The Face of Love
by CDV10
Summary: The rise of a relationship, the downfall of a relationship, and everything in between. A story about passion, friendship, love, and betrayal...
1. The Beginning

Well here goes nothing. This story is an adaptation of a short story I wrote for my Creative Writing class this past year (which I rocked in, thanks to the writing I've done on here!). That story was good but it wasn't wrestling-based (the characters/personalities were the same though), and it lacked a lot of detail that I was limited in using (I maxed my page limit..). So I hope this one is better, since I can develop it more and play it to my personal liking…

Anyways, that's enough of that…

I don't own any of these characters and names… hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :D

* * *

**Wrestlemania X8, 2002**

Chris Jericho had never been more pissed in his entire life. Who exactly his anger was directed at though, had yet to be determined. All he knew was he was pissed, and wanted to do nothing more than go get absolutely shit-faced at one of the local bars. He clenched his fists and yearned for nothing more than forget this night had ever transpired.

He ignored the looks that he was getting backstage as he made a beeline straight towards his locker room. Each time he passed by a couple of wrestlers who hushed at the sight of him, his anger kicked up another notch. When he finally found his locker room, he stood still for a moment as he stared at the plaque that met him.

_CHRIS JERICHO: UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION_

Carefully and with tremendous heartache, he reached up and let his fingers graze over the engraved plaque that hung on his door. He closed his eyes and imagined that he once again was carrying his two babies, his prides of joy, one glorious belt slung over each shoulder, proof to the world that he was the real deal, a threat to the business and someone to be reckoned with…

_The absolute fucking best in the world… _he sighed, remembering how Stephanie had promised him that this would be his night. _A night to remember, _as she put it.

_Yeah, right._

"Nice match out there Jericho," He heard a familiar voice say. Quickly, the Canadian's dangerous temper flared as he opened his eyes to gaze at his source of interruption. He was met with an Olympic-sized grin. "Tough, but nice match all around..." Kurt Angle put his hands on his hips as his mocking smirk took his features.

"What do you want, Angle?" Chris demanded in a low voice.

"Geez, someone's suffering from lack-of-belt-tinitis, huh?" Kurt said, snickering. The Canadian staring back at him was not amused. "Anyways, I just wanted to congratulate you… and ask how it felt to play second-fiddle to Hogan and Rock? That must've sucked royally, I bet. An old geezer and a movie-star wannabe outshone our premier main eventers… never thought I'd see the day."

Chris could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his face getting hot as he stepped up to Kurt, who stood his ground. "At least I've main evented a Wrestlemania, you stupid son-of--"

"Chris!" Stephanie suddenly exclaimed, finally having caught up with him. She was not in the best of shape – as a matter of fact, she was still a little woozy from that Pedigree, but she was a McMahon, damn it. Triple H of all people was not going to bring her down. She'd rather die first.

Chris felt her grab his arm and pull him back away from Kurt. He immediately pulled his arm away and practically knocked the door to his locker room off its hinges before stalking inside, startling the two watching him. Stephanie sighed heavily and turned an icy glare towards Kurt.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to rile up Jericho a bit. You never know, he might get that title back –"

"Oh, he will, don't you doubt that for a second." She interrupted with an edge in her voice.

"Well, whatever the case may be Steph… I'm due for a shot around here, so I figured a few mind games wouldn't hurt." He shrugged innocently, earning a look of contempt from Stephanie. His eyebrows shot up, legitimately surprised. "Whoa, what's that look about? Come on Steph, we're friends, right?"

"I don't appreciate you riling up my business partner, because guess who has to go in there and calm him down?" She demanded in a loud voice. "Not you, me! So do me a _favor, _dear _friend, _and don't make my life harder than it needs to be!"

"Sorry Stephanie, I'll leave you alone." Kurt mumbled, before glancing up at the plaque that still remained on Chris' door. "You better take that thing off though, before somebody else does."

Stephanie glared at the departing Olympic Champion and then looked at the plaque in question. All of a sudden, she felt a pang of guilt ride inside of her – a relatively new sensation for the young Billion Dollar Princess. Yes, part of her actually felt slightly responsible for Chris Jericho no longer being champion. Sighing again, she carefully removed the plaque and braced herself for what she knew would be one hell of a confrontation. After a moment of contemplating, she opened the door and stepped inside the locker room.

He was sitting on a steel folding chair, his head in his hands, a towel draped around his shoulders. He hadn't even bothered to change. His eyes were squeezed shut, and she couldn't tell if he was about to cry or go absolutely berserk and lose all the control he had left.

She wouldn't blame him for either, although the first would be less expensive to repair. She hesitated but determined that this wasn't the best course of action for either one of them to take.

The sound of her clearing her throat seemed to echo in the small room.

"Chris?"

He didn't budge. She sighed and put the plaque from the door on a chair nearby, wondering what was the best approach to take in this situation. Her business partner had one hell of an ego, but even more than his ego weighed his pride.

Which made this a potentially volatile situation.

"Where the hell were you?" He said in a low voice, almost startling her. He raised his head, and she could register nothing but fury in his blue eyes.

"Chris, I tried –"

"You _tried?_" He sneered, standing and slowly advancing towards her. She raised her chin but the look in his eye was slightly discerning. "Was that my end of the deal after everything I did for you? You _trying _your best?"

"Chris, I don't think you're in a reasonable state of thinking right now…" She tried to argue rationally as he continued getting closer.

"Oh, I think I am, Steph. I was in a reasonable state when I agreed to this little proposition of yours to be business partners. I was in a reasonable fucking state when you sent me on all your bullshit little errands these past few months!" He practically shouted, waving his arms for emphasis.

She had never seen him this mad before. His face was growing red as the towel that was around his shoulders dropped to the floor. He was literally fuming with anger, and it was slightly unnerving.

Unnerving, but damn sure not intimidating. She _was _a McMahon…

"I said I would _help _you, Jericho, not hand-feed you." She bitterly spat out, holding her ground. "If you couldn't get the job done even with me giving you an extra hand, that is _not _my problem."

"So I suppose being my fucking business partner means absolutely nothing then? You know what?" He snarled, raising his voice even more. "Get the hell out of my locker room, I never want to see your face again. You're worthless to me, and you always will be."

The words somehow stung her. She thought she was better than that, better than letting someone like him get to her.

_Two could play that game._

"Worthless huh? You know what, _Jericho_?" She angrily spit out his name in disgust. "Maybe everyone _did _have you figured out back in January. You remember that promo you had with The Rock before the Rumble?" His eyes darkening at the mention answered her question. "Everyone around here _does _view you as a joke! Because that's all you are, Chris. You were nothing but a fluke when you won that title last year, you were nothing but a transitional champion while you carried it, and now, you're _nothing _without it!"

The only sound in the room was Chris' labored breathing as he stared a hole through her. She smirked triumphantly, grating on his last nerves like no one had ever done. He watched as she turned on her heel and marched back towards the door, a swagger in her step.

If he had ever been overcome with a blind rage, it was at that moment.

Just as she was reaching for the door handle, she felt him grip her arm tightly and swing her back around to face him. Well, yank was perhaps more appropriate, as she yelped from the tight grip he had on her. He shoved her back roughly against the door and pinned her arms next to her head.

Now, she was no longer intimidated by him. No, now she was actually legitimately scared of the man who was currently manhandling her as she struggled to free herself from him. The more she struggled, the tighter his grip on her became.

"Chris, stop!" She squealed in pain, pleading with him. "You're hurting me!"

"_Take those comments back!" _He snarled in her face while she continued to fight back. _"Take them back right now!" _

It was no use fighting him. He was too strong for that. She stopped struggling and glared at him, giving him the meanest, bitchiest look she could muster while she tried getting her breathing back under control.

"Make me." She spat out angrily.

"Don't try me." He said dangerously, also out of breath. Whether that was from his anger or from struggling to hold her back against the door, it was hard to tell.

They stood almost nose-to-nose for a tense ten whole seconds, each daring the other to back down first.

"Like I said," She repeated, in a calm voice that also dripped with venom. _"Make. Me."_

If ever he had wished that she was a man so he could knock the living shit out of her, it was at this moment. Instead, he glared as she stared back at him defiantly. As if daring him to do something to her, she mockingly raised an eyebrow, as if silently prompting him: _Well?_

No longer thinking rationally, his ego and pride both having been deflated in too close a period of time, he lowered his gaze to her lips and thought of the next best thing he could do to her. She followed his gaze and her eyes grew wide.

"Chris Jericho," She stated in a warning tone, as he licked his lips hungrily, "don't you _dare –"_

His lips came crashing down on hers forcefully, much to her chagrin. She squealed against his mouth as he released his grip on her arms to grab the sides of her face and force the kiss deeper. She pounded against his shoulders and his chest, but he just backed her up again roughly against the door. The force made her gasp and inadvertently gave him full access to her mouth.

The feel of his flush bare skin against her was almost sweet torture to Stephanie, who hadn't had a man touch her like that in only God knew how long. His touch making her weak and also turning her on, she stopped resisting how good he was making her feel. Instead, she let her hands trail down his chest, teasing the hot skin under her fingertips that felt like it was on fire.

No longer caring that he had violated their "just business partners" agreement, Chris moaned his approval against her mouth as he relished in her touch. For just that moment, his thoughts about being the number one wrestler in the business had been tossed out the window.

He wanted her. But more importantly, he needed her, needed her in the worst way. Triple H could go out and enjoy his newfound championship, but Chris was going home with the real prize…

And with that thought, never breaking his hot kiss with her, he wrapped one arm around her waist and hooked her leg with his other arm. He effortlessly lifted her up and she instinctively wrapped her legs around him while simultaneously deepening their kiss, making him groan with pleasure as he lead her over to the sofa, where they collapsed together as one.

It turned out to be a night to remember after all.

* * *

To continue or not continue? That is the question... you tell me :D 


	2. A Truce

**The next night: Monday, March 18th, 2002**

Stephanie leaned back from the mirror, finally satisfied with the way her makeup looked. She took a glance at the neckbrace and smirked, knowing she was gonna play a guilt card with Triple H when she wore that for the show that night. She knew he'd probably laugh, but she was always paying attention to small details – she couldn't help it.

She looked at the time and cursed underneath her breath as she began throwing her essentials into her purse. She had to leave her hotel room soon or she'd get to the Raw late. She hated being late and dealing with the idiotic fans, so she quickened her pace.

She was almost out the door when her cell phone vibrated on her night table. Shocked that she had almost left without it, she ran over and immediately flipped it open.

"Stephanie McMahon?"

"Hey, it's me."

Her heart skipped a beat, as she remembered the night before. She took a deep, almost dramatic breath, not even sure what to say to him. She didn't know if she should apologize for his match, or if she should just hang up for his harsh words afterwards, or if she should demand to know what possessed him to do what he did after their little argument…

Not that she didn't like it – but still, she wanted to know…

"Stephanie?"

"I'm here. What is it, Chris?"

"I'm downstairs. Come down, I'm waiting for you."

"See you in a few."

* * *

Chris felt like such an idiot as he waited for her. He didn't even know why he was doing this, feeling extremely out of place as he stood in the hotel lobby, receiving strange looks from the other wrestlers who were on their way out to the arena. Ignoring them all, he maintained his ground and continued to wait. 

He knew what they were all thinking. He had heard the ridiculous rumors that ran rampant among the boys about him and Stephanie. Hell, he had even laughed at the rumors spreading wild backstage that they had become "fuck buddies." The very idea was stupid, preposterous… _juvenile_ almost.

Until last night that is.

Popping his gum, he glanced down at the bouquet of roses in his hands. What the hell was the point, he wondered to himself. Was he trying to apologize to her about the night before? He scowled to himself as he glared at the bouquet he carried, as if the flowers would provide the answers.

_No, _he reminded himself. _There's nothing to apologize for. _

Triple H was walking down to the lobby just then, his limo ready and waiting for him outside. He was smirking as he practically strutted over to the main desk to sign himself out of the hotel, since he was going to have some "fun" on the town that night to further celebrate his newfound championship status.

He was back in his rightful place in the business, and he couldn't have been more satisfied. All his hard work had finally paid off.

He looked around with a wide grin on his face, scanning the area as the clerk brought up his information on the computer. His grin grew when he caught sight of a certain Canadian standing off to the side, who hadn't noticed him yet. He quickly dealt with the clerk before heading off towards the former champion's direction.

He snickered at the sight of him. The man really did look a bit lost without the gold around his shoulders. Hunter could tell that he was zoned out by the dazed expression on the younger man's face. He looked down in amusement to what the Canadian held in his hands.

"Aw, for me, Jericho? You shouldn't have."

That snapped Chris out of the incredible daydream he was having. He shook his head, ridding himself of the x-rated images he was having of Stephanie and all of the things he wanted to do to her. Finally focused, he glared at Hunter, who laughed.

"In all seriousness, you and Stephanie?" Hunter asked, motioning towards the bouquet Chris held in his hands. "Who would've thought?"

"Don't you have more important things to do?" Chris mumbled, staring at the gold that Hunter was carrying.

Triple H didn't miss a beat. "Oh, I do have more important things to do, but hey, I just want to wish you the best of luck with Steph, man. Since you're not getting these bad boys back anytime soon…" He raised one of the belts as he admired it. "Stephanie might just be the next best thing for you."

"Enjoy the belts while you got 'em, Trips, cause I _will _get them back."

"You really do have a better chance with my slut of an ex-wife. Hope you enjoy her, man. She's pretty good," he snickered, "if you know what I mean."

Chris snickered as well as Hunter walked off with that smug expression on his face. He knew he would have another chance to reclaim his gold; for the moment, he would have to just be patient. He silently congratulated himself for not flying off the handle with Hunter, thankful that he had maintained his cool.

Just as he was trying to remember what he had been daydreaming about, he saw her. She stepped out through the elevator doors, and he couldn't help but stare.

Lord help him, she looked amazing. His heartbeat quickened a bit as he remembered the night before. Staring at her, he envisioned himself throwing out the bouquet as he took her right there in the hotel lobby. Hell, maybe he could throw her on the counter table and they could just go at it right there… or in the elevator, he'd take her there, and they could just do it all night until she was hoarse from screaming his name…

Stephanie quickly scanned the hotel lobby, her eyes finally settling on Chris. He was leaning against the wall, a bouquet of roses in his hands.

Something fluttered inside of her when she saw the way he was looking at her. He had the eyes of a predator, and it intrigued her. She took a deep breath and walked confidently over to him.

They stared at each other for a tense moment, before he awkwardly handed her the bouquet.

"Here… I got these for you." He stated calmly. She looked legitimately surprised, and reached out almost apprehensively to take the bouquet from him. He watched as she admired the roses, while he admired her body…

"What are these for?" She asked, her voice just as calm as his as she ran her fingertips gently over the roses before bringing them up to smell them. It was as if she knew he didn't have the answers, and she was torturing him by making him admit it.

He felt his face burn as embarrassment started to creep up through him.

"I don't know," he muttered, shrugging as he ran a hand quickly through his hair, "I guess… I just thought, well…you know, last night…"

"Last night…" Her voice trailed off, as she looked back up at him, leaving it to him to finish the statement.

"Was…" He paused, struggling to find the word. "… good."

"It was… _good?_" She stared at him incredulously. She knew he could have done a hell of a lot better in describing the night before. It was more than good to her, so much more that she had dreamt about it, and if he would've just asked, she would've told him just how "good"it had been…

"_Really _good…" He said huskily, taking a small step closer to her.

"_How _good?" She asked in a flirting tone, not even believing her own ears as she watched him advance a little more.

The chemistry between the two was off the charts as he reached out and touched one of the roses in the bouquet he had just given her. He let his fingers trail lightly over them just like she had, while she watched him intently.

Oh God, he was indescribably handsome. Why the hell hadn't she noticed this before? She had been so consumed by greed, greed for more power, that she had overlooked just how good-looking the man before her was.

Her gaze lowered to his hand that was softly almost caressing one of the petals in the bouquet. She immediately imagined that hand on her again, feeling, stroking, lighting her world on fire, just like he had done last night…

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and looked away from his hand. She could not believe that she wanted him so badly. She wasn't dense – she knew the rumors about the two, but she just couldn't believe that they were starting to come true before her very eyes…

"Almost _too _good..." He finally answered, looking up and making eye contact with her. She smirked at his response, and he had to restrain himself from hauling her off somewhere secluded and taking her however, wherever, whenever he wanted…

He pulled his hand away and put both hands in his pockets, willing himself to regain his control. Since when had Stephanie gotten to him like this? Before last night he had never even seen her that way… she wasn't his type, he reminded himself.

Or so he tried to convince himself. His intense staring of her was proving otherwise. She cleared her throat, trying to ease the awkwardness his staring was causing, before looking down at the bouquet he had gotten her.

"Well… thanks for the flowers, Chris. They're beautiful." He just nodded, shrugging to show it wasn't a big deal.

"Glad you like them."

"I do."

There was an awkward silence as they once again just stared at each other.

"Do you want a ride to the arena?" He asked nonchalantly, half of him wishing she'd decline so he wouldn't lose his mind with her so close to him. He mentally berated himself for even asking her such a stupid question. He needed time to calm whatever the hell this was that he felt for her…

"Got a limo?" She asked, a grin tugging on her lips. He blinked, and then frowned and shook his head. He had relinquished everything that came along with being the champion. She thought about this for a moment, before finally agreeing.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

They barely had time to close the doors all the way to Chris's rental several moments later before they were on each other. He grabbed her and urgently pulled her on top of him as he kissed her, entangling his hands in her hair. She repositioned herself on him, so that she was straddling him, making him groan against her mouth. She let the kiss go on for a few more minutes, before pulling away and giving him an evil smirk. 

"I thought you said you never wanted to see my face again," she said as she slipped her hands up underneath his t-shirt.

"God, Stephanie," He put his hands on her hips as she ran her hands teasingly up his chest. She could feel his response, she knew that he wanted her, and she loved it…

Now she really had him at her mercy… it was time to get some payback for the night before for the Billion Dollar Princess.

Thankful that it was dark out, she reached over the side to the lever that readjusted the seat, and lowered it all the way. He looked up at her in surprise as she shifted herself around in his lap. He bit his lip hard and realized she was torturing him on purpose.

He knew he shouldn't have asked if she needed a ride.

"That was really hurtful when you said that Chris, you really hurt my feelings." Stephanie droned, aware that the man underneath her was about to go crazy from not having her.

To drive home her point, she slowly started rocking against him. His response was electrifying.

"Jesus Christ, Stephanie…" His eyes rolled back and she snickered, purposely keeping the pace slow and making sure he couldn't get his hands in to undress them. She could feel him squirming underneath her, turning her on in the process.

"I think you should apologize." She stated, continuing to tease the now-hot skin of his chest.

"Oh you _bitch_," He snarled, though he made no effort to get her to stop, his eyes still closed, "I hate you…"

"If this is hate, then who the fuck needs love?" She snickered again. "You still haven't apologized for what you said."

"Neither have you…" He mumbled, about to lose his mind with her on top of him the way she was. The fact that they could be caught at almost any moment was an even bigger turn-on.

"And what have I done? Poor little old me? I am completely innocent..."

"Let's call a truce…"

"A truce," She said, accepting his offer. Truth be told, the way he was responding to her was driving her crazy. She brought her hands up to run through his hair as she continued to rock, agonizingly slowly for him.

"A truce it is…" He grabbed her hands and pulled her flush against him, capturing her in another kiss.

So much for making it on time to the arena.


	3. Scared

**A/N: **Thanks to my loyal editor-in-chief, Ms. Mena, for her advice & input on this chapter, and thanks to NINA (who reeks of awesomeness) for the tidbits of info on this show, oh so long ago...

* * *

**3 days later: Thursday, March 21st, 2002**

He stared at her as she paced. She had been pacing the length of his locker room for the last ten minutes, her arms wrapped around herself as she contemplated something. What exactly was on her mind, he didn't know – but he had a very good guess. He leaned back a bit on the leather sofa he was sitting on as he continued to watch.

"Just make sure you don't walk yourself into a hole before next Monday." He said, popping the gum he was chewing. He tried to keep the amusement out of his voice, but it was to no avail. She shot him a glare as she continued to pace.

"God, this just has to work!" She snarled suddenly, a frown coming across her features. "He cannot just keep prancing around showing those titles off!"

Chris snorted, making her stop her pacing and stare at him.

"You got something to say?" She demanded, making him snicker as he stood up. He stalked on over to her, a hint of a smirk on his face as he stood nose-to-nose with the Princess.

"You've been acting all weird ever since Monday, and I don't think it's all about Triple H." Her eyes narrowed angrily at him, making his smirk finally shine through on his face as he raised an eyebrow in anticipation of her response.

"What exactly are you trying to say?" She asked, daring him with her eyes to mention a word of the hot sex the two had been having ever since Monday night – sex that left no strings attached, no feelings involved, and no explanations given…

He licked his lips, before tilting his head to the side as he gazed at her. She was so angry, so fiery, that he loved it… he reached out to her and let his fingers barely graze over the skin on her arm as he trailed his hand down her arm until he reached her hand. He took her hand in his and admired her perfect manicure.

She was breathing deeply now, slightly turned on by his simple touch. She watched him intently but he kept his eyes away from hers.

"I think you're scared." He said, still admiring her hand. "You just don't want to admit it." He added, letting go of her hand and giving her a knowing smirk.

"Excuse you?" She asked in disbelief, putting her hands on her hips and ignoring the brief flash of disappointment when he had let go of her hand. "I'm Stephanie McMahon, damn it! I'm not scared of anything!"

Chris laughed at this, and it was perhaps the first genuine laugh Stephanie had ever heard from him. It was such a nice, rich, and contagious laugh, so much so that she had to fight to keep the frown on her own face and not start laughing herself.

This of course only pissed her off more.

"_What is so funny!" _She screeched, glaring at him as he continued to laugh. He just smiled at her and shook his head, still chuckling to himself.

"You are, you're fucking hilarious," he said, wiping at his eyes as he turned and headed towards the bathroom. "I need to shower and change for the show so I can look like the sexy beast that I am, but if you want to keep pacing away, by all means… feel free!"

He laughed again as the door clicked behind him while she grew even more incensed.

_He has such nerve! _She thought bitterly to herself as she unconsciously started pacing again. As if on cue, her thoughts went back to Raw from earlier in the week, back to that stupid agreement she made with Triple H.

Being the good business partner that she was, she had gotten Chris a rematch from Wrestlemania the following Monday night on Raw.

Being the manipulative bastard that her soon-to-be-ex-husband was, he had forced her to make it a handicap match – and so it was to be. The following Monday, she was set to team up with Chris Jericho, her… her what? She suddenly thought to herself.

What the hell _was_ he to her?

Sure… they had had sex together… but it was meaningless, she convinced herself. Absolutely, 100 percent meaningless lust that was moving the two along together.

And besides, the fact that he would always go back to pretending nothing ever happened was enough to drive home the fact that he wanted no strings attached, and she could live with that.

After all, she didn't have much of a choice – it was either live with it, or live without him and his delicious touch… she shuddered as she remembered the past few days, and the sneaking around that the two had done. She couldn't remember having this much fun with anyone else... she cursed underneath her breath, cursing her luck that of all the guys she had to go and start a fling with, it just had to be her business partner.

Her rather hot business partner...

Just then, she heard the shower come on in the bathroom. She stopped her pacing and stared at the door, half of her inclined to walk in and…

God she wanted to scream! She angrily growled under her breath and forced herself to stop thinking about him, if just for tonight, as she resumed her restless pacing…

Meanwhile, Chris was taking an extremely cold shower as his thoughts went back to her. He sighed and turned his face right underneath the showerhead, welcoming the cold that gave him some form of relief from the torment that was Stephanie McMahon. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to regain his senses.

He could _not _let her do this to him. He was above this, above her, above everyone… and he hadn't been lying when he said she was scared. And he knew why she was scared, but he wanted _her _to realize it and admit it to him.

He wanted her to admit to him that maybe, just maybe… the mind-blowing sex didn't have to _be _just sex…

God, had he really just thought that? He reached out and made the water colder, ignoring the chill that ran down his back and welcoming the mind-numbing cold water running down his body.

His mind went to the upcoming match on Monday. He was scheduled to face Trips in a handicap match… with none other than Stephanie as his partner. And the catch? If she lost, she was gone… _gone, _and for good. He sighed as he took in the cold water for another moment, before turning it off altogether.

He hoped Stephanie would let him keep his sanity until Monday.

* * *

About an hour later, Chris was wandering the halls looking for her. He frowned, wondering where she had disappeared to. They had agreed to cut a promo in the ring together, and it was nearing the time when they were scheduled to go on. 

_Goddamn woman is always making me wait on her._

Just then, someone from above had pity on the Canadian's plight as she came into his view. She was sitting on top of a table by the gorilla position, a bored look on her face. She caught sight of him then, and she smiled, hopping off the table as he made his way over to her.

"Someone's in a better mood." He observed as he came up to her. Her smile only grew, and he couldn't help but grin. "What's the occasion?"

"Oh, I just talked to my dad and he told me something wonderful." She said in an innocent voice, even if it contradicted the evil glint she had in her eye. Intrigued, he snickered and took a seat on the table where she had been sitting.

"Oh really? Do tell."

"Now now Chris, be patient and you'll find out soon enough." She said, rubbing his knees as she stood in front of him. "You're just going to have to trust me."

"Why should I?" He asked in a low voice, as her hands traveled up his legs slowly.

"Because, what benefits me, also benefits you, my lovely and handsome business partner." She said in a flirting tone, her hands slowly running up the inside of his thighs…

He grabbed her hands before she could touch him where she wanted, pulling her closer to him.

"Not til you tell me what's up." He stated. She raised an eyebrow and decided to share her new secret with him, when they both heard his music cue up on the P.A. She smiled and pulled away from him.

"I'll tell you along with the whole world."

* * *

_A fucking triple threat match? _

He was expecting a lot of things, sure. He wasn't caught off guard by Triple H showing his video of memorable (aka humiliating) Stephanie moments. He wasn't surprised by the chants of the crowd showing their overwhelming support of potentially never seeing Stephanie grace a WWE ring again.

But he never saw this announcement coming.

He numbly walked backstage after his in-ring promo with Stephanie, not even knowing what to think, say, or do. She had talked to her dad all right, and gotten the match changed – _to a triple threat match?_

If she pinned either him or Hunter, that would mean… he shuddered, not wanting to imagine _Stephanie McMahon _of all people carrying _his _title.

Where the hell was the part that was supposed to benefit him?

As he was contemplating this, Lillian Garcia approached him and asked what his thoughts were about Stephanie's announcement. He frowned and thought about it, wondering aloud what exactly that woman had up her sleeves…

And then, the heavens opened up and an illuminating idea suddenly struck Chris Jericho.

If _he _pinned Stephanie… then _he _would walk away the new Undisputed Champion, reclaiming what was rightfully his.

He smiled.

* * *

Stephanie was once again pacing the length of his locker room when he barged in. Startled, she spun around just to find him walking right up to her. She opened her mouth to explain herself, but didn't get the chance before he kissed the life out of her… 

"You're a genius, McMahon." He mumbled against her lips as he quickly removed his shirt, letting it drop to the floor as he wrapped his muscular arms around her, making her feel dizzy in the process. How she loved the feel of his bare skin against her - it was almost maddeningtly intoxicating to her senses.

"You doubted me for a second, Christopher?" She snickered as he moved in to kiss her neck while she played with his hair. His touch... damn his touch and the effect it had on her. "I'm hurt…"

He growled against her, no longer in the mood for words as he backed her up until she was against the wall. He moved lower and continued kissing her until he was kissing her cleavage, with no intentions of stopping as he slipped one hand up her shirt…

"Chris," She mumbled, aroused by the feel of his warm lips on her skin. "Chris… stop, stop, please stop…"

He sighed against her and looked up to meet her gaze. She watched as he questioned her wordlessly with his enticing blue eyes… and as much as she wanted him, wanted nothing _but _him, she just had to tell him…

She nudged him so he would stand. As soon as he did, he leaned in close to her, teasing her with another kiss as he rested his forearms on either side of her head. She closed her eyes to regain her bearings, but it was hard, when she could practically feel the heat radiating from him… but she forced herself to speak.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his lips less than an inch from hers, teasing her, damn near _torturing _her, driving her crazy. "You've never wanted me to stop before…"

"What you said earlier about me being scared…" She started hesitantly.

He stopped his teasing and pulled back, staring at her. His heart skipped a beat as she sighed, her eyes still closed. He took in her beauty, the way her skin seemed to almost radiate, drawing him to her… like she always had.

"Yeah?" He said, more than willing to stand there and wait forever for an answer… he was shocked by how badly he wanted to hear this confession from her, but here he was, hanging on her every word…

"You were right." She finally said softly, almost painfully. He couldn't help but smile.

"I knew I was."

"And Triple H only confirmed it…" At this, his eyes widened in surprise. There was no way they could be talking about the same thing.

_What the hell is she talking about then?_

"I _am_ scared, Chris," she said, purposely keeping her eyes closed so as not to see his reaction to her losing her composure, "scared that something's going to happen on Monday. God I can't help it, what if Hunter takes you out and comes after me? It'll only take three seconds Chris, three seconds, and I'm gone… I'm gone!"

Her voice cracked on her last word, but she miraculously kept from breaking down in front of him. She kept silent and kept her eyes closed, feeling his heat still near her as she waited for a response.

_Any _response…

But he was too busy processing her words. Here he had thought she'd say something about their… _escapades, _so to speak, and she was coming at him with this? He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, figuring he might as well just take the sex for what it was, and just take whatever elsehe could get from her. It was stupid to expect any more.

It was obvious she didn't want anything more. No strings attached... that was the underlined agreement. He would just have to learn to accept that.

"God Chris," She said suddenly. "Please, say something…"

He sighed and leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers in a light kiss before coming up and kissing one closed eye at a time, his hands cupping her face while he did so. She sighed with content, loving the way he was kissing her. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, before coming up to whisper in her ear.

"He's not going to pin you Monday, you won't be kicked off the shows."

"How can you be so sure?" She said, finally opening her eyes to look at him. "What if something happens to you, or to me? What if something --"

"I promise you, on the sake of _my_ title, that nothing will happen. I promise, Steph – I won't let anything happen to you."

He looked at her intently, his look almost cutting through her. She maintained his eye contact, before accepting his promise. She leaned in to kiss him hungrily, a kiss which he readily returned. He pushed himself fully against her, making her feel how badly he wanted her, as he once again trailed his kisses lower and lower, while she enjoyed each one as though it were the last… because she just couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling in her stomach, reminding her that sometimes, promises only get you so far.

But she was going to trust Chris with his promise. She didn't have a choice... she just hoped she wouldn't live to regret it.


	4. Getting Ready

**Monday, March 25th, 2002**

He was restless.

Had he been more honest with himself, he would've realized that he was more nervous than restless. He sighed as he wandered the hallways, not paying attention to anything in particular, save for the occasional glances at one of the clocks that hung on the walls to make sure the time didn't pass him by before he was ready.

He couldn't remember the last time he had had to deal with the gut-wrenching torment his stomach was going through, not when it came to a match anyways. Hell, even his bout at Wrestlemania in the main-event spot hadn't brought up these old feelings of insecurity…

But that was different. He had had Stephanie at his side, and he had been so confident that the match was his before he had even stepped foot in the arena that night… so confident that he was already preparing the celebration afterwards before even leaving his hotel that day.

_What a joke._

Plopping down on one of the steel chairs that was lined up in the hallway, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, annoyed at the way his body was betraying him. Tonight was _not _the night for mistakes, and he knew this. He knew this very well.

He knew that if he didn't get the job done that night, he might as well kiss his chances goodbye at ever becoming champion again.

"Yo Jericho, how's it going man?"

Chris glanced up quickly at the person who interrupted his chain of thought, frowning slightly. Christian laughed and leaned against the wall next to his fellow Canadian, who seemed to be lost in thought.

"It's going good." Chris answered nonchalantly. "Just trying to get focused."

_In other words, take a hint and get lost._

"Yeah, I don't blame you. Big rematch tonight huh? Good luck with that."

"I don't need luck." Chris stated confidently, almost arrogantly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his head back against the wall.

"What's with Stephanie changing the stipulations, dude? Pretty weird if you ask me."

Chris snickered. "Trust me, that woman knows what she's doing…" His voice trailed off, as he remembered the stipulations to the match. He wasn't too keen on Stephanie getting involved with him and Triple H, especially with the types of matches they always had together. She was such a liability out there, and he didn't like it…

"Hey dude, you okay?" Christian asked, furrowing his brow in curiosity as he gazed at the former champion. "You seem a little out of it."

"Like I said, I'm trying to get focused." With that, Chris stood up. He had to keep moving, he had to get ready for his big match.

"Hey I know how that is…" Christian said with a lighthearted laugh. "In any case, hope everything works out for you."

"Why the sudden interest in me winning this title all of a sudden?" Chris demanded, watching Christian curiously. He was hesitant to trust anyone, not sure of what anyone's intentions were. But at the same time, he found himself silently wanting Christian's support, if only so that he could have someone he could turn to for motivation.

Besides Stephanie, of course.

"Hey, someone's gotta represent Canadians."

Chris tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help but smile at the comment. It was comforting that he actually had some people that genuinely wanted him to be champion again. They quickly exchanged their goodbyes, and before long, Chris found himself wandering the halls aimlessly once again.

He was slightly more relaxed after the exchange with Christian. It still wasn't enough though, not for him at least.

Not really knowing what else to do, and it still being too early to hang out at the gorilla position, he made his way back over to his locker room. Everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off because of the draft lottery that was going on that night. Luckily for Chris, he was ineligible to be drafted to any show.

For the time being anyways.

He had barely opened the door to his locker room when Stephanie already had a hold of his arm, practically yanking him inside, catching him completely off guard.

"Where the hell have you been?" She demanded, closing the door behind her.

"Geez, miss me much?" Chris said, rolling his eyes as he went to sit down on the sofa. She scoffed and leaned back against the door as she watched him.

"Have you forgotten about our little match tonight?" She sneered.

"Ha, I wish," He snorted. "I haven't been able to focus on anything else."

"Good, because we need to strategize." She said, rubbing her hands together. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head. Intrigued, he leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand as he watched her begin to pace the length of his locker room.

"It's simple Chris, it's really simple. The best way to go about this is to get Hunter out of the ring long enough for you to pin me, and then we're home free."

Chris nodded, trying to convince himself that it would really be that easy, deep down knowing he was fooling himself.

"You just need to make sure that you get him out and get him out for a long enough period of time for us to get a solid three-count, think you can do that?... Are you even listening to me!"

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was off in his own little world. She sighed, looking up at the ceiling briefly as if for inspiration. If she had ever been placed in an all-or-nothing situation, this was it. She shook her head and made her way over to him.

He didn't even realize she was sitting next to him until he felt her hands on his broad shoulders. He opened his mouth to sarcastically ask what she wanted him to go out and buy this time, when she started gently squeezing his shoulders as she began to massage him. The words died at his lips as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes, a light groan escaping him.

"You're tense." She said, gently pulling his open shirt back to expose more of his skin around his shoulders as she continued her massage. He mumbled an incoherent response, making her smirk. After being with Triple H so long, she knew what the spots were to hit on a man when he felt tense.

"Are you nervous?" She asked, slowly moving down his back. She knew exactly where he'd be sore from the overall wear and tear of the ring, and she focused her attention on those areas.

"God, Stephanie," He mumbled, feeling his body ease under her touch. He tried to remember the match and everything that was going to be on the line, but all he could think of was her hands, the expertise she was showing with her massage being second to none…

"You didn't answer my question…"

"What question?" He answered, almost dazed by her massage. She grinned, slowly bringing her hands back up to his shoulders and the sides of his neck.

"Are you nervous?"

"No… why would I be?"

"I don't know." She purred, stopping her massage as she draped her arms over his shoulders, pulling him into a loose hug as she rested her chin on his shoulder. "You tell me?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, frowning slightly. "I never get scared, I'm Chris Jericho, I'm the best there is…"

His voice trailed when she started kissing his neck lightly. He bit his lip, refusing to get into this with her, until she turned his head to face her and teased his lips with her own. Tired of being teased, he leaned in fully and took her lips in his, continuing to lean in until he was on top of her on the sofa, kissing her all the way.

"You're scared…" She said breathlessly when he finally broke their kiss to remove his shirt. His eyes darkened as he leaned down, his lips inches from hers while he maintained their eye contact.

"Never…" He mumbled, licking his lips as he trailed the outline of her lips with one finger. He knew all the teasing that night would be just that, teasing… there was no way he would let her exhaust him, not before such an important match.

She knew it too, but he was looking so irresistible hovering above her the way he was at that moment…

"Why don't you just admit it?" She said, tilting her head to one side. She wrapped her arms around him, bringing him closer to her, before trailing her fingers lightly down the muscles of his back. She snickered when she saw him close his eyes and take a deep, shaky breath.

She knew he wanted her badly. She knew it, and she loved it…

"Stephanie…"

"Chris, it's okay to be scared, if you can admit it to anyone, why can't that someone be me?" She asked nonchalantly, letting her hands go to the waistband of his ring tights, which she started to toy with…

His pride screamed at him to ignore the woman underneath him. He was Chris Jericho, damn it, he was _better _than that! He berated himself mentally for letting a match throw him so off balance. He was supposed to be cool, confident, sure of himself in every possible way…

He opened his eyes to see her knowingly staring up at him. Her eyes told him a comforting truth, so much so that he was lost in her gaze.

And in that moment, he knew that she could read him. She knew he was scared… he didn't know how she knew, or how long she had been able to read him, but now he knew. And it scared the living hell out of him…

"No," He stammered, telling himself mentally to get off her, lest she drive him crazy with temptation. But he was frozen, his eyes locked on hers, his body once again betraying him… "No, I'm not… no Stephanie, it's not that I'm…" He struggled for the words, cursing himself for sounding like such an idiot.

Hell, he wasn't even sure who he was trying to convince anymore.

"Like I said, it's okay. You don't have to admit it, it's okay, Chris…" She leaned up and kissed him lightly. He deepened their kiss, his way of thanking her for not letting him forsake what pride he had left. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, one hand playing with his hair… they stayed that way for a long time, neither one wanting to kiss anywhere else lest they get carried away.

And they both knew that neither of them would stop the other from going farther than just kissing…

They were still making out when there was a knock on the door. Chris barely broke away from her to shout a response.

"Yeah!" He cried out, breathless, yet quick to resume kissing Stephanie. God, she was so intoxicating, he just couldn't get enough of her taste…

"You're on in fifteen, Jericho!" Someone yelled from the other side.

Stephanie reluctantly pulled back from him, looking up into his blue eyes… she could see a million different things swirling in those eyes of his, eyes that she could easily get lost in…

What the hell was wrong with her, she suddenly thought to herself. Reminding herself of their silent "no strings attached" understanding, she sighed and gently but firmly pushed him away from her.

"Chris, it's time, come on."

He sighed heavily and reluctantly got up, before offering her a hand. She smirked at him and took it, even giving him a small twirl. He eyed her and licked his lips, before bringing his hands up to fix his hair while she fixed her own.

"Feel better, my handsome business partner?" She teased. He stretched his arms and jumped up in place a few times, before grinning.

"Lots better, Princess. You sure do have a great touch…" He said in a husky voice as he took a step closer to her, but she raised her hand to stop him.

"Thank you, but you have a match to get ready for, and I told Michael Cole I'd give him a free interview before our big match." She said, cursing that she almost forgot.

"Oh, okay, that's cool I guess."

"Yeah, and then I get to go out there and hopefully not get pinned so I don't have to quit!" She laughed sarcastically, shaking her head as she made her way over to the door. Before she could open it though, she felt one of his arms wrap around her waist and pull her until she was leaning against his chest. She shuddered, his warm breath close to her ear.

"Remember what I said on Thursday… nothing's going to happen to you, I promise."

"I know... we're in this together, huh Chris?"

"Together until the end."


	5. All or Nothing

Oh yes oh yes, one of the first chapters that I've been dying to write since, well, since I got the idea for this story months and months ago (it's an adaptation of a story I already wrote, to refresh memories lol…)

Oh and a big big thanks to Nina for guiding me over to her site (which you should totally join), where the actual triple threat match is posted for your viewing pleasure… and without which this would've been a pretty lame chapter lol. Thanks again, you rock...

Hope you guys enjoy...

* * *

Stephanie watched on in sheer enjoyment as Chris started to get the upperhand on Hunter. The match was barely getting started, but she knew that in order for her plan to work, she and Chris had to move fast. She was practically screaming out her support for her business partner, the adrenaline racing through her almost too much to handle… 

And yet it was nothing compared to the adrenaline her Canadian business partner was going through. Without a second thought, he charged at Hunter and clotheslined him straight out of the ring. Not satisfied and wanting to make sure Hunter would no longer be a problem, he was about to step out and do some more damage when Stephanie grabbed his arm.

"Chris, Chris, Chris!" She pulled on his arm, urging his attention back to her and the plan. Quickly she laid down and got on her back, motioning for him to cover her. They both tried to ignore the irony of the situation as he swiftly covered her, hooking her leg, even when he knew a simple cover would do.

_Damn all that teasing earlier… _

He watched the ref's hand come down for a three, but it wasn't meant to be. Hunter had already grabbed him by the ankles and yanked him clear out of the ring before he could get the three-count. He mentally cursed himself for not finishing Hunter like he had been planning on doing – he knew Stephanie was acting in haste, but being the ring general that he was, he knew he would have to be _smarter _than that…

Stephanie looked on with wide eyes as Hunter slid back into the ring. Realizing that Chris was still on the outside, she did the only thing she could do – she ran. Unfortunately, he was faster and grabbed her hair, pulling her back over to him. She could hear the fans screaming in delight, and then suddenly found herself being set up for the Pedigree. She wanted to scream, but the words that she wanted to say just wouldn't come out.

_Where are you, Chris? _

Just as soon as she thought that, she felt someone grab her by the ankles and pull her down, away from Hunter and the impending Pedigree she sure as hell didn't want to get again. She was immediately pulled out of the ring, and smiled in relief that it was Chris who had saved her. She put a hand over her racing heart, looking at him with a fond appreciation.

"Are you okay?" He asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Jesus Christ, I thought he was going to Pedigree me!" She said, sighing in relief.

The relief was short-lived when Hunter nailed a baseball slide on Chris, forcing the Canadian into Stephanie and knocking her down. He slowly got up, about to check on her when he felt Hunter grab him and throw him into the steel steps. He groaned and rolled onto his back, the pain shooting up his arm being nothing compared to the frustration that was starting to build inside of him.

The match was _not _supposed to go this long, he reminded himself, trying to regain his focus. He had to move quick, because the longer he took, the more time Stephanie had to be alone with Hunter…

Stephanie squealed as she felt Hunter throw her back into the ring. She half scurried and half crawled over to the corner, before turning and seeing the champion practically stalking her. She looked around frantically, looking for any sign of Chris, before realizing she was alone with her ex-husband. She shook her head, eyes wide with fear before trying to cover her face with her arms... she screeched when she felt him grab her hair (damn him for continuing to mess up her hair!), slowly pulling her up to her feet.

Her heart was racing at this point, and she would never admit it, but she was terrified of him at that moment… and a tad bit regretful that she had made this a Triple Threat Match to begin with. She closed her eyes momentarily, wondering when her savior would come…

_Where are you, Chris?_

Answering her silent call, Chris nailed Hunter from behind before he could put a hand on Stephanie. She warily leaned back a bit, a part of her slightly shaken, but much more confident now that Chris was there. She cheered him on as he pounded on Hunter against the ropes, before watching on in disbelief as Hunter caught him in midair and launched him towards the corner…

Straight towards her.

Chris saw it coming but he couldn't stop himself – it all happened too quick, too quick for him to do anything about it. He collided with Stephanie in the corner before falling flat on his back, dazed from the impact. But if he was dazed, then Stephanie was almost out on her feet from their less-than-graceful collision.

Her eyes rolled back into her head momentarily as she tried to fight the dizziness that was overcoming her. But it was too much, all of it was too much, and she fell forward…

Her face landing right into Chris's crotch, in yet another ironic moment…

If she didn't know what had happened, Chris crying out in pain was enough of an indicator of where exactly her face had just ended up… she forced herself on her feet, randomly wondering if that meant they would go their first night without sex that night _(damn that impact for making her lose her focus)_. She wasn't able to get her thoughts back on track before she felt Hunter kick her out of the ring.

She hit the floor, the pain subsided by a blind anger. How dare he just kick her to the curb like that!... in more ways than one too! Running on pure adrenaline, she got back up to see that her man had gotten the upper-hand on Hunter, that bastard…

Because, Goddamn it, if there was any a night that Chris Jericho was her man, it was on this night… and well, every night of the last week, she thought as she snickered, sliding back into the ring.

He was ruthless, and she could see the urgency he had to beat her ex-husband. Every move and kick aimed at Hunter's leg was malicious… God, it was turning her on to see Chris so… so _in control, _and she knew from experience that he liked to be in control…

He shot her a quick glance, trying to hide his smirk. He knew what she was thinking… he knew _that_ look on her face quite well. He quickly called her over so she could take his place and drop a few elbows on Hunter's bad leg, letting her vent out a little energy.

_Lord knows she needs to right now… _he thought, watching her drop her second elbow on Hunter. He snickered as she cried out in excitement, jumping up and down like she had just won the title or something. He let her have her moment before going back over to Hunter and tying him up in a leg lock, illegally using the ropes to his advantage while his partner-in-crime detained the referee.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye as he regained the upperhand on Hunter, trying not to get aroused by seeing her get so hot (that would be quite painful with his cup on)… he was tempted to lean down and tell Hunter that after he took back _his _title, he was going to celebrate by making his ex-wife scream _his _name until she forgot what the hell a _Hunter _even was…

She shot him a glance as he forcefully tied up Hunter's leg, smirking when she saw that he was using the ropes… her heart went into overdrive as she reminded herself that he liked to play dirty, in _everything _he did… if it weren't for the millions of people watching, God, she would just tackle him right there in the ring, rip both their clothes off (he was already halfway there), and then they could just…

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted when Chris ran right into her, effectively knocking her down, and hard. He looked down at her regretfully, wishing she weren't in the match. Hunter had shoved him off his leg with his good leg, and with a good force, so much so that he couldn't stop himself from running into Stephanie… _again_.

He had to give it to her though. She was tough… he sighed and reached down to her, helping her back up to her feet.

But she was only seeing red at this point. She was seething as she got up, completely unaware that what had just happened was an accident. As soon as she was back on her feet, she glared at Chris.

"Sorry Stephanie," He quickly said, pointing over at Hunter. "He shoved --"

He never got to finish that sentence before she slapped the taste right out of his mouth. The force made him turn almost completely around, and this time, it was his anger that was boiling over the top.

_Who the fuck does she think she is? _He thought angrily to himself as he turned back to face her. Not even thinking anymore, he shoved her down with one hand, his heart pounding heavily as he watched her fall on her ass.

Stephanie immediately got back up, yelling at him. They had to regain their focus, damn it, too much was on the line for them to start falling apart…

"Focus on him, Chris, _think about it!" _She screamed at him, while he glared at her, his emotions running in so many different directions… "_Get him, come on! Think about this!" _

He saw how flustered she was getting and motioned for her to calm down, inwardly telling himself to do the same. He had made a promise and he still had every intention to keep it, emphasizing this point to himself (and to her) as he hit his running bulldog on Hunter. Not missing a beat, he ran to the ropes and went to hit his Lionsault.

But the pain that welcomed him was a sign that Hunter had moved out of the way. He clutched his ribs in pain and fell back, groaning as he tried to roll over. Maybe if he could reach the ropes, he could pull himself back up…

He immediately felt someone cover him, and judging by the curled brown hair that he caught a glimpse of, he knew it couldn't have been Hunter…

_What the hell are you doing, Stephanie? _He wanted to scream at her, shove her, shake her even until she gave him answers… they were supposed to be a team! But he couldn't say a word, not after having the wind knocked out of him. He kicked out before the three (saving himself from utter humiliation), and stumbled back up to his feet before he turned to glare at her.

"What the _fuck, _Stephanie?" He snarled, frustration in his eyes… she was about to explain herself, explain how she just wanted to end this match as soon as possible and that even if she walked away with the titles, she would gladly lay down for him… but he didn't give her a chance. His temper had always been out of control, and this was one of those times when he truly lost that control…

"Chris --"

"You want to turn on _me, _you bitch?" He sneered. "You're fucking _nothing_ without me!"

If there was a woman that you shouldn't utter those words to, it was Stephanie McMahon. Having a temper that matched his, and wanting to knock the sense back into him, she reared back to slap him again.

But he knew her. He knew her so well, that he was already anticipating it. He caught her arm and glared at her… and in that one instant that their eyes met, she knew that he had reached his own personal breaking point. Her eyes widened when she realized that he was personally breaking off of her, but she didn't have time to digest this fact. She also knew him very well, and she knew what he was capable of doing to a woman…

She had just thought that he was no longer capable of doing anything to her. Looking into his eyes, which told one hell of a story, she knew that she was obviously mistaken.

He snarled and grabbed her legs, easily locking her into the Walls without a hitch. He told himself to lean back, to put some fire into it and make her _suffer, _he tried convincing himself that he wanted nothing more than to hear her writhe in complete agony…

But there he stayed, taking one too many seconds to contemplate what the hell he was doing before Hunter nailed him from behind. He growled, suddenly remembering that this wasn't a personal battlefield for him and Stephanie, this was his last chance at reclaiming the title that he loved…

Stephanie was lost in the whirlwind of what was quickly transpiring before her very eyes. She got up as quickly as she could, wanting to go over and just pull Chris aside and see what the hell was going on with them. They had had a plan, it was supposed to be perfect… but she was barely on her feet for that long before Chris missed a clothesline on Hunter (who ducked out of the way), and of course… ran right into Stephanie, knocking her back down.

Chris looked down at the fallen brunette, his initial concern overtaken by his anger… directed this time at Hunter. He immediately charged the champion, who easily sidestepped him and tossed him over the top rope, only further infuriating the Canadian who was definitely not having his best match, by no means.

Meanwhile, Stephanie layed in the ring, clutching her back and fighting back tears that were stinging her eyes. She told herself that the tears were from the pain in her back… she heard the crowd start up again, and glanced up to see Hunter slowly approaching her. She closed her eyes and fought against the pain as she felt him grab her once again by the hair.

_Where are you, Chris? _She instinctively thought, whimpering as she reminded herself that he was probably waiting this out… hell, he was probably going to _enjoy _whatever Hunter was planning to do to her.

He was probably done with her, she suddenly realized as Hunter once again set her up for the Pedigree.

_Oh God, _she thought to herself, remembering what would happen if Hunter pinned her. _Chris, I need you…_

He once again came in out of nowhere, hitting a missile dropkick on Hunter and saving her from her predicament. It was as if he truly could hear her… she sighed with relief, quickly rolling out of the ring to get away from Hunter… and Chris, for that matter.

But he didn't care. He had to end the match and end it _now, _he reminded himself angrily as he tried a succession of pinfall attempts on Hunter. He growled angrily when Hunter kicked out of each attempt.

"That was a _three!_" He yelled at the referee, before stomping angrily.

_What the hell do I have to do to end this fucking disaster? _

Deciding that enough was enough, he slid out of the ring and made his way over to the timekeeper. His temper still flaring, he grabbed the timekeeper and threw him to the floor with no regret and no mercy, before grabbing the two championship belts and throwing them into the ring. Knowing this game all too well, he also snatched up the steel folding chair and brought it back to the ring with him.

Earl Hebner immediately started yelling at him, before snatching his chair away. Chris watched as he went to put it outside of the ring, before picking up one of the belts…

Not knowing that Hunter also knew this game all too well, and had picked up the other belt…

The two turned behind Hebner's back and charged each other, both of them nailing the other with his respective belt. They both fell back, effectively almost knocking each other out.

Stephanie's eyes widened as she climbed back into the ring, taking in the situation as a flicker of hope coursed through her. She glanced at Chris, seeing that he was out of it but still slightly stirring, which eased her initial concern over him. Immediately using her McMahon senses, she went and covered Hunter to hopefully end the match already. Her mouth dropped in surprise when he kicked out, but she didn't have the time to mull over it.

She immediately scrambled over and covered Chris, hooking his leg and hoping he wouldn't lose it with her again.

_Why couldn't he just see that I was trying to help both of us? _

But he didn't get it because he kicked out. She growled angrily, and in much the same fashion that Chris had earlier, shouted at the referee.

"Come on, that was a _three!_" She cried out, unbelievably pissed at the moment. She was pissed that the match was still going on, pissed that Hunter was hanging on…

But even more pissed that Chris seemed to have turned on her…

She chose to focus this anger at the man who triggered this, who triggered _all _of this, her ex-husband… she motioned for him to get up, screaming at him to hurry up and get up while he struggled back up to his feet. She knew she was absolutely insane for doing this, but like Chris earlier, she was absolutely overcome with her rage and couldn't stop herself…

She ran back towards the ropes as she charged Hunter, not even knowing what the hell she was going to do to him. She immediately regretted it when he clotheslined the living hell out of her…

Chris saw this as he stumbled back to his feet, and anger once again blindly took him over. He wasn't supposed to let anything happen to Stephanie, and he vowed to make Hunter pay for hitting her like that. As soon as Hunter turned, Chris immediately took him down and locked him in the Walls. The screams from Hunter was music to his ears…

_Tap, motherfucker, just tap already…_

Stephanie would never know what came over her at this particular moment, when Chris undoubtedly had the match won. Her emotions seriously clouding her judgment, all she could think of was the audacity that Chris had in defending her _now… _now, when it was too damn late, _now _when he had already shoved her and put his hands on her himself…

Chris stumbled forward, letting Hunter go as Stephanie jumped on his back. Bewildered, he moved around a bit to regain his balance before angrily flipping her over in front of him. He looked down at her, his heart pounding as he screamed at her, asking her what the hell was wrong with her… if there wasn't a match going on, he would've screamed more… there were so many questions that needed to be answered…

Instead, he turned around, trying to get his head back in the game, but it was no use. Hunter was there, Hunter was focused, and Hunter had his number… Chris cursed Stephanie for being so… he couldn't even think of a decent word to describe a woman like her as Hunter nailed his Pedigree on him.

That would have been all she wrote had Stephanie not broken up the three count. Chris rolled out of the ring, dazed after having taken the Pedigree, leaving her all alone once again with Hunter. Stephanie stared at him, wondering the same thing Chris had asked her… what the hell was wrong with her?

She once again tried to run away from Hunter, but it was no use. He grabbed her and lifted her up for a Spinebuster and closed her eyes in fear.

_Where are you, Chris? _

That was the last thing that ran through her mind before he nailed his Spinebuster on her. And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he had to add insult to injury as he covered her chest with his _foot…_

And this time, Chris wasn't there to save her.

"Here is your winner… and _still, _the Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion… _Triple H!_"

Chris rolled over onto his stomach on the outside, regaining his focus as the words from Lilian Garcia almost seared into his soul. He looked up in disbelief, glancing at the fans who were going crazy in the audience. He didn't know how long he stared at them, despising each and every one of them with everything he had… try as he did, he just couldn't believe what was happening. But Triple H's music blaring through the arena speakers was confirmation enough…

Triple H had won, and that meant only one thing…

Stephanie was gone.

It was too surreal for him. He glanced up and saw the security guards already coming down to the ring, and he watched on, half in disbelief and half in admiration as Stephanie tried fighting them off. Something inside of him ached a bit when he saw the wild and devastated look in her eyes, but he couldn't move from his spot on the floor as he watched the security guards seize her up by her arms and start dragging her out…

"Na na na na…" Hunter's voice started on the microphone. Stephanie's eyes widened in disbelief as the entire arena started chanting the infamous chant that was only reserved for superstars who were never to be seen again. She shrieked incoherently and tried fighting off the security guards, but it was to no avail… angry tears of hate filled her eyes, hate for the fans, hate for Hunter…

But most of all, hate for Chris Jericho…

Chris closed his eyes on the outside and lowered his head until his forehead was resting on the cool mat outside, the chant from the fans overwashing him, rendering him unable to move… he wanted to scream at them all to shut up, wanted nothing more than to grab the nearest one and start beating the shit out of that fan…

But it didn't matter now, he reminded himself as he sighed heavily on the floor. The match was done… he and Stephanie had lost, and now, she was gone…

_Why did I have to make that promise to her? _

He was such a fool.


	6. Broken

He ignored the guilt coursing through him, ignored every last bit of it as he walked backstage, angrily shoving the curtains out of his way. He was tired, and he was sore, but he didn't care. He got looks from certain workers and wrestlers backstage, but he didn't give a shit. His breathing was slightly labored as he went over the match in his head. Every last move, every last action that had gone down in that ring ran itself over and over again repeatedly in the Canadian's head, and he just couldn't get it to stop…

She deserved it, he convinced himself. _She _was the one that turned on him, not the other way around. _She _was the one that slapped him, even when he tried to apologize to her for accidentally shove her down. How in the hell was he supposed to keep his promise when she would so blatantly turn on him like that?

And _then_, to add insult to injury, she had tried to _pin _him. He felt the guilt slowly dissolve and anger creep up into its place.

_She has some fucking nerve…_

His hands balled into fists as he walked down the hallways with a purpose. He felt someone reach out and grab his arm, but he angrily pulled away as he continued walking. He had to see her, he had to get some answers from her, or he was going to lose his sanity altogether.

Finally, he reached his destination: Stephanie's dressing room. There were three large security guards standing in front of the door, their arms all crossed over their chests. Chris walked right up to the one in the middle, looking up at the taller man, his teeth clenched.

"Is she in there?" He demanded in a cut and dry tone. The security guard looked at the man who was in front of him. The blonde wrestler wasn't that big, at least, not bigger than him, but there was a fire burning in the man's blue eyes.

"Yeah, she's getting her things."

"I want to see her, and I want to see her _now._" Chris said, his fists clenching tighter. There was no room for argument in his tone. One of the security guards on the side stepped forward, not afraid of this wrestler who was considerably shorter and half the size of guys he'd dealt with before. However, the guard who Chris was speaking to directly intercepted him with his arm.

"We can let him go." The man said, before moving aside so Chris could get by. The Canadian briefly glanced at him but didn't say a word as he immediately threw open the door to Stephanie's dressing room and stepped inside.

Stephanie was in the bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had a steel grip on the sink in front of her, willing herself not to cry. She would _not _go out without her dignity, no matter how much she loved her job… her grip suddenly grew tighter at this thought, and she took several deep breaths to regain her control. She heard the door to her dressing room tear open, and she sighed, taking one last look at herself in the mirror as she turned and left the bathroom.

"I said, I'd be done in a few minutes…" Her voice trailed off as she saw who had entered her dressing room. "What the hell do _you _want?" She demanded in a harsh tone.

"What the hell do _I _want?" He asked in disbelief, before stalking right up to her. "What the hell do I _want? _That's what you have to say to me, after what you did to me out there?"

"We were supposed to be a _team, _and you fucking turned on me!" She screamed, the bitter tears of hate coming back up to her eyes. "Or did you just so conveniently forget about our little agreement!"

His eyes darkened as he glared at her. "Don't you even _try _to put this all on me, you're the one that fucking _slapped _me out there! How the fuck do you _justify _that, huh? You ruined _everything_, Stephanie!" He snarled.

"Oh, _forgive me, _Chris Jericho," She said in a sweetly sarcastic voice, steeling herself and not letting her tears fall. "Forgive me, for ruining your precious title shot. It was all my fault that you didn't walk away champion tonight, and even at Wrestlemania, for that matter. Will you ever forgive me?"

"Goddamn it, Stephanie! You just don't fucking get it!" He screamed, running his hands through his hair as he started to pace. He was starting to lose his control, his heart pounding in his chest.

"No, _Jericho, _why don't you explain it to me!" She screamed back, making her way quickly over to her bags. She grabbed her things and started throwing them in, just wanting to get out of the arena. "Explain to me how this was my fault, tell me, lay all the fucking blame on me! Come on, let it out!"

"Alright, hmm, well let's see." He stated sarcastically. "You slapped me, you tried to pin me, you _stopped _me from making Triple H tap out, I mean, God, Stephanie! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"I was trying to _help _you!"

"You sure have a funny way of showing it! No wonder your marriage to Trips went to shit, you never get anything done right!" His temper was going over the top now, he could feel it and he couldn't stop it, not even after seeing the shocked look on her face that he would bring up such a topic. "I'm surprised he didn't kick your ass to the curb sooner, you're fucking worthless!"

She stalked right up to him and slapped him right across the face. He spun around from the impact, now giving her his back – which was a good thing for her, because she couldn't keep her tears from falling anymore. She saw him clench his fists and could see him almost shaking with anger, but he didn't move a muscle.

"I _hate _you, Chris Jericho." She said in a low voice, trying to control her voice as best as she could, but she could hear it cracking. He closed his eyes at the tone of her voice, letting her words wash over him, along with the guilt that he had been trying so hard to ignore.

She waited there for a few moments, moments that seemed like hours, and he knew what she wanted from him. He knew what she _needed _to hear from him. Hell, he knew that she honestly _deserved _the apology that she had coming, if not for the match, then definitely for his stupidity in the comments that he had just made. He bit his lip angrily, feeling her eyes on him, burning a hole through his back.

_Say it, Goddamnit! _He commanded himself. _Apologize!_

But the words just wouldn't come out…

Stephanie looked at him for a moment longer, her chest suddenly becoming very tight. She took a deep breath to regain her composure, almost breathing in his silence and finally seeing the truth. The two were done… she felt strange, feeling awkward being in the same room with him. She needed to leave, and she needed to leave now. The man who was standing before her wasn't the man she thought he was… she wondered if she had ever known Chris Jericho at all.

She immediately turned and marched over to her bags, lifting them quickly and silently leaving the dressing room. She ignored the guards, walking right past them as she headed over to the exit. The security guards were immediately on her heels, not about to let her out of her sight until she was out of the arena.

But she didn't care, she just needed to leave and get as far away from Chris as possible…

Chris heard her leave and he stood there for a moment. Suddenly, he turned and picked up the vase that was right next to him and heaved it against the wall. He watched as it shattered into what seemed to him to be a thousand pieces, before he collapsed on Stephanie's sofa, breathing heavily as tears stung his eyes. He felt like that vase, shattered into a thousand pieces… he angrily wiped at his unshed tears, before sighing heavily and leaning his head back on her cool, leather sofa. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, catching a hint of her perfume still in the air.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie…"

* * *

She had never felt like so much crap in her entire life. She had just lost everything, everything that mattered to her, was now gone with the wind. She sighed, and did the only thing that would make her feel better… 

She ordered another beer. One after another after another…

Several hours later, she was still there, sitting at the first local bar she had spotted and drowning her sorrows until she could effectively erase everything from her memory. And thankfully, it was working. She could feel the effects, could feel herself getting piss drunk, and it felt great…

_God it feels relieving to get fucking wasted again… _she thought to herself, before ordering yet another beer. The quicker she could drink herself into a stupor, the quicker she could forget about the horrendous night she had had.

"Hey babe," She heard a voice say as someone took a seat next to her. "Couldn't help but notice you sitting here, you're looking really good tonight…"

She glanced over at the man who was sitting next to her, rolling her eyes as she took another drink of her beer. She hadn't been to a bar in ages… well, not since she found out that Hunter wanted to divorce her. Yes, it had pained her to lose her husband… she sighed, wondering in her drunken state how she had gotten back to such a low point again, sitting at a bar like some pathetic joke of a person who couldn't own up to their problems.

"What's the matter baby, something on your mind? Talk to me."

"I'm not talking to you." She said, her speech slurred, wishing the man would just go away. She was not in the mood for this.

"Hey bartender, get us another round of whatever the lady's having, will you?" The man next to her said, making her groan loudly. Annoyed, she looked over at him. She tilted her head a bit as she gazed at him… if she squinted a bit, his brown hair looked a bit blonde…

"Thanks," the man said as he took the beers, before handing one to her. "So, you from around here?"

"Look, Mister," She said, her speech dragging. "I said I wasn't talking to you, I don't know you, would you please just leave me alone!"

"Aw come on." He said smoothly as he moved his stool closer to hers. "Such a hot girl like you, you're screaming for company…"

"I believe she said to leave her alone." Came a cold voice from behind. Stephanie immediately looked up, recognizing someone she knew all too well.

"And I believe that you weren't in this conversation." The man said, completely ignoring the fuming Canadian behind him. Chris watched the stranger offer Stephanie a smile, making him scowl.

But when the man dared put his arm around her shoulders, Chris lost it.

Stephanie watched with wide eyes as Chris grabbed the man's shirt from behind, practically yanking him off his feet. The man opened his mouth to ask what the hell was going on, but he never got the chance before he was savagely punched in the face.

"Chris!" Stephanie cried out, still very drunk but not that drunk that she couldn't grasp what her business partner… or former business partner… had just done. Everyone in the bar turned to look at them, but Chris just rubbed his knuckles for a brief moment as he sneered down at the man who had been putting the moves on Stephanie, before grabbing her by the hand and pulling her up out of her stool.

"Hey buddy --" Someone started, getting in front of him, but he was having none of it as he shoved the man out of his way. Everyone watched in silence as Chris led Stephanie out of the bar. It wasn't until they were outside that she pulled her hand away from him.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you!" She screeched, shoving him hard against his chest. He barely budged, just staring at her.

"How much did you drink?" He asked nonchalantly.

"What's it to you." She mumbled, trying to walk away from him. How she _hated _this man, she thought to herself, before almost tripping and falling on her face.

But he was there to grab her before she could fall.

"_I don't need your help!" _She shrieked, but his grip on her arm was unbreakable.

"Come on, I'm taking you back to the hotel, and that's not a question." He said rather bluntly as he pulled her over to his rental.

"I'm not having sex with you, Chris Jericho, if that's what you have in mind!"

He rolled his eyes. "Get over yourself, Stephanie…"

The ride over to the hotel seemed to drag for her, especially when he refused to speak another word to her. She leaned back in the passenger seat, her head pounding severely. She wanted nothing more than to sleep… but every time she glanced over at Chris, she was bombarded with a million and one questions to ask him, but if they weren't speaking, then she wasn't going to be the one to break the silence first.

And apparently he also had the same idea, because he was flat out ignoring her. He walked silently into the hotel as he practically hauled her over to the elevator. They stepped in together without a word. She watched him press the button to her floor and put his hands in his pockets, as she studied him. He was looking so good at that moment, that she forgot about the match as she approached him…

He was so busy staring at the floor numbers that he didn't notice how close she was to him until he felt her hand on his chest. He looked over at her, seeing a hungry look on her face.

"God Chris, you look so good tonight…" She said, rubbing his chest slowly.

"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying." He stated rationally, even though he made no motion to remove her hand off his chest. Ignoring what he was saying, she leaned into him, kissing the side of his neck.

"You're so hot…"

He grunted slightly, dazed as she kissed him. He couldn't help it – he still wanted her, even after everything that happened. He leaned back against the side of the elevator – but she was right there, kissing him, touching him…

"Stephanie, stop," he pleaded, but her hands were on his chest, rubbing him sensuously, and he loved it… she leaned in, teasing his lips with her own as she started rubbing the front of his pants with her thigh. He groaned, his eyes rolling back as he grabbed the back of her thighs and caressed them, pulling her tightly against him.

"But I don't want to stop," She said, continuing to rub against him. She could feel him getting aroused, and the lust was almost overbearing to her. "I want you…"

"No," He mumbled, trying hard to regain his senses, which she was completely dominating. "Stephanie, you're drunk…"

"I want you Chris, God, I love you…"

Those words snapped him out of it. He looked at her in disbelief as the elevator door finally opened on her floor. She was still trying to kiss him, and as much as he wanted her, he could not ignore what she had just said.

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her off of him, holding her at arm's length while he stared at her.

"You _what_?"

"I love you." She stated, looking back at him. They stayed this way for several minutes, both of them still flustered from the heat that ran between them as he just stared at her, his face blank. He searched her face, searched her eyes for any kind of truth to the sentence she had just spoken… but when a lopsided, drunken smirk came to her face, he knew that her words carried no weight with them tonight.

He let his breath out slowly. For reasons he didn't understand, this fact bothered him immensely…

She watched as his eyes darkened, before he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the elevator as he headed over to her hotel room. And he knew which room it was, because he had spent the previous night there. She wasn't satisfied with this though, wanting answers from him, and wanting them now.

She struggled to free herself from his grasp, but he wouldn't give. Finally, when they were in front of his door, he let her go. She was pulling when he let go, and this almost made her lose her balance.

He quickly steadied her. He couldn't help it, it was instinctive on his part. She was in his arms now, and it took all the will power he could summon to not start kissing the life out of her…

"Well?" She demanded, staring into his eyes and keeping him locked in her gaze. "I say I love you and you say nothing?"

"You don't mean it, you're drunk, you don't know what the hell you're saying --"

Stephanie felt something inside of her snap at this as she shoved him away from her. He watched as her eyes bristled with tears… "How can you say that I don't fucking _love _you?" She demanded, her voice getting louder. "How can you stand here after everything you said and did to me tonight and still fuck me over even after I tell how I feel about you!"

He was stirred by her emotion, but he maintained his ground, trying to be the rational one of the two. He was sober, he was sharp, and he did not want a guilty conscience when the sun rose the next day. And thus, he forced himself to bite his tongue and say nothing, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and finding her hotel key in there, the same key that he had so willingly used the night before.

_She won't remember any of this in the morning anyways…_

She watched in disbelief as he ignored everything she said. She could feel her heart breaking as she watched him silently unlock and open the hotel room door. Unknown emotions overtook her as she stared at him, not knowing when she had grown so attached, grown so fond of him…

She did the only thing she could do in this situation – she retaliated. Suddenly furious and unbelievably frustrated with the impossible man in front of her, she punched him as hard as she could in his chest, cursing that she didn't have the heart to punch his face. This caught him completely by surprise, forcing him to take a step or two back. He went to say something, something instinctively mean, but he stopped when he saw that her tears were flowing freely now.

"Stephanie…" he started, immediately moving toward her, but she was in her room in record time, slamming the door in his face for emphasis. He looked down, his heart suddenly aching as he remembered that she wasn't going to be at the shows anymore.

_No, I have to end it better than this…_

He waited for a few moments, contemplating what he should do. Finally, he took a deep breath and opened the door, silently closing it behind him. It was dark – she hadn't bothered turning on the lights. He didn't have a hard time finding her though… after all, all he had to do was follow the sobs that were coming from the bedroom.

She was sitting against the wall by the doorframe of the bedroom, crying uncontrollably with her arms wrapped around herself. He turned and the instant he saw her on the floor, leaning back against the wall, he felt the guilt finally hit him head on. The guilt he had been trying so hard to ignore, so hard to convince himself that he didn't deserve, it overtook him like a bolt of lightning.

In that one instant, he felt so low… not only had he broken his promise to her, but he had said so many things that he regretted. And now, here she was, on the floor, a broken woman.

And it was all because of him…

He dropped to his knees in front of her and did the only thing he could do – he pulled her into a tight hug. She immediately hugged him back, clinging to him as if for dear life, burying her face into the side of his neck. He could feel her tears on his skin, could feel her practically shaking in his arms… he tightened his grip on her, pulling her firmly against him.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie," he said, running one hand through her hair to comfort her. "I'm sorry…"

"Why don't you love me?" Came her choked response. He sighed but remained silent, until she pulled away from him. This time it was her turn to run her hands through his hair, letting one finger trace the details of his face… he didn't move a muscle, letting her touch him wherever she wanted as he just maintained his eye contact with her. "You're beautiful, Chris…"

He closed his eyes momentarily, before taking her hands in his own. Slowly, he lowered her hands away from his face.

He just couldn't do this. He could not and would not come forth and try to put into words the torment that she put him through… the torturing love that he had for her, the reason behind all of his guilt for her. He refused to do it, if she was just going to forget everything he said the next day…

"I have to go." He mumbled, reluctantly pulling away from her. He stood up, his hands shaking as he tried to smooth back his hair. "I have to go…"

"So… this is it?" She asked nonchalantly, even though fresh tears were already in her eyes. "This is it between us?"

He stopped at the door of her bedroom, legitimately torn for the first time in his life. He hesitated for a second too long for Stephanie's liking, because before he knew it, she was shoving him towards the door.

"What the fuck, Stephanie?"

"You don't leave _me, _Chris Jericho! If you don't want me, then get the fuck out of my sight!" She screamed, hitting him on his arms and chest while he tried grabbing her hands. "I _hate _you, I fucking hate you!"

"Fine," He said curtly. "You want me to leave… hell, you don't have to tell _me_ twice…"

With that, he shoved her hands off of him and ignored her screams, stalking right out of the room. He kept moving, not even bothering to take the elevator, opting to take the stairs down instead. Down one flight, and then another, and then one more… until he couldn't take it. He stopped at the landing, leaning against the wall, ignoring the overwhelming tightness that seized his chest…

_What the fuck just happened? _

Stephanie stumbled to the door, her head pounding as she flung it open quickly. She scanned the hallways, but he was gone.

_What the hell is wrong with me? Why would I send him away like that?_

"Chris!" She shouted, as if he would suddenly reappear and all would be forgiven. But it was not to be… he had left, but he was going to leave her anyways, she reminded herself bitterly. Sighing, she closed and locked the door, already feeling fresh tears stinging her eyes.

She had been ready to lose her job that night, but she hadn't been prepared to lose him…

Chris squeezed his eyes shut, slowly sliding down the wall he was leaning on until he was sitting against it, much like Stephanie had been earlier. He felt like such an idiot, if only he would've apologized earlier, maybe he could have avoided this disaster… he took a deep breath, wondering how the hell something that was supposed to come with no strings attached was tearing him apart, piece by piece…

And then, the way she had said she loved him. He wasn't prepared to hear it, but God, it was music to his ears… he shook his head, hating how pathetic he felt. But what he had to say, he had to say to her when she was _sober_, he tried to convince himself.

Oh, who the hell was he trying to fool? He knew he was a coward, everyone called him a coward… it was about time he started giving them a valid reason to do so, he thought bitterly to himself as he sighed, before saying the words he had known were true even before Stephanie's drunken confession…

"I love you too, Stephanie," he said in a shaky voice in the empty stairwell. He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "I love you too…"


	7. Answers

**A/N: **I still own nothing. So don't sue me, I am a broke soon-to-be-college student, I'm not worth a lot financially… not yet anyways lol.

And thanks again to Nina, who's always such a great help when it comes to details of these shows...

Enjoy…

* * *

**Smackdown: July 18th, 2002**

Chris raised the steel chair again as the crowd rained its boos on him. But that would not stop him on this night as he nailed the rookie John Cena with a steel chair. This wasn't satisfying though, it wasn't enough for him. He raised the chair and wailed at the rookie again, and again, and again, until his arms screamed for a break. A smirk came to his face as he looked down at the rookie at his feet, his heart still pounding from the adrenaline as the referees shoved him away from the fallen wrestler.

How fucking _dare_ they insult him this way, by booking him in a match with a _nobody _like John Cena, he thought bitterly to himself as he walked back up the ramp. He snickered at the fans show of hatred towards him, rolling his eyes as a group of fans by the guardrail shouted obscenities at him. But he was detached from the idiotic fans that stormed each arena each night. He had been detached since that night, roughly four months prior… and it would be a while before he could honestly say that anything would change.

The thought of the infamous triple threat match made his step quicken a bit as he walked through the curtains backstage. He forced the match, and its aftermath, out of his mind as he stalked back in the direction of his locker room for the night.

"Hey man, nice job on that punk out there."

Chris glanced over his shoulder and saw that Christian had approached him from behind. He waited a bit, before the two started walking together down the halls.

"I can't believe they actually booked me in a match against that kid." Chris mumbled to himself in disgust.

"Yeah, I know, you're above that."

"Seriously."

"You know Chris," Christian said knowingly, "you should consider a jump to Raw."

"Get the hell out of here man, why would I want to do that?" Chris said, rolling his eyes. "That show blows more than that rookie I just beat the shit out of…"

"It's just a thought, dude. Me, Lance, and Test were talking about it, and we're seriously considering it. And considering that you, our champion around four months ago, was just facing a rookie greener than green, well, maybe you should think about it."

"Whatever, junior…" Chris gave a wave with his hand. Christian shrugged.

"Like I said, it's just a thought."

"Have they announced who's going to be the new GM tonight?" Chris asked, running a hand through his hair. He knew his change of subject wasn't subtle, but he didn't care. He liked being on Smackdown – in his opinion, Smackdown was light-years ahead of Raw. And he wasn't exactly keen on working under Eric Bischoff again either.

He'd been there and done that already, and he hadn't really liked it all that much the first time…

"No, not yet. The show's barely underway. I did hear though that Bischoff's supposed to be here, which is awesome, cause then we can talk to him some more and maybe strike up a deal."

"Good for you, man, good for you."

"You should really think about it, Chris." Christian said, stopping in the hallways to glare intently at his fellow Canadian. "Come on man, you against Cena? It's not befitting for a world-class athlete like yourself, come on, you can do so much better."

"I know…" Chris sighed, a frown coming to his face. It did grate on his nerves that he was booked against a rookie, so much so that his quick temper had forced him to get disqualified and then beat the crap out of said rookie.

"Just think about it." Christian put a hand on Chris's shoulder, giving him a friendly squeeze, before he turned and walked away. Chris stood there, thinking silently to himself. The idea was a bit tempting – the last time he had even been on Raw, was four months ago. He closed his eyes as he remembered that triple threat match, cursing that it still bothered him.

And he refused to remember why, reminding himself that he needed to take a shower. He didn't want to dwell on the past, and he had done a good job of living in the present over the last four months. A damn good job at that. And what did he have to show over the last four months?...

A hell in a cell match… against Triple H.

That he lost… _again, _another loss to Hunter, as Chris officially went no wins, and around a thousand losses. He frowned at this and shook his head, not wanting to dwell on things. It wasn't healthy – thinking was never healthy, not for him, because he hated the things he'd start to remember… biting his lip, he forced himself to move. He continued on his way to his locker room, trying to clear his mind the entire way there.

* * *

He stepped out of the shower later that night, finally feeling as though his head was cleared. He wasn't due for anything else the rest of the night, so he figured he could just change and head out of the arena before the mad rush from all the fans beat him. And besides, he reminded himself rather bitterly… since he had _opened _the show, then he sure as hell could leave if he felt like it. 

He was busy getting dressed when Christian unexpectedly and rather unceremoniously barged into his locker room, startling the Canadian in the process.

"Holy shit dude, don't fucking do that!" Chris snarled, looking at the man in front of him in annoyance.

"Did you hear? They announced the new GM!" Christian exclaimed excitedly. Chris rolled his eyes and grabbed his _I Am Larger than Life _shirt, pulling it on over his head.

"Well?" He asked, pulling his shirt all the way down. "Who the hell is it? Wait, wait, wait…" He raised his hands, making Christian's words die at the tip of his tongue. Christian looked at him, amused, crossing his arms over his chest. "Let me guess…"

"You'll _never _guess…" Christian said with a smirk. He was so interested in seeing his friend's response, that he could barely contain himself. Meanwhile, Chris tapped his chin in thought.

"It's Shane, isn't it?"

"Nope."

"Hmmm… it's a wrestler then…" Chris mused to himself, running through a mental list of the Smackdown roster. Christian rolled his eyes.

"You had it kind of right the first time…"

"So it is Shane?" Chris asked curiously. "What do you mean, _kind of right_?"

"It _is _a McMahon…"

"Linda?" Chris scrunched his nose in confusion. That would be pretty boring to work directly underneath her, he had to admit…

"No…" Christian said as he walked over to the TV in his fellow Canadian's locker room, turning it on as Chris moved to stand next to him. His curiosity was now piqued. Christian grinned at the sight that welcomed the two.

Stephanie was on the stage, in a sharp business suit, looking as confident as ever as she gazed at the fans. She had a shining look in her eyes, feeling like she was on top of the world. She was _back, _she was back and better than ever, in complete control of Smackdown.

Of course, she would have much rather preferred to be handling Raw, where _he _wasn't wrestling…

But that moment was so good, it tasted so sweet, so much so that she just stood there, letting it all sink in. Sure, she personally still detested the fans for booing her and she would never forget that. However, she had to appeal to the fans now, and she was excellent at putting the past behind her…

Chris sat down heavily on the bench in his locker room. He was stunned, so stunned he was speechless. His mind was going a thousand miles an hour, he was just shocked. He couldn't help but stare at the screen in front of him… couldn't help but stare at _her…_

Christian turned and looked over at him, and he had to snicker at the look on his friend's face. It was the definition of surprise, yes – but there was something else in that look, something Christian couldn't put his finger on… and unfortunately, he had to run to meet Bischoff, but he was curious and wanted to see what was going on inside Chris Jericho's mind.

"You okay?" Christian asked. Chris blinked rapidly, before shaking his head, reminding himself of where he was. He nodded, a blank look on his face as he ran a hand through his still-wet hair. "Good," Christian nodded. "Cause I gotta run and talk to Bischoff."

Chris just nodded again as his eyes returned to the TV screen, not even hearing Christian's goodbye, or the door clicking shut behind him. He continued to stare for several moments, watching how confident the youngest McMahon carried herself. Slowly, a smile started to spread on his face.

She was back, and she looked happy. Somewhere deep inside of him, his ego was being soothed after that horrendous triple threat match, when he had been forced to watch her dragged off the show. His smile faded though, when he remembered everything that transpired between them afterwards. A scowl then took his face when he remembered that night back at the hotel…

That night… that night, that same night he wanted to just erase from his memory… he closed his eyes and sighed heavily, the relief of her being back suddenly overwhelmed by the memory of that painful night. He hadn't seen her since, hadn't heard a word from her since.

_Does she remember? _He wondered, opening his eyes then to look back at the screen. He bit his lip as he watched her, watched every move, every gesture… the question echoed again in his mind, the same question that repeated itself every night, the same question he always hesitated in silencing. He once again, out of habit, forced the question out of his mind as he stood up.

He had an old friend he needed to catch up with, after all…

* * *

Stephanie turned off the TV after catching a replay of John Cena's match against Chris Jericho. _Some_ _match_… she tried watching it with an air of indifference, but it was difficult. Every time she saw Chris, she remembered that night back in March… she knew they would speak, she knew they'd have some kind of encounter where they'd be forced to interact. She sighed, remembering the four long months that they had gone without a word between the two. No apologies, no notes, no calls, nothing… 

_What was I expecting? _She thought to herself, before going to sit down on her sofa.

Just outside her door, he was restless. _What the hell do I say? _He wondered, running his hands through his damp hair and over his face. He tried to think, but the cameraman that turned to him beckoned him to action. He wouldn't look like a fool in front of his fans. He took a breath, and then knocked on her door. He waited for a brief second, before thinking, _to hell with it_. He pushed open the door and headed on inside.

"Stephy, Stephanie… oh it's _so _good to see you again!"

Stephanie looked up, quickly masking her look of shock as she stood up to greet her unannounced visitor. He grinned at her and approached her, his arms wide open for a hug. She knew him though – she knew him quite well and could smell his insincerity from a mile away.

He tried not to look disappointed when she stuck her hand out to him, blatantly ignoring his outstretched arms. He lowered his arms slowly and took her hand in his, firmly shaking it.

They both ignored the heat that shot through them with this simple touch. Stephanie in particular felt the butterflies in the pit of her stomach, as she was transported back in time, when the feel of his hand on her was all that she had craved…

"It's great to see you again." She replied, her words carrying less enthusiasm than his had. He sucked at his teeth a little bit, but he ignored her tone as he covered her hand with his free one. He smiled a bit when he saw a familiar look in her eyes when he did this, and gave her hand a little squeeze…

"I just want to say congratulations on being the new Smackdown GM, Steph, I mean, out of all people that I would've chosen for the job, you're at the top of my list… I really, really mean that…" He then put his hands over his heart, smiling at her.

She took a breath at this, keeping her cool and confident aura about her, even when she could feel her heart start to quicken a bit by being so close to him…

"I can tell you mean that, Chris." She responded smoothly.

"I really, really do…" He replied, his smile still on his face. Her heart started beating faster, but she came equipped with McMahon genes… genes that she thanked God she had, genes that were helping her maintain her composure that she could _not _lose in front of the entire world – and surely not in front of Eric Bischoff of all people. This, thankfully, strengthened her resolve as she gave him a cool look.

"You've always been so complimentary to me, Chris."

"Well, you deserve it."

"You know, Chris," Stephanie started, "I feel as though you deserve compliments too."

"Me?" He mouthed silently, gesturing towards himself.

"You do… you know, I was watching the show and I was just _overwhelmed _by your unselfishness in giving up your match against Edge at Vengeance, I know how much you wanted it… and well, your generosity is so overwhelming, that I feel it deserves a _reward_…"

She knew what he would think of when she said that. She knew him well. He tilted his head a bit as he gazed at her, feeling an old and familiar heat start to creep up his body at her words… if the cameraman wasn't there, he would have thrown her to the wall and taken her on the spot…

She saw him gazing at her with intrigue, but the intrigue was really hers when she saw a familiar fire in his blue eyes… she decided that she could string this out a little further.

"Next week, I'm going to give you what you want…" She started, noting how he got a wide grin on his face at that point. "I'm giving you your match against Edge."

His smile faltered a bit. _What the fuck? That wasn't what I wanted and you fucking know it! _He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to demand answers. He wanted to shove her on her desk and make her scream his name, the way she used to do when he'd take her back to his hotel room…

Instead, he plastered a fake smile on his face, realizing in that moment that she was now his boss.

_Raw is suddenly looking appealing… _He thought to himself vaguely, in passing. He quickly forced the thought out of his head.

"Great, that's just what I was hoping for." He forced the words out of his mouth, wanting to gag on the inside at how fake they sounded to him. She seemed to accept this, although he caught the glint of triumph in her eyes.

He thanked her again, and she gave him a pat on the back. He ignored the feelings raging inside of him and congratulated her again, as she went to sit down and he stepped out of her dressing room.

"Shut the door." She stated from inside. He complied but couldn't keep the scowl off his face if he tried. Her _order _jabbed at him, at his pride, but especially at his heart…

"That _bitch_." He snarled as he walked off angrily, ignoring the pounding of his heart in his chest. How _dare _she come back and just start messing with him like that? After everything they had gone through, she just swooped back into his life and didn't even acknowledge a _damn _thing between them. He finally entered his locker room and plopped back down on the bench as he once again remembered that night…

_Does she remember? _He wondered again. This time though, he couldn't stop the questions from assailing him as he remembered that night. His anger was overwhelmed by the emotions of that night… that night, that damn night, he thought bitterly to himself. He closed his eyes and stopped walking, taking a deep breath.

_Does she remember what she said to me?_

_How dare she tell me to shut her door like I'm her fucking whipping boy!_

_God, she said she loved me…_

_She was fucking drunk though…_

_Did she really love me though?_

_I can't believe she's gonna be my boss now…_

_Does she remember what we had going?_

_She said she loved me and she did sound sincere… for someone who was drunk…_

_What if she doesn't remember?_

_A match against Edge! What a fucking joke!_

_If she did love me, does she still?_

He didn't know how much time had passed since his brief meeting with Stephanie. He hadn't known if he would willingly go back to talk to her after their… strange encounter, to say the least.

This last thought though, it did him in. He couldn't keep going without answers. He knew this particular question would bother him for a long time, too much time, if he didn't get it answered and answered immediately…

He knew what he had to do. Clenching his fists in resolve, he stood up and marched out of his room. He was a man on a mission, and he was going to get some damn answers, if it was the last thing he did…

She glanced up from the sofa, more than startled at her door practically slamming off its hinges. Her breathing returned to normal when she saw who it was.

"What is it now?" She demanded, gathering her things to leave for the evening. She glanced back up at him, but she couldn't read the expression on his face…

"Do you remember?" He asked bluntly, burning a hole through her.

"Remember what?" She shot back, wondering when it had grown to be so hot in the room. She saw his brows furrow together in anger as he slowly stalked over to her.

"That night, after I found you at that bar…"

She laughed hollowly at the memory. "Yeah, I remember that night, that was the night you broke a certain promise to me, right, Jericho?" She zipped up her bag with a bit of emphasis, not catching the brief glint of hurt in his eyes while she did it.

"Stephanie…"

"What? Are you going to deny it? Weren't you the one that called me fucking worthless afterwards?" She demanded as her voice started to escalate. She didn't want to be near him, she needed to deal with him only for business purposes, not for these kinds of things… It was all so much easier when that camera was on them, binding them and forcing them to be cool…

He stayed silent, not prepared to deal with the actual aftermath of the match itself… he had been too distracted with their exchange at the hotel to remember anything except those three words she had uttered to him.

"You come out here wanting a fucking _hug _of all things!" She stated in disgust, as he continued to approach her. "Well you know what, Chris Jericho, if you want to forget about what we had, then, then I'll…" Her voice trailed as he finally stood right in front of her.

"You'll what?" He challenged, eyeing her carefully as he tilted his head. "You'll what, Stephanie? You're the one that turned on me in that match… but," He relented when he saw the dangerous look in her eyes. "I did make you a promise…"

"And you _broke _it." She reminded him, trying to keep her eyes on his, and not letting them stray anywhere else…

"But Princess," he stated, licking his lips. Stephanie suddenly forced herself to breathe. "I already apologized for that… do you remember?"

She closed her eyes at his question. Yes, _yes, _she wanted to scream at him, strangle him even… of _course _she fucking remembered that night! She remembered his apology, and most importantly, she remembered her bold confession…

She opened her eyes, only to see that his face was now mere inches from hers. She was dazed by him, trying to look him in the eye, but his eyes were set on her lips… lips that were now only centimeters away from his own. She could feel his breath, she could feel the heat that radiated from him, the heat that was threatening to overtake her at any second…

"Do you?" He asked again in a low voice as he leaned forward to graze her lips with his own. Stephanie felt a shiver run down her spine, her knees suddenly feeling extremely weak. "Tell me…" He whispered, trying not to make it sound like a desperate plea.

"Chris…"

This was all the invitation he needed before he kissed the life out of her, not able to take it anymore… he wrapped one strong arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, not believing how much she had missed this… this contact, this passion… how much she had missed _him. _He moved to her neck, leaving her breathless and barely able to gasp his name as he backed her up, the two falling together on the sofa.

She could feel him, God, could she feel him… she started rubbing against him as she sucked on his bottom lip, her hands sliding up his shirt, teasing her touch over his muscles. His eyes rolled back at this – she was so intoxicating to him, he wanted her, he wanted her so bad…

But he couldn't… he reluctantly pulled away, trying to calm himself down as he gazed down at her. Her face was flushed from the heat… he wanted to just rip their clothes off and take her right there, do it with her until the sun rose the next morning, but he needed answers…

"Stephanie…"

She watched as he took her hands in his and looked down at her. She could see lust swirling in his eyes, proof of his desire for her to add alongside the physical proof she could feel… she shivered underneath him, wanting him, all of him…

"Chris…" She started, gazing up at him and trying not to sound like she needed this as badly as she did. "Chris, please…"

"Do you remember what you said to me that night?" He asked, forcing his body to stay still, even though he could feel himself shaking…

Yes… she remembered what she said. She also remembered the silence she got from him in return. She remembered the doubt… he turned her away that night. She wanted him, and he turned her away. And then she had needed him… and he again, turned her away. No – he had _left _her, even after she bore her heart out to him… she closed her eyes at the pain this memory brought to her, pain that was quickly overwhelming her physical desire for him…

Pain that she didn't need to relive again, she suddenly concluded.

"No," She choked out, "no, I don't…"

She didn't think she sounded convincing. She opened her eyes to sneak a look at him, but he had his eyes closed, a few strands of hair hanging down in his face. She reached up to him and ran a hand through his hair, making him sigh heavily as he looked back at her.

_So I was right all along_, he mused silently to himself… _of course I was right, she was drunk off her ass_, he reminded himself bitterly.

_Thank God I never told her how I really felt about her_… it would've all been for naught, since she didn't remember that night in the first place. He suddenly pushed himself up, ignoring the lust that had overtaken him.

"You don't remember anything you said?" He said, standing now as he watched her. She sat up, glad for the distance that gave her a clear head. She took a deep breath as she regained her composure, before she stood up to face him.

She took him in… his face was still a bit flushed and he had a few strands of hair that were still in his face. She looked him over, before looking back into his blue eyes. Those same eyes that she had looked into that night back in March, those same pair of eyes belonging to the man that she loved, the man who had left her… broken his promise to her, turned away, and left her… she took a deep breath, reminding herself again that she could take a hint, and his had been loud and clear.

She didn't need pain.

She didn't need _him._

"No." She repeated again, more confidently this time. "No, I don't. Why?" She asked, watching him close his eyes. "What did I say?" He stood in silence, willing himself to keep his calm as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Chris?" She prompted, hoping he'd say something meaningful about that night…

"It doesn't matter." He mumbled, looking down at the floor. He felt an aching deep inside of him, but he needed to stay strong. "It doesn't matter…"

"Yeah," she said, feeling incredibly disappointed. "I'm sure it doesn't…"

They stood in a tense silence – the tension was thick, and it threatened to envelop them. Stephanie cleared her throat, ignoring the lump she felt in said throat as she gazed at him. But he refused to look up, casually kicking at the floor with his shoe.

"Well… I need to go." She stated, hating how insecure her voice sounded.

"Don't let me stop you." He responded in an even tone. She sighed and lifted her bag, walking past him to the door. She hesitated a bit at the door, glancing back at him with longing. When he didn't even look in her direction, she sighed and left.

He ran a hand through his hair, before plopping down on her sofa… the same sofa where he had had Stephanie at his whim, just minutes before. He sighed and covered his face with his hands as he leaned forward, the tightness that seized his chest overwhelming to him.

If only she would have said it, he thought wistfully. If only she hadn't been drunk. If only he wouldn't have left her that night. If only, if only, if only… he laughed softly to himself, before groaning as he leaned back.

He still loved her… as much as it killed him to admit it. He may have been a fool, but he couldn't help the way she made him feel. He couldn't help that he wanted more than a physical relationship. He couldn't help that he had fallen for her… that he loved everything about her – her smile, her laugh, her scheming, her confidence, all of her, just _her_.

He loved her… but this kind of relationship, this hot and cold, on and off relationship, this wasn't his style. He knew this… he knew this very well.

All of a sudden, a jump to Raw didn't sound like such a bad idea after all.


	8. Something More

**A/N: **Sinch owns the song "Something More." WWE owns these characters that I use to my own twisted delight. I own nothing … enjoy.

* * *

**Smackdown: July 25th, 2002**

Chris Jericho was and had always been impulsive his entire career. When an opportunity even glanced in his direction, he snatched it and ran with it all the way. Sometimes, his quick calls to action backfired and blew up in his face, but more often than not, he could make a new situation work for him. When reality had finally slapped him in the face three years prior, forcing him to realize that he was on a first-class trip to nowhere in WCW, he didn't hesitate to explore his options. A week later and he was already in negotiations with Vince McMahon – another week of embarrassing WCW booking after that, and he knew deep down that the WWE was going to be his new home… sooner rather than later.

It was a gamble at the time, he had to admit. There was no guarantee that things would be better by heading over to the competition, no matter how much Vince tried to convince him otherwise. Chris had gone through these things many times before, and he knew success wasn't and could never possibly be a guarantee. But he liked a challenge, and he liked taking chances – that's just the kind of person he was.

And after becoming the first Undisputed Champion in wrestling history and main-eventing Wrestlemania, the pride gem of anyone who ever stepped inside a squared circle, he could say that the gamble had sure as hell paid off – in vast degrees, no less.

Three years after that life-changing decision to come to the WWE, Chris Jericho once again found himself at a crossroad in his career. Granted, at first he had been hell-bent on remaining on Smackdown, but with things going down the way they had with Stephanie… he had decided to play it smart and at least give the competition a chance to win him over.

_A simple conversation couldn't hurt anyways, _he thought to himself as he agreed to meet with Eric Bischoff.

That is, unless the man in question has a good reason to get away from the brand he used to love.

For Chris, that one reason could be summed up in two words… _Stephanie McMahon. _Eric could have offered him a #1 spot on Heat, and Chris probably wouldn't have given it a second thought. After all, if it gave him a chance to get away from _her, _then he would take that chance and run with it, like he always did.

And just like that, with just a flick of a pen and not a moment's hesitation, Chris Jericho became the hottest new commodity of Raw.

He opened the door to the arena in what he knew would be his last Smackdown appearance for a long time to come. Maybe he would never wrestle on the blue brand again… not like he honestly cared anyways. But he would be lying if he said he wouldn't miss it. How could he not? He had many fond memories wrestling for Smackdown fans… as much as that killed him to admit. He frowned as he chewed his gum and slowly treaded inside the arena, where the show was already underway.

* * *

_Smackdown's loss is Raw's gain. See you tonight!_

_Love,  
Eric_

Stephanie read the card that came attached to the vase, her mouth dropping as she saw the name that was signed on it. Frustrated and not one for keeping her temper in check, she seized the vase the flowers came in and heaved it to the wall, cursing Eric Bischoff to hell as she wondered who the hell the man had talked to this time.

_Kurt?  
Rock?  
Hogan?  
Edge?  
The Undertaker? _

… Chris?

No, she quickly concluded. Chris had been sorely misused and mistreated when he worked for Eric Bischoff the first time around. There was no way it could possibly be him, especially with the many times during their business partnership when he had shared his WCW experiences with her. She had felt his frustration and bitterness that he wasn't given a fair chance – it was as plain as day. She sighed, feeling a bit relieved as she convinced herself that he would stay on her show.

But if it wasn't him, then who was it?

* * *

"Did you do it?" 

"Did _you_?"

"Hell yeah I signed man! Are you kidding me? Raw needs more Canadian manpower, we ALL signed, dude!"

"Who else signed?"

"I signed, and so did Test and Lance, now come on man, did you sign? Huh? Did you?"

Chris nodded as he continued wrapping up his wrists with tape, not even bothering to look up. This didn't deter Christian, however, who immediately beamed with delight and startled Chris by hugging him in joy.

"Dude! It's like a TOTAL Canadian invasion of Raw!"

"Yeah," Chris said, forcing a smile on his face as he patted Christian on the back. "Yeah, I guess so huh?"

"Man," Christian let Chris go and plopped down next to him as Chris went back to taping his wrists. "I tell you, I'd rather work for Bischoff than Stephanie. I mean, Stephanie of all people! She's totally screwing us all over dude." Chris just nodded, keeping his eyes down and not realizing he was taping his wrists a little tighter. "_Especially _you, CJ, I mean, she comes back and just throws you into a steel cage match against Edge."

"Wait, say what?" Chris asked, legitimately surprised. "I thought it was just supposed to be a one-on-one match, no stipulations or nothing fancy about it?"

"Nope, hate to break it to you… I saw the list man, it's a sanctioned cage match. Hell, the cage is hanging above the ring as we speak." Chris sighed heavily and went back to taping his wrists, a scowl on his face. "You nailed it last week when you called her a bitch, huh? Am I right or what?" Christian laughed and patted Chris on the shoulder.

Chris finally ripped off the tape with his teeth, his scowl only deepening. And yet, he didn't say a word.

* * *

Stephanie was getting frantic. Time was against her as she tried figuring out who Eric Bischoff was trying to steal straight from under her nose. So when Stacy had told her that Eric probably got Edge, needless to say, she almost had a heart attack and immediately ordered security to find Edge and stop him from leaving the building. 

When they had finally notified her that they had found him, she immediately charged over to where they were. At the sight of him, she sighed in relief as she instinctively went into business-mode with him. If he was going to leave, he at least had to hear her out, hear his other options… she was so busy pitching herself to him that she almost didn't catch what he said.

"I am Smackdown through and through. I trust you, and I trust your vision for Smackdown…"

At these words, Stephanie was overcome with relief. Good, so it wasn't Edge. She was so tempted to leave at this point, but she had to make sure Edge wasn't going anywhere, and that meant at least hearing him out and making him happy.

"Alright? I think your vision for Smackdown is gonna _rock!" _He flashed her his grin for reassurance, and she nodded, trying to seem like she cared, even though she was still wondering who was in cahoots with Eric.

"It will." She agreed. She tried not to look annoyed as he then proceeded to take her over to the production truck, wanting to show her a video of some kind.

_This better be important, _she thought to herself as she watched. _I need to be convincing someone to stay on my show right now, not dawdling around with you all night. _When a clock appeared on the screen, she looked back at Edge, silently demanding an explanation.

"It's a countdown between now and the end of the show," His grin grew just a bit. "Cause by that time, I'm gonna get Chris Jericho in a steel cage, and I'm gonna beat his ass!" Stephanie kept a cool and unbiased look on her face, ignoring the fact that her heart had skipped a beat at _his_ name. She suddenly wished she had left while she had the chance… "And you wanna know what's the best part about it?"

"What?" She asked, trying her best to sound interested. She hoped it was working. By the look of Edge's wide grin, she was looking successful.

"I'm gonna do it on _Smackdown!"_

She tried not to roll her eyes as Edge commanded the people in the production truck to keep the timer running the rest of the show. Her initial fear of having Edge being the one to jump to Raw was gone, but she still had a show to run and a million and one things to take care of…

* * *

Chris was sitting on a steel crate, his CD player in his hands, headphones on and his eyes closed as he listened to some lyrics that were sending chills down his spine… 

_The worst is yet to come  
So vulnerable and dumb  
Say the words, and I'll dissolve _

Tell me how long this should last  
I've been forgetting how to act  
And these memories will burn like gasoline

And I believe there's something more  
Cause this isn't what I've been looking for  
And if I blink my eyes  
I'm afraid I might miss some of it

_This makes no sense  
A mirage of an oasis  
And it kills my time  
_

He sighed and stopped the song from playing, opening his eyes to look down as the CD stopped spinning. He swapped it out with his own Fozzy CD, before running a hand through his hair.

He needed this to end already.

* * *

"I am a MUCH better General Manager than Bischoff!" 

Stephanie angrily ended the voicemail that she was leaving Kurt Angle as she scowled to herself. When Marc Lloyd had told her that Kurt was overheard talking to someone named Eric, she had about lost it. She couldn't afford to lose someone the caliber of Kurt Angle, he was one of the best in the business, and he represented a vital part of Smackdown.

She sighed, telling herself she had to calm down. The last thing she needed was to go off on someone and have them run right over to the competition. Deciding she should walk to calm down and think rationally, she began walking down a random hallway. Try as she did though, she couldn't help the overwhelming sense of frustration that she was feeling. It was gnawing at her that she didn't even know who it was.

After a few minutes of walking, she found her thoughts going back to Chris. She had tried hard all night not to linger on what had happened between them the week before. She brushed the thoughts out of her mind as she continued walking, wondering vaguely if Kurt would call her back.

And then, she saw him. He was in his Fozzy shirt, headphones over his ears with a look on his face that she couldn't quite decipher. She brought her hands together and willed herself to calm down. She knew there was little to no chance that he'd jump… so why did she have an aching feeling deep down just by seeing him? She took a deep breath, and willed herself to action as she approached him.

He knew she was there before she even said a word. But he couldn't bring himself to turn off his CD player quite yet, having swapped the first CD back in… the words just burned into him, speaking to him…

_Try to remember what I sought  
I never gave it that much thought  
Does it really matter at all? _

Cause there really is no time  
For opening up my eyes  
Cause you know I've seen it all before

"Chris," she started, looking at him warily as he turned and made eye contact with her. His eyes held no emotion, and she suddenly felt empty inside. But she was the GM, she was a strong-willed person, and so she continued. "I've been looking all over for you… I'm sorry, I know you've got a lot on your mind, what with the cage match tonight and all… and I don't know if you've heard about Kurt, and you know, no one can find him, and they say Eric Bischoff is here in Indianapolis, and…"

God, she was rambling. Why was his gaze unnerving her like this?

"You know, as one of my biggest superstars here on Smackdown, I just have to know… are you happy here?" She asked, looking at him for reassurance.

"Am I happy?" He echoed, silently wondering why she was asking him such a stupid question as he stopped his CD player. Of course he wasn't happy, did she really feel the need to put him on the spot like this?

"Yeah, are you happy?" she repeated, hating how insecure she was sounding. She was supposed to be confident, sure of herself, calm and collected like a McMahon should be. But she just needed reassurance from him, she needed to hear him say that he wasn't going anywhere…

"Stephanie, I'm ecstatic," he answered, struggling to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "Why wouldn't I be? Fozzy's new CD is coming out next week… you want a copy?" He handed her the copy he had been listening to earlier.

"I'd love one…" she replied, taking the CD from him and ignoring the growing sense of impatience rising inside of her. He still hadn't said what she needed him to say…

"You can have that one. Best of all, time is running out for Edge… tonight I'm gonna leave him laying in a pool of his own blood!" She tried to keep the look of delight off her face at this, but that was easier said than done. He stood. "And that makes me very, very happy."

He walked off, wondering why he had chickened out. Deep down, he knew she deserved to know the truth…

Stephanie watched him walk away, and sighed in relief. She was just going to have to trust him, trust that he wasn't planning on jumping ship.

Because even after everything that had gone down between the two of them, she still trusted him…

* * *

"You know what Kurt," Stephanie seethed as she left him another voice mail. "At _least _Brock Lesnar had the common courtesy to tell Bischoff that he was leaving _to his face! _I would also like the same courtesy! Regardless of what you decide, I expect you to come back to this arena and tell me what you've decided to my face!" And with that, she angrily closed the phone. 

"Damn it!" She growled, wondering where the hell he was that he couldn't even answer her calls. Was he ignoring her on purpose? This thought served to only further infuriate the youngest McMahon.

"Stephanie," Stacy said nervously, before the GM spun her angry gaze at her.

"What is it!"

"The main event is starting, in case you wanted to see it… it's the first cage match we've ever had on Smackdown…" Stacy said warily, bracing herself for a tirade of orders from her boss.

At the mention of the cage match, Stephanie's anger substantially subsided as her thoughts returned to Chris. She nodded to Stacy and went off to find the nearest monitor, to get a glimpse of this match… she was supposed to be unbiased, sure, but she couldn't help it if she had a clear choice for a winner in mind.

* * *

Chris hung onto the top of the cage, swinging for just a moment before he let go to fall on the outside. He looked up at the triumphant group that stood in the ring as he caught his breath. He cursed loudly and slammed his hands on the announcer's table behind him, cursing that he lost, cursing that the team of Rey Mysterio, that stupid rookie John Cena, and his rival Edge had gotten the better of him, even though the Canadian trio of Test, Christian, and Lance had come to his aid. 

He ran a hand through his sweaty hair, as he slowly began the long and agonizing walk to the back, ignoring the jeers from the fans… he ignored all of it, ignored the pain his body was racked in from that hellacious battle he had just survived with Edge. A battle that was apparently all for naught, since he still lost the match, he thought bitterly to himself as he headed towards the back, the last time he would ever do so in a Smackdown arena…

Stephanie sighed at the look on his face once he dropped to the outside of the cage, knowing he was getting frustrated. She gave herself a mental note to talk to him later and make sure he was _really _happy about the way things were going… feeling the camera suddenly on her, she turned to the person next to her who was watching the match – Konnan.

"So, can you fly like Mysterio?" She asked in a lame effort to save face for the camera as Konnan glanced at her, grinning.

"Off the top of the cage like he did? Of course! That was pretty awesome huh?" She was about to agree when Stacy came up to them, slightly out of breath. Stephanie raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Eric Bischoff's in the parking lot!"

That's all Stephanie needed to hear as she charged off in the direction of the parking lot, cursing that she had forgotten this little game of cat and mouse that Eric was playing with her. She was supposed to be focused, not letting herself get distracted by… her thoughs trailed as she suddenly ran a little faster, until she burst through the doors that led outside. Her eyes quickly scanned the arena, before she spotted the limo in question. She marched on over, already seething and yet part of her wondering if someone was in that limo with him…

"Bischoff!" She screamed, heading over to the limo. "Get the hell out of here!"

"Stephanie! Great to see ya, _Steph, _did you get my flowers? Huh?" He demanded as he rose from the sunroof. He smirked as Stephanie glared at him, wanting to just smack that smirk right off his face. "Did ya read my card, Steph? I told you, Smackdown's loss would be Raw's gain! We knocked you out baby, with a jab and an uppercut, and boom! You're out for the count!" He started laughing. "I'll see ya on Raw, make sure you catch it, Steph!"

Stephanie watched in silence as the limo pulled away, cursing her luck and not able help the feeling that Kurt was in that limo with him. She tried to think, tried to come up with a plan, when she heard a voice from behind her.

"What the heck was that all about?" Her eyes widened as she placed the voice, before she turned to confirm her suspicions. Relief washed over her when she realized she had been right.

"Kurt!" She exclaimed, the relief apparent in her voice. "You're here!"

"Well yeah, this is Smackdown." He said as he looked at her in confusion.

"Yeah but… you were talking to Eric, and I called you so many times, and I just thought…" Her voice trailed as he looked at her in surprise.

"Yeah, you know, my _brother_ Eric, and I also turned my phone off because I was pissed about all that crap with Lesnar." He rolled his eyes, and Stephanie smiled. He wasn't going anywhere, and this was such a tremendous relief. But then, realization hit her hard as she turned to look after Bischoff's limo.

"Kurt, if you weren't in that limo… then who is?"

* * *

Chris sat in one of the seats in the empty arena as he watched the workers take apart the ring before him. He couldn't take his eyes off the sight, watching as they systematically dismantled the squared circle where he had been fighting roughly an hour before. He sighed heavily as he leaned back in his seat, his arms outstretched on the seats next to him and his feet kicked up on the seat in front of him as he continued to watch. 

This was it… his time on this show was done. He wanted to enjoy the peace that lingered in the arena, wanted to relish this moment and engrave it into his memory forever. He quickly scanned the empty seats, wondering when was the last time he had seen the arena from a fan's perspective.

But he wasn't the kind who gave two craps about the fans. The fans never appreciated the amount of work he put in that ring, in his profession, in his craft. He closed his eyes, telling himself that this was for the best. He needed to leave, he needed to move on. Raw was his key. Like all things in his life, it was a gamble to leave, but he couldn't help but feel he was going nowhere on the blue brand…

And he just couldn't stand being around _her_ for another week, knowing he would never have her… at least, not the way he needed to have her. When reality was that clear, change was the only thing to make the pain go away.

Stephanie watched him sitting there for a moment. After someone on the ring crew had informed her that one of her own wrestlers was refusing to leave the arena, she had to find out who it was. She was moderately surprised to see that it was Chris, and she couldn't help but smile when she saw him. He wasn't the one in the limo, he was going to stay… maybe not stay with her per say, because that was obviously not what the man wanted, but at least she'd be able to see him every week. She quietly made her way over to him.

His eyes were closed, his head was leaned back while he quietly chewed his gum, before feeling someone take a seat next to him. He didn't even have to move to know who it was…

"It's a nice view from here, isn't it?" Stephanie asked quietly as she watched the ring crew hard at work. "Makes me wish I was just a fan again."

"I know the feeling." He mumbled, popping a bubble with his gum, but otherwise not moving. She leaned forward as she rested her chin in her hand, watching the crew work in admiration. They stayed in this comfortable silence for a few moments, before she sighed heavily. "Sometimes, I wish I hadn't taken this job as GM."

"How come?" He asked, his eyes still closed. "You seem to have a knack for it."

"Yeah right," she forced a laugh. "That's why I'm over here wondering who the hell Bischoff just stole from my show." He winced at the words, suddenly feeling the guilt he had been trying to ignore the entire evening. He lifted his head and shifted in his seat, looking at her, but her gaze was locked on the ring crew. She seemed to not even notice his movement. "Some GM I make, huh?"

"Don't say that." He said before he could stop himself. "You're doing a really great job, I'm sure you'll turn this show around."

She smiled at this comment, before patting his knee as she stood up. "Thanks for the reassurance, Chris." She said as he stood up with a heavy sigh. He couldn't even bring himself to answer her as he looked down at the floor, before bending down to pick up his duffel bag. "You want to get out of here, or are you planning on moving to Indianapolis for good?"

_Guilt has never sucked so bad_, he thought idly as he followed her out of the arena. She already had her things and was ready to go, the two being the last ones to leave aside from the workers who stayed to clean up.

"Chris, I've gotta ask," she said as they headed into the parking lot. "Have you by chance heard any of the guys talking? You know… some people not being happy?" She hoped she wasn't being too obvious, but by the sideways glance he gave her, she didn't think it worked…

"Are you asking if I know who's jumping ship?" He asked bluntly, popping another bubble with his gum. "Because if you are, I do know who it is." Those words were like the needle scratching off the record for Stephanie as she stopped in her tracks and looked at him, her eyes wide.

"You know? Who the hell is it, Chris?" She demanded, trying not to sound pleading as he stopped and looked at her, his heart aching a bit.

"Test, Christian, and Lance." He answered, before looking down to spit out his gum on the ground. "Christian's the ring-leader behind their jump, but they already signed."

Stephanie closed her eyes and sighed, shaking her head. That was a blow all right – Christian and Lance specifically were the Tag Team Champions. She cursed under her breath, wondering why they wouldn't be happy on her show, wondering why she hadn't noticed this before… she looked back up to Chris to ask him why they were leaving, but she never got the chance since he kissed her as soon as she opened her mouth. She cried out in surprise against him, but he backed her up against a car, dropping his duffel bag and not breaking his kiss with her…

He needed this. His hands were trembling from needing this so bad. He felt her hands through his hair, on his back, all over… to hell with love, he thought bitterly to himself as he expertly explored her mouth… if she didn't love him, he sure as hell couldn't do anything about it. For all he knew, this would be the last time he'd ever get to touch her, because when she saw him on Raw, she would probably never speak to him again…

He could deal with her hate. It would take away the pain from not being able to have her love…

She gasped his name and pulled him closer, not caring that they could be caught in any second as both of their hands worked at undressing each other. She didn't know when they had become so daring as to do what they were about to do in public, but God, she hadn't felt him in so long, and all this did was further show her that he was going to stay on Smackdown…

He grabbed one of her legs and lifted her up a bit as she clung to him tightly, both of them not caring about the risks, not caring about anything other than having each other, only each other… he bit his lip, closing his eyes as he felt her once again, not letting himself feel guilty by doing this when he knew full well that he wasn't going to be back the following week… it was obvious that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her, and this helped soothe his guilty conscience…

Four months… four months since she had had him like this. All thoughts about being GM left her, every thought left her when she felt his lips on her, his body heat driving her crazy, while his expert movements against her made her about to lose her mind altogether… she gripped him so tightly through his t-shirt, she was surprised he wasn't in pain, but he didn't seem to notice or even care as he continued his rhythm with her. He wanted her to remember this, he himself wanted to burn every last detail into his memory…

"God, Chris," She moaned, not able to get enough of him as she leaned her head back, making him instinctively start kissing her neck as they continued moving their hips together. He loved kissing her, he loved doing this with her, he just loved _her_… he buried his face in the side of her neck, smelling her shampoo as he closed his eyes, his eyes that were burning with tears…

Their hot breaths mingled together as their grips on each other finally loosened a bit. Stephanie was grateful that he was still pressed against her, because her knees felt incredibly weak after that experience. She took a deep breath, suddenly feeling the weight of the world lift off her shoulders, all thanks to him… he reluctantly lifted his head from her neck, and she brushed the strands of hair that were hanging in his eyes out of the way. She smiled at him but that smile turned to a look of concern as she thought she saw a glint of tears shining in his eyes, but he pulled away before she could really tell.

She tried composing himself as he hastily pulled up his jeans, both of them still out of breath. She could feel her hands trembling, and clasped her hands together, taking a deep breath to regain her control. Lord, how she had missed him…

"Chris," she started, and he closed his eyes at the tone of her voice, his back to her. "God, you don't know how much I --"

"I can't do this." He said, running both hands through his hair. "God, I shouldn't have done that, what the fuck is wrong with me…?" He hissed angrily at himself. She touched him lightly on his shoulders, and he spun around, taking a step back.

"It's okay, Chris, we're two consenting adults…" she started, trying to comfort him. "It takes two to… well --"

"You don't understand," he said, his voice unsteady. "You don't understand, and now, you're going to hate me…"

"What are you talking about?" She asked, although her instincts were telling her the answer… an answer she didn't like, and she needed him to shoot down immediately as her heart started pounding. He stayed silent, looking down. "Damn it, what the hell are you talking about? Why would I hate you? You of all people… I don't think I could ever hate --"

"I'm leaving for Raw. I'm done, Stephanie."

She stared at him in shock, searching his eyes for any signs that he was lying. Surely, he had to be lying… but all she saw in those blue eyes of his though was regret and guilt. All of a sudden, her world felt like it was reeling, and she felt like she couldn't breathe as she stumbled back until she was against the car that was behind her. The car where they had just… she immediately pushed herself off the car, suddenly feeling so disgusted, disgusted at what she had just done, disgusted with _him…_

She couldn't even look at him. God, she couldn't even stand the sight of him as she forced herself to move, to go to her car, somewhere, anywhere where she could lose herself from him…

But Chris Jericho had always been impulsive, and this time was no exception… he immediately went after her, reaching for her arm, not even thinking about what he was doing anymore.

"Stephanie, please, stop," he pleaded as he grabbed her arm, but she pulled away from him in disgust and walked faster. He quickened his pace to keep up with her. "Steph, please…"

"Shut up Chris Jericho, I fucking hate you!" She screeched, her vision blurring with tears. "How dare you fucking use me like that, and then turn around, and… _get the fuck off of me!" _She snarled, shoving him hard in the chest when he grabbed for her arm again. Anger flashed in his eyes as he stumbled back, the two breathing heavily as they glared at each other. "I asked you if you were fucking happy, and not once did you even… God Chris, did you just go and sign with him, or is there any way you can get out of it? Is there any way you can stay?"

His silence spoke volumes as he lowered his gaze to the floor. She shook her head in disbelief, covering her face with her hands. She groaned loudly into her hands and looked back at him, opening her mouth to say something, but Lord help her, she didn't know what to say to him anymore. She put a hand on her forehead and tried to slow her heartbeat down.

"Why?" She finally asked, looking back up at him. "Why would you do that, Chris?"

"I just…" he paused to choose his words carefully. "I just… feel like… Stephanie, you and I both know that I'm not going anywhere on this show… baby, I --"

"Don't call me that!" She snapped, and his breath caught but he nodded and forced himself to breathe.

"Steph… I just need… change, I need something different, this show, it's just… it's just not working out for me here. I can't stay here, Stephanie, I can't just stay and… and I'm… I'm just sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He finished, looking back down. They stayed in silence for a moment, before she took a deep breath.

"So this is it. For real this time."

"Yeah," he mumbled dejectedly, sighing to himself. "I guess it is…"

"Well… good luck on Raw then."

And with that, she turned and started to walk away. He watched her for a brief moment, before feeling his vision blur with tears. That was it? That was how she wanted to end things between them, when they didn't even know when would be the next time they would see each other?

"You said you loved me!" He cried out after her, one tear escaping him. She froze at his words, feeling chills… and yet she couldn't move. "You want to know why I'm fucking leaving? It's not because I'm losing matches left and right, because I'm fucking used to that! I probably won't get another title shot in fucking years, and I accept that! That's _not _what this is fucking about! I'm fucking leaving because of _you_!" She turned to look at him, her breath catching at the sight of his tears. "You said you loved me, goddamn it, Stephanie… you said you fucking loved me…"

"How the fuck do you know I didn't!" She screamed back at him. "I said it, I said what I fucking had to say, Chris Jericho, and you heard it all and you left me anyways! And now, now you come back at me with this? This is your grand fucking explanation, that it's _my _fault you're leaving my show?"

"Did you?" He demanded, his chest suddenly feeling tight… she couldn't help her own tears as she glared at him in disbelief. "Did you love me?"

"_Do you not fucking listen to me!"_ She screamed again. "Yes, all right, yes! I did fucking love you!"

He closed his eyes, her words stirring something deep inside of him. He hesitantly looked back up at her, but she had already turned and was walking away from him.

"Do you still?" He asked, his voice notably lowered. She shot her answer back at him over her shoulder before she got into her car.

"I guess now you'll never know."


	9. Torn Apart

**A/N: **So I was in the mindset of alternating the updates between all my fics, but heaven help me, I just can't stop the muses for this particular story. There's no way I could do my other stories justice when I'm only in the zone for this story, at this particular point in time anyways. Maybe tomorrow those muses will go away, I don't know. But here I am, back to this story, this story that I'm so in love with writing. Thank you guys who continue to read it, and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as much as I'll enjoy writing it!

I don't own any of the names / characters I mention.

* * *

**Raw: Monday, July 29th, 2002**

Christian gazed at Chris, wondering what was up with him. This was their big night, where they were all going to debut on Raw, and Chris looked like he could care less. He hadn't said more than five words to him the entire night, something that was really unusual for someone as vocal as Chris Jericho. He crossed his arms as he observed the man sitting on a steel chair, noting the zoned out look on his friend's face.

But Chris Jericho was in a world of his own, not even realizing he was under Christian's scrutinizing gaze, and not really caring at that point in time. His thoughts were with Stephanie, as he kept replaying that past Thursday night in his head. He had been such a fool, in so many ways… how could he just sign with Bischoff like that? It was mind-boggling, and for the life of him, he couldn't come up with a decent explanation anymore. Yes, Smackdown didn't exactly seem like the promised land for him. And yes, he was impulsive, hell, he'd be the first to admit it.

_That's no excuse though… _he sighed heavily and covered his face with his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn't signed with Bischoff, if he had just stayed on Smackdown… if he had just stayed with her. Would things have gotten better for him?

_I guess now you'll never know._

He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard her voice again. Those words answered his silent question, the words that had cut through him like a knife when she had thrown that answer at him that past Thursday… he didn't know how long he had stood there after she had driven off, those words repeating endlessly, the pain just never-ending for him…

Against his better judgment, Christian found himself concerned as he continued to watch Chris in front of him. The man seemed torn, but he didn't know over what. He hesitated momentarily, wondering if Chris would open up to him. Sure, they were friends, but Chris Jericho just didn't seem the type that would spill his heart out to just anyone.

Just as he was about to ask what was wrong, Test and Lance Storm walked into the locker room. Christian turned, grateful for their presence.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" He asked as he smirked.

"Nothing much, getting ready to make an Un-American impact on this show." Test answered with a laugh. He then caught sight of the other Canadian in the room, noting how the man hadn't even moved when they walked in. "What's his deal?"

"I don't know." Christian answered, looking back at Chris. "He's been like that all night."

Lance glanced over at Chris, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. "I think I might know what's wrong with him." Christian and Test immediately looked over at him, surprise on both of their faces.

"Really?" Christian asked. Lance only nodded.

"Yeah, let me talk to him."

"Alright, come on big man, let's leave these two alone." Christian patted Test on the back, before the two exited the room, already chatting about their plans for the night.

Lance dropped his duffel bag and took a seat on a bench in the room, letting the silence be for a moment as he just looked at Chris. He had known the man for twelve years, going back to when they had trained together in the infamous Hart Dungeon. Not to mention the large amount of time he had teamed with him while the two built their names and reputations… needless to say, Lance Storm was able to pick up on Chris's signs. He reached over and pulled his duffel bag closer to him, opening the zipper and digging through it.

"So Chris," he started, cutting through the silence. "Who's the girl this time?" Chris's head immediately snapped up in surprise. Lance took note of how bloodshot his eyes were, which only further confirmed that he was right.

"What?" Chris asked dumbly, wondering when Lance had even come into the locker room. Lance didn't say anything as he pulled out his boots from his bag nonchalantly, before looking back up at him knowingly. "What are you talking about?"

"I guess you've forgotten how many nights I had to watch you get all broken up over Alexia." Lance said, rubbing at one boot with his shirt. "I've spent enough time with you to know when you're thinking about a girl." He looked back up at Chris, and he was a bit taken aback by the pain conveyed in his friend's blue eyes.

"I'm so stupid." Chris said numbly, fighting the tears that were threatening to come up to his eyes. He shook his head and looked down at the floor, refusing to cry in front of Lance Storm. His pride would never allow it. "I'm such a fucking idiot, Lance, you have no idea…"

"I think you're a pretty smart guy." Lance said good-naturedly, even though he found himself slightly worried. He had always admired Chris Jericho's confidence and determination, and though he had seen the man at his lowest, it didn't compare to how broken he seemed at that moment. It wasn't like Chris to be so hard on himself, and it was slightly unnerving to see.

Chris closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, leaving them there as he gripped his hair tightly. He just couldn't get her words out of his mind, he just couldn't forget the look on her face after he had said he was leaving. She looked as though her entire world was crumbling at her feet, and it was all because of him…

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to find Lance looking down at him.

"It can't be that bad." Lance said in that serious way of his, but Chris could see the concern in his friend's eyes. Chris snorted and shook his head.

"I don't think she ever wants to see me again." He mumbled.

"That bad huh?" Lance said as he pulled up a chair next to him. "Who's the girl?"

"Stephanie." Chris said, almost painfully. Her mere name made his heart ache that much more. Lance raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"McMahon?"

"Yeah, there's no other Stephanie around." Chris said, forcing a laugh, before looking away as he shook his head. "I'm an idiot Lance, I fucked everything up single-handedly…" His voice trailed as Lance observed him.

"You really care, huh?" The silence he got answered his question. Lance leaned back in his chair, unaware of the internal debate his fellow Canadian was going through.

_Should I tell him? _Chris wondered silently. He didn't like to put his business out there, lest it get back to Stephanie. And yet, he knew Lance would keep his secret. He turned and made eye contact with him, hesitating for a moment.

"I love her." He said simply, and Lance was once again taken aback by the fire that burned in his friend's eyes beneath the pain that was still ever-present. Love was such a strong word, and he knew Chris Jericho was not one to throw it around lightly.

"Does she know?" Lance asked, and Chris shook his head as he gazed down at his hands. "You should tell her then."

"It's too late," Chris whispered as he clenched his fists. His stupidity was overwhelming, even for him. He once again felt Lance put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"It's never too late, Jericho, when will you figure that out?"

* * *

"Excellent, I'll see you Thursday night on Smackdown then." Stephanie said with a smile as she hung up the phone. Tit for tat… Eric Bischoff had stolen talent right underneath her nose, so she had to return the favor as she sealed a deal with Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero for them to jump ship. 

She leaned back against the headboard on her bed, sighing heavily. The last few days had been hellacious, to say the least. The memory of that past Thursday was like a memory of a really bad dream for her. She unconsciously clutched her stomach as she recalled that night once again, taking a deep breath. That night had been so intense, she didn't get a decent night's sleep until Sunday night – and that had been forced from sheer exhaustion.

She found her thoughts going back to Chris, as they had a tendency to do. She didn't know what it was about that man, but she just couldn't understand him. She would have been willing to give up so much for him, but he had betrayed her by signing with her biggest competitor… and for what? His reasons made no sense to her, and she had been mulling over his explanation since that night. She rubbed at her temples, trying to erase that night from her memory…

She was startled by the sharp knocking on her hotel room door. Sighing, she got up and made her way over to the door, opening it just a crack to see who was on the other side. She was met with a lopsided grin, before she opened the door all the way.

"Kurt," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I wasn't doing anything and thought I'd drop by and see you for a while. Maybe we can watch Raw together?" He said with a smile, before raising two pints of strawberry and cookies and cream ice cream. "I brought a snack."

She couldn't help but smile at the gesture, before taking the strawberry pint from him. "Don't mind if I do."

He followed her in, taking a seat on her sofa and making himself comfortable as she went to get some spoons. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on, immediately flipping the channel to Raw, which was well underway. Stephanie reappeared, walking over and sitting next to him before handing him a spoon.

"I can't believe you thought I was going to jump." Kurt said in disbelief as the two started eating their ice cream.

"I don't know, that whole phone call was a bit misleading, wouldn't you say?" She said with relief still in her voice as she watched The Rock face Ric Flair in a match. Kurt just snickered as the two fell into a comfortable silence. After a few moments, he felt her hand on his arm. He glanced at her, surprised by the pained expression on her face.

"Kurt, thanks for not lying to me." She said so sincerely that he couldn't help but be moved.

"I would never lie to you, Steph. I'm happy on Smackdown, I'm not going anywhere for a long time." He stated softly but firmly, not liking the look in her eyes at that moment. "Stephanie, is something wrong?"

She looked at him a moment longer, before shaking her head and going back to her ice cream. She was grateful for his company, yes, extremely grateful even. Glancing at the time, she sighed with relief that Raw was almost over. Hopefully, she had missed seeing Chris's debut…

Kurt went back to his ice cream, but he couldn't help but watch her out of the corner of his eye. He knew she was probably still reeling from losing the trio of Canadians known as Test, Lance Storm, and Christian, but he didn't understand why this would get her down so much. It wasn't as if she couldn't steal talent right back from Eric Bischoff.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" He asked after a moment's silence. "You can talk to me, I'll listen."

"It's nothing." She said without any emotion. "Don't worry about it."

"If you say so." He answered, not convinced but not wanting to push her. They went back to watching the show, where Ric Flair was set to make some kind of announcement. Just then, Chris Jericho's music hit the arena and Kurt's eyes widened in surprise. Since when was Jericho on Raw?

Chris slid into the ring, ignoring the response of the fans as he stood up behind Ric Flair, before bashing his head with a steel chair. He looked down at him, his heart pounding in his chest as he reached for his own microphone. He looked around the arena, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was watching him at that moment…

"The only important announcement to be made is that from now on… _Raw… is… JERICHO!" _He screamed into the microphone, ignoring the way his heart felt like it had just shattered in his chest. His betrayal was now complete, he silently thought to himself as he zoned out…

Kurt looked over at Stephanie, and was shocked to see her eyes glistening with tears as she watched the TV screen. He wrapped an arm comfortingly around her shoulders, hating the pain that was evident in her eyes.

"It's okay, Steph, you don't need him." He tried to reassure her. She flinched at his words, and stood up, handing him her pint of ice cream.

"I need to make a phone call, I'll be right back…"

* * *

His Raw debut had come and gone. He had made the impact he had been craving for a long time. And yet, he still felt empty inside. 

He trudged down the hallways back to Christian's locker room. He was sharing with him on that evening because Bischoff wanted his debut to be a surprise, and well, having his own personal locker room was pretty much a dead give-away. Not like Chris really cared though. It wasn't like he cared about anything those days that didn't have to do with _her. _

Throwing open the door to his locker room, he immediately headed over to grab his bag, ignoring the other Canadians that were hanging out and chatting with each other.

"Nice debut, CJ!" Christian said with a smirk.

"Yeah, way to go, Jericho, talk about nailing Flair." Test added with a grin.

"Leaving so soon?" Lance asked, eyeing Chris knowingly. Chris didn't answer as he slung his bag over one shoulder, just wanting to get out of the arena as soon as possible. He walked out of the room without even a glance back, cursing under his breath as the empty feeling inside of him only seemed to intensify with each step he took.

He forced all thoughts of Stephanie out of his head as he entered the parking lot, immediately heading towards his rental. He couldn't keep dwelling on her, or she would tear him apart. He threw his bag in the car and it wasn't until he was in the driver's seat that he let out the breath he had been holding. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm his pounding heart in his chest.

_I guess now you'll never know…_

There it was, that voice that threatened to consume his very being… that voice that drove a knife through his heart as he remembered what those words had been an answer to. Did she still love him? Maybe a week or two ago, he would have briefly considered the notion. But after his betrayal, his signing with her enemy, he highly doubted she held him in high esteem anymore… he sighed and pulled out his cell phone, and noticed he had a missed call and a voicemail. His eyes widened a bit when he saw that the missed call was from Stephanie.

He immediately dialed his voicemail, impatiently waiting for the call to connect. He cursed as the machine kicked in.

"_You have one new voice message. New message."_

His heart was pounding as he heard the click of the machine, before hearing silence. He narrowed his eyes in confusion as he waited to hear something. Finally, her voice came through, clear as day and almost breaking what was left of his heart with only four words…

"Was it worth it?"

"_To replay this message, press one…"_

He pressed one as he closed his eyes, just wanting to hear her voice one more time… when he heard her voice come through, her crisp voice that carried hurt that he didn't recognize, he made up his mind.

If he was going to strike out, he had to strike out swinging.

* * *

Shane grumbled incoherently as he slowly woke up, wondering what had interrupted his peaceful sleep. His answer came in the form of the phone ringing. Groaning, he rolled over and reached for the phone blindly. It never failed – whenever he went to bed at a decent hour, he was always getting interrupted. Finally, he grabbed the cell phone and lifted it up to his ear. 

"Hello?" He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

"Shane, it's Chris."

"Jericho?" Shane said, rubbing his head.

"Yeah, I need a favor. Can you tell me where your sister is?"

"You call me to ask me where Stephanie is?" Shane repeated dumbly, irritation starting to cut in. "Call her yourself man, what the hell, don't you have her number?"

"Shane… please."

Shane's eyes focused as he heard Chris's tone change. He didn't know what it was about the way he had said those words, but he could hear something in Chris's voice that he'd never heard before. He sighed and sat up, turning on the light next to his bed.

"Alright, just give me a second…"

* * *

A few hours later, Kurt glanced over at Stephanie, who appeared lost in thought. They hadn't spoken a word of the show they had seen, but he could tell she was thinking about it. He took a moment to take her in… the pain in her eyes was so evident, that it made _him _hurt. He looked back over at the TV where they were watching a game show together. 

"I could totally win a show like that." He said, and a small smile broke out on her face at his claim. He smiled at that, glad he was able to make her feel even a little bit better.

"I'm sure." She answered with a hint of sarcasm, making his smile grow wider. His smile faltered though when he saw her eyes fill with tears.

"Stephanie, what's wrong?" He asked, not hiding his worry as he scooted closer to her.

"Everything," she choked out, one tear falling and breaking Kurt's heart. She was his friend, and he hated to see her torn up over anything. He put his arm back around her shoulders, giving her shoulder a friendly squeeze.

"Tell me, I'll help make it better," he suggested as he pulled her closer to him so she was leaning on him.

"I love him…"

* * *

Chris headed down the hallway of the hotel slowly, realizing how late it was and not caring. When Shane had told him that Stephanie was only around a two-hour drive away from him, once again his impulsive nature had kicked in. He had to see her, he had to somehow set things right between them. He didn't know how he would do that, but he had to try, for his sanity's sake, he just had to try. 

Maybe a part of him had really heard Lance's words of wisdom that night. He wasn't sure – all he knew was that it was worth at least one real effort on his part. He owed Stephanie that much.

He carried a bouquet of lilies in his hands, not even sure of what he was going to say to her. He figured that he could start by confessing his feelings… if she even cared to hear it at this point. He finally found her hotel room, and took a deep breath, fighting the nervous feeling he had deep inside of him. Reaching up to knock, he hesitated when he heard voices inside. He leaned up and pressed his ear against the door…

"Why didn't you ever tell him?" Kurt asked, his head still spinning from the history Stephanie shared with Chris Jericho, a history she had just spelled out for him. He never would have noticed, never would have guessed how deep her feelings ran for the blonde Canadian. Now that he knew though, it all seemed so obvious…

"Because I hate Chris Jericho!" Stephanie exclaimed bitterly. "I hate him so much Kurt, I wish I had never met him! He's done nothing for me except lie to me and use me, he's ruining my life, Kurt! I hate him, I fucking hate him so goddamn much! If I never see him again, I'll be so happy, I hate him so much…"

Chris took a step back away from the door as if he'd been burned, feeling like he couldn't breathe. Sure, he figured she would hate him, and he had been sure he could handle it. Even so, her words cut straight into his heart and he realized in that moment that he would never have her. He dropped the bouquet on the floor, not even realizing it as he blinked back his tears, before he walked away… why did he keep trying to reach out for her? Why did he keep letting her tear him apart like this?

_Because I love her… _he sighed heavily as he stepped back out of the elevator, back in the hotel lobby. He felt like such an idiot… here he was, still unbelievably in love with that woman, and she hated his guts. He kept his cool indifferent demeanor as he headed out of the hotel and walked back to his car, climbing in and slamming the door shut.

He covered his eyes with one hand, letting out a shaky breath. It was only then that he lost his composure, as he broke down in tears at the realization that he had really lost her this time…

Stephanie clung to Kurt as she cried, and he let her get it all out of her system. He rubbed her back soothingly, until her sobs started to quiet down. He looked down at her as she glanced wearily up at him, and he offered her a smile.

"Do you feel better?" He asked, and she nodded. She had really needed that cry, had needed it for a long time. She pulled away from Kurt and rubbed at her eyes.

"Thank you," she said, smiling gratefully at him. "But I think I'll be okay now."

"You sure?" He asked, and normally she'd be bothered by his look of concern. But on this night, it was a comfort.

"Yeah… I didn't really mean what I said about Chris," she said in a shaky voice. "I just hate what he did…"

"But you love him, it's really obvious to me." Kurt answered with an easy smile. "You should tell him how you feel, Steph…"

"No… no, he doesn't feel the same." She said, shaking her head. He looked at her incredulously.

"How do you know?"

"He would have said something by now."

"Sometimes, us guys are a bit slow to spring to action. A nudge in the right direction wouldn't hurt, Stephanie…"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." She said, standing up. He stood up as well, sighing.

"Alright… I just hate seeing you torn up about him, that's all." He said, pulling her into a friendly hug. She sighed and hugged him back, trying to forget about Chris if only for that night.

"Thank you Kurt, you're such a great friend." She said softly, making him smile again.

"Anytime, Steph, anytime… I should probably get going though, I didn't realize how late it was. You don't want the leader of your Smackdown locker room to be exhausted, do you?" He teased as Stephanie let him go, smiling at him.

"No, you're right, you should get some rest. Enough of me and my problems for one night." She teased as the two headed together towards the door.

"It's cool Stephanie, but now you gotta hear me out when I'm all torn up over a girl. And you better bring me ice cream too, while you're at it." He grinned as he walked right behind her.

She rolled her eyes and opened the door, before she stopped right in her tracks. She looked down at a bouquet of lilies that was left abandoned at her doorstep, before bending down to pick it up.

"What's that?" Kurt asked from behind her, as she raised the bouquet to smell the flowers. She sighed in content, loving their smell, before looking around to see if anyone was walking by and might have dropped them or something.

If that was the case though, how had they landed right in front of her door?

"It's a bouquet of flowers, but I don't know who it's from." Stephanie mused out loud as she stood back up. She didn't know why, but she held the flowers close to her heart, feeling the pain that Chris always brought to her ease just a bit.

"Is there a card?" He asked, and she blinked in surprise. She hadn't even thought of that. Looking down at the bouquet, she did indeed notice that there was a card stuck in the middle of the flowers. Plucking it out, she read the card, before feeling as if her knees would give way underneath her as the words hit her like a ton of bricks...

The card read, in simple cursive, and in a penmanship that she recognized all too well…

_Nothing was worth losing you, Stephanie… I'm sorry, please don't hate me, I don't think I could take it. I'm sorry for everything…_

_Always yours,  
Chris _

She sighed heavily, holding the card close to her heart as she looked down the hallway, her eyes once again swimming in tears as she wondered why he did these things to her...


	10. Moving On

**Thursday, October 31st, 2002**

Chris raised the pen he was writing with, tapping his chin with it as he looked down at what he had written so far…

_I know you must think I'm a coward, and I guess I deserve it. I deserve whatever you think of me at this point…_

_No_, he decided as he ripped the page out of his notebook and crumpled it up. He tossed it over to the pile that was growing on his side as he frowned and started over on a fresh page.

_It's been three months since I've talked to you… and I miss you. I miss you so much…_

He growled low in his throat as he ripped up the page, crumpling it as his hand tightened to a fist. He closed his eyes as he leaned back against the wall in his locker room, raising his fist clenching the rejected paper up to his mouth. Why was this so difficult for him to write?

_Because she hates me and I'm wasting my time, _he thought bitterly to himself as he angrily threw his notebook and pen to the side. He sighed and ran a hand through his loose hair, wondering why he still wasted his time on her…

Just then, Christian strolled into the locker room he was sharing with Chris for the house show that night. His eyes narrowed angrily when he saw that his tag team partner was sitting up against the wall, looking particularly distraught… and there was only one person who could make him look that way. Christian didn't know who the girl was, but he did know that this was getting old, and he decided to do something about it.

"Yo CJ, our match is next." He said in a friendly tone, but he was ignored. Christian rolled his eyes as he made his way over to him.

But Chris didn't notice, instead going over and picking up his fallen notebook and pen. He plopped back down on the floor and immediately flipped to a fresh page as he started to coin his thoughts…

_I need you…_

"Chris, did you hear what I said?" He heard Christian ask, but he continued to write…

… _I hope you know that, that you're everything…_

Suddenly, the page was gone. Chris blinked for a second, before realizing that his notebook had been snatched from him, unceremoniously interrupting his train of thought. He was on his feet in an instant, glaring at Christian who was now holding his notebook, a smirk on his face.

"Give that back right now, Christian," Chris seethed, clenching his fists, although Christian was already reading what he had written. Chris silently commended himself for not writing her name down, especially when his tag team partner started laughing…

"_You're everything?" _Christian snorted in amusement, not noting the embarrassed shade of red that his friend was turning. He shook his head and dropped the notebook on the floor. Chris instinctively went to pick it up, when Christian grabbed his arm. "Leave it alone! I'm sick and tired of this, Jericho! Who the fuck is this girl that has you so whipped, huh?"

Chris scowled at him, but didn't say a word as Christian shook his head.

"This girl's got your head in the wrong place, man," Christian stated, poking his partner in the chest for emphasis. "We're the world tag team champions, Jericho, and you, you've got a title shot at Survivor Series in the elimination chamber match! If you're not focused, you'll never get that title back! Instead of strategizing, you're over here moping over some broad!"

"What the fuck do you know about it?" Chris snarled, even though he found himself agreeing with every word that Christian just said.

"Nothing, Jericho, because this is all I know." Christian said, raising the two tag team championship belts in front of Chris's face. "I focus on winning, not on wooing some girl who isn't gonna help me win my damn matches!"

Chris flinched at the words, suddenly remembering the things he had said to Stephanie after that triple threat match back in March… he didn't get a chance to feel guilt before Christian thrust his belt at him.

"I got it shined for you," he said, frustrated as he turned and headed towards the door. "Now are you coming to help me defend _our _title, or are you gonna keep writing letters to your mystery woman?"

"You're right," Chris said in a low voice after a moment to digest his friend's words. He looked down at his title belt. "You're right, I need to focus on what's important."

Christian smirked. "Exactly, come on man, you can have any girl you want anyways."

Chris forced a smile. "Yeah, you're right…" he agreed as he followed Christian out of the locker room.

_Any girl, except the one I need the most…_

* * *

Stephanie sat in her office in her witch costume, taking a break from the Halloween party going on, as she twirled a small, rather worn card around in her fingers while she gazed into space. From time to time, her thoughts would go back to him… well, almost all of the time, she would think about him. It had been three months since she'd last seen him in person… sometimes, she just wanted to know how he was doing on Raw and if he was happy these days, to just see what he was doing.

Sure, she saw him on Raw every Monday… but it wasn't like she was looking for him or anything. She had to watch Raw because Eric Bischoff was her competition, it came in the cards to scout the show, and he just happened to be on the show…

She sighed and stopped twirling the card as she reread his small message that he had left her in that bouquet ages ago, or so it seemed to her. She didn't know why she kept the card with her when at that point, she had the note on it memorized. But she did… and whenever the urge came to her to see him, to call him, to just go to him, she would go back to the card. It strengthened her resolve each time…

Her resolve to let him go.

Three months, and not a word between them. She had given him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he'd come to her some day, some night, any night… she would have welcomed him back wholeheartedly, forgiving everything if she could just see him look at her the way that always gave her butterflies in her stomach. If she could hear his laugh that drove her crazy because it was so infectious, if she could just feel him again, his strong hands, his smooth hair, his sweet lips… it would have all been worth it, and she had been so ready for him…

But time came and went, and he never came. They say actions spoke louder than words, and Chris had spoken loud and clear. He was done…

Stephanie sighed, putting the card back into her back pocket where she always kept it as she stood up. Sooner or later, she was going to move on and forget about him.

For her sanity's sake, she had no real choice.

"Stephanie." Came a voice from the door, making her look up. There was a man standing there in a Scream mask. Stephanie looked at the man suspiciously.

"Kurt?" She asked, trying not to sound amused. "Is that you?"

He removed the mask and smiled at her sheepishly, making her laugh. She was thankful for the interruption, thankful to get her mind off of the Canadian that haunted her thoughts too much for her own liking.

"Hey Steph, what are you doing in here? There are some killer costumes at the party, why don't you come have some fun instead of being such a workaholic for a change?" He asked, putting his mask back on.

"You know, that's a good idea." She said with a smirk as she walked over to him. He took in her witch costume and also smirked, unbeknownst to her since he still had the mask on. "I need to have some fun for a change…"

"Yeah, you do."

"Hey Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Love the mask."

* * *

"Now _that's _what I'm talking about!" Christian exclaimed, putting an arm over Chris's shoulders as they walked back towards their locker room. Chris nodded, an easy smile on his face.

"Yeah, that was awesome," he agreed. For the first time in what felt like forever, he had finally wrestled without Stephanie on his mind. And it had paid off big time, with him and Christian both dominating their opposition. It was just too bad it wasn't televised, but he didn't care. He finally felt like he had regained at least a semblance of normalcy on that night, and it was so incredibly relieving to him.

He was finally starting to heal.

"See what I was telling you?" Christian asked, patting Chris on the back. "All you had to do was focus, and now look at you! You'll be _unstoppable _at Survivor Series, and then you'll be wearing double gold!"

"Hell yes junior, I'm gonna eliminate two guys from that elimination chamber! No, _three_ even!" Chris cried out, for the first time legitimately excited about his title shot opportunity. He had been patient, and now he was being rewarded. How stupid had he been to keep wasting time on Stephanie when he was getting a main event spot at Survivor Series, one of the biggest pay-per-views of the year?

Christian smiled at the excitement in his voice, finally glad to see his friend somewhat back to normal. And the night was only going to get better – he was going to make sure that Chris had a good time, and didn't go back to moping over some broad who probably didn't even deserve him.

"And a tag team champion, former world heavyweight champion, and _future _world heavyweight champion, well, such a champ deserves a treat." Christian said as he opened the door to the locker room, Chris on his heels.

"What are you talking… about…" Chris's voice trailed as he saw who else was in the locker room waiting for them as Christian once again put an arm over his shoulders.

"They're fit for kings, no?" Christian asked with a huge smirk on his face. Chris just nodded as he took in the two girls who were waiting for them. They looked hot, if not slutty and they just screamed easy. He watched as Christian headed over to one of them and immediately started hitting on her, before the other girl walked up to him.

He studied her for a moment. She had curly blonde hair, and was wearing a rather… revealing halter top as she also studied him, licking her lips as she did. He raised an eyebrow at that.

"Hi, I'm Angie," she said provocatively as she smiled at him. He took her in again. She was hot, yes, but he couldn't fully appreciate her beauty when he only had one girl on the brain. Chewing his gum, he looked back up at her and nodded.

"Nice to meet you," he said with an air of indifference as he walked around her. He shot a look at Christian, who was already making out with the other girl on the bench in the room. Grimacing at the sight, he went and took a seat on the sofa, spreading one arm out on the back of it as he picked up the remote in his other hand, immediately turning on the TV and putting it on UPN, cursing that it was on a commercial.

Sure, he was getting his focus back, but that didn't mean he couldn't see her every week, right? He shifted around a bit, getting comfortable as Angie sat down next to him.

"You are so handsome," she whispered into his ear, making him snort in amusement.

"I know," he said arrogantly as he popped his gum. He closed his eyes when he felt her hands on him, feeling her rub his bare chest as she trailed her hands lower and lower… he caught her hand before she could touch him where she was aiming and gave her an intrigued look.

"Look, Amanda --"

"It's Angie," she corrected with a smile. He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he snapped. "I'm really not in the mood to do this with you right now."

"You're not gay, are you?" she asked, her eyes widening. He laughed out loud at the claim, before shaking his head, the amusement clear in his eyes. She tilted her head as she looked at him. "Then what's wrong?"

"I just… there's already a girl for me," he reasoned, frowning as he popped another bubble with his gum.

"Oh, you're taken?"

He blew a particularly large bubble, before popping it and chewing his gum angrily. Her eyes widened in sympathy as she put two and two together, before snuggling closer to him.

"Oh sweetie, I'll make you feel better…" she purred as she leaned in to kiss his neck. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. He could have this girl in two seconds flat, lying and screaming his name until he couldn't take it anymore, and yet this thought didn't intrigue him in the slightest. Her kissing was hitting the right spots, and she obviously knew what she was doing… and yet, he felt nothing.

_Damn you for ruining me, Stephanie McMahon…_

* * *

"It looks like Scott Steiner's going to sign with Raw!" The man said as Stephanie stared at him. He was wearing a Vince McMahon mask, but that was not her father's voice. When John Cena had informed her that her father was in her office, well, call her crazy, but she had expected her father, not someone wearing a _mask _of her father…

Yet the words the man spoke were pissing her off. How dare whoever this was come into _her _office on _her _show and claim that Scott Steiner, perhaps the biggest free agent of the day, was going to sign to her opposition!

She had lost enough with the talent raids from Raw, and she was not going to lose again… Looking as confident as ever, she folded her arms over her as she gave the man in front of her a cool gaze.

"And how do you know this for sure?" she demanded, watching the man with a careful eye. He raised his hand to his mask and took it off, and Stephanie's eyes widened when she found herself staring at Eric Bischoff. How in the hell did he always sneak around on her show, like some kind of damn rodent that she could just not kill?

"I know, because I'm the one who's going to sign him!"

Stephanie went to respond, but she never got the chance since Bischoff grabbed her and pulled her to him in a rough kiss. She squealed against him and hit his shoulders, feeling disgust rake her body as he forced his tongue into her mouth. She continued to resist, when all of a sudden, only one thought came to her mind.

_I hope you're watching this, Chris Jericho…_

And with that in mind, she gave up her defenses as she moaned against Bischoff's mouth, no longer protesting his kiss as he bent her over on her own desk…

Stephanie pulled away from Bischoff somewhat reluctantly as the two gazed at each other. Moments later, she wiped at her mouth, before spitting out in disgust as he glared at her.

"What, do I repulse you?" he sneered, to which she gave him a fake smile.

"Thank you for that, you never know who's watching," she said in fake sweet voice. "But if you ever touch me like that again, so help me Bischoff, I will have my father _fire _you, do you understand me!"

"You wish I'd touch you again," Bischoff said with a laugh, before exiting her dressing room. She growled in frustration, holding her head as she walked over and collapsed into the chair to her desk.

Why had she done that? It was a spur of the moment, spontaneous, almost _rash _decision to get even with Chris Jericho, who she wasn't even sure was watching. At the thought of him, she took out the card from her pocket and reread it, until she couldn't read through her blurred and teary vision…

_I did what I had to do, _she reminded herself as she fought the tears from falling. She had cried enough over that man, and she was tired of crying over him. She was tired of the hurt that his very name brought to her body. Slowly and almost painfully, she crumbled up the note that had been her last link to him, not helping the tear that escaped her when she did.

She had to remove him from her system.

* * *

A nerve twitched under Chris's left eye when he saw Bischoff put his hands on Stephanie and force him to kiss her.

But when he saw her start to willingly kiss him back, the Canadian saw blood red.

Angie stopped caressing him when she noticed that he had grown unbelievably tense. She looked up at him, but he was just staring straight at the TV, a fire swirling in his blue eyes… she was about to ask what was wrong when Christian's loud laugh interrupted her train of thought.

"Oh my God!" Christian exclaimed, the other girl sitting on his lap as they watched Bischoff kiss Stephanie over her desk. "What a fucking whore…"

That was the straw on the camel's back for Chris Jericho.

He stood up so fast that Angie almost fell off the sofa as he stalked over to Christian who was still laughing. With one hand, he roughly shoved the girl that was on him off him, making her land on the floor with a thud. Christian looked up angrily but got no chance to say anything before Chris hauled him up to his feet and rammed him into the lockers behind him, putting his forearm almost brutally into his neck as he pinned him back into the lockers.

"Take that back," Chris commanded in a low and dangerous tone, breathing heavily as he pulled his right hand back into a fist. Christian's eyes widened when he saw his friend's eyes… his blue eyes that shone with fury and an intense pain all at once. "Take that back right now!" Chris snarled as he got into Christian's face.

"Jericho, relax!" Christian said, trying to loosen the ever-so-tightening grip Chris had on his neck. But his tag team partner was having none of it, his face turning red from his anger as his breathing came out in short breaths. Chris clenched his fist tighter, his eyes darkening.

"Don't make me fucking say it again," he warned in Christian's face as he felt one of the girl's pulling at him and trying to tell him to let go. But he couldn't hear it, he couldn't digest any of it, because there was only one question running through Chris Jericho's mind in that one instant.

How could she do that to him?

"Oh my God," Christian sputtered as he stared at Chris, who was shaking from anger. "Oh my God, the girl is Stephanie. It's Stephanie, isn't it? Isn't it?"

"So what if it is!" Chris shot back, before shoving Christian back again into the lockers. "So fucking what, huh? What's your fucking point!"

"My point is that you've been wasting your time on a girl who's already moved on!" Christian said, before shoving Chris angrily away from him. Chris stumbled a step or two back as he glared at Christian, who was undeterred. "You saw it yourself, Chris! She doesn't give a shit about you, now does she? And you're getting mad at me about it? Get a fucking grip man!" he cried out, holding his throat gingerly with one hand.

"Are you okay?" Christian's girl asked him, and he nodded, sending Chris a dirty look as he grabbed her hand.

"I'm fine, no thanks to my wonderful tag team partner," he spat out sarcastically as he pulled her over to the door. Before he left, he looked back at Chris, who still hadn't moved. "Oh and Jericho, don't come after me until you get your head out of your ass about someone who couldn't care less about you."

Angie watched Christian leave, before looking back at the Canadian that still stood silently in the middle of the locker room. He had his eyes closed as he tried to control his temper, but she could tell he was ready to snap…

No sooner had she thought this when Chris's eyes snapped open and he lost it. Everything in his sight, he heaved to the wall as he cursed obscenities endlessly… he knocked over the sofa, he threw the TV against the wall, he even threw his title belt bitterly at the wall. Angie felt like she was frozen to the spot, completely terrified of the irate blonde man in front of her. Slowly, she tried to escape his path of destruction by inching over to the door.

She only got to open the door an inch or two when his hand came out from behind her and closed it again. She gulped, but he spun her around to face him before she could make a run for it. Her words died at her lips when she saw the glistening of angry and bitter tears in his eyes…

"You wanted a piece of me?" he asked in a tone she couldn't quite decipher. She tilted her head in confusion but never got the chance to respond before he leaned in quickly and caught her lips with his, pressing his body close to hers. She moaned against his mouth and wrapped her arms around him, loving the way he expertly kissed her. But when she tasted a salty tear at the corner of his mouth, she pulled away.

"What about the girl?" she asked with a bit of trepidation. The last thing she wanted was for him to snap at her the way he had with his tag team partner. She gazed into his blue eyes that told her a story… a story that he was done living as he offered her a small smirk through his unshed tears, running one hand teasingly down her body, the same way he had one time done with Stephanie... she shuddered, and he kissed her again.

"I'm moving on," he mumbled against her lips, blinking back his tears as he reached his breaking point. "I'm moving on…"


	11. Always

**Survivor Series, 2002**

He was trying to clear his head. But it was so much easier said than done.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath as he tried to focus. Tonight could very well be his night, but he'd be a liar if he said he wasn't nervous about that elimination chamber. He'd never seen it before, and he didn't know what to expect, and that unnerved him. He'd done every match imaginable – ladder matches, TLC matches, cage matches, hell in a cell matches, he'd done them all.

Except this one… this one was new, no one knew what to expect. But then again, it wasn't like he was best friends with any of his opponents on that night to discuss the match with them. No, he was on his own that night, but that was definitely no new territory to him…

"You ready for your match?" He heard a voice ask, interrupting his train of thought.

"Yeah, I'm always ready." It was a lie. When was he ever ready?

"Jericho," Lance asked, leaning forward a bit. "I've been meaning to talk to you --"

"Where's the champ at!"

They both looked up, startled as Christian burst through Chris's locker room door, with Test trailing right behind him. They were both holding bottles of champagne, wide smirks on their faces.

"There he is, the man of the night!" Test claimed with a goofy grin as the two stalked over to Chris. Lance rolled his eyes and stood up, deeming this a worthy bathroom break as Christian and Test both sat next to Chris on the bench where he was at.

"Are you ready man, huh?" Christian said as he draped an arm over Chris's shoulders. "Cause we got the whole damn _celebration _ready for you tonight, CJ!"

"Yeah Jericho, you're the only Canadian in that match, so you better win and represent us all."

"First of all, assclown, I win only for me." Chris said evenly as he popped his gum, while Test rolled his eyes.

"Whatever man, just win! That's all we want."

"Hell yeah CJ, you bring that bad boy home! Check it out man," Christian showed Chris the bottle of champagne. "Only the finest stuff for our hometown boy, man, you would TOTALLY own Bret Hart if he was still around!"

"Tonight is gonna be awesome, are you excited, Jericho?" Test asked, and Chris shrugged, chomping away on his gum.

"Yeah, I'm excited, but I don't know," he ran a hand through his hair as the two Canadians next to him felt their mouths drop.

"CJ, come on man, this match is _yours _for the taking!" Christian said, a bit confused. "What the hell's got you all weird tonight?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," Chris shook his head, not wanting to admit he was nervous about his match. "You're right, I got this in the bag."

"Yeah, there you go." Test said with approval.

"Definitely, that's more like it." Christian said, patting Chris on the back. "See man, this is why it was such a good idea for us to come over here. Just a few months ago, you were facing Cena on Smackdown, and now you're over here on Raw main-eventing! Isn't that freaking awesome?"

Chris forced a smile. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"Come on man, say it like you mean it!" Christian said, shaking Chris by the shoulders a bit. "You're the man tonight, say it!"

Chris's natural egotism shone through at this point as he smirked, before standing. They were right, he _was_ the man tonight. So what if he hadn't been in this kind of match before? He was Chris Jericho for crying out loud, he could do anything he wanted.

"You want a real champion, well tonight, you're gonna get a real champion!"

Lance stepped out of the bathroom, and he shook his head at the sight in front of him. Chris was wearing his patented smirk, as he got his ego radically injected by his Canadian posse. Lance stood there for a moment, observing them getting Chris into his match, before clearing his throat.

"I hate to interrupt your little pep-talk," he said in a dull tone. "Chris, a word." He said, walking and stepping out of the locker room altogether. He stood there, leaning against the wall by the door as he waited. He scowled as Chris stepped out a moment later, giving him a curious look.

"What's up?" he asked nonchalantly, popping another bubble with his gum as Lance rolled his eyes.

"Did you ever talk to Stephanie like you said you would?" Lance asked bluntly. Chris chomped on his gum as his eyes narrowed.

"Why? What the hell does it matter?" he snapped, making Lance's mouth slack a bit as his eyes widened.

"You never told her, did you?"

"It doesn't matter, she wouldn't want to hear it." Chris spat out bitterly, unconsciously clenching his fists as he turned around. He went to walk back into his locker room, when Lance grabbed his arm and roughly turned him around. "Hey, what the fuck is your problem, Lance?"

"My problem is that I've had to sit and watch Christian get inside your head for the past three or four months, and you know, maybe I'm getting tired of it." Lance answered angrily as he poked Chris's chest. "Maybe I'm getting tired of seeing you be a damn coward, Jericho."

"What the hell did you call me?" Chris asked dangerously.

"A coward, yeah, you heard me, you're a fucking coward." Lance said, shoving Chris back roughly against the door. "You can't even tell this woman how you feel about her, yeah, that's what I'd call a coward all right."

"You don't know one damn thing about it," Chris snarled angrily, feeling his blood rush through him at this point.

"Yeah, I do know about it, you told me about it, you idiot!" Lance cried out as the two just stared at each other. Chris spit out his gum on the floor, before roughly shoving Lance backwards.

"You don't know what it's like," Chris started, trying to keep his anger in check. "You don't know what it's like to have to see her every week and to know that you can never have her, that she'll never feel the way you feel, you don't fucking know the half of it!"

"At least I would be man enough to tell her how I felt!"

"Goddamn it, Lance! Why the fuck are you doing this with me tonight!" Chris said, running his hands through his hair as the door opened behind him and Christian looked out at the two, Test peering over his shoulder.

"Uh, did we miss something?" Christian asked, but he was ignored as Chris glared at Lance.

"You stand there and call yourself a fucking friend," Chris sneered in disgust. "And yet you purposely throw me off my game tonight, tonight of all nights, tonight when I need to fucking forget that Stephanie McMahon even exists!"

"Oh God, not this bullshit again," Christian groaned as he stepped out this time. "Are you worried about Stephanie again? Man, I thought you were past that, Jericho!"

"Shut the hell up, this doesn't concern you." Lance said evenly as he shot Christian a cold look, before glaring back at Chris. "I'm telling you tonight, because she's _here _tonight, wake the hell up, Jericho! Haven't you heard the damn theme song for the night? Who the hell do you think picked it, huh? Be a fucking man for once." He spit out harshly, before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Geez, what's his problem?" Christian snorted, but Chris felt like he had just been punched hard in the stomach. Lance's words had struck him, and struck him hard. He had never spoken to Chris that way, but he knew he deserved every word that he got. He deserved his friend's anger. He closed his eyes as he realized that he really was a coward.

"Jericho, are you still with us?" Test asked as he chewed his own gum.

"Yeah Chris, did you even hear a word I said?" Christian asked, and then the two watched in disbelief as Chris turned and walked down the hallway, not even giving them a glance as he angrily stalked away. "What the hell is going on around here?" Christian demanded loudly, and Test shrugged as he watched Chris.

"You're asking the wrong person…"

* * *

"Can you believe it, me and Benoit, a team! It's so his fault that we lost!" Kurt said in disgust as Stephanie rolled her eyes. 

"If you two would actually work together, you'd be unstoppable." She said rationally, before sighing heavily as she looked down at the official list of matches for the night. No matter how hard she tried, her gaze kept going back to Chris's name. She tried to be cool, trying to brush off the enormous feeling of worry that she held in the pit of stomach, but it was no use…

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Kurt stated matter-of-factly, making Stephanie glance up at him in surprise.

"How did you…"

"Unless you're worried about Hunter in that elimination chamber match, I just had a hunch it might've been Chris." Kurt said in a light tone, but his smile faltered when he saw the worry in her eyes. "Steph, you said you were moving on…"

"I know," she sighed, looking down in shame. "I just can't help but think that the worst can happen out there."

"He's a big boy, I think he can take care of himself," he said, walking around behind her and gripping her shoulders in a friendly manner. He hated to see her like this. Finally, she nodded and looked up, a bit more confident this time.

"Yeah, you're right… he'll be fine."

* * *

Chris stood at a monitor a moment later, watching a highlight video of the way the participants of the elimination chamber had ended up in the main event on that night. But he wasn't paying attention, he couldn't pay attention. Instead, he was listening to the lyrics of the song that the highlights were playing to, cursing Lance for ruining his night… 

_I hear a voice say 'don't be so blind'  
It's telling me all these things  
That you would probably hide _

Am I your one and only desire?  
Am I the reason you breathe,

_Or am I the reason you cry?_

_Stephanie picked this song? _Chris wondered, bewildered at the thought. Why the hell would she pick this song for a big-name pay-per-view like Survivor Series, headlined by Brock Lesnar against Big Show and an elimination chamber match of all matches?

_You know why… _he sighed heavily and made his way to Stephanie's dressing room.

He knew what he had to do, and it had waited long enough.

* * *

"Kurt, can you please get that?" Stephanie asked as she scribbed some last-minute notes down for the show. He complied, getting up to see who was knocking at the door. When he opened it, his eyes grew wide in surprise. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded angrily, making Stephanie look up in surprise. She tried to see who was at the door, but Kurt was blocking her vision.

"I need to talk to Stephanie," Chris shot back, glaring at the gold medalist in front of him. At the sound of his voice, and more importantly his words, Stephanie's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't talked to her in months…

Kurt was oblivious to the internal crisis she was going through though, as he snorted and crossed his arms arrogantly in front of him.

"Well maybe I don't want you to see her, did you ever think of that?" Kurt replied, and Stephanie stood up at this. She was not going to pass up this opportunity, oh no she was not. She had waited too damn long for this, and she wanted to hear what he had to say to her…

"Kurt, stop, I don't need you to defend me," she stated with an air of authority. Kurt let out a deep breath, nodding as he accepted his friend's wish. He walked around Chris, eyeing him carefully.

"Break her heart, I'll break your ankle," he warned in a low voice. Chris just rolled his eyes.

"Kiss my ass, Angle," he responded as the two sneered at each other. The Canadian watched him carefully as he walked away, before finally heading into Stephanie's dressing room, locking the door behind him. He turned and finally met her gaze, the words dying at the tip of his tongue.

She was lost for a moment as she just stared into his blue eyes, the two of them standing there and just staring. She could get lost in those eyes of his, and she hadn't realized how much she missed him until he was right there, right there in her dressing room with her…

He felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment as he made eye contact with her, his heart feeling like it was about to explode in his chest. How did she do this to him, after all this time? He felt like such an idiot as he stood there, not able to move, barely able to function from being so close to her… she was so close to him, and yet so incredibly far away.

After staring for what seemed like hours, Stephanie cleared her throat as her eyes narrowed angrily. "Well, look at what the wind blew in," she remarked, wincing inwardly at her harsh tone, especially when she saw him wince outwardly. "What the hell do you want?" she sneered, looking away from him, not able to take his gaze piercing into her…

Chris shifted his weight uncomfortably as he looked down at the floor, not even sure what to say to her. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, not daring to raise his head again to look her in the eye. A million thoughts, a thousand emotions, a hundred memories, and yet only one thing he wanted to say to her, _needed _to say to her… the one thing he didn't know if he had the nerve to say anymore.

_Don't be a coward, be a fucking man! _he thought bitterly to himself as he blurted something out, anything out to ease the tension in the air.

"Did you pick the theme song for tonight's show?" he asked dumbly as Stephanie looked back at him in surprise. She didn't know whether to feel disgusted by him or feel like he had just driven yet another nail into her already aching heart, before she cleared her own throat.

"If that's what you came here for, you're wasting my time." She said in a low voice as anger started to creep into her. "And for your information, I _did _choose that song. What the hell is your point, Jericho?"

He ignored the tight feeling in his chest at her usage of his last name, before once again shifting his weight. Why was this so awkward for him? He had had sex with her, he had kissed her, touched her, why was it so hard now for him to talk to her like a regular person? He closed his eyes and looked down at the floor, making her sigh heavily as she just took him in for a moment.

"I just sometimes…" he started, before shaking his head and starting over. "Sometimes I just get the feeling that…" he cursed under his breath, and started over. "You know, sometimes, I just hate the way we ended things…"

"Yeah, I'm not too keen on it either," she snapped in a cold tone. "You fucking used me, you lied to me, you haven't talked to me in forever, and now, here you come, and you just --"

"I love you," Chris blurted out, not sure where the hell that came from, but God, it was just killing him inside, tearing him apart slowly like some kind of cancer. That was it, his solution, to just throw it out there, get it out of his system before it slowly consumed him. He took a deep breath, before getting the courage to look up at her. He wasn't quite sure if he liked what she saw.

"You what?" Stephanie asked slowly, feeling her hands shaking at his revelation. He went to speak again when she raised a hand, feeling her pain fuse together with her McMahon temper in a rather lethal combination as she took a deep breath to calm ner nerves.

"It's been almost four months, Chris…"

"Yeah…" he lamented, noting the fire that was burning in her eyes, hating how it made his heart feel like the pieces that were still trying to heal were being brutally shattered.

"You waited _four fucking months _to tell me this!" Stephanie screamed, making him jump. "Do you realize what you do to me, Chris Jericho? Huh? Do you even have a clue?" By the way he was staring at her with a blank look on his face, she had her answer. She scoffed and shook her head, fighting the tears that were threatening to appear.

"What I do to you?" he echoed softly, his mouth suddenly feeling incredibly dry.

"Yes! You ignore me for all this time, and now, you just stroll in here and tell me this? You have some fucking nerve," she said, willing her body not to start shaking from rage. "How _dare _you play with my emotions like this, you asshole!" she cried out, her voice cracking, and that snapped Chris out of it.

"Stephanie…" he let out in one breath as he took a step towards her. He instantly froze when he saw the glare she was sending him.

"Don't you even dare," she said in a low voice. "I'm sick of you breaking me down like this! I fucking hate you, Chris Jericho, why can't you understand that!" she screamed, grabbing her vase and throwing it at his head. He ducked, before straightening slowly and looking back at her. Her breath caught at the pain in his blue eyes, and she wanted to say something, _anything, _take back her stupid words that were sprung from her damn temper, but he was gone before she got control of her voice back…

Lord help him, if he ran into Lance, Chris was liable to strangle him. He closed his eyes as Stephanie's words seared into his heart, and he bit his lip as he struggled to maintain his composure. He didn't know where he was going, and was more than slightly startled when he felt someone grabbing his arm. Expecting Stephanie, he turned, ready to fire back if she wanted to keep chopping down his ego and his heart mercilessly. Instead, he found himself staring at Earl Hebner.

"Jericho, your match is up!"

"Huh?" he asked, blinking as he tried to remember who he was fighting. Reality caught up to him in an instant and he closed his eyes, groaning at the thoughts of the elimination chamber match that he was _so _not ready for… he cursed Stephanie underneath his breath as he headed quickly over to the curtains, sighing as he tried to focus.

But it was futile. He couldn't focus, not on this match, not on anything. He cursed her again, cursed Lance for ruining his night, cursed himself for being so stupid as he heard his countdown hit.

_Focus, focus, goddamnit! This is for the title! _He reminded himself, over and over. He continued to remind himself as he walked down the ramp, amazed by the impressive steel structure that was awaiting him.

He wasn't nervous anymore… he sighed and realized that now, he was just indifferent, and it was all thanks to Stephanie.

* * *

Kurt was a bit concerned as he watched Stephanie. As soon as Chris had stalked out of her dressing room, he had walked right back in, only to find that she was completely ignoring him. He still wasn't quite sure if she knew he was in the same room with her, and that didn't sit well with him. 

As a matter of fact, she _did_ know that he was there, but she didn't care. Her eyes were glued to the screen, and every time they showed Chris fighting, she mentally berated herself for going off like she did. He had come forward and said the words she had been dying to hear, and she had let her temper cloud her judgment. She should've been kissing him and holding him at that moment.

Instead, she watched with wide eyes as Kane threw him face-first into one of the chambers. She felt the blood drain from her face as she watched Chris go through the pexi-glass and then just lie there, barely moving as the ref went to check on him.

"Steph, he's okay," Kurt said, trying to make her feel better, but she just shook her head.

"He's not okay, he's not gonna be okay," she choked out, tears coming to her eyes when she saw that he wasn't moving from where he landed.

"Yes, he will, he's a former champion, he'll get back up." Kurt tried to reason, but she stood up anyways and headed towards the door.

"I wasn't talking about the match…"

* * *

Chris walked back up the ramp slowly, looking down at the ground as he tried to maintain his balance. He felt light-headed, and he guessed that was because he had a laceration and he was bleeding. He couldn't remember how long he had bled for, but guessing from the way his head felt, he guessed it had been a while. 

The fans didn't even pay him any attention, since he had been eliminated and the match was still going on. He willed himself to stay strong and continued to walk towards the back, a referee next to him the entire way, asking if he needed help. Chris kept denying it, forcing himself to keep moving, one step at a time.

Stephanie restrained from jumping into his arms as soon as he stepped through the curtains, instead hanging back a little. He didn't even notice her though, and her heart leapt into her throat when she saw how out of it he seemed. Before she could move though, the EMTs were already on him.

"Let me check out that cut, Chris," one of them pleaded, but he roughly pulled away.

"No, leave me alone!" he shouted, shoving the EMT that was next to him as he stumbled away. He raised one hand to the wall that was next to him to help his balance as he walked away, the EMTs watching…

But Stephanie had enough with watching and decided to go after him.

Chris was struggling to breathe as he walked, not caring that there was blood almost getting into his eyes at this point. He didn't know what hurt the most – his aching body from the brutal match he had just survived, or his aching heart from the brutal words Stephanie had dished out to him.

And at that moment, he felt like he couldn't take it anymore. It was all too much, he was too emotionally and physically drained, and the adrenaline from the match was wearing off. He cursed Stephanie again as he closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing, but he couldn't. It was just too much… he thought he faintly heard Stephanie calling his name, but that had to be some kind of dream. She wasn't his, she would never be his.

That was the thought that did him in, before his knees gave out from under him and he passed out.

* * *

Stephanie dipped a hand-towel in the sink in the trainer's room, making sure it was submerged with cold water, before raising it and squeezing the water back out of it as she glanced at Chris who was laying on one of the cots in the room. They had stitched him up and she had been more than a tad concerned when he hadn't regained consciousness, and they tried giving her a million reasons as to why that was. 

_He was running on exhaustion, doesn't look like he got a lot of sleep…_

_He's still in a lot of pain from his match…_

_The adrenaline, sometimes it leaves the body too soon…_

_He did lose quite a bit of blood…_

But she knew the real reason. She brushed the hair out of his face, careful not to hit the bandage that was now gracing his forehead. Sighing, she leaned into him and kissed his cheek, but he didn't move. She leaned back and folded the towel, before very gently placing it on his forehead.

He jerked awake as soon as she did, the cold jolting his senses. He snorted and tried shoving her away, assuming she was the trainer or some other fool trying to give him medical attention, which he didn't need as he tried to sit up.

"Chris, would you please calm down?" she tried to sound firm but she couldn't keep the relief out of her voice to see him awake. He looked back over at her, squinting at her as he laid back down and groaned, rubbing his head.

"Stephanie?" he asked, partly in disbelief.

"Yeah?" she asked, trying to take his hand in hers but he his hand away. She looked back up at him and was partly relieved to see that he didn't seem out of it anymore… and yet, she couldn't help but feel her stomach churn when she saw the look he was giving her.

"Get the hell out of here," he demanded in a low cut voice. "I don't need your fucking sympathy, not now, not anymore."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, trying not to show him how hurt she was at his words. "I'm not trying to give you sympathy, I just, I was worried --"

"You know what?" he said as he pushed himself back up so that he was sitting, tossing the towel she had given him to the side as he glared at her. "You're fucking ruining my life, Stephanie, do you realize that?"

"What?" she asked, suddenly feeling very small. She wanted to look away from those eyes, those eyes that shone only with hate in that instant.

"I just blew my title shot because I was too busy thinking about you!" he exploded, ignoring the pounding in his head and in his heart as he did. "Everything about me has become about you, and I fucking hate it! I want my life back!"

"What the hell, Chris, I'm over here trying to fix things --"

"Now you want to fix things, huh?" he demanded, his voice rising even more. "Well maybe it's too fucking late and I don't want to fix things!"

"You know what, maybe you're right!"

"Good fucking riddance, I didn't mean what I said earlier anyways!" he shouted after her as she got up and walked over to the door. "You need to get the fuck out of my life!"

"Yeah?" She asked, spinning back to face him, tears in her eyes. "Well don't worry, _Jericho, _you won't have to see my face anymore, now will you?"

"Good, maybe then I'll start winning some fucking matches for a change!"

She slammed the door shut, the tears falling freely now as she walked off angrily. How could she have been so _stupid_? So stupid to care? So stupid to fall for him?... She didn't even notice that she walked right past Lance Storm who was on his way to check up on his friend.

His eyes widened a bit as he saw the young McMahon breeze by him, before he sighed heavily and walked into the training room. Chris was laying back on a cot, his arms folded over his face. Lance was a bit taken aback when he noticed tears streaking Chris's face, before realizing his friend was silently crying.

He went and pulled up a chair, before sitting next to Chris and putting a hand on his shoulder, which only increased the tears that Chris was trying so hard to hide, and to no avail. Lance sighed again and squeezed his shoulder, knowing that in this situation, it was best to say nothing at all.

"I'm a fucking idiot, Lance." Chris mumbled from underneath his arms.

"Did you tell her?"

"Yeah."

"Good… it'll pay off then, you'll see."

Somehow, Chris wasn't so sure anymore.


	12. A Year Later

**A/N: Sorry I didn't mention this last chapter, I was way too tired, but the lyrics I used in that chapter are from the song "Always" by Saliva, which was in fact the theme song for the Survivor Series PPV in '02. Don't believe me? Well… I'm hurt, but anyways, on with the story, the freakin' story that I can't stop writing. :sigh:…**

**I own no names that I mention.**

* * *

**Monday, November 10th, 2003**

Stephanie gazed up at the arena, already feeling the dread in the pit of her stomach as she sighed heavily. This was what she had been reduced to, after battling it out with her father on national television, in front of millions watching, Monday Night Raw was now her new home. And what a home it was… having to work for Eric Bischoff of all people. Yes, the man she had been trying to put out of business was now going to be her boss.

_I'm jumping for fucking joy, _she thought bitterly as she strolled over to the arena. She had no real choice – she either accepted this demeaning opportunity, or she sat at home on her ass with her mother babying her over the way her manipulative bastard of a father had treated her. When she looked at her real options, being on Raw was almost like a haven in comparison to the hell-hole that was her family life.

But that sure as hell didn't mean this was something she was looking forward to. Especially when she thought about who in particular was one of the biggest stars of the show… she licked her lips in a vain effort to remove the bitter taste that came to her mouth whenever she thought of _him. _Hopefully if she lay low, she wouldn't have to see him in whatever it was that he was doing. She didn't know, it wasn't like she sat around and watched Raw all day…

Of course, she didn't know quite yet that she would soon come to regret her decision to avoid watching Raw. Had she tuned in even once, she wouldn't have accepted the position that Eric Bischoff offered her…

Flicking her curled hair out of her face, she entered the arena and ignored the looks of surprise from the stage-hands and backstage workers. She was walking with a purpose that night, and she was determined not to let anyone rob her of her dignity. Not Bischoff, not Jericho, not anyone. She was no one's doormat, and she was going to prove it.

"Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie…" She froze and closed her eyes at the voice, before looking to her side and seeing Eric Bischoff approach her. He gave her a wide smile and clasped his hands together. "_So _good to see you! How was your trip?"

"Dandy," she responded sarcastically, and he chuckled.

"Now Stephanie, I just want to make one thing perfectly clear," he started, putting a hand over his heart. "I was deeply, _deeply _repulsed by your father's actions at No Mercy. When he choked you out with a pipe, I mean, I was _appalled_, Stephanie, I really was."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you were."

"No, Stephanie, no, I want you to know that this is your home now!" he beamed with excitement as he casually put an arm over her shoulders, missing her look of disgust as he did. "After over a year, you're finally on a _real_ show! Aren't you excited?"

She shrugged his arm off her shoulders, earning an amused look from him. "What is it that you want me to do?"

"I heard that about you, you like to get right to the point," he said with a fake smile. Stephanie took a deep breath as she glared at him, watching as he snapped his fingers. "Oh, I got it, how about you start with getting me a latte from Starbucks? There's one around a mile down the road."

"But the show's starting in fifteen minutes," she said as her glare turned into a look of confusion. His smile disappeared from his face as he sneered at her.

"Then I suggest you get going."

* * *

"Any time you want to talk, Chris, all you have to do is say so." 

He smiled at that. "Really?"

"Yeah, anytime," Trish responded as she matched his smile. He tilted his head a bit, fighting the urge to just lean in and kiss her. He would be lying if he said he didn't find her to be incredibly attractive, and the way she moved in the ring always made him think inappropriate thoughts… and yet, he refrained from making such a bold move, his self control still in check as he stood his ground.

"Well, if you're not busy later…" his voice trailed, and he noted the way her eyes seemed to light up. That definitely helped give him a nudge in the right direction. "Do you want to go and maybe get a bite to eat after the show?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Trish asked, and he took a small step towards her as he smirked.

"Maybe I am," he responded smoothly, and her smile only grew when she saw the genuine interest shining clear in his sharp blue eyes. She thought about it momentarily, her female intuition still not completely trusting his intentions, but he was Chris Jericho… smart, talented, and downright hot, if not a total asshole.

But if there was one thing that trumped his asshole nature, it was most definitely the charming side of Chris Jericho. With that thought, she nodded, accepting his offer.

"Okay, I'll see you after the show," she answered, matching his smirk. "Don't be late."

"Oh trust me, I won't."

Chris watched her walk off and sighed to himself, a lazy smile on his face as he congratulated himself on taking the steps necessary to move on with his love life. It had taken a lot of effort, and a lot of one night stands as well, but now he finally had his head back in the game. Not only that, but the hottest woman in wrestling had agreed to go out on a date with him that night. He wanted to do things slowly with Trish, he wanted to enjoy every second instead of diving in headfirst like he had with others in the past…

"How'd it go?" A voice asked him from behind.

"Went great, I just scored a date." Chris said smugly, before turning to face his smirking tag team partner.

"Dude, that's awesome," Christian said, legitimately sounding impressed. "I'm so putting the moves on Lita like you wouldn't even believe."

Chris snorted and rolled his eyes. "What the hell are you doing messing with that broad, knowing that she's still head over heels for Matt? You can't even deny that she still loves him."

"Screw _love, _man," Christian said in disgust. "I'm hot, why the hell would Lita pick _Matt Hardy _over me?"

"Like she'll ever want you." Chris said, waving Christian off with one hand, making the man scowl angrily.

"Yeah? Well what the hell makes you think Trish Stratus wants you?"

"Uh, hello, you idiot, she just agreed to go on a date with me!"

"So? Dates don't mean anything!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Chris demanded as he frowned, taking a swig of his water bottle.

"It means, that it doesn't mean anything if you can't _score,_ that's what it means."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, really."

"You don't think I could score with Trish?"

"Nope, I don't."

Chris was silent for a moment, before speaking in a low voice. "Has it ever occurred to you, junior, that maybe I _like _Trish? And maybe I'm tired of going after chicks to just nail them, huh? What do you think about that crazy notion?"

Christian snorted in disgust, brushing it off with his hand. "Whatever man, excuses, excuses. You couldn't nail Trish even if you tried."

"I know I could," Chris answered confidently. "But maybe, I'd like to have a real relationship with Trish."

"I got a Canadian dollar that says you ain't got the stuff to nail Trish." Christian said smugly, making his friend's jaw drop.

"Are you serious?"

"And not _only _that, not _only _are you incapable of doing it, but I bet you I could totally do the deed with Lita before you'd even come close to nailing Trish!"

Chris laughed out loud at this, shaking his head in amusement. This was too much, even for him. But what the hell was a Canadian dollar worth anyways? Not a whole lot, and so he nodded.

"Fine, you're on then," he agreed as they shook hands.

"Awesome, this is so already over, I've got this won. You and Trish, please! You couldn't screw her if your life depended on it," Christian snickered.

"I'm a sexy beast, I'm Chris fucking Jericho for crying out loud, I can have any woman I want!" Chris cried out angrily, getting upset that his manhood was being called into question.

"Not everyone is as easy as Stephanie McMahon." Christian remarked, and Chris's eyes darkened considerably. Before Christian could take his words back, Chris shoved him back roughly against the wall behind him. He grabbed handfuls of his shirt and got in his face.

"What the fuck did I say to you about insulting Stephanie, huh?" Chris snarled angrily, while Christian tried to loosen his grip.

"Would you relax, Jericho!" Christian hissed. "What the hell, a stupid little innocent comment about her still gets you riled up?"

"Shut the fuck up, you son of a bitch," Chris said through his gritted teeth as he pulled back one fist, his temper flying and out of control. Just then, he felt arms grab him and yank him back off of Christian. He pulled away angrily and spun around, coming face to face with Randy Orton and Scott Steiner. Randy sneered at him.

"Listen, I hate to interrupt this love fest, but you've got a match against Booker T next," Randy stated as Steiner just glared at Chris. "And you two better get your shit together, because we're all a team this Sunday at Survivor Series --"

"Shut it, junior," Chris snapped as he walked off towards the curtains. He could feel his teammates staring at his back. He knew he was a vital part of Bischoff's team that coming Sunday, but he frankly just didn't give a shit at that moment. Clenching his fists, he cursed angrily under his breath that Stephanie's name still brought a familiar flaring of pain to his chest.

One year… one long year, almost 365 days, and he _still_ wasn't over a damn thing that had to do with Stephanie McMahon. He sighed heavily as he closed his eyes, wishing the night would end so he could go out and hopefully have a good time with Trish. He smiled a little at the thought, not feeling any guilt at all over the bet he had made with Christian. It was just a joke, it meant nothing to him. His smile faltered a bit at the thought of his friend, but he knew that at the end of the day, they would always be good friends.

But Trish, Trish was like a haven that he had stumbled upon accidentally. Just when he had lost hope that he could have a real relationship, it was like the tides finally turned in his favor and he got Trish as a result. His smile came back, wider than ever as he thought about her.

She was his ticket to forgetting his painful history with Stephanie. And he knew he could grow to love her for that mere fact alone...

* * *

Every single Team Bischoff member had lost to a Team Austin member. Eric Bischoff was now officially having a bad day. He growled and turned to take out his frustrations on his newest employee… 

Stephanie was more than slightly startled when Bischoff snatched her clipboard right from her hands. She looked up, her anger flashing brightly in her eyes as he sneered at her.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, and she rolled her eyes.

"I was making sure I did everything on your checklist," she said through her teeth. Lord was it killing her to take orders from him, but she knew better than to start a scene with him. In the end, her father still called the shots, and so she knew she had to be on her best behavior.

"Why the hell isn't it already done?" Bischoff snarled angrily, and Stephanie was about to respond when the door suddenly flew open to his office. She snatched her clipboard back and went back to looking at it as Bischoff turned to greet the angry Canadian that was stalking into his office.

"Damn it Bischoff, did you see that travesty out there?" Chris demanded, his face still flushed from his match against Booker T, which he had lost fair and square. He was so worked up over losing, that he didn't even notice who else was in the room.

But Stephanie sure as hell noticed him. She couldn't help but feel as though her heart was suddenly going in overdrive, not able to take her eyes off of him. It had been a year since she was last in the same room with him… such a long time ago, and yet, she remembered every last detail.

"Yeah Jericho, I saw your match, and I saw you _lose_," Bischoff stated evenly, glaring at Chris.

"But did you see those sons of bitches from Team Austin run down there and brutally assault us? How are we supposed to be ready for Sunday, when we're getting jumped, huh! Do something, Bischoff, we're fighting for _you _after all!"

"What do you want me to do, huh? What do you want, me to spoon-feed you?" Bischoff shot back, before clearing his throat when he saw Chris's eyes narrow angrily. "Look, Chris, we had a bad night tonight. We'll make up for it Sunday, right? And then Austin will be no more!"

"Yeah, that's right," Chris nodded, snapping his gum. "I'll personally make damn sure of that!"

"Now if you'll excuse me, I was trying to break in our newest employee to Raw Work Rules 101," Bischoff said, gesturing over to Stephanie with a smirk. Chris snickered and took a quick glance, before turning and walking towards the door.

Suddenly, he froze and looked back at her, not believing his eyes. "Stephanie?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"Jericho," she responded, keeping her cool gaze on him, even though she could already feel her hands starting to sweat. She took in his surprised look, fighting the urge to look lower and take him in… he sure was still a sight for her sore eyes, that much had never and probably would never change.

Bischoff scowled as he looked back and forth between the two, before loudly clearing his throat. "If that's it, Jericho, then you can leave," he said bluntly, but Chris ignored him, not able to take his eyes off of her.

"You're working here now?" he asked, not even attempting to hide the shock in his voice.

"Yes, she is," Bischoff answered, not giving Stephanie a chance to get a word in edge-wise. "Is that it, Jericho?"

Chris snapped out of it, sending her another look before he walked out of the office altogether. He ran a hand through his hair, a hand that was slightly trembling. Of all the people in the world, why did he always have to come back to Stephanie? Why was she being rehired now that he was finally making a real, legitimate attempt to move on with his life?

Why was she coming back now that he was after Trish of all people?

Meanwhile, Bischoff was taking a personal delight in giving Stephanie hell…

"You see this office?" Bischoff said, as Stephanie just glared at him. "I want it _spotless, _do you understand me? You don't leave this damn arena until you do it! Spotless, everything shines in here, is that understood?" She merely nodded, but this was not enough for him… "You work for _me _now!"

"I know," she responded evenly.

"And you better not forget it! Just remember that your daddy dearest despises you now, you don't have any friends here, you do what _I _say or you go home!" Bischoff sneered as he poured what was left from his latte over the carpet in the room. Stephanie shrunk back in disgust.

"What the hell are you doing!" she cried out angrily, but he just smirked and dropped the cup altogether.

"Get to cleaning, toots!" he sneered again, his voice dripping with disdain, before stalking out of his office. Stephanie closed her eyes and sighed, wondering why she put up with the things that she did…

* * *

"About earlier…" 

"It's alright man, we're friends, right?"

"Yeah, but I shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

"It's okay," Christian said with a smirk as he patted Chris on the back. "No hard feelings man, no hard feelings."

"Am I interrupting another love-fest over here?" Lance said in disgust as he walked up to the two, as they waited for him.

"Love fest? You're the mack daddy hitting on those girls, maybe _you _should be in on our bet too."

"What bet?" Lance asked, glancing over at Chris, who shrugged and ran a hand through his hair.

"Nothing, it's stupid," he answered, before Christian snickered.

"It's only stupid cause he's gonna lose! We got a Canadian dollar going, with me saying I could bed Lita before this loser gets to nailing Trish!" Christian exclaimed with a laugh, before Lance glanced back at Chris, who was looking off to the side.

"Speaking of Trish, I have a date I need to get to, so if you guys don't mind…"

"Yeah, you go work on that," Lance said bluntly, making Chris wince.

"It's not like that, I really like her," he tried to argue, but it was to no avail.

"I've heard that one before," Lance mumbled, and Chris sighed heavily.

"Whatever, I'm gonna go."

"Yeah, go work on the impossible," Christian snickered again as Lance shook his head in disappointment. Chris frowned and walked away, not wanting to be near either one of them at the moment. Why was it so hard to believe that maybe he really wanted whatever this was with Trish to develop into something real? Was it that hard to fathom the thought of him actually putting his past with Stephanie behind him?

He sighed as he put his hands in his pockets, his thoughts going back to her. He still couldn't believe she had been rehired to work on Raw… of all his damn luck in the world. Looking down at the floor, he just kept walking, trying to clear his mind. The last thing he wanted was to ruin this chance he had with Trish by being all hung up over Stephanie. Somehow, he didn't think that would make the best of impressions.

He walked past Bischoff's office, and snuck a glance over at the door. He couldn't help but wonder if she was inside, or if she had already left. Slowly, he stopped walking as he looked back over at the door.

_What the hell? _he figured absent-mindedly as he headed over to his boss's office…

Stephanie was on her hands and knees in the office, scrubbing bitterly at the carpet as she tried getting rid of the damn stain that Bischoff had left with his spilt latte. Her pride was being broken, she knew it and she couldn't help it no matter how hard she tried. This job was going to be hell, it was going to be hell working for Bischoff. Her vision began to blur with tears as she reminded herself bitterly that her father would refuse to help her out now.

How had she fallen down so low to be doing this? She could not for the life of her think of a reasonable explanation, the tears streaking down her cheeks as she choked back a sob. This was not where she imagined herself being a year before, how could she have been so stupid to not have seen her father's betrayal coming?

_I hate men, _she thought angrily as she continued to scrub harder, her vision completely blurred now with her tears, but she didn't care. She just continued to scrub, because after all, this was her life now…

Suddenly, a hand came down on hers, and she furiously wiped away at her tears, cursing under her breath. She felt her cheeks redden with embarrassment as she looked back at who she assumed to be Bischoff.

Instead, she found herself gazing into Chris Jericho's clear blue eyes as he knelt down in front of her… she stayed still for a moment, searching his eyes as she was transported back a year ago, back to a confession she should have never turned away. She should have been angry with him, but the year away from him combined with the concern that was now so evident in his easy gaze was melting away her resolve.

He reluctantly broke his eye contact with her as he looked down, gently removing her hand from the brush she was using to scrub the carpet.

"Allow me," he said in a low voice as he resumed her scrubbing. Stephanie sat back numbly and watched him as he went at it on the carpet. It wasn't a big gesture, but it still stirred something inside of her. In a day and age when she had no one except her mother, she was moved by such a small gesture in her direction.

The fact that it was Chris of all people only made it that much more bitter-sweet.

"You don't have to do that," she said softly, hating the way her voice cracked. He glanced up at her and the tears staining her face did something to him… forgetting about the carpet, he immediately went over to her, kneeling next to her and pulling her close to him in a tight hug.

"What's wrong? It's not me, is it?" he asked with a hint of teasing, though his concern rang through loud and clear as she tensed against him. He just pulled her tighter, and after a few moments, felt her completely relax against him before he felt her tears… "Stephy, baby, talk to me, please…"

But she couldn't. She was too busy reveling being in his arms again, finally feeling as though she was where she belonged. After a hellacious period with her father, she had felt so empty, but now she was with Chris again. She clung to him tightly, crying into the side of his neck as she took in the scent of his cologne, knowing there were a million questions she wanted to ask him. She cursed that of all the days for him to come back to her, it had to be on this day.

Or well, she was technically the one who had come back to him…

Suddenly, she felt his warm breath near her ear, making her shudder before she felt him kiss her cheek. He leaned back a bit, taking her face in her hands as he slowly kissed her cheeks where her tears were, following the tears back up to her eyes.

"Why do you do this to me?" she asked in a shaky voice as he started to kiss away the tears staining her other cheek. He was driving her crazy, and it suddenly felt like 2002 all over again…

"Must you ask?" he mumbled, lowering his gaze to her lips as he leaned in close to her. He wouldn't be able to tell you at that moment who Trish Stratus was, not when he finally had some sanity, some order back in his life, in the name of Stephanie McMahon…

She couldn't help but whimper by his teasing, hating that he had this effect on her as he was now no more than two centimeters away from her. Her brain told her to stop him, to stop him from hurting her any more than he already had…

"Chris, please," she started, but he misunderstood this simple request as her wanting him, and so he leaned in all the way, not able to take it anymore and just needing to taste her again. Stephanie froze for a moment before relaxing into his kiss as he deepened it, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer against him. She ran one hand down his chest teasingly, her hand trembling, but it was still enough to make him groan from the contact as he instinctively started leaning the two over until they were on the floor.

Stephanie had a moment of clarity when he laid her down on the floor, one that he almost made her lose as he came down on top of her and lavished her with his kisses. It took all her willpower to not give into him and his delicious heat, all her willpower as he attempted to drive her crazy with his kisses…

"Stop, God Chris, please," she gasped, and it didn't help that she could feel how aroused he was by their contact. She pushed him back by his shoulders as he looked down at her, the lust shining bright in his blue eyes, almost entrancing her in the process.

"I missed you so much, I need you, Stephanie," he said huskily, and she swallowed as she forced herself to remember everything she had gone through with him.

"Does that fix everything, huh? You just trying to use me again?" she demanded, finally getting control of her senses back from him.

He closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. "I never used you…" Just then, his cell phone went off, and he groaned in disbelief at his luck. Reaching down, he looked at the number and saw it was Trish.

The look on his face then about did Stephanie in as she shoved him off of her, getting up on shaky legs. He turned his phone on silent and got up as well.

"Stephanie…"

"Who the hell is that, Chris? Someone else you want to nail tonight?" she demanded harshly, trying to still her pounding heart as he looked at her in disbelief.

"Steph, no, it's not like that --"

"Oh no?" she asked, raising an eyebrow incredulously as he sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair.

"I asked Trish out on a date tonight --"

She turned and went to leave the room, when he caught her arm.

"Before I saw that you were back, Stephanie," he added, trying hard not to sound like he was pleading with her. He pulled her back close to him, and she looked up into his eyes. He saw the hurt and the doubt, and it broke his heart…

"Why should I believe you?"

"If you don't, I'll prove it."

"How?"

"I'll cancel the date," he suggested, and she laughed at that, making him frown slightly. "Stephanie, I'm serious, I'll cancel if you want," he said, and she stopped laughing when she saw the honesty that was imbedded in his eyes.

"Why?" she forced herself to ask, swallowing the lump that was rising in her throat.

"Because I just want you," he said simply, leaning in to kiss her again, to taste her again, but she pulled away as if burned.

"No Chris… I can't do this with you anymore," she said, her voice losing its strength as she pulled out of his embrace. "It's never going to work, Chris."

"You don't know that…" he pleaded, reaching for her arm again but she pulled away again. "Steph, please, we can try this time…"

"Why, huh? What makes it so different? You asked Trish out on a date, she must mean something to you, right?" she spit out bitterly, making him sigh heavily.

"I didn't know you were here…"

"And that changes everything?" she cried out in disbelief, feeling her tears resurface. "I can't take you and your games, Chris, just go on your stupid date, you would've gone anyways and continued to ignore my presence if I hadn't decided to start working today!"

He was stunned and couldn't think of what to respond, before she was gone. He ran both of his hands through his hair as he squeezed his eyes shut. Of all the times not to be able to come up with a comeback, why did it have to be then?

Was she right? He didn't even know anymore as he looked back down at his cell phone, where he had a missed call from Trish. He cursed as he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly regretting starting up this newfound relationship. But honestly, he tried to move on, and Stephanie just blew back into his life like a damn hurricane…

Sighing, he collapsed heavily on the sofa in Bischoff's room as he called Trish back…

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Chris."

"Chris, hey, where are you?"

"I just got caught up with Bischoff."

"Oh, good, I was getting kinda worried." He closed his eyes at the guilt that washed over him at that. "Chris?"

"Yeah, I'm here…" he said, sighing again. "Listen, Trish, do you mind if we kinda postpone this date tonight? I really want to go out with you but I feel really light-headed tonight, so I'm gonna just go to the hotel and get some sleep… if that's okay with you?"

"Oh yeah, that's fine, don't worry about it."

"Thanks, please don't hate me."

She laughed at that. "It's okay, I forgive you this time," she teased, before turning serious. "Are you okay though, for real? If you want, I can go see you for a bit."

"No, really, I just need to sleep right now."

"Okay, well, I hope you feel better."

"I'll make it up to you, I'm really sorry, Trish," he lamented, legitimate regret in his voice.

"Don't knock yourself out over it, it's okay," she reassured him. "Just feel better okay?"

"Alright, thanks doll," he said with an easy smile. He couldn't see it but she smiled at that too.

"Anytime, so I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah, have a nice night."

"You too, night Chris."

He sighed again as he hung up and leaned back against Bischoff's sofa as he closed his eyes. He hated to lead Trish on, and part of him was upset that Stephanie didn't believe him when he said he really would cancel his date with Trish. If Stephanie asked him never to speak to her again, he probably would, if it meant finally getting her back in her life. As it was though, what first felt like a haven with Trish now felt like an obstruction in his path, his path that lead to Stephanie. It made him feel like shit, because he did care about Trish, he was human after all and he did have a heart…

The problem was that his heart had already been claimed.


	13. Choices

**A/N: Another update! Yeah. Don't ask. I know, I have to start showing my other stories some love… and I will… when I'm in the zone for writing them. Which is not this moment, but will be a moment in the near future… yeah I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but oh well. Here we go again.**

**I own nothing.

* * *

****November 17th, 2003**

Tonight was the night. He was going to do it. He didn't know how, but he was going to do it. He had waited too long, way too long, to let such a golden opportunity pass him by. He was tired of it, and he was going to do something about it. On that night, Chris was going to finally make Stephanie his.

Of course, this little bet he had going with Christian could potentially throw a proverbial wrench into his plans. But he would deal with that when the time came.

And of course, Trish hanging off his arm at the moment wasn't exactly putting his best foot forward either…

"Are you listening to me?" she asked, bringing him back down to reality.

"Huh?" he asked blankly, pushing aside his thoughts of Stephanie. "Sorry, I zoned out for a second there, what were you saying?"

"I said I had a great time with you last night," she said with a slight frown. "But you're not even listening to a word I'm saying."

He gave her his best smile and pulled her in a little closer to him. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of what we could potentially have going here."

She tried to fight the grin that was threatening to appear on her face, but wasn't exactly succeeding as she looked up at him. She hated to admit it, but she was starting to grow very fond of him. He was showing her a different side of him, and she was growing more attracted to him as the weeks passed.

"And what is it that we have going here exactly?" she asked in a flirtatious tone.

"I don't know, but I kinda like it," he answered smoothly as she leaned up closer to him. He took her in for a moment, wondering if she would reject him if he'd lean in and kiss her. It was a fleeting thought though… tonight, he was planning on being Stephanie's, in which he would have to remove all ties with the blonde that was currently almost linked with his body. He felt a momentary pang of guilt when he saw her eyes light up with excitement, telling himself he needed to back off.

But his pride was overwhelming every other emotion running through him, and after so many rejections from Stephanie, it was nice to know that he could have Trish if he really wanted…

"You know Jericho, you're not that bad of a guy…" Trish droned, before giving him a genuine smile. "I think I might have had you pegged wrong all along."

This brought a real smile to his face. "Thanks doll, you're not so bad yourself," he answered with a wink, before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I need to get going though, I'm bringing the Highlight Reel back tonight, and I have to get ready."

"Oh wow, that's really cool," she said, excited for him and feeling a shiver go down her spine from his kiss, as brief as it was.

"I'll catch up with you later?"

"We'll see," she said with a smirk, which he matched.

"Yeah, we'll see."

* * *

Stephanie walked out of Bischoff's office, sighing as she headed down the hallway. That man was so infuriating to work for. It was like he purposely went out of his way to make Stephanie's life a living hell, and she didn't appreciate it. She was incredibly thankful for the chance to get away from him, having about had it with him barking orders at her all the time.

She had also about had it with Chris Jericho.

The thought of him brought down an array of emotions that she was trying to seriously keep in check. Last week had been a big mistake, to let herself get swept back up in his charms and let herself fall back into his arms. It was all a mistake and she regretted every last second of it… she closed her eyes at the thought of his kiss, feeling butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

Yes… a mistake, that she had enjoyed one too many times.

Forcing the thoughts aside, she kept moving until she found herself near the gorilla position. Going over in front of a monitor, she groaned when she saw that Chris was out there doing his thing with the Highlight Reel. There was something almost glowing about him, and she recognized the sparkle that he had in his eyes. He was planning something…

Licking her lips, Stephanie found herself in a very tough situation. They were working together again… the last time they had worked together was that night back in July of the previous year. She suddenly bit her lip at the thought, the pain from his betrayal on that night still very fresh to her…

In that one instant, she made up her mind. She would never let him bring her down again. She turned and walked away, still trying to figure out what to make of the situation. All she knew was that she had tried giving him her heart one time too many, and she was done trying.

Christian was on his way over to the gorilla position to catch up with Chris, when he saw Stephanie walk past him. He snickered when he saw that she completely ignored his presence. He had caught wind that she was the newest backstage employee, but he honestly didn't care. And he was more than a tad bit bothered that a certain one of his friends did…

Chris came through the curtains, not able to keep the grin from his face. He had seen what Matt Hardy had been prepared to do out there with Lita, and it actually made him happy to think that Matt would finally propose. Not only would that kill the bet he had going with Christian, but it had also stirred Chris to action.

He wanted that to be him and Stephanie one day. He was tired of playing games, he was tired of his hurt and he was especially tired of seeing her hurting. He wanted her, it was just that simple.

Sure, she said she was tired of him. But he had felt something in her kiss, something that suggested that maybe, just _maybe,_ she was holding back from him…

"Yo CJ, awesome segment, man," Christian greeted him. Chris nodded and looked around as he licked his lips.

"Have you seen Stephanie around?" he asked nonchalantly, missing the scowl on his friend's face.

"Yeah, I think she was waiting here earlier, but she's probably with Bischoff right now," Christian answered with a shrug.

"Thanks," Chris answered, his grin growing wider as he immediately headed off in that direction.

"Chris, wait!" Christian called out, but the other Canadian didn't hear him as he quickened his pace. The sooner he could talk to Stephanie, the sooner he could start setting things right between them.

Moments later, he reached his destination. He stood in front of the door, silently thinking to himself what was the best way to go about this. Closing his eyes, the only thing he could visualize was Stephanie in his arms. He didn't know what it would take to make that his reality again, but he wanted it so bad he could almost feel her already…

And with that thought, he pushed open the door and stepped inside his boss's office.

"Jericho, what brings you by these parts?" Bischoff asked as he beamed. He was in an incredible mood since Team Bischoff had annihilated Team Austin the night before, and nothing was going to bring him down from that.

Chris ignored him however, his eyes quickly scanning the office, only to find to his immense disappointment that Stephanie wasn't to be found. He sighed heavily and finally cast his eyes on Bischoff.

"Where's Stephanie?" he asked, and Bischoff shrugged.

"She said she had things to take care of, and since I'm in such a fantastic mood, I let her do as she wanted. Why, what did you --"

But Chris was already out the door, not sticking around to hear anything else as he scanned the hallways. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering where she could possibly be, before pulling out his cell phone. He stared at it for a moment before frowning. He wasn't so sure if she'd answer him, and this thought made his nerve start to falter…

Just then, he was startled as the phone started ringing in his hand. His eyes grew wide when he saw that it was Stephanie who was calling him…

_Good, she didn't erase my number, _he thought idly as he immediately answered.

"Hello?"

"We need to talk," she stated in a clip tone that was void of emotion. His heart skipped a beat as he nodded to himself.

"Where are you?"

"In the parking lot."

"I'll be there."

"Hurry up," she demanded before hanging up. He bit his lip and hung up on his end, before taking off down the hallway. He brushed past everyone, before starting to run faster. He didn't know why, but he felt like if he didn't catch up to Stephanie right now, he'd lose her forever… he didn't even notice Trish step out of her dressing room, until she reached out and grabbed his arm before he could zoom right past her.

He stopped and turned an angry gaze towards whoever it was that was slowing him down, before seeing that it was Trish. His look immediately softened as he mentally cursed his luck.

"Where's the fire, Chris?" she asked, looking at him in confusion.

"Trish, I can't right now," he said hastily, pulling his arm free. He shot her a look of regret as he started walking away. "I can't, we'll talk later, okay?"

He didn't stick around to hear her answer, all the while mentally preparing himself for this conversation that he was going to have with Stephanie. His heart was pounding as he ran towards the parking lot, but it wasn't from the running…

He just couldn't shake the feeling that this was his last chance. And he was going to make it count.

* * *

Stephanie gazed up at the dark sky, wrapping her arms around herself as she felt a chill in the air. She took a deep breath when she heard the doors to the arena open behind her, already feeling him there as she wrapped her arms a little tighter. She never needed to see him to know he was nearby…

He looked at her back and sighed softly to himself as he put his hands in his pockets. He didn't say anything as he slowly walked over to her until he was standing around a foot behind her. She was looking up, and he also looked up to see what she was looking at. There was nothing really that stood out to him in the sky… no moon, no stars…

"Do you remember when we first met?" she asked, surprising him when she didn't even look back to see that he was there. He cleared his throat before rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, you were with your dad when I signed," he answered, before putting his hand back in his pocket as he just looked at her. He loved her hair when it was curled the way it was that night.

"What did you think of me that day?" she asked, sounding more like she was thinking out loud than speaking to him directly. A moment later, and she felt him right behind her, his warmth threatening to overtake her at any second… she closed her eyes, bracing herself for his touch, but it didn't come.

"I thought you were the most gorgeous girl I'd ever laid eyes on," he whispered into her ear, sending chills down her spine. She tried not to, but she couldn't help the small smile that broke out on her face at his compliment.

"You've always been one with words, haven't you?"

"So people tell me," he answered as she sighed and looked off to the side. "I'm glad you asked me to come out here, because there's something I really want to tell you."

"Before you tell me whatever it is," Stephanie said, taking a step forward to put some distance between them as she slowly turned to face him. "I've done a lot of thinking about us over the past week."

"Oh yeah?" he said, raising an eyebrow, ignoring the way his heart started racing. Was she going to say what he wanted her to say?

"Yeah, and I've reached a decision," she said in a firm voice, and she waited for him to say something, but he was silent as he just looked at her with anticipation in his features, silently urging her to continue. She cleared her throat and looked down at the ground.

"What is it?" he asked in a voice he hardly recognized as his own.

"I'm going to give you a choice, Chris, and it's one or the other, there's nothing else," she stated with an unyielding resolve, amazed with the way she was keeping her composure. Maybe it was helping that she was avoiding his eyes, those blue eyes that could look into her and pick her apart… she hesitated, before forcing herself to continue, "First choice is we can be… friends."

"… Friends?" he echoed, feeling his jaw drop. She wanted to be _friends _with him with their history? He couldn't even wrap his brain around the very notion. He shook his head slowly, and she cleared her throat again.

"Yeah… friends," she nodded, "or there's the second choice."

"Which is?"

"We can be nothing at all."

He closed his eyes, feeling himself being backed into a corner. He sighed deeply, trying to ease his muscles which felt incredibly tense at the moment. After a few seconds, he finally looked back up at her, where she was awaiting his response.

"What if I don't want either?"

"This isn't about you anymore, Chris," she said, trying to keep the edge out of her voice. "The fact of the matter is what I said last week. It's never going to work out between us."

"Like I said, you don't know that," he said, taking a step towards her. She raised her chin, standing her ground.

"I do know that."

"How? How could you possibly know if we'd work out or not, huh? How --"

"Damn it, Chris," she hissed, closing her eyes in frustration. "Don't make this harder on me, I told you what I can give you, and that's it!"

"That can't be it!" he insisted, stepping up to her and grabbing her arms, pulling her closer to him. "We can't be _friends, _Stephanie, come on! You and I both know that wouldn't work out --"

"Take it or leave it," she said in a cut and dry tone, glaring at him as he held her dangerously close to him. "Those are your options."

"Like I said…" he started, holding her eyes with his, "What if I don't want either?"

"Goddamn it, Chris!" she said, suddenly punching him hard in the chest and making him take a step backwards. "What else do you want me to give to you, huh? What more can I possibly give you, how much more do I need to bend over backwards for you! Take a fucking look around, Chris, what the hell do you see!" she cried out, waving her arms around.

"A parking lot," he mumbled, closing his eyes… he knew where she was going with this… "Stephanie, please…" he started, already remembering that painful night.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we were in a parking lot together?" she asked in a quiet and yet incredibly cold voice, a tone that altogether tore at his heart. He swallowed heavily and nodded, not having the words anymore. "I thought you did… don't make me explain to you my reasoning because let me tell you, I have a huge fucking list. I told you your options, take your pick."

"I can't… Stephanie, I can't, those options aren't going to work for me," he said in a defeated tone.

"What else do you want from me?" she cried out in exasperation. "What else, Chris, could I possibly give you?"

"Your love," he answered in a low voice, looking back up at her eyes that were now shining with tears. She shook her head slowly as she let out a deep breath.

"Friendship or nothing," she repeated, although her voice was lacking its strength. She couldn't let him through her defenses, not so he could turn around and ruin her again. She refused to let him walk all over her, and she willed her resolve yet again. "I tried giving you that before, and you threw it back in my face… this is all I have left, don't make me give you more, because I can't."

He was silent for a long time, and Stephanie wondered if maybe he could hear her heart from where he was standing. Finally, he took a deep breath and exhaled, nodding slowly.

He was backed against a rock and a hard place. He hated this situation, he hated his options because neither of them gave him Stephanie in the way he needed to have her. But who was he to argue with her now? He was the idiot who pushed her away, so many times… one too many times… and if this was the price to pay, if this was what she wanted, then so be it.

He owed her that much.

"I guess… we can try being friends," he finally said with a strained smile. She let out a breath and nodded.

"Yeah… we can try," she repeated.

"Yeah…"

"Friends…"

"Yeah, we're friends now."

"We can maybe be good friends," she added, with a strained smile of her own. He instinctively took a step closer to her, and she tensed. He hesitated at that before frowning.

"Friends give hugs, right?" he said in a good-natured tone as he extended his arms. She stood her ground for a few more seconds, before stepping to him and letting him wrap his arms around her. She loved the way he always felt so warm and comfortable, and sighed against him.

_This is for the best, _she reminded herself.

Chris swallowed hard when he felt her body so close to his. He closed his eyes as he pulled her tightly against him, wanting so much to tell her how badly this arrangement would kill him on the inside…

Instead, he just held her close and tried to enjoy the moment.

* * *

Moments later, Chris was walking down a random hallway, trying to ignore the numb feeling that was running down his body. His mind just kept replaying so many nights with Stephanie… he sighed heavily as he remembered those nights when she had been his, completely and absolutely, back when they were sex-crazed towards the end of their business partnership. He had been so stupid not to sense it in the way she touched him… she had always wanted more from him.

And now that _he_ wanted more, now it was too late. He sighed again as Christian jogged up to him.

"Dude, where have you been?"

"Nowhere," Chris mumbled, and Christian looked at him in concern.

"Hey man, you okay?" he asked, and Chris just nodded, not in the mood to get into what happened with Christian of all people. He mentally cursed the fact that Lance had taken off early. He could really use a good talk with him right then and there. "Alright, I've just been looking all over for you."

"Well, I'm here now," Chris said, an edge in his voice as Christian raised his hands.

"Slow down there man, I just wanted to save your side of the bet."

"What bet?" At this, Christian practically gawked at him.

"Dude, the bet, _the bet, _come on man, wake the hell up!"

"Oh, yeah, what about it?" Chris asked, not really caring but wanting Christian off his back already.

"Well it turns out that Matt just totally dumped Lita, can you believe it! I'm so gonna move in for the kill now!" Christian exclaimed, pumping his fist triumphantly in the air. Chris just nodded as he feigned interest.

"That's nice, good for you."

"And I suggest that you go talk to Trish, she's really pissed at you, you know," Christian added, knowing that that would catch his friend's attention. And he was right.

"What? What the hell did I do?" Chris asked, exasperated now. First Stephanie, and now Trish? What was it with his damn luck with women?

"She thinks you set Lita up."

Chris groaned and rubbed his eyes, not believing his luck. He walked away from Christian, hearing the man call after him but not caring at that point in time. He had totally blown his chances with Stephanie, and some part of him couldn't take the thought of Trish also leaving him hanging high and dry. That would be too much of a harsh shot to the ego for Chris Jericho as he wandered in search of Trish.

He didn't have to search long before she finally came into his view. He took a deep breath, not realizing how much he was starting to rely on Trish to get him over Stephanie. Or at least, try his hardest to get over Stephanie. Maybe if he told her about their history, maybe that would make things better.

Or maybe in typical Chris Jericho fashion, that plan would blow up in his face.

"Trish, hey," he started, and she immediately whirled around to face him. A look of concern came over him when she saw the look of anger on his face. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Did you just see what happened to Lita!"

"Yeah, I saw it," he lied, nodding as he pretended to be interested in Lita. In all honesty, he really could care less, but he doubted that Trish wanted to hear that about her best friend.

"How could you set her up like that!"

"Trish, you've got it all wrong," he said rationally as he grabbed her arm. "I had no idea what Matt was going to do tonight."

"You're lying!"

"No, Trish, I'm serious," he said, trying not to start pleading with her. He'd had enough of that with Stephanie to last him for a lifetime. "I thought he was going to propose, I really had no idea…"

"You had no idea," Trish echoed, looking at him in disbelief. He sighed… why didn't anyone ever believe him when he was being honest?

"Come on Trish," he said, looking her straight in the eye, "I know she's your friend, I would never do that to her because I know it would hurt you."

"Yeah?" she asked, a hint of disbelief still there, although he could tell that he was starting to break through to her. He gave her a sympathetic look.

"Yeah, honest, I'd never do something like that," he said again as he took a step closer to her. She backed up a bit before realizing that she was against a wall, but she couldn't take her eyes off of him. His eyes instinctively went to her lips, and he once again wondered if she would pull away if he tried to kiss her… and once again, he thought of Stephanie.

_Just friends, huh? _he thought idly to himself as he leaned in closer to Trish. _If that's what you want…_

And in a move that very much mirrored Stephanie's kiss to Bischoff the year before, Chris leaned in all the way and caught Trish's lips in a kiss, without thinking twice about it. He tilted his head a bit as he leaned in more to the kiss, not rushing it, just exploring Trish's mouth and getting a taste of her for the first time. He felt a slight jolt pass through him when he did, before finally pulling away from her. He looked into her eyes to see if she had felt that too…

They both felt the cameraman leave, and they knew that millions had just witnessed their first real kiss. Even so, Chris didn't back away from Trish as they both continued to stare at each other.

"Did you feel that?" he asked in a low voice, and she nodded, before leaning up to him again, her hands on his chest as she pulled him closer by his open shirt. He didn't need more invitation, leaning down and kissing her again with more emotion this time as he pushed her back against the wall, feeling that jolt through him again.

He liked the feeling, but Lord help him, it was nothing compared to the sparks that Stephanie's kisses sent shooting through his body. But he would just have to start getting used to Trish… Trish was there for him, Stephanie wasn't, and those were his cold hard facts at the end of the day as he deepened his kiss with Trish, making her moan against his mouth.

Stephanie was walking around the corner just then, carrying a new latte for Bischoff, when she caught sight of a couple making out against the wall. Her lip curled back in disgust, until she recognized the clothing of the male in question… her breath caught in her throat as she dropped the latte, not able to take her eyes off of Chris as he made out heavily with Trish.

She stood there for who knows how long, a flash of jealousy overtaking her as she saw Trish run her hands through Chris's hair, pulling him in closer as she touched him wherever she wanted… she ignored the feeling, telling herself that he was no longer hers before steeling herself and turning away from them. She didn't notice the tears running down her face as she did, her sole thought at the moment to just put distance between them.

She refused to believe that this was her fault. He had been blatantly hitting on Trish for weeks, this was bound to happen. Better that it happened sooner rather than later. And it was a good thing too. It was a very good thing that she had decided to just be friends with him.

_It would have never worked out, _she reminded herself as she tried wiping away her tears.

But the thought did very little to ease her broken heart.


	14. Perfect

**November 24th, 2003**

"I don't know why I'm friends with you sometimes. You're so stupid."

"Gee thanks," Chris answered sarcastically. "Your support is overwhelming, really, don't knock yourself out with ways to help me."

Lance simply shook his head as he gazed at his fellow Canadian. The two were in Chris's locker room, the show already underway. And yet, Chris had no intentions of moving. He had no intentions of doing anything, really. He sighed for what must've been the tenth time that night as they fell into a comfortable silence together.

"Friends," Lance scoffed, shaking his head again. "You and Stephanie can never be friends."

"Yeah, well why don't you tell her that?" Chris snapped. "It wasn't my idea to be friends with her, I just had to take it or take nothing and cut my ties with her. What's your bright advice there, junior? Take nothing, huh?"

"You could have told her how you felt that night last year," Lance said bluntly. "Instead of taking it back like a jackass. You could have told her again at the Rumble. Or at Wrestlemania. Or at Summerslam…"

"I get the point," Chris mumbled, sighing again. "I had a million of opportunities, yeah, I get it, Lance. I'm an idiot, I got it, okay?"

"Good. You're starting to see the light," Lance said, nodding. "So what's the real problem here, Jericho, huh? You and Stephanie are friends, and you're going out now with Trish."

"We're not going out," Chris denied, shaking his head as he frowned. Sure, they were _making out, _but that wasn't the same thing. Trish was great and all, but he didn't feel committed to her in the slightest. He sighed again.

"Would you stop doing that!" Lance hissed, starting to get annoyed. "If you want Stephanie so badly, then you need to cut out this crap with Trish and just tell Stephanie how you feel."

"She doesn't want to hear it, how many times do I have to tell you? She never wants to hear it, she'll probably never want to hear it." He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. In that moment, his life felt so screwed up, and he didn't know how to fix things. He was close to dating someone he didn't care for in a romantic sense, and he was sworn to friendship with the woman he loved. That pretty much summed up his life that was spinning out of his control, too quickly for his liking.

"I guess what it comes down to is what do you want the most?" Lance stated rationally, noting how his friend was falling into deep thought. Even though he still felt Chris was an idiot for the way he was handling things, they were still friends, and he knew that it was better that Chris get advice from him than say, from Christian. "Jericho, do you want Stephanie?"

Lord, what a loaded question. Chris groaned into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut at the emotion that ran through him. Of course he wanted her. His feelings ran deep for her, dangerously deep, so much that he couldn't even start to put it into words…

"Do you?" He repeated. Chris lowered his hands as he looked up at Lance, not saying a word. Lance nodded. "I thought so."

"There's nothing I can do," Chris said in a dejected voice as he looked off to the side. "There's nothing that's going to change her mind…"

"Not with that mentality," Lance stated as he stood up. "Be a man, Jericho. Do the right thing already, you've waited long enough."

But Chris didn't answer him, he was lost in his own world. Lance shook his head and decided maybe it was best that he leave him alone. Chris didn't even notice that he was now by himself as he just gazed at the wall, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, leaning his head back … he didn't know how long he sat there, before he started to doze off…

_It was the night before the triple threat match with Hunter… the last real night they had spent together. He remembered her, how beautiful she'd been. No strings attached, yeah, right. Not on that night. On that night, everything had a hint of beautiful in it. Even the sex, the sex somehow meant something that night. It was the first time, and it was probably because they both weren't sure of what the next night would bring. It very well could have been their last night together._

_And in a lot of ways, it was just that… _

_Somehow, they had ended up on the floor. If Chris wasn't so out of breath, he would've laughed at that. Instead of feeling that satisfaction that came hand-in-hand with sex with Stephanie, he felt something different that night. Something was different, he just couldn't put his finger on it. He closed his eyes, forcing his racing heart to calm down, and forcing the emotion that was threatening to overtake him aside…_

_No strings attached… no strings attached… he kept telling himself that to get that through his mind, and yet, it just felt so different._

_And then, he felt her on him. She felt so perfect against him, her soft form against his firm one. He wasn't sure if she had gone and snuggled so close to him on her own, or if he had pulled her against him, and he just didn't care. It felt so right, so perfect, it was a moment that he could get lost in… he sighed when she rested her head on his chest, wondering when he had grown so attached to her._

"_I hope I didn't wear you out," Stephanie mumbled against his chest, and he laughed lightly at that._

"_You can never wear me out," he answered, making her smile when she did hear the fatigue in his voice. She closed her eyes when she felt him trail his fingertips lightly down her bare back, wondering where the hell the butterflies were coming from that were shooting through her. She sighed and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. He instinctively pulled her even tighter against his side as he sighed again._

"_Chris?" she asked, rubbing his bare chest a bit as he grunted, before trailing her hand over until she found his free hand, pulling it closer to her. She intertwined her fingers with his, playing with his hand. Even her hand looked perfect in his… "Have you ever thought about what the hell we're doing?"_

"_Uh huh…" _

_She looked up at him, sighing when she saw he was already falling asleep. She rested her head on his chest again, loving how calming it was to just lean against him and listen to him breathe. She closed her eyes, taking the moment in as she continued playing with his hand. The moment was so perfect, almost too perfect… _

"_You're great, Chris, have I ever told you that?" she said, letting his hand go and feeling him shift around a bit._

"_No, but there's a first time for everything," he answered. She looked up at him again, and he still had his eyes closed but there was a lazy smile on his face. She smiled at that and propped her head up on her hand, leaning on her elbow as she just looked at him. He really was beautiful to her. She could look at him all night long, he just looked amazing to her._

"_You really are something else, Chris Jericho," she said, and he opened his eyes at her tone. He looked up at her, and something stirred inside of him at the way she was looking at him. _

"_So are you…" he reached up and pushed away some of the hair that was hanging in her face. "You're beautiful."_

_She smiled at that, and he pulled her back down so she was resting against him again. She once again wrapped her arm around him, and he wrapped his own arm around her. He was tired, but he didn't want to sleep. He just wanted this moment to last forever… _

_He didn't know how long he lay there, gazing up at the ceiling, before it suddenly dawned on him that they were still on the floor. He glanced around, cursing their impulsive natures. He hated to move, but if he slept on the floor, he was going to be incredibly sore the next day. And with that triple threat match looming before him, he just couldn't take the chance._

"_Steph," he whispered, shaking her shoulder lightly. She mumbled against him but didn't move, and he lifted his head to look at her. She'd fallen asleep… he frowned at that, before slowly disentangling himself from her. She grabbed some sheets that they had dragged down with them and clutched them tightly to her as he sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. _

_He looked around and spotted his boxers that were still stuck with his jeans. He smirked a bit at that as he stood up and went over to pluck them out. Had she just taken it all off of him in one shot? He couldn't even remember anymore, all he remembered was her and her touch… he slipped his boxers on and turned back to look at Stephanie, freezing as soon as he did._

_It was the first time he had really taken a good look at her asleep, and she was beyond gorgeous to him in that instant. He once again felt that stirring feeling inside of him as he walked back over to her and kneeled down next to her, pulling the sheets over her. Leaning over a bit, he slipped his hands underneath her and gently scooped her up in his arms as he stood up. He looked at her for a moment, before heading over to the bed._

_He laid her down gently on the bed, and she instinctively rolled over onto her side, facing away from him as she took a deep breath in her sleep. An instant later, and he had climbed in on the other side, going over to her. He hesitated momentarily, but reached out to her and pulled her close to him. She immediately snuggled close against him as he threw some covers over both of them, before laying on his side so he was facing her…_

_It means nothing, he thought idly to himself, closing his eyes as he felt her wrap her arm around his midsection as she pulled even closer to him. _

"_Stephanie," he whispered, but she didn't answer as she continued sleeping. He sighed as he felt that perfect feeling creep through him yet again. He was content, things were perfect. How was it possible that casual sex could feel so right on this night? Why was the feeling of Stephanie's warm body so close to his giving him that stirring feeling again? _

_He looked at her again, and in that instant, he knew. He was falling for her, or maybe he had already fallen for her. He was too tired to think, so he just surrendered to the feeling and accepted it. He leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the lips, before setting in close against her, feeling the fatigue once again creep through him._

"_I love you," he said, already falling asleep..._

"Chris, wake up," someone said, shaking his shoulder.

"Huh?" he mumbled, not opening his eyes. It was a dream, but he wanted to stay in that dream, he wanted to stay asleep in that world… that world, where she was his...

He sighed and was starting to doze off again, when he felt someone straddle him. He groaned a bit as he lifted his head, still groggy from sleep when he felt someone take his face in their hands and kiss him. He was immediately transported back to his dream as he kissed back, pulling the girl closer to him, part of him still not realizing that this wasn't a dream… instead, he put his hands on the girl's hips, all the while picturing Stephanie in his mind…

"I love you," he mumbled against the girl's lips, and she immediately pulled back. He felt a bit dazed by no longer having the contact, and he finally opened his eyes to find himself staring into Trish's shocked expression. He scrunched his face a bit as he looked at her, wondering vaguely where Stephanie had gone…

"What?" Trish asked and he gave her a confused look.

"Huh?" he asked, finally getting some clarity. "What's wrong?"

"You said you loved me," she said, a smile coming to her face. His eyes widened at that. Now he _really _had some clarity…

"I did?" he asked as he chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, did you mean it?" she asked, her eyes searching his. He hesitated for a moment, finally realizing what had happened, and telling himself to say no to her. It was wrong, it was very wrong, he thought she was Stephanie…

Instead, he forced a smile and nodded, and she squealed and wrapped her arms around him as she hugged him. He sighed and hugged her back as he closed his eyes, not having the heart to tell her those words _were _meant, but meant for someone else…

* * *

"You gonna seal the deal tonight, CJ?" 

Chris rolled his eyes. "Sure, of course," he answered, mostly to get Christian off his back.

"Not if I score with Lita first," Christian snickered. "So you and Michaels teaming up tonight eh?"

"Yeah, don't remind me," Chris mumbled in disgust. "Damn Bischoff making me team with that bastard."

"You heard what Trish said though," Christian said with a smirk as he nudged Chris in the ribs with his elbow. "Do the right thing and you just might score tonight!"

And just then, Chris was struck with a brilliant idea. He slowly smirked and realized he didn't need to actually have sex with Trish to win this stupid bet he had somehow been suckered into. It wasn't like Christian would actually _watch _them go at it, so all he had to say was that he'd done it and just like, the stupid thing would be over. His smirk grew… he had a way out, he _wasn't _cornered in by a stupid bet.

He'd just have to play along…

"Hell yeah, after that match with Michaels," Chris snapped his fingers. "She'll be mine, and _I'll _be getting some Stratusfaction!"

"Please, Lita can't resist me, I'm hot stuff," Christian smirked as he flexed.

"I'm a sexy beast junior, no one can resist me, _especially _Trish, give me a break."

They both started laughing, even though Chris was just fooling around. He really just needed to end the bet with Christian before word of it got out. He wasn't an ass like that, he really did care about Trish and her feelings. Otherwise, why lie to her earlier? His laughter died as he remembered that, and he felt a familiar tinge of guilt at saying he loved her when he didn't really mean it…

"What's the joke?" Lance interrupted as he took a seat next to the two Canadians, who were sitting on some chairs that leaned up against a random hallway wall. "You know I always love a good joke."

Chris genuinely laughed at that. "Yeah, whatever, Storm."

"Seriously," Christian added. "Do you even know any jokes?"

"Of course," Lance responded, his face serious. "I used to do stand-up comedy in high school."

Chris and Christian both burst out laughing at the thought, and for the first time in a long time, Chris felt completely at ease. He was with his friends, where there didn't have to be petty drama, where he didn't have to think about how he felt about anything. He could just be himself and his friends would take him as he was, and that was a great feeling…

"I can just see it man, you must've been a regular Dane Cook," Chris joked.

"He strikes me more as a Chris Rock kind of comedian," Christian laughed, as Lance just snickered.

"Jericho, do me a favor and get me a cup of coffee, will you?" Lance asked, and Chris scoffed.

"Get it yourself, junior," he said in a smart-ass tone. Lance just stared at him, giving him a look, and Chris sighed. "Fine, I'll get you a stupid cup of coffee," he mumbled as he stood up.

"Hey, get me one too man, I could use one," Christian added as Chris rolled his eyes. Without another word, he walked off down the hallway towards the closest coffee machine that he knew was only a bit further down.

That's when he saw Stephanie. His heart skipped a beat as he suddenly realized that Lance didn't want a cup of coffee after all…

She sighed heavily as she mixed some sugar into a cup of coffee for Bischoff, wondering when he would start to give her a real job and quit having her be his personal slave or something. Honestly, that man seemed intent on breaking her pride, and he had almost succeeded her first night there. But she was slowly learning to play his game and bend his rules… for now though, she'd just have to suck it up.

She looked up to see where the bottle of creamer was, only to find it conveniently placed right in front of her. She looked down at the cup as she kept stirring, having seen the hand that had moved the creamer closer to her, a hand that she recognized very well…

"Not even going to say hello to me now?" he asked in a low voice. She continued to stir, albeit slower.

"Hello," she stated, not looking up at him. She didn't know if she could, not after seeing him making out with Trish the week before. But that was nonsense, if they were going to be friends, she would just haveto live with it… she snuck him a quick glance, before looking back down at the cup of coffee as if it truly intrigued her.

He reached out and grabbed his own cup, twirling it around a bit in his fingers. "So, how are you?" he asked in a friendly tone, and she just shrugged.

"Fine," she answered, and he nodded. "And you?"

"Great," he responded, looking down at his empty cup. In reality, he was anything but great. He hated this awkwardness, he hated trying to be her _friend _of all things…

"Have a match tonight?" she asked nonchalantly, mixing some creamer into the cup she was preparing for Bischoff.

"Yeah, teaming with Shawn," he sighed, and she looked over at him. She could still read him, and she knew something was wrong with him… _a friend would ask what's wrong, _she reminded herself, but she didn't want to hear his answer… and so she just nodded.

"Ouch," she said, sympathetic because she knew he couldn't stand Shawn Michaels. "Good luck then."

"Thanks," he said with a forced smile. She gave him a small smile before turning and walking away, and he couldn't help but sigh as he watched her… what he wouldn't give to somehow go back in time to that one night, that one night where it was so much more than sex to him, that one perfect night…

* * *

"What was up with the look on your face tonight while you were walking up the ramp?" Trish teased later that evening as she walked out into the parking lot with Chris. He smiled and wrapped an arm loosely around her waist. 

"You know me, I always gotta give the fans a show," he said with a wink. "They probably think we're gonna go out and do it tonight or something."

"Yeah, thanks a lot," she said sarcastically, although she smiled afterwards. "Now I'm going to have people asking me how you are in bed."

"Oh, well that one's easy," he said as his voice deepened, pulling her a bit closer to him. "Just tell them I'm the best."

"And how would I know this? I've never slept with you, so therefore, making such a claim would make me a liar," she said matter-of-factly, although there was a hint of flirting in her voice.

"I'm a _huge _rock star," he said with a smirk, and she playfully shoved him away.

"You're gross," she laughed as they reached her car. He just shrugged.

"I'm honest," he pointed out, his smirk widening as she turned to gaze at him. He simply looked back at her, feeling her trying to read him, and wondered if she really could. He knew that Stephanie was equipped with the innate ability to do so…

"You know, I was proud of you after the way you handled yourself tonight, teaming with Shawn Michaels," she said, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, you did turn on him at the end," she said with a frown. "But you saved the match for your team, and I think that's the best I can expect from you," she finished with the hint of a smile on her face as he nodded.

"Good, I'm glad," he answered as he gave her his best smile. She stepped up closer to him and he tensed as she grabbed the front of his t-shirt and brought him down a bit, capturing his lips in a kiss. He sighed into her kiss, not wanting to pull away because he didn't want to hurt her, but not really feeling her kiss that night…

She reluctantly pulled away, still staying close enough to him so that she could feel his warm breath near her. She smiled when he didn't pull away…

"Thanks for what you said tonight," she said as she gazed into his blue eyes. "I really care about you, Chris."

"Ditto," he said with a lazy smile as he watched her. It wasn't a lie… he really did care about her. That was why he couldn't grow a backbone to crush her and move onto Stephanie. He cared, and he didn't want to ruin the trust that was starting to build up between them. He sighed, thinking that maybe he really should just forget about Stephanie. Looking down at Trish, who was gazing at him almost adoringly, it really made the thought enticing…

She gave him a quick peck on his lips before cupping his chin in one hand playfully as she let go of his shirt.

"You be good, Chris Jericho," she said in a teasing tone as she let him go and opened the door to her car. "Stay out of trouble."

"Always…"

* * *

Stephanie was mumbling curses under her breath as she dragged her bag along behind her, trudging along into the parking lot. She took a long around, wondering where in the hell her limo driver was, before feeling a hand on her shoulder that made her jump. She spun around and found herself looking at a face that she wanted to just ram into a barbed wire fence. 

"What is it now?" she demanded, and he chuckled.

"Stephanie, is that any way to talk to your boss?" Bischoff said, shaking his head. She turned and gave him her back.

"I'm done working tonight," she said evenly, and he scoffed.

"You're never done, that's why you got run off the job on Smackdown, you're not dedicated," he sneered, making her roll her eyes.

"Whatever…"

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I hope you can get a cab tonight, because my limo driver couldn't make it so I'm going to be borrowing yours tonight," he said with a smirk as she immediately whirled around to face him.

"Oh no you're not, you can catch a damn cab, you're not taking my limo!" she screeched, at her wits end with this man before her. He just laughed as he saw the limo pulling up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that!" he said with a wide smirk. "Now if you'll _excuse _me, my limo awaits…"

Stephanie could do nothing but stare and fume as she watched him walk over to the limo that was supposed to give _her _a ride. But honestly, what could she possibly do? She sighed, running one hand through her hair as she lowered her gaze to the ground. This night was just not her night. She watched as Bischoff climbed into her limo, even having the audacity to give her a short wave, before the limo pulled away into the night…

Half an hour later and Stephanie found herself out near the street, trying to wave down a taxi. She tried her hardest to ignore how embarrassing of a situation this was for her, standing on the street as she waited for a taxi to appear. It was late, and unfortunately for her, she had been one of the last to leave the arena. Just then, she thought she saw a taxi approaching, but it was just a random car, shattering her hopes. The car zoomed right past her and unfortunately for her, drove right over a huge puddle of water and splashed her with it.

She shrieked in disgust as she looked down at herself, before stooping down to pick up a rock and throwing it at the car that splashed her. Unfortunately, her aim wasn't good and the rock didn't even come close. She angrily wiped the dirty water off her arms, already feeling the bitter tears of hatred towards Bischoff sting her eyes. She was so busy trying to clean herself off, to no avail, that she didn't notice the black rental that had pulled up right in front of her.

"You look like you could use a friend."

Her head immediately snapped up as she recognized that voice. She bent over a bit to peer at the driver, someone she knew all too well… not even hesitating, she grabbed her bag and walked over to the car, opening the door and climbing in.

Chris took her in as she climbed in next to him, not saying a word as he drove off, the two falling into a comfortable silence. He could tell that she was frustrated, and so he let her deal with it on her own. He was just happy that he was close to her again, sighing when he remembered his earlier dream… perfection, that night had been perfection. If he had been blessed with the power of foresight that night, he would've done things a lot differently…

But that was in the past, and this, this farce of a friendship was his present, his reality. And so they rode on in silence…

Moments later, Chris parked his car in the hotel parking lot, and Stephanie looked over at him gratefully. He just offered her a small smile, before stepping out of the car as she did the same. He walked over to her side and simply waited for her… he reached out and took her bag, before offering her his hand, which she took, once again giving him a grateful look.

"Thanks, Chris," Stephanie said, and he smiled at the sincerity in her voice.

"It's nothing," he said as he lead her towards the hotel, not noticing that he was still holding her hand in his. She noticed, but didn't say anything, just following him inside. Before she knew it, they were in the elevator together… still holding hands. She looked down at her hand in his, and was reminded of a long time ago when she thought their hands looked perfect together.

"You're a great friend," she said in a lame attempt to start a conversation with him. He just sighed at that and didn't respond as the elevator opened, and they stepped out together.

"You're on this floor, right?" he said as he looked around.

"Yeah, this way," she said, turning and walking down the hallway, not letting go of his hand as he obediently trailed right behind her. And just like that, they were standing in front of her door as she hesitantly pulled away from his hand.

"Well, you're here now, home sweet home," he said with a smile.

"Seriously, Chris, thank you," she said as she smiled back at him.

"Don't mention it," he said, brushing it off.

They stood there for a long, awkward moment, just staring at each other… Chris not in a rush to leave, and Stephanie somehow finding herself unable to walk into her hotel room, even after unlocking it, not able to take her gaze off of him… it was taking all of his self-restraint to stand still, and it was taking all of hers to not drag him into her hotel room...

Suddenly, he let out a breath he had been holding, saying to hell with itas he grabbed her and pulled her to him, his lips on hers as he kissed her hungrily. She kissed him back just as eagerly, not caring about Trish or their stupid "just friends" agreement… he was hers, and he would always be hers, their connection couldn't be denied, at least not on this night… when she felt him wrap his strong arms around her and pull her tighter again him, she gave up on thinking altogether as they somehow managed to stumble into her room together.

Chris kicked the door closed behind him, never breaking his kiss with her, never wanting to break it as he entangled his fingers in her hair. He knew he'd feel guilty over doing this to Trish in the morning, but he just didn't care anymore. He wanted her, he wanted her for one more night. And by the way she was responding to him, she wanted him to… he could feel her need, and part of him wanted to know if this would mean a thing to her, but he didn't have time to think about things like that, not with Stephanie kissing him the way she was at that moment…

He pulled away from her just long enough to yank his shirt off, before he lifted her back up into his arms as she wrapped her legs around him. He had had her so many times, and yet, she still drove him absolutely crazy with desire… she was like his addiction he realized, as he led her into the bedroom without a word, and without any kind of resistance. They both collapsed together on her bed, and he sighed when he felt her hands on him again…

Perfection was his again, at least for one more night.


	15. The Bet

**A/N: **Own no one…

* * *

**December 1st, 2003**

_Friends with benefits… maybe it's for the best. Don't get the wrong idea, Chris. I didn't regret a second of it. But I need time to think about us and where we're going, and I didn't want to wake you. But I'm sure we'll be talking soon._

_Stephanie_

Chris scowled as he reread her note. _Friends with benefits? _He was no stranger to the arrangement after his many years on the road. Hell, most of the time he himself had suggested the phrase when he felt a girl was getting way too attached to him emotionally. But to have someone suggest it to him, it was almost unheard of, and he hated it.

_I'm coming on too strong, _he thought, sighing heavily with disappointment. He had tried a few times now to tell her how he felt, to show her even, and he kept getting nothing in return. Nothing except a stupid offer of friendship that he thought had been shot to hell after their night together the week before. He licked his lips at the memory of that night, thinking how sweet it had been to have her again, in what he thought was the end to the stupid cat-and-mouse game they were playing for going on almost two years.

Instead, he'd woken up to find her gone already, a note on her pillow in some twisted kind of replacement… the same note he still carried with him. He didn't know why he was carrying it around, pulling it out every now and then to read it one more time. He didn't want to overanalyze it, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but hang on to the shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, what she needed to think about would result in something good for him…

_Don't be stupid, _he silently warned himself as he picked up his notebook that was lying next to him. Getting his hopes up wouldn't help him in the slightest. It was best to anticipate the worst, that way she wouldn't totally kill his heart if she said something he didn't want to hear… like being serious about being "friends with benefits."

He scoffed at the notion as he flipped open his notebook, flipping through the pages devoted to her, the lyrics inspired by her, before finding a clean page. He reached down into his bag in front of him, shoving through his things until he found his wrist tape. Bringing it up, he pulled out a piece of it and ripped it off with his teeth, before dropping it back in his bag. He took her note and carefully taped it into his notebook, staring at it for a long time…

_Friends with benefits. _He closed his eyes as he closed the notebook, sighing and leaning his head back against the wall in his locker room as he gripped the notebook tightly in his hands.

He didn't _want _to be friends with benefits, not with Stephanie, not ever_… _what could possibly make her want to have this kind of arrangement with him? The only answer he could come up with was one that he didn't want to accept…

She just didn't want him the same way he wanted her. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and he didn't want to see it, but it rang horribly true to him. It was the only explanation he could come up with, and he hated it. He hated it, he hated the situation, and part of him even hated her for putting him through this.

"Why do you do this to me?" he mumbled to himself in the empty locker room…

* * *

Stephanie smiled as she headed into Bischoff's office, only to find it empty. She had woken up in an inexplicably good mood, and it was a breath of fresh air for her, one she wanted to relish while it lasted. Not even the thought of working directly under Bischoff could kill her good mood. Hell, not even the thought of running into a certain blue-eyed Canadian could kill her mood… 

Actually, it was quite the contrary. The thought of him made her smile even more… for two of the last three weeks, he had assumed the role of her knight in shining armor, and she for one appreciated it. Of course, there _was _that week where he had been making out with Trish Stratus… picturing them together immediately made her smile disappear as she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus. The mere thought disgusted Stephanie…

The feeling only strengthened her resolve, stirring her to action. She had thought long and hard about her relationship with Chris over the past week – if you could call what they had a relationship. And she kept coming back to the same conclusion, regardless of how long or how hard she thought about it, the result was always the same.

He was the one.

It had taken a long time for her to come to terms with that simple truth. A lazy smile came to her face at the thought of how this night was supposed to end. She would walk in, smack him upside his head for putting her heart through the ringer, then kiss him until neither of them could breathe anymore… and then, then she would confess her feelings, and he'd confess his, and they would live happily ever after, get married, have kids…

Yeah, maybe it wouldn't work out like that. She wasn't expecting such a perfect ending; she had given up on perfect endings a long time ago when it came to romance. But if she could just have him, completely have him, then that would be perfect to her and she would embrace that.

But first, she would have to end their charade of a friendship… in hopes of gaining something so much better. With that thought, she left her belongings in Bischoff's office, before leaving and starting her search for Chris's locker room.

* * *

Chris groaned when he heard the sharp knocking on his door, not feeling like moving. He sat there a little longer, before he heard it again. 

"Who is it?" he called out angrily. He wasn't in the mood for company.

"It's me."

A moment later, and he was at the door. He opened it and ignored the guilt that passed through him as Trish smiled up at him. He forced a smile on his own face as he stepped back a bit.

"Come in," he said, extending his arm to his locker room. "Welcome to the king's castle."

"Why thank you," she said as he closed the door behind her. "Did you hear about our match tonight?"

"We have a match?" he asked with surprise as she reached for his hand. He instinctively gave it to her, ignoring the feeling that it should've been Stephanie's hand. Trish led him over to the couch, where she sat down and he followed suit. He gave her a confused look. "Like a tag team match?"

"Of course, what, did you want to face me in a match?" she joked, already hearing his witty retort in her head. Instead, he just leaned back on the sofa and looked away from her.

"Yeah, that was stupid, of course it's a tag team match," he said, and Trish's look turned to one of concern as she pulled on his hand a little bit.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, and he nodded, still not looking at her.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking," he mumbled as he ran his free hand through his hair. He didn't even have the nerve to look at her after what he did the week before with Stephanie. It was weird, this feeling of guilt, especially over something he didn't regret. But Trish didn't deserve that, and it made him feel low that she was getting so attached, when his heart was with someone else.

"Chris, come on… something's bothering you, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly. It wasn't like him to be so detached, and she could tell something was weighing heavily on his mind.

"It's nothing," he stated, forcing himself to look at her. "Really, don't worry about it," he added with a small smile.

"You can talk to me if you need to," she said, her look of concern still ever-present as he sighed.

"I just have a headache," he said, and it wasn't a complete lie. Thinking about Stephanie always made his head ache, even though it never compared to the ache in his heart. He closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his head. "I'll be fine, don't worry about me, Trish…"

"I'll make you feel better," she said in a caring tone that shot Chris's guilt up even higher. He was about to protest as she let go of his hand, not wanting her help, before she felt him lean him forward a bit.

"What are you…" his voice trailed as she started to massage his shoulders, and he closed his eyes at the contact. He was immediately transported back in time to one night when Stephanie had massaged his shoulders before their match, but there was something different in Trish's touch. Not necessarily better, but different. Stephanie's touch was relaxing, but Trish's was comforting as she worked on his tense muscles.

"Told you I'd make you feel better," she said and he could hear the smile in her voice. He opened his eyes and looked over at her, and it was as though he was seeing her for the first time. It was the first time he really noticed her brown eyes, and he saw something in those eyes that he'd never seen before.

"I love your touch," he told her genuinely, noticing how her eyes almost seemed to light up at his claim. He couldn't help but smile at that as he took her hand in his, for the first time that night, not thinking about Stephanie.

"Good, I'm glad I could be of service," she responded flirtatiously, butterflies fluttering in her stomach as he leaned in close to her. There was something different in the way he was looking her, but she didn't have time to figure out before he leaned in and kissed her.

For the first time in a long time, Chris didn't feel like he hurt anymore as he snaked his arm around her, pulling her closer to him. She didn't need more invitation as she wrapped her arms around his neck as they both deepened the kiss…

Stephanie was walking down the hallway, scanning each door as she looked for his locker room. She was feeling antsy, and could feel her hands sweating. She tried picturing her perfect ending as she rubbed her hands impatiently on her dress pants, cursing under her breath. Her perfect ending felt so close, so within her reach, and yet every bit of intuition was telling her not to get her hopes up.

Finally, she found herself standing in front of his locker room. She took a deep breath, bracing herself… she shook her head and mentally berated herself. What the hell was the big deal?

She lifted her hand to knock, before hearing someone clear their throat.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

She looked over to the side where she saw Lance Storm sitting on a steel chair as he read a newspaper. He didn't bother looking up, missing the brunette sneer at him as she put her hands on her hips.

"And why the hell not?" she demanded, as he turned a page.

"Trish is in there," he said bluntly. "I saw her go in, so I'm here waiting for her to leave. You should probably do the same."

The mention of Trish's name stirred anger inside of Stephanie, but not as much anger as having someone like Lance Storm give her advice on what she should and shouldn't do. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to open the door, instead folding her arms over in front of her as she remembered the night two weeks ago when she had walked in on them making out. It was painful… something she didn't need to subject herself to again.

"Good, you're not going in," Lance said as he looked over at her from over his newspaper. "You have more brain cells than Jericho, I see."

"Whatever," she muttered, still staring at the door. Lance quietly folded over his newspaper, before tossing it onto the floor next to him as he stood up.

"If you want to talk to him, I can tell him to go see you later," he suggested in what he hoped was a friendly tone, but his tone was the same it always was. Stephanie glanced at him, giving him a questioning look. He just stared back at her, noting how very similar she was to Chris. Yes, in his mind, the two were a perfect match.

"Alright," she said uneasily as she looked back at the door, trying hard not to picture what was going on in there. "You tell him then."

"I will," he said with a nod, and she turned and walked away without a word…

Meanwhile, Trish was thoroughly enjoying the feel of Chris kissing and touching her. There was something about his touch that she couldn't figure out, but she could get very used to it. Reluctantly, she started pulling away from him, but as soon as she would try to break their kiss, he would lean back in and just start kissing her all over again.

"Chris," she breathed, pulling away as he groaned from no longer having that contact. "The show, our match," she said, trying to catch her breath.

He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing she'd just keep kissing him. When she was with him, he could forget about Stephanie. He could forget about how much her supposed arrangement hurt, he could just forget everything and focus on how sweet Trish's lips tasted. If only she hadn't left him that night, if only she'd answered his calls, if only, if only, if only…

Trish ran a hand through his hair, and he looked over at her. She gave him a charming smile, one that he instinctively returned.

He was starting to get tired of the "if only's"…

Lance was leaning against the wall next to Chris's locker room, and was seconds away from barging in and kicking Trish out when she finally stepped out. She had a smile on her face as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and headed down the hallway, not even noticing him standing there. He scoffed a bit to himself, before pushing open the door and heading into the locker room.

Chris was sitting on the sofa, one hand at his mouth as he leaned forward a bit, looking like he was concentrating on something. His free hand was holding a notebook close to him… Lance gave him a curious look when he didn't even notice him come in. He cleared his throat, and Chris glanced up in surprise.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, standing with his notebook as he headed over to his bag to put it away.

"Stephanie wants to see you," Lance answered bluntly, and Chris whirled around at the words, almost dropping his notebook in the process. He tossed it over so it landed in his bag, before walking over to Lance.

"Did she talk to you?" he demanded, and Lance was almost taken aback by the tone in his friend's voice… it was just so reminiscent of Stephanie. He chuckled lightly to himself, noting the flash of anger in Chris's eyes. "Well, did she?"

"Yeah, while you were in here doing who knows what with the girl you call a girlfriend, yeah, she came by to see you."

"Damn it," Chris mumbled to himself under his breath as he brushed past Lance, quickly exiting his locker room. He thought he heard Lance saying something to him, but he didn't hear it anymore. Much like the feel-good comfort that Trish brought him had disappeared with the mere mention that Stephanie wanted to see him. His heart started racing at what she could possibly want to see him for.

Twenty minutes passed, and he couldn't find her anywhere. He cursed loudly, slamming his fist against a wall, and then wincing at the pain that shot up his arm.

"Fuck!" he hissed, shaking his hand angrily, before rubbing his fist with his other hand as he bent over a bit, more from frustration than from the pain.

"You keep doing that, and it won't help your win-loss record," he heard a voice say from behind him. He spun around, and found himself making eye contact with Stephanie. She was holding a clipboard in one hand and had a headset around her neck as she gazed at him curiously.

"Where the hell have you been!" he cried out, still rubbing his fist as Stephanie narrowed her eyes angrily at him.

"Nice to see you too, Chris," she said as she rolled her eyes and he cursed under his breath. He sighed and let go of his hand, as he took a step towards her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, taking another step closer as Stephanie raised an eyebrow. "Lance said you wanted to talk to me," he said in a much more controlled voice as she sighed.

"Well, I do, but your match is coming up and I have some things to get done right now…" her voice trailed, and he looked down and nodded. There was an awkward silence, as Stephanie struggled for the words to say to him. "Chris," she started, and he immediately looked back up at her.

"Yeah?" he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Did you get that note I left you?" she asked, kicking herself for not saying what she really wanted to say.

"Yeah, about that…" he started, stepping even closer to her. She forced her breathing to stay normal as she kept her cool gaze on him.

"We should talk about it," she suggested, trying not to shudder when she noticed his gaze was fixed on her lips.

"We should…" he agreed, licking his own lips, making her bite her lip as she tried retaining her composure.

"Your match, Chris," she said, suddenly taking a step back to his incredible disappointment. He sighed and nodded, looking off to the side.

"Yeah, I better go find Trish," he mumbled, more to himself than to her. She sucked in her teeth a bit at the mention of the Toronto native, before nodding.

"Can we talk later?" she asked, and he tried not to smile at the suggestion.

"Sure, we'll talk later," he agreed in a cool voice, not looking back at her and instead turning to walk away. He didn't want her to see how much he wanted to know what she wanted to say to him. He accepted that she yielded an insane amount of control over him, but he'd be damned to flaunt it. His pride wouldn't allow it… he would just go to her later and see what it was that she wanted, and hopefully, it wouldn't break him any worse.

Stephanie watched him walk away, hating that he didn't even give her a glance back in her direction. She didn't have time to think about it before her headset cackled to life, and she sighed as she put it back on to see what Bischoff wanted this time…

* * *

"Dude what is the deal!" Christian exclaimed, putting an arm around Chris's shoulders as Chris laughed. 

"What are you talking about?" he asked, although he couldn't keep the smirk off his face.

"Come on man, I saw you out there in that match, you were totally putting the moves on Trish! What's up man," Christian nudged Chris in the ribs with his elbow, "You gonna hit that tonight?"

"Whatever," Chris said as he rolled his eyes. "You with that stupid bet."

"You say that because you _know _I'm gonna win!" Christian said arrogantly as they headed back to Chris's locker room. "You've been working on Trish for forever and she's never gonna give it to you, give it up, CJ."

Chris snickered, not one to back down from anybody – much less Christian of all people. He pushed open the door to his locker room and went to grab a towel from his bag.

"Yeah, and what the hell have you done with Lita, huh assclown?" Chris demanded, and Christian scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Are you kidding me! I've done a hell of a lot more than you have with Trish, let me tell you! Lita just can't resist this," he said with a smirk as he flexed. Chris chuckled as he went and stood in front of Christian, shaking his head.

"Looks like she's doing a damn good job," he shot back in a smart-ass tone as Christian snorted.

"I'm so totally gonna seal this deal tonight, I mean did you see my match with Lita, huh? We had a _moment_," he said in a mocking tone. "She's so falling for me, this bet is just done."

Chris shook his head lightly in amusement, before deciding to join in on the fun.

"Have you even seen Trish with me?" he demanded with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "She's been falling for everything I've been saying to her for weeks, it's pathetic!"

"Please," Christian scoffed. "Trish, Trish is a prude my friend… now Lita, Lita is _extreme!"_

"Well I am _definitely _going to win this bet, because I am going to nail Trish before you can nail Lita!" Chris shouted confidently, trying not to laugh at the stupid claim as he played along with Christian.

Just outside the door, Trish's grip tightened on the jersey that she had custom-made for Chris as tears came to her eyes…

However, not everyone who was listening in to the conversation took the news so hard. There was one person that was taking it rather well. Yes, if Stephanie had been in a good mood when she came into work, she was now on cloud nine.

It was a bet. It was all a bet. Oh, she wanted to skip down the hallways and shout it loud and proud. She wanted to go out and announce it to the fans. She wanted to spray-paint it on a random hallway. It was a bet, which meant only one thing…

Trish meant nothing to Chris. Her smile was so wide that it was starting to hurt, but she just couldn't wipe it off her face. Chris was hers. She had felt it the week before, and the feeling was back. He had been using Trish all along. Oh it was just too good to be true…

She couldn't _wait_ to have her chat with Chris later.

* * *

Chris was tying his shoes as Lance and Christian argued over something, but he wasn't paying attention. He was trying to think about what the conversation with Stephanie would entail… he hated to be in anticipation for anything, and part of him was also vaguely wondering why Trish hadn't come to see him after their match. He usually walked her out at the end of the show, and he was now starting to get more comfortable with her. He frowned and wondered why she hadn't even called, when the argument his friends were having suddenly drew him in… 

"You're pathetic, making that kind of bet."

"Who cares man? You're just jealous that you weren't invited to be in it."

"I can't believe you're friends with this idiot," Lance said, suddenly turning his attention to Chris, who sighed.

"Hey pal, who the hell are you calling an idiot?" Christian demanded angrily as Chris stood up and picked up his duffel bag.

"Would you two just shut the hell up? What the hell are you arguing about now?"

"The fact that you should be with Stephanie," Lance answered matter-of-factly as Chris's eyes widened in surprise. Christian snorted loudly at the claim.

"I'm sick and tired of seeing CJ mope around over that chick," he said as he rolled his eyes. "And since _I'm _his tag team partner, I say go for it with Trish, what Trish doesn't know ain't gonna hurt her!"

"That's stupid, you're both a couple of morons," Lance said in disgust, before walking out of the locker room altogether. Christian waved him off with one hand before turning back to Chris, who was frowning.

"Whatever man, don't listen to him," he said as he walked over to Chris and patted his shoulder. "You don't need Stephanie, I mean, didn't you say you were gonna nail Trish tonight?"

Chris looked at him and scowled, pulling away from his touch. "I wasn't serious you dumbass, how many times have I told you that I really do care about her?"

"So then you don't care about Stephanie."

"Not what I said," Chris sighed. "I need to go talk to her right now, I said I'd talk to her tonight."

"Aw come on man, you're not going to see Stephanie, are you?" Christian whined as Chris rolled his eyes.

"Of course I am," he answered nonchalantly and Christian groaned. "I need to see her."

"Alright, whatever, do whatever the hell you want," he said with exasperation, but Chris was already heading out the door…

* * *

_Hi, Stephanie. How are you today? Have I told you lately how much I love you?_

Lame…

_Stephanie, hey baby, showed you a damn good time last week now didn't I? You wanna go again?_

Tasteless…

_I don't want to be "friends with benefits," not when I love you… _

He sighed as he stared at Bischoff's office door, thankful his boss had already left. He tried running through what he would say to her in his mind, but nothing sounded right. He decided he was just going to wing it as he cleared his throat and hesitantly stepped inside, leaving his duffel bag by the door.

Stephanie didn't notice him coming in as she pressed her headset closer to her ear, trying to make out what one of the workers was telling her. Her back was to the door as she put her free hand on her hip while she gazed down at a clipboard lying on Bischoff's desk. She frowned when all she could hear was static coming through the headset.

She was suddenly startled when she felt someone close behind her. Before she could turn around though, a familiar arm came around her stomach and pulled her against a familiar chest. She smiled and leaned back against him as he pulled off her headset with his free hand, before leaning in to kiss her neck. She sighed in content as he slipped his hand slowly up her shirt, teasing her skin as he worked his way up…

"God, Chris," she mumbled and he took a breath to steady his breathing, part of him hating how hearing her say his name like that drove him crazy. He closed his eyes as he continued to caress, to kiss, completely forgetting about their supposed talk. He just wanted to touch her, to pretend like she was his… to pretend like she actually cared.

That thought sobered him a bit as he stopped kissing her. She opened her eyes, a bit dazed from his contact and wondering why he'd stopped kissing her, when she felt him pull her even tighter against him as he wrapped his other arm around her. Something fluttered inside of her when she realized that he was just hugging her to him, holding her firmly against him as he leaned his forehead against the back of her head.

"Chris," she started, as she rubbed his arms that were wrapped around her midsection in an almost possessive manner.

"Yeah?" he mumbled from behind her, not wanting to let her go. "You wanted to talk, right?"

"Yeah, about us," she started, and he felt his heart start to pound harder in his chest. He forced himself to swallow, closing his eyes as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

"Friends with benefits is what you said," he forced himself to say in a very cool and casual manner, and she nodded, still caressing his arms. She shook her head slightly, knowing that that wasn't what she wanted…

"Before we begin that," she said, her smile coming back to her face. "Chris, let me tell you that you never cease to amaze me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, biting his lip and restraining himself from starting to kiss her again. Tonight was for talking, and if she said what he wanted to hear, there'd be plenty of time for all of that later… nevertheless, he couldn't help but caress the skin on her stomach as he trailed lazy circles with his fingers. It was a gesture he didn't think twice about, but it was tempting Stephanie to just jump him and talk later…

She forced herself to stay calm, taking in the moment of being in his arms.

"This whole thing with Trish, God Chris, that was so amazing," she said wistfully, and he lifted his head away from hers in surprise and confusion.

"What about Trish?" he asked, not putting two and two together yet. Stephanie chuckled lightly as she took one of his hands in hers and intertwined their fingers together, loving how he instinctively tightened the grip on her hand.

"It was all a bet," she said in content, smirking at the thought. "You were leading her on all along… how awesome is that, Chris?"

"What?" he asked, feeling like he was suddenly struggling to breathe as his mouth felt dry. "Who told you about that?"

"Oh sweetie," Stephanie said as she played with his hand. "_Everyone _knows about it, we all saw your conversation with Christian live, oh it was brilliant… and then Trish heard it live too, she was crying and in tears, oh, my heart was breaking," she said with a note of sarcasm as she continued playing with his hand. She waited a few moments for his response, but it never came. "Chris?" she asked as she turned a bit to look at him.

He looked completely dazed as he stood there, and Stephanie found herself concerned as she shook his hand out a bit.

"Chris?"

"Everyone knows," he mumbled in disbelief, and she got herself out of his embrace which had loosened considerably. She looked back at him in concern.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, touching his face a bit with her hand. He blinked a bit and then pulled away from her hand, taking a step back away from her.

"It was a joke," he said in a low voice as he gazed down at the floor, shaking his head. "It was a joke… I was never serious about it…"

"The bet was a joke?" Stephanie asked, reaching out for him again but he pulled away. She tried to ignore the hurt that she felt when he did, shifting uncomfortably. "So it wasn't for real then?"

"No it wasn't for real!" he snapped, missing her wince at his tone as he ran his hands through his hair. "Oh my God, she heard us talking," he mumbled to himself as he started pacing. "She must think I'm such an asshole…"

"Well… you can always tell her it was a joke," Stephanie said in a soft voice, becoming more and more aware that Trish obviously meant something to Chris. He let out a forced, bitter laugh at the suggestion.

"Like it's that easy," he scoffed, continuing to pace as he groaned loudly. "I can't believe this, I should have _never _agreed to that stupid bet!"

"Then why did you?"

"I don't know, all right!" he shouted at her, and she scowled at him.

"Don't come in here snapping at me about ruining your precious relationship with Trish! You did that all by yourself!"

"Why the hell do you think I even went after Trish in the first place!" he shouted again, louder this time as he grew more frustrated, his face starting to turn red from his anger. He glared at Stephanie as he stopped pacing. "It was because of you!"

"Oh, here we go with this shit again, blame it all on me!" she shouted back at him, her pride driving her emotion.

"You know what, I am sick and tired of you leading me on all the time!"

"Is that what it is? I lead you on! I lead _you _on!" This time, she was the one who let out a bitter laugh. "Oh now THAT is rich, Chris Jericho, what the hell am I to you? Your damn scapegoat for anything that goes wrong with you?"

"I'm tired of this bullshit," he stated in a low and dangerous tone as he clenched his fists. "You want to be friends, now you want to be friends with benefits, well fuck that! Trish is the one who's actually been there for me, not you!"

Stephanie steeled herself not to cry, but she could already feel the tears coming to her eyes. "Fine then, since you care so fucking much about that bimbo, go after her then! See how much she gives a shit about you after what you did tonight!"

"She doesn't deserve this," he said as he shook his head, not even seeing the tears in Stephanie's eyes at his harsh words. "I have to talk to her, I have to talk to her…" he mumbled to himself, cursing that this would happen to him. He had known someone was bound to get hurt in this game, but he'd be damned to have it be this way. He immediately headed over to the door, reaching for the handle.

"What about us?"

He stopped, not looking back as he closed his eyes. He was torn between the woman he loved and the woman that he cared about that was probably devastated by his acts of stupidity. He sighed heavily.

"What _about_ us, Stephanie?" he said evenly in a tone that came across as cold to Stephanie. "You're the one who said you wanted to be _friends, _right? So I guess we're _friends. _What else do you want from me?"

_You don't even care the same way I care, or you wouldn't let me go… _he reached out and put his hand on the handle of the door, before waiting for Stephanie's response.

To say that Stephanie was caught off guard by the show of emotion towards Trish would be a tremendous understatement. She hated to think it, but it looked to her like he really cared… the thought made her tears escape as she stared at his back, feeling her heart break at the thought that she had driven him into another woman's arms. She had been so sure that he didn't care, but it was so obvious that he did…

"Nothing," she answered, surprising herself with how strong and resolute her voice sounded. He squeezed his eyes shut at her response, telling himself that he had always braced himself for the worst. Trish finding out about the bet was something he had never anticipated. He could stay up all night trying to figure out Stephanie, but he was giving up. He could feel it deep inside… he was giving up.

Without a word, he left the office, once again not even looking back at Stephanie. She covered her eyes with one hand as she fought her tears, not wanting to believe that she had pushed him too far. She had waited so long to realize that he was the one…

Maybe too long.


	16. Christmas Dance

**A/N: **Own no one... :)

---

**Saturday, December 27th, 2003**

Christmas was a season that was supposed to be filled with laughter and cheer. It was the season of giving, of turning back to your loved ones and showing them that you cared. It was definitely a time that was supposed to make you feel warm inside, like you belonged. People took vacations and threw parties, and there would be a big tree with lots of bright and colorful decorations, and maybe some mistletoe for a happy couple to kiss under. It was supposed to be a happy time.

And yet, Chris Jericho had never been more miserable in his entire life.

He was slouched in his seat at a table, the only sign of cheer in his life being the lopsided Santa's hat that was perched on his head. But try as he did, he just couldn't find anything in his life that was worth being proud of or happy about. Trish wanted nothing to do with him, and he hadn't seen Stephanie since that night where word of his bet had leaked out on national television.

He watched as the company's workers all interacted with each other at the Christmas party Lance had dragged him to. Each year, Vince threw the company a huge party in New York City, inviting the wrestlers and the workers who did all the behind-the-scenes activity to come out for a while and enjoy themselves. Chris hadn't wanted to come, not wanting to be in the same area as both Trish and Stephanie, but this reasoning was lost on Lance who insisted he tag along.

And so there he was. Sitting by himself at a table made for ten as everyone was moving about and chatting animatedly, ignoring him or simply not noticing him in the background. He liked that though… the less attention he drew, the better. He wasn't exactly feeling social at the moment anyways. Hell, he was content with sitting for the rest of night and not moving from his chair unless absolutely necessary.

Sighing, he leaned over on the table as he buried his head in his arms…

Meanwhile, Stephanie was walking into the large hall where the annual Christmas party was already in full swing. Unlike a certain Canadian, she was in a fantastic mood. She loved the holiday season and there wasn't a whole lot that could kill that mood for her, not even the thought of Chris.

Truth be told, her patience with him was running extremely thin. She was getting sick and tired of the game he was playing with her, and it was to his best interest to have avoided her the past few weeks. He seemed to have gotten the silent clue when he had indeed left her alone, but she didn't chalk that up to his intelligence. She preferred to attribute his avoidance to his cowardice…

But she didn't want to think of him on that night. That night was supposed to be a fun night, with good talk, good drinks, and good company. He already plagued her thoughts enough any other day… for once, she wanted to just enjoy herself and have a good time.

Spotting Kurt standing a few feet in front of her, she grinned as she snuck up on him. Suddenly, she reached out around him and covered his eyes.

"Guess who?" she asked as he smiled.

"Rudolph?" he joked as she removed her hands. He turned and gave her a semi-disappointed look, "Aw, guess not."

She rolled her eyes. "Getting into the festive season?" she teased, flicking at his Santa hat.

"Hey hey hey, no touching," he laughed, before extending his arms to her. She stepped to him as he pulled her into a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm great, and you?"

"Fantastic now that my best friend in the freakin' world is here," he said as he let her go. She gave him a certain look as she tilted her head a bit, and his easy smile faltered a bit as he sighed. "Yeah, he's here."

"Figures," she mumbled, before linking her arm with his. "It's okay though, I want to have a good time tonight."

"Then don't even worry about him, hell, don't even look at him."

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Trust me, I wasn't planning on it…"

--

"You look like you're having the time of your life, Jericho."

"Shut up," he mumbled against his arms, his head still down. "Go away and leave me alone."

Lance shook his head as he sat down next to Chris, before patting his shoulder. "It's not that bad, lighten up and stop being so hard on yourself."

"Trish hates me," Chris mumbled miserably. "She's refusing to talk to me."

"So what?" Lance said, trying not to snap on his friend. "You know who else is going to be here tonight?" Chris just groaned into his arms, not bothering to answer. "Yeah, that's right, Stephanie's going to be here tonight, and what are you going to do about it?"

Chris sighed and raised his head slowly, giving Lance an even look. "I don't know," he answered dryly. "What would you suggest, oh wise one?"

"I don't know," Lance said in a tone that matched Chris's. "How about wishing her a Merry Christmas?"

"How about not," the blonde man said as he lowered his head onto his arms again, as Lance took a deep breath, trying desperately to maintain his patience.

"You know, for someone who supposedly loves her, you sure give her a lot of crap," Lance mumbled, a bit of anger in his tone. Chris stayed silent, ignoring his comment. "Yeah, you know I'm right," Lance added as his fellow Canadian's head snapped back up.

"Look, you know nothing about this so why don't you just shut the hell up?" Chris snarled, as Lance just shook his head.

"Whatever, wallow in your damn pity then," he said in disgust as he stood up and walked off towards the crowd. Once again, Chris was by himself. Left alone with his thoughts, just like he liked it… he sighed and reached out for his glass of champagne, before downing it all in one shot. He took a chance and looked over at the people who were mingling, his eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar face.

That's when he saw Stephanie. He wasn't looking for her, but when was he ever looking for her? It was like he was drawn to her as he noted the smile she had on her face. It was a genuine and honestly happy smile, and that brought a small smile to his own face. His smile faltered though when he saw her arm linked with Kurt Angle's…

_What the fuck is she doing? _he wondered in bewilderment, before an aching feeling began to creep up through his body. The initial jealousy that had flared through him was overwhelmed by hurt as he realized she must have been moving on. Part of him silently thought that it was worth it, she needed to move on from him… but that part was overcome by the part of him that wondered how she could possibly do that to him.

How did she have the nerve to stroll in with Kurt Angle of all people, knowing that he would be there? It boggled his mind as he took a deep breath to calm his nerves, not noticing Christian sitting down next to him in the seat that Lance had occupied a few moments ago.

Christian's smirk disappeared as he noted that Chris hadn't even noticed his presence. He followed his line of sight, before groaning when he saw that he was looking at Stephanie.

"Dude," Christian started. "Bad enough you're about to leave me hanging for Trish, but now you're going back to _Stephanie _of all people!"

Chris just sighed as he looked away. "Yeah," he said in a low voice. "I'm done with Stephanie."

Christian raised his eyebrows at this. "Are you serious?" he asked, looking at Chris curiously, trying hard to read him in any way that he could. But his friend was gazing rather intently at the table in front of him, a scowl on his face.

"Yeah," he answered after a while. "I think it's probably for the best."

"That's too bad," Christian said sympathetically, staying silent for a moment. "Well, we'll go score some chicks tonight, what do you say?" he said as his demeanor brightened. Chris just sighed.

"No, I'm going to try with Trish," he stated matter-of-factly, even though his heart wasn't really into it. "I'm done with Stephanie, I need to focus on what I've got going, and that's Trish."

Christian frowned. "She's been ignoring you since she found out about that damn bet, why don't you just let it go with both of them?"

"I owe Trish more than that," Chris argued, looking back towards the crowd, his eyes once again finding Stephanie. He hated how she was still hanging off of Kurt's arm… "I owe her more than that," he repeated in an effort to convince himself more so than Christian.

"No you don't," Christian argued. "You don't owe that broad a damn thing, what the hell does she have that you can't get on your worst night?"

"She's nice," Chris answered, his gaze never leaving Stephanie as he leaned over the table a bit, propping his head up with one hand. "She's nice and she's a good person, and I like her for that…"

Christian looked over to see Stephanie, before looking back at Chris. There was something different in the way he looked at her… it was a look he couldn't quite place, but he didn't like it. He wasn't exactly too keen on losing his best friend to a girl, and decided that he'd have to do something about that…

--

"He's staring at me, isn't he?"

Kurt snuck a quick glance over at Chris, before nodding. "Yeah, how could you tell?"

"It's not that hard," she said, her tone sounding tired. Kurt mentally cursed Chris Jericho for that as she sighed, the two walking to a table across the hall. "I can practically feel his stare…"

"That's intense," Kurt noted, leading her over to a table. He stepped in front of her and pulled out a chair for her, and she gave him a grateful smile. "Don't think about him, he's just going to bring down your night."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that," she mused as she took a seat, looking around. "It's nice here, isn't it?"

He had to agree, it really was nice. They were in a large banquet hall that Vince always rented out the weekend after Christmas, in an effort to bring "the WWE family" together. There was a zero tolerance for any violence, and almost everyone showed up each year. The slightly dimmed lights and the mandatory Santa hats that the men had to wear made for a nice and homey vibe. It was nice, and few could deny it.

"It is, it's always a highlight to come out here," he agreed as he took a seat next to her. "So Stephanie…"

"Yeah?"

"How are you doing, really?" he asked in a low tone.

She closed her eyes at his question, not even sure how to begin to answer that. She didn't want to think back to the tremendous hurt that Chris had thrown upon her when he had thrown her offer of friendship back in her face, all in favor of Trish Stratus. It cut her like a knife to think that he wasn't hers because he was off being some damn puppy dog for Trish. She had thought they could handle being friends, but apparently, they couldn't even handle that…

"I'm okay," she said, opening her eyes and giving him a tentative smile. He gave her a doubtful look, and she reached for his hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. "Thanks for always being there, even when I've been a bitch," she said seriously, and he chuckled.

"You don't have to thank me," he told her sincerely. "That's what friends do…"

While Kurt was busy being a good friend, Chris was wishing he had one about now as Lance started to tear into him.

"Look, you need to stop being a jackass," he stated, as Chris groaned.

"Lance, not tonight man, come on," he sighed.

"Pssh, not tonight," Lance scoffed. "I don't know what it is about Trish that you like, and frankly it's not my business, but look at yourself. You know what you look like?"

"Who, Donald Trump?" Chris asked sarcastically.

"You look like shit," Lance answered in a blunt manner. "You need to get a clue and quit listening to Christian."

"Whatever," Chris mumbled as he gazed at his champagne glass in front of him. "I'm tired of trying."

"You can't even have the courtesy to walk your ass over there and say hello? Jericho, it's Christmas, just give her that. Don't you think she deserves that?"

"Fine, will that get you off my back?"

Lance shook his head. "You go because you want to go, don't go because I'm telling you to go."

"Well what the fuck man!" Chris suddenly snarled, glaring at his friend. "You're over here calling me a jackass and an idiot and then you're giving me that crap!"

"I'm just saying, if you're going to go be an ass and ruin her night because you're trying to appease me, then don't do a damn thing," Lance told him sternly. "Just wait until Trish gets here, since she's the only one you seem to care about."

"She's here with Angle," Chris said in a low tone as his blue eyes darkened. "I get the point she's trying to send to me."

"Is that what it is?" Lance asked in amazement. "You're going to let that stop you from even saying hello to her?" Chris just shrugged as Lance shook his head. "You really are clueless… if you cared at all, if you ever cared, you'd go."

Chris sat in silence for a moment, letting those words wash over him, before standing up. He gave Lance a look and then walked over to where he knew Stephanie was sitting, his pride kicking in after having his feelings questioned…

"Isn't it romantic?" Stephanie asked with a sigh, and Kurt gave a light chuckle.

"If you say so," he answered as they watched the couples that were on the dance floor. It was always a good time for the wrestlers who were married and were able to bring their wives in to meet their coworkers, and get some nice quality time together so close to the holiday season.

Stephanie nudged him in his ribs. "You don't think it is?"

He smiled. "Yeah, it's nice…"

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them both look over, and Kurt's expression immediately darkened at the sight of the Canadian that was standing there, looking almost uncomfortable as he looked between the two.

"Stephanie…" he started, turning his gaze on her as she stared to the side, not making eye contact with him. "Can I get a minute?"

"Why do you bother?" she asked warily, and Kurt decided he was going to step in. He was tired of seeing her down all the time because of the ungrateful Canadian who didn't know a good thing when it was staring him in the damn face.

Kurt stood as he glared at Chris, whose eyes were still on Stephanie. "Look here bucko, I'm sick and tired of this crap you're trying to pull! Stephanie's my friend, and I -"

"Look Angle…" Chris started, looking over at him with a dangerous expression, before Stephanie spoke up.

"Knock it off you two, you both know good and damn well that there's no fighting tonight," she interrupted as she stood up. She looked at Chris for a few moments, before sighing. "What do you want?"

"I just want to talk to you," he said in a lowered tone as they maintained eye contact for another moment. She looked over at Kurt and nodded.

"It's okay, I'll be right back," she told him before walking off. Kurt scowled but said nothing as Chris followed her to the back of the banquet hall where it was less crowded. Finally, she stopped and turned back to him, eyeing him carefully, silently commanding him to speak.

"Stephanie… I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas," he said, slightly uncomfortable as her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"Merry Christmas to you too," she immediately responded, and he smiled a little bit at that. She smiled against her will when she took in his Santa hat. "Nice hat," she added.

"Thanks," he said, before they fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"So did you -"

"So how was -"

They both forced some laughs, before he nodded to her. "You first."

"Did you have anything else you wanted to say to me?" she asked, searching his eyes with hers, effectively captivating him and rooting him to the spot.

He had so many things to say. How could he possibly start to put his love for this woman into words? He tried all the time in his notebook and even that barely worked. He wanted to tell her everything, but there was so much to tell, so much to say and confess that she had never heard from him before.

He loved her. It was just that simple, just that powerful. He forced himself to say anything, but what he said was something that his mouth produced a few seconds before his brain could register what was tumbling out.

"Wanna dance?" he asked, mentally cursing himself as he saw her give him a strange look.

"You want to dance?" she repeated incredulously.

It was too late to back out now. He silently extended his hand to her, and she hesitated momentarily. And yet, she felt drawn to him. She sighed and reluctantly gave him her hand, ignoring the flutter of her heart at the feel of his hand wrapping around hers once again.

Why of all people did Chris Jericho have to be the one to have a hold on her?

She didn't have time to fully think about that before he was leading her to the dance floor. The lights were dim as a slow oldies song played, but he didn't seem to care as he lead her right to the middle of the dance floor, before turning back to her as he let go of her hand.

She noted his hesitation and reached back for his hands, bringing him in a little closer to her. He instinctively put his hands on her hips as she put her hands on his shoulders. Both of them wondered why this was so awkward for them after the many times they'd touched each other, but neither found it appropriate to comment. He in particular hated the space that was still between them. It felt like you could fit another person between them…

They stayed this way for a long time, slow dancing together as they both avoided eye contact with each other. It was awkward, so very awkward, but they both just had to suck it up. Chris momentarily caught Lance's eye, and he sneered at his friend who had a huge smile on his face.

His muscles suddenly tensed when he felt Stephanie slowly moving her hands up his shoulders towards his neck as she stepped in a little closer to him. He turned back towards her and instinctively moved his hands to her back, pulling her even closer as he stepped in a bit as well.

They both inhaled sharply as their bodies came together, while he wrapped his arms securely around her waist to hold her tighter against him as he closed his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, closing her eyes as well and just relishing the feel of being in his arms. God, how badly had she fallen for this man to always succumb to his touch like she did?

Meanwhile, his heart was pounding in his chest at having her so close to him. The heat was still there, and it was driving him crazy. He hadn't talked to her in over a month, and yet their connection was still there. She really was intoxicating to him, she made him insatiable with lust… how was it possible to feel such perfection with her?

She was leaning her forehead against his shoulder as she let one hand go from behind his neck. Slowly, she trailed that hand down from his shoulder blades to his chest, instinctively rubbing him the way she knew he loved to be touched. Her breath caught a bit when she could feel his racing heart beneath her fingertips, a low growl escaping him at her touch…

In that one moment, nothing in the world existed to Chris except Stephanie and her touch. No one else existed and no one else mattered, not Trish, not Lance, not Christian, just no one. All that he could feel were Stephanie's hands touching him, driving him crazy as he brought his hands teasingly down her lower back, before slipping his hands up her blouse a bit as he teased the skin he found underneath.

The feel of his hands on her bare skin almost made her moan, but instead she bit her lip and thanked God that the music was still playing and everyone seemed too absorbed in their significant other to pay them much attention (save for Kurt and Lance, of course). He pulled her closer to him as they continued to sway, before leaning in to nuzzle his face into the side of her neck.

He couldn't help but start to kiss her neck, moving up a bit to kiss the sensitive skin behind her ear. The feel of his warm breath so close to her was making Stephanie feel weak in the knees, making her tighten her grip against him. He raised his head when she did, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw that he was now only a centimeter or two away from her face.

They stayed this way for several moments, impossibly close, and yet both feeling as though the other was so far away…

He leaned in a bit as he tilted his head, and she instinctively tilted her face up to his as he leaned in close, so close she could almost taste his kiss… it frightened her how badly she wanted to taste him again…

Just as he was about to kiss her again, the song that was playing ended abruptly as the needle scratched off the record. Chris looked over his shoulder to see Vince taking the stage with a microphone as Stephanie slowly disentangled herself from his arms, the pause enough for her to regain her senses. He immediately turned back to her, giving her a questioning look.

"I can't," she said, giving him a regretful look as she pulled away.

"Why not?" he asked as he stepped towards her, the heat far from gone, at least to him. Stephanie just sighed heavily as the rest of the wrestlers cheered over some announcement.

"Just do what you have to do with Trish," she said, sounding almost exasperated as she turned away from him, missing him wince at her words. He stood there as he watched her go back to Kurt, that familiar wave of jealousy coming back to him…

Christian scowled as he shook his head, watching the pathetic display Chris had put on not only for him, but for everyone at the party. He almost felt ashamed to be associated with Chris, who was getting too soft for his own good.

But Christian was already planning on changing that.


	17. Supposed To Be

**A/N: Should so be getting sleep and instead am up finishing this! Fun times guys, fun times. I own no one, not now, not ever… well maybe someday, but not anytime soon, God I'm so broke. Anyways… enjoy, and leave some love. Or hate. Either is cool.**

**--**

**January 26th, 2004**

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

That was the only thought he could process. Every time he'd look at her and she'd avoid his gaze, every time he'd try to approach her only for her to scurry away, this was the thought that came to mind. He wasn't perfect, by no means could anyone call Chris Jericho perfect. But did he really deserve to be ignored this way?

Call him crazy, but a month ago at the company Christmas party, he had thought things could be better. And depending on how you looked at his life, you could make the argument that yes, things had improved for him. Trish was on speaking terms with him again, and he still had his favor from Eric Bischoff that he was going to cash in that very night in an effort to reclaim his gold.

He should've been happy. He should've been inside, chatting away with his friends, planning on how he was going to reclaim his gold, instead of sitting outside in the cold by himself. He should've been trying to salvage some kind of relationship with Trish, instead of being almost ripped to shreds on the inside at the sight of indifference in Stephanie's eyes, in those few moments when he caught her eye.

Indifference that was aimed at him.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

He sighed, covering his face with his hands as he sat on the ground outside of the arena. It was a cold night, but every night felt cold to him now. Even when he was inside where it was warm, to see her turning away from him gave him a cold, almost numb feeling.

He sighed again into his hands, letting himself be overwhelmed by the silence around him. It was comforting, soothing in a way. He didn't want company, not at that moment, not when his composure was being shattered rather effortlessly by one woman. He didn't know what it was about that night in particular that was making him feel so miserable. After all, Stephanie had yet to say a word to him since that party.

What the hell made this night so different from any other?

He knew deep down though that it was just a difference in perception. Some nights, he'd be thoroughly convinced that he could deal with her cold silent treatment, comforting himself in the thought that there were few women who would deny him. Other nights, like this one, it was as though her mere presence alone was enough to suffocate him. And so he'd find himself outside of the arena like he was at the moment, sitting by himself in an effort to alleviate the torment that Stephanie McMahon and her silent treatment brought to his heart.

He ran his hands through his hair, willing the hurt he felt inside to go away. He couldn't let her keep doing this to him, he refused to let her keep breaking him down this way.

Why was it so hard to just ignore her the same way she was ignoring him?

_It wasn't supposed to be this way…_

Maybe everything was his fault. He closed his eyes at the thought, feeling the hurt rise through him at the notion that his predicament was his own doing. He brushed the thought away, not wanting to face it or the consequences that came along with it. He let out a deep breath, trying to get his emotions in check. It was a routine that he had sadly fallen into over the course of the last month. She'd ignore him, and he'd step outside to regain his composure, before going back in as the cocky son of a bitch that he played up for the fans. _Same shit, different day, _he thought bitterly to himself.

He rubbed at his eyes with his hands, a sad truth washing over him.

Maybe this was how it was meant to be after all.

--

In Stephanie's mind, she was done with him.

She was done trying. She was done making eye contact with him, only to see the pain in his eyes that was so evident to everyone but him. She was done trying to break through to him, because Lord knew she had sure as hell tried. Beneath the pain that shone clearly in his eyes was indecision, and she was tired of seeing that and tired of dealing with it.

But then again, maybe she was seeing things. Maybe her heart was playing tricks on her eyes, and that look he got when he looked at her wasn't one of pain, but one of sympathy. Maybe he felt sorry for her for getting so attached so soon, to something that wasn't even worth it in the long run.

Unbeknownst to him, she _had_ seen him disappear through the exit doors to the arena the same way he did every night, but she hadn't made an effort to stop him or go after him. She never did, preferring to just leave him alone and keep her distance. It wasn't her job to care for him, or to worry about him. She had been willing once upon a time to fill in that role, and she felt her stomach churn as the 2002 Survivor Series immediately came to mind. She closed her eyes, remembering that night like it had happened yesterday…

"_Chris!"_

_She tried catching up to him, but she wasn't fast enough. That didn't stop her heart from skipping a beat when she saw him collapse on the floor. Her running suddenly kicked up a notch, and a moment later, she was kneeling down next to him. Her hands fluttered over him as she attempted to steel her nerves, but the blood was making her think irrationally, making her think it was worse than what it looked._

_She rolled him onto his back as gingerly as she could, before wiping some of the blood off his face as she went over his words from earlier that night, not caring that she was going to get the blood all over her. He'd said the words she'd been dying to hear, and what had she done in return? Thrown a vase at his head? She felt disgusted by her earlier actions, wishing she could turn back time… why couldn't she just have swallowed her pride earlier that night?_

_Because, she reminded herself bitterly, he's done nothing but say the words, he doesn't even mean them… _

_She looked down at him, and realized for the first time that she had his hand in hers. The EMTs were around them in a second, and she was starting to let his hand go before his grip suddenly tightened on her hand, and he pulled her in a bit. _

"_Chris?" she asked, looking down at him… she didn't know what she was expecting, he was barely conscious, he didn't know what he was doing. For all she knew, he wanted nothing to do with her… she swallowed hard at the thought that maybe he thought she was someone else._

"_Stephanie, you're going to have to let go," an EMT said as he knelt down next to her. "We need to get him checked out, he's still losing --"_

"_Steph…"_

_She looked back down at him, a small smile coming to her face at the sound of her name coming from his lips. That pushed away the thought that maybe he wanted someone else to be at his side, that maybe he wanted someone else to be holding his hand while he was hurt. He wanted her there with him, and that meant that his words from earlier were sincere…_

"_Stephanie, he needs to get checked out," the EMT repeated, and she nodded, but his grip on her hand was still there. He shifted a bit, muttering something under his breath, but it was still enough to stir something within Stephanie. His words were enough to erase the doubt that he wasn't sincere or hadn't meant what he had said earlier that night… three simple words that she would comply with, until the day she could no longer stand it anymore._

"_Don't leave me…"_

She opened her eyes slowly, the words still crisp in her memory. The feeling the words had evoked were still there, so much so that she could practically still feel his warm blood still on her hand. He had single-handedly brought her up that night, only to break her down moments later. It was a hard, bitter pill for her to swallow.

But she had to let him go.

Facts were hard facts after all, and Stephanie had to face the facts that were glaring her in the face. He cared about Trish, and that fact wasn't going to escape Stephanie twice. Every now and then, she'd wonder if he had ever really cared for her at all. She hated to think about that, wishing she could just… erase him from her memory and pretend she had no history with him at all.

She closed her eyes momentarily, mentally cursing that night in 2002 when she began to get involved with him… if there was some kind of way to just turn back time and change the past, this was what she would change. Maybe she shouldn't have given into him the next day, opting instead to go back to their "just business partners" agreement. Maybe she should've just left him alone when she saw how angry he was that night after he lost his title belts to Triple H.

Maybe she shouldn't have gone to see him at all.

But what was done was done. She had gone to see him, she had stayed with him, and she'd given into him time and time again, against her better judgment. Everything was against her better judgment – especially falling in love with him. And she had paid the price for falling for him, she had paid quite the high price with the hell he had put her heart through time and time again. She opened her eyes as she exhaled, releasing a deep breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Falling in love with Chris Jericho had been her biggest mistake of all.

She glanced back over at the doors where he'd gone through, sighing as she did. She didn't understand him, and sometimes felt like she didn't even know him. He was changing, this ordeal with Trish was changing the man she had once known into a total stranger…

"Stephanie!" Bischoff snapped, and she immediately turned her attention to her boss, pushing all thoughts of Chris to the back of her mind. "Are you listening to me!"

"Yes," she said in an emotionless tone, even though she hadn't heard a word of what he'd said.

"Good! Then go tell Trish that she's got a match with Kane tonight!" he barked out, and Stephanie was a bit surprised at the order, but she turned and headed towards Trish's locker room anyways. She took one last glance back at the exit doors to the arena, once again, against her better judgment. It couldn't be helped… she looked away, willing herself to regain control of this ongoing situation with Chris. She had to push away the memories. She had to move on.

The day had finally come. She had held on as long as she could, she hadn't left him like she should have a long time ago. The time had come to where she could no longer stand being his personal source of amusement… she couldn't take their situation anymore.

She had to let him go.

--

Moments later, Chris was still sitting outside of the arena doors, gazing at the parking lot before him. He was lost in thought, immersed in his own world to the point where he didn't even notice the man who had walked up to him, until he was practically staring at the man's knees.

"You look like crap, Jericho," a dry voice said from above him, startling him out of his thoughts. "I hope it's not because I kicked your ass last night at the Rumble."

Chris looked up, only to be met with a crooked smirk, one that he recognized all too well. He was on his feet instantly, a grin on his face as he set his eyes on an old friend.

"Benoit, you're a sight for sore eyes man," he said as he clasped his friend on the shoulder. Benoit merely nodded in acknowledgement. "And just so you know, Mr. Roboto, you got lucky last night at the Rumble," Chris added in a mocking tone, even though he draped an arm casually over Benoit's shoulders.

The other Canadian merely grunted. "Luck has nothing to do with it," he said in that clipped tone of his.

"Yeah, whatever man," Chris laughed. "What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn't you be off on Smackdown celebrating or something?"

"I want Triple H," Benoit said bluntly, and then he looked over at Chris, curiosity in his eyes. "What the hell were you doing out here anyways?"

"Nothing," Chris said with a heavy sigh, his good mood at seeing his friend quickly dissipating at the reminder of why he was sitting out there in the first place. He removed his arm from Benoit's shoulders, running his hand through his hair. "I was just thinking about things…"

"Like what?"

"It's nothing…"

Benoit stared intensely at Chris, making him shift his weight a bit. For a second, Chris wondered if he could see right through him. Finally after a few moments, Benoit grunted and turned to head inside the arena, his duffel bag slung over one shoulder and not looking back. Chris watched him for a second, before going after him and grabbing his arm.

"What is it?" Benoit demanded impatiently.

"You're not even going to ask?" Chris asked curiously.

Benoit narrowed his eyes at him. "Ask what?"

Chris let his arm go, putting his hands in his pockets. "Nothing," he finally said, forcing a laugh to cover up his embarrassment. "Nothing, don't mind me… good luck with Triple H man, hope you beat him," he added with a nod, looking down a bit and fully expecting his fellow to Canadian to spin on his heel and march right inside. Chris Benoit tended to business after all, and after winning the Royal Rumble match, he had a lot of business to tend to.

Instead, Benoit maintained his ground. Chris looked up to see him staring right at him, and the two maintained eye contact for a while before Benoit finally spoke up.

"What's bothering you, Jericho?" he asked bluntly. "Don't say nothing, or I'm done asking," he warned, and Chris sighed as he looked back down, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"It's complicated…" Chris started, and he was met with silence. He knew that Benoit was being patient with him and was waiting for him to get it out, because that's the kind of guy he was. He'd teamed with him long enough to know how the man worked, and even though he was very cut and dry, they were close friends. That gave him the nudge to continue. "It's about Stephanie…"

"What about her?"

"I love her," Chris said with a sigh. "But things are just, complicated, you know?"

"No, I don't know," Benoit said in a dull tone.

Chris hesitated momentarily, before deciding to fill his friend in. If anyone could give him an honest opinion, it was most definitely Chris Benoit. He took a deep breath, and then began. "It started like two years ago, back when I was champion…"

--

Stephanie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was a professional, regardless of the way that Bischoff spoke to her. She was above this simple, mundane task of relaying a message to Trish Stratus of all people.

_Then what the hell is the problem? _she wondered, straightening a bit in posture as she looked back up at the diva's door. She braced herself, and then entered the locker room.

Trish was sitting on a bench in the room, towel-drying her hair. She looked up when she heard the door open, and gave Stephanie a small smile. The young McMahon forced a smile on her own face, even though this was the absolute last person she wanted to speak to at the moment.

"Steph, hey," Trish greeted warmly.

"Trish," Stephanie acknowledged with a nod. "I just came in to tell you that Bischoff's put you in a match against Kane tonight."

"Um, wow," Trish laughed in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, he sent me to tell you," Stephanie said, giving her a curious look.

"Alright, that's cool I guess," Trish said with a sigh as she continued towel-drying her hair.

"Aren't you worried?" Stephanie asked, wondering how Trish could act so nonchalantly about this. "I mean, this is Kane we're talking about, you know, he's seven feet tall and weighs over 300 pounds…"

"I know who Kane is," Trish said, before falling silent a moment. "But, I think Chris will help me out tonight."

Stephanie bit her lip at the sound of his name falling from Trish's lips. It wasn't indifferent, or nasty, or loving. It was just so… natural. She forced herself to swallow, before giving Trish a strained smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure he will," she said, trying her best to sound professional and indifferent. She turned and headed back towards the door, not wanting to look at Trish anymore. Trish was a genuinely nice person it seemed, but Stephanie couldn't help but picture her making out with Chris every time she saw her. And every time she got that mental image, she felt her heart ache that much more. She needed to leave, and leave now.

"Steph, wait!"

Stephanie froze, her back to Trish as she breathed deeply. "What is it?" she asked, looking at the door handle and just wanting to leave.

Trish rose and walked over to where Stephanie was standing, unaware of the inner turmoil the young McMahon was going through. She went and stood next to her, clasping her hands together. "Um, can I ask you something?"

Stephanie looked over at her, frowning slightly. "I really should get back to work," she replied, not wanting to answer any questions about…

"It's about Chris, please, I need advice," Trish pleaded as Stephanie sighed and closed her eyes. "You know him, you were business partners with him, I just need someone else's opinion on what I should do."

Stephanie cleared her throat a bit, wondering why she had even walked into this locker room. She was trying to move on from Chris, she _needed _to move on. And yet here she was… the woman he really cared about coming to _her _for advice.

The irony was rich indeed.

"I don't know Trish," she finally mumbled as she looked back up at the Canadian who was staring back at her intently. Stephanie sighed again at the pleading in the woman's eyes, feeling a tinge of guilt. This was who Chris wanted, regardless of how much she cared, this was who he wanted to be with. She would just have to deal with that and accept it.

"Everyone says that he really cares," Trish said miserably, and Stephanie's heart ached just a bit more.

"I think he does," she said in a tone she hardly recognized as her own. She forced a smile, but it was strained and weak at best. Her brave front was being challenged, and challenged big time. She cleared her throat a bit again. "He's a tough one to figure out…"

"Yeah, how do I know he really cares?" Trish sighed, wondering more to herself. Stephanie stayed silent, not having the heart to tell this woman that she had been wondering that same question for almost two years.

"I guess you can't…"

"Come on, Steph, you know him… what should I do?" Trish pleaded again, looking to Stephanie for answers. But Stephanie didn't have answers, not when it pertained to Chris Jericho. She only had questions, hundreds of questions that would never be answered. She looked down for a moment, releasing a deep breath before looking back up at Trish and making eye contact with her. Part of her despised Trish Stratus, because she had laid claim to the man that Stephanie loved…

And yet, another part of her couldn't hate the person that had the potential to make Chris truly happy. That gave her the nudge to say the hardest thing she'd ever had to say in her entire life.

"He seems to really want to be with you… maybe you should give him a chance."

--

The silence had been comforting before, but now it was torturing.

"Come on man," Chris sighed as Benoit continued to stare at him after he'd finished telling him his history with Stephanie. "Say something."

"I don't see what the problem is, Jericho," Benoit responded in his dry tone. "You love her, so tell her and be done with it."

"It's not that easy…"

"Why? Are you a coward?" Benoit asked bluntly, making Chris wince. "Just walk up to the woman and tell her what you've told me."

Chris shook his head as he looked at his friend in disbelief. "She's already rejected me once man…"

Benoit grunted. "That Survivor Series?"

"Yeah," Chris said as he ran a hand through his hair. "That could've been our night right there…"

"Could've been, until you screwed it up," Benoit said flatly, and Chris sighed deeply at that. "Just cut the bullshit and tell her."

"What if she rejects me again?" Chris asked in a lowered tone.

"You won't know until you ask," Benoit pointed out.

"But what if she does?"

"What if I lose at Wrestlemania?" Benoit countered. "What if Triple H refuses to let me challenge for his title?"

"I was going to challenge for the title tonight," Chris admitted. "I'll go out there and do that, and see what happens."

"And then you'll go talk to Stephanie."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Because it is," Benoit replied in a clipped tone. "Cut the crap, Jericho, and face it like a man. You want her, then go after her."

"But what if --"

"Enough with the what ifs!" Benoit snapped angrily, stepping up to Chris who leaned back a little. "Where the hell is the Chris Jericho I used to know, huh? You're acting like a coward," he spat out in disgust, and Chris looked off to the side.

"You just don't get it, it's really easy to sit on the sidelines and shout out plays, it's hard to go out there and do it," Chris said dejectedly, feeling that familiar wave of hurt come to him. He knew deep down that Stephanie would reject him, and he didn't know if he could handle going through that all over again.

"Do you forget who you're talking to?" Benoit snorted. "I just beat 29 other guys last night, Jericho, you included, I did that because this is what I want more than anything in the world, I want to main event Wrestlemania. I was born to do this, and I'm making it happen. And you?" He shook his head in a mixture of disgust and disbelief. "You can't even come to terms with yourself."

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Chris nodded slowly.

"You're right," he sighed. "I'll do it… I'll talk to her."

Benoit grunted, nodding his approval, before turning and walking towards the arena. He shot a look back at his friend, who was looking down at the ground, a frown on his face as he once again lost himself in thought. Benoit had been more than surprised by Lance's story over the phone regarding Chris and Stephanie, not wanting to believe his friend was that much of a coward to not go after the woman he loved. He was even more surprised to see that it was true.

But maybe someone was finally getting through to him.

--

Christian was getting impatient. He was pacing back and forth in the locker room he was sharing with Chris that night, wondering where the hell he could possibly be. The show was set to start soon, and there was no sign of his fellow Canadian anywhere. He was starting to feel restless, and decided he should go and look for him.

Just as he was heading towards the door, it swung open on its own and Chris walked in. Christian let out a breath in relief, before reminding himself of his plan. He was not going to stand for Chris moping around over Stephanie anymore, and he was putting an end to it that night.

"Hey man," Chris greeted as he walked over to his duffel bag. He had decided to come to his locker room to get his notebook, the notebook where he kept pages and pages of writing devoted to Stephanie. Benoit had convinced him that there wasn't much to lose by telling her how he really felt. Tonight was the night that he would open up to her, and he wanted to show her the notebook in case she questioned his intentions.

"Hey CJ," Christian greeted, watching his friend dig through his duffel bag. He cleared his throat a bit. "What are you looking for, man?"

"Something I wanted to show Steph," Chris answered absent-mindedly, and Christian smirked at this. This was his cue.

"Oh yeah, Stephanie," Christian droned a bit as Chris continued to dig through his bag. "Did you hear about her?"

"What about her?" Chris demanded, scowling as he straightened. He was still looking down at his bag as he put his hands on his hips. "Where the hell did I leave it?" he mumbled to himself.

"She was caught making out with Bischoff earlier," Christian said casually, noting how Chris tensed at the words. He eyed him carefully as he continued, "Yeah, it was like that one night all over again, one of the workers walked in and he had her all on the desk…"

That was all Chris could hear before the words started to blur together in his mind. Everything started to blur together for him in that one moment. Christian's words, Benoit's words, everything was impossibly blurred now. Even his vision was starting to blur, and he closed his eyes to will the tears not to come.

His motivation was gone. He had no reason to doubt Christian, because he was one of his closest friends, but also because he knew that Stephanie wasn't above kissing Bischoff. He had seen as much with his own eyes, and now, his motivation was gone.

He stumbled back a bit and sat down heavily on a bench in the room, finding himself struggling to breathe. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying for the second time that night to regain his composure as Christian sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a friendly gesture.

"I told you, CJ," he said, trying his hardest to sound sympathetic, even though he was overwhelmed with joy on the inside. "She's not for you man."

Chris exhaled slowly, his eyes still closed, feeling the hurt weigh heavily in his chest as he did. "You're sure about this," he stated, as if pleading with Christian to say something different, to give him the go-ahead and say that yes, Stephanie was still available, and she was his.

"I'm sure," Christian said, rolling his eyes. Chris didn't see this, instead leaning forward and covering his face with his hands as he sighed.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

--

Stephanie finally left Trish's locker room, closing the door behind her. As soon as she did, she leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. That had been one of the absolute hardest conversations she had ever had, and with each new gleam of hope that shone brighter than the last in Trish's eyes, Stephanie felt like she was slowly losing a piece of herself.

It was the right thing to do though. If she gave Trish the nudge to try and make things work with Chris, then that would alleviate her own need to deal with him. Knowing that he could and would be happy would be enough for her to move on with her life. She took a deep breath, ignoring the lump in her throat as she pushed herself off the door. She held her head up high, not wanting to show the world that Stephanie McMahon was falling apart slowly on the inside.

Chris was taking a walk backstage to gather his thoughts together. He had gone out and challenged for the title belt, only for Eric Bischoff to throw Kane and Trish in a match. He'd stood out there and not said a word as Bischoff decided to use Chris's favor to nix the match. While a part of him was glad that she wouldn't have to face Kane, the greater part of him was just indifferent to the entire situation.

His thoughts were only with one person.

Stephanie was the one who saw him first. The look on his face was enough to churn her stomach, and she recognized the pain that was in his normally bright blue eyes. She breathed deeply one more time, gathering her bearings, and continued walking in his direction.

He was lost in his own world, to the point where he didn't even see her. But he felt something, he could feel someone's gaze lingering on him, and that was enough to lull him back to reality as he looked around a bit. That's when he saw her, looking right at him. It was enough to make him stop walking, and it also felt like it was enough to make his heart stop beating.

She couldn't read the look on his face when he saw her, but that was nothing new. She had never been able to read him at all…

"Hey," she greeted with a nod as she approached him. They hadn't spoken for a month, so she figured this was somewhat of a healthy start. If she could deal with Trish, she could deal with him as well. His look never faltered though, and he didn't respond to her greeting. She licked her bottom lip a bit, slightly uncomfortable with his piercing stare. She decided maybe it was best to just keep walking.

She had almost walked right past him before he reached out and grabbed her arm, practically hauling her close to him. She looked up at him in surprise, which grew into bewilderment when she recognized the look that was shining in his eyes. It was the look of blind anger, anger that was reminiscent of their first night together…

"How could you, Stephanie?" he demanded, his voice sounding hoarse. "How could you fucking do that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said in a calm voice, even though her heart was pounding rather fiercely in her chest. "But I suggest you let me go," she said more forcefully, trying not to show him how much his grip on her was hurting him.

He was done thinking rationally though. He was so hurt by the notion that she would do that to him, that he wasn't thinking clearly anymore.

"You fucking kissed him," he spat out in disgust, and her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Chris, what are --"

"Shut up Stephanie! I'm tired of your bullshit, and I'm not going to let you keep doing this to me!" he snarled, and she yanked her arm free from his grip, taking a step back from him. She looked up at his eyes, but his eyes had turned as cold as ice, with a fire burning deep within them. His face had acquired a shade of red from the anger that had consumed him, and she didn't even know from what.

"Look," she started in a shaky voice, feeling her own temper start to kick in, temper that was driven by the pain he was causing her. Not just on this night, but on so many nights, the pain was accumulating and it was starting to spill over. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but I don't appreciate you yelling at me like I'm some kind of dog," she said in a low and cold tone.

"A dog?" he snorted, and she glared at him.

"Don't go there," she warned, and he laughed at that. It was a forced laugh, but laughter nonetheless. But then again, he had to laugh so he wouldn't break down and cry from the pain this woman was causing him. His pride would never allow it.

"Don't what? Call you a bitch?" he asked snidely, and Stephanie felt a fire course through her at his words. She immediately pulled back and went to slap him, but he caught her arm and pulled her close to him.

Their hot breaths met for a moment as they both set their eyes on each other's lips, forgetting temporarily of the situation at hand. He was the one who realized what was happening first, and pulled away, a disgusted look on his face as he did.

"I was right all along with those names I used to call you. I don't know what the fuck I ever saw in you anyways," he spat out as he turned and walked away. Stephanie stood in shock at his words, before closing her eyes and letting them wash over her. Those cold words that tore at her heart, it was like a wakeup call, the key to finally move on. After all, the truth was now out, and it was clear as day.

He didn't care, and he had never cared…

Chris slammed the door shut to his locker room a moment later, thankful that Christian wasn't there waiting for him. He leaned back against the door, burning tears stinging his eyes as he was once again filled with regret. He slid down the door until he was sitting up against it, unable to regain his composure as the tears began to fall. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the burning tears but not able to stop them.

It just wasn't supposed to be this way.


	18. Paper Thin

As usual, I own nothing… here's a nice long read for you guys. Enjoy, and leave feedback :)

-----

**February 2nd, 2004**

It wasn't like she had hated him the very first time she'd seen him. He'd annoyed her, sure, but she couldn't say she had hated him. But then the insulting started, started on a night she couldn't even remember, over something that was probably small and trivial. She couldn't remember what had triggered his onslaught of insults that night. She could only remember how angry his words had made her, and how Hunter had sworn to make him pay on her behalf. Before she knew it, the insults were suddenly steamrolling night in and night out, making her angrier and officially cementing her hatred of Chris Jericho.

But never before had his insults hurt her like this.

She ran her tongue over her teeth as she remembered his words, feeling the familiar pain flaring through her as she remembered the angry look in his eyes as he directed the cold words to her. The pain was normally enough to make her cry, but she was done crying. She had cried enough over the last week to make up for the two years that she'd been longing for him. She was done with the tears.

She looked up when the elevator doors opened, donning her mask of strength. Holding her head high, she entered the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby floor. She ran one hand through her long and curled brown hair, telling herself that she could move on. She was fully capable of putting the past in the past where it belonged, and she was capable of forgetting him. It was absolutely foolish and naive of her to have actually thought that he was the one true love in her life. In the end, he'd just be another name to add to the list of… list of what exactly? She closed her eyes as she remembered that they had never even had a real relationship.

Hatred. That's all they ever really had. That's all they built off, and that's all they could ever come back to. The thought almost made her want to cry again, but she refused. She was resolved to never shed tears for him again.

It was just unfortunate that stopping the tears couldn't stop the pain.

--

"I'll be right there!" Chris cried out impatiently as he went through his duffel bag. He was double checking his bag to make sure he had everything before he left for the show, looking through it quickly even as someone kept knocking on his hotel room door. It was starting to annoy him, and he was about to yell some offensive remark when the sight of a certain notebook at the bottom of his bag made the words die at the tip of his tongue.

No longer hearing the knocking, he simply stared at the notebook. It was always there, every week, always at the very bottom of his bag. He still wrote in it from time to time, but it was hard to put his thoughts about her into words. Because in the end, everything that was in the notebook was about her. That meant that it had meaning to him, and no matter how much he wanted to throw it away, he couldn't do it.

But then again, there were lots of things that he wasn't able to throw away.

Sighing, he threw the rest of his belongings into his bag before lifting it and slinging it over his shoulder. He glanced at his watch, cursing under his breath as he made his way to the door. Pulling it open, he went to say a snide remark - until he saw who had been knocking on the door, that is.

"Hi," she said, seeming somewhat uncomfortable as she stood there. He stepped out of his hotel room and pulled the door closed, locking it behind him as he gazed at her curiously.

"Hi," he responded, not knowing what else to say as he slipped his sunglasses on. He was thankful he had grabbed the pair that was reflective and didn't let anyone see his eyes. For at least one night, his emotions could be his own and no one would be able to read him. The thought was mildly comforting, but comforting nonetheless.

She cleared her throat. "You know, Chris, about last week…"

"Come on, let's walk," he suggested, the two falling into an easy pace together down the hotel hallway. "What about last week?" he inquired, and she cleared her throat again.

"Well, I know I already thanked you…"

"Trish," he started, looking over at her as they walked together, "It wasn't a big deal to go out there and help you out. Did you really think I was going to let Bischoff put you in a match against Kane? Come on, Trish, I'm not that kind of guy. I wasn't about to let him do that to you."

Trish sighed as they reached the elevator doors, turning so she was facing him. She looked up and cursed the fact that he had those shades on, and yet he was still indescribably handsome to her. He gave her a reassuring smile and she nodded.

"See, that's what I want to talk about, Chris."

His smile faltered a bit at that. "What about it?"

"Well…" she paused momentarily, gathering her thoughts. "I guess I just want to know why…"

"Why what?"

"Why you used your favor with Eric to cancel my match," she said, wishing that he wasn't wearing his shades so she could see his eyes.

"I told you, I didn't want --"

"To see me face Kane, yeah, I get that," she said with a sigh. "But I don't know, you just seemed really distracted out there and I couldn't help but wonder if you didn't say anything to Eric because you really didn't want me in that match, or because your mind was somewhere else… like what were your real reasons, you know?"

Chris reached out and pressed the elevator button to go down, before looking back at Trish. She was looking at him rather expectantly, and he sighed as he stepped a little closer to her.

"Maybe I was a little distracted," he said in a lowered tone, not wanting to lie. He almost regretted it when he saw her look down at the floor. Not really thinking about it, he reached up under her chin and tilted her head back up so they were making eye contact again. "But I wasn't lying when I said I cared about you, and even if the match had been made, I would've done something anyways."

"Yeah?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah," he answered with a smile, his hand still on her face. His thumb was gently caressing her jaw line, and for a moment he was tempted to kiss her. Maybe if he did that, he'd feel something there and he'd finally be reassured that maybe she was really the way to go. He'd have the reassurance that Stephanie in fact hadn't ruined him – that he could move on, that he could forget her if he had to.

He didn't even notice that he was already leaning into her for a kiss as he debated it in his head. He didn't notice that she had her eyes closed and was expecting it. All he needed was just one more taste, just one more to convince himself that he could put Stephanie in his past.

He was a second away from kissing her when the elevator came, and the sound of the door opening made him pull back from Trish, bringing him back to his senses. She sighed, instinctively reaching for his hand. He gave it to her, along with a small smile, even though he was glad he had pulled away.

When he turned to go into the elevator, he was thankful he had pulled away.

Stephanie was starting to think some higher being was punishing her for her past grievances, like the rampage that was the McMahon-Helmsley era, or perhaps the times she had slapped her mother and challenged her entire family. That was her only explanation for the elevator door opening and her being greeted by the sight of Chris being an inch away from kissing Trish. It was some kind of punishment, it had to be, she was sure of it.

But just like that, in that one second it had taken for her to see them so close, in that one second she saw Trish's expecting smile for a kiss that Stephanie knew all to well, her self confidence felt like it was being broken all over again. She watched as Chris pulled away from Trish, but felt her heart ache when he still didn't notice her there. Another second later and they were holding hands… she looked at their hands together, two hands that weren't perfect. Trish's hand didn't fit Chris's the way hers did…

She looked up from their hands to see that he was looking right at her. She saw herself in the reflection of his sunglasses, and hated what she saw. Looking off to the side, she reminded herself that she didn't need him.

"Come on," Trish said, pulling on his hand. "Let's go before the door closes."

"Maybe I'll take the stairs…" he started, having caught the look of pain in Stephanie's eyes in that instant they'd made eye contact. Not to mention he felt more than a bit guilty over their exchange from the previous week.

"Oh come on," Trish said, rolling her eyes as she pulled him into the elevator with her. He followed very reluctantly, as Trish gave Stephanie a warm smile. "Hey Steph," she greeted.

Stephanie nodded to her, giving her a small smile out of politeness. She would've responded, had she trusted her voice not to crack in that moment. She moved over to the left side of the elevator as Trish stood next to her, with Chris on the other side of Trish. The elevator door closed, and it began to move again as the three fell silent.

You didn't have to be a genius to feel the tension in the elevator. Trish noticed it almost the instant that the elevator door closed. She noticed how Stephanie was looking up at the elevator floor numbers, and hadn't even said a word to Chris. She noticed how Chris was standing as far to the right as he possibly could as he stared intently at the floor. She looked back and forth between them, clearing her throat once more.

"You guys excited for the show?" she asked, and they both nodded, neither one bothering to speak. Trish nodded slowly, deciding to drop it. She gave Chris's hand a squeeze, and he looked over at her, giving her a strained smile.

"You okay?" she whispered to him, and he nodded.

If by being okay she meant he felt like he couldn't breathe, then he'd never been better.

He chanced it and snuck a look past Trish to Stephanie, and he sighed as he did. If only Trish wasn't there, not just in the elevator, but just in the overall picture, he could just end this. But it wasn't to be, it was probably never to be. And he had definitely not made things better by his stupid comments the week before. Reluctantly, he looked away from her. He didn't deserve to look at her, not after what he had said.

Trish however, wasn't buying that he was okay. She reached up to him and brushed some strands of hair out of his face, making him sigh. But when she leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek, thinking that it might put him a little more at ease, he leaned away and shook his head at her, silently telling her that now was not the time. She tilted her head as she looked at him, her feelings slightly hurt, although she was more confused than anything

He pushed the sunglasses up his nose as he cleared his throat, preferring to join Stephanie in watching the floor numbers decrease. Honestly, how long could this elevator ride last? They were barely passing the fourteenth floor.

Stephanie was asking herself the exact same question as she crossed her arms over in front of her, not daring to look over at either of them. She didn't want to look at him anymore. His words from the last week still rang in her mind, resonating through her. It was hard though, especially when out of the corner of her eye she could see some kind of movement going on, but she didn't dare look.

"Long ride," Trish mused out loud, hating the silence that was enveloping them in the elevator that seemed much too small at the moment.

"Too long," Chris and Stephanie both mumbled at the same time. Stephanie cleared her throat and lifted her chin a bit, continuing to watch the numbers as Chris went back to finding the floor rather interesting.

"Are you two okay?" Trish asked, frowning as she once again looked between them. "You guys both seem a little tense."

"We've never been better," Stephanie answered with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, finally daring to look over at him. He raised his head a little bit as he looked over at her, and almost winced at the cold look in her eyes. "Isn't that right, Chris?"

He never got the chance to respond before the ride was mercilessly over. The very instant the elevator doors opened, Stephanie was already sauntering out. Chris closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, finally feeling like he could breathe again as Trish rubbed his arm a bit.

"Chris, what's wrong?" she asked, not hiding her concern. A small part of her was still bitter about that bet he had made with Christian, but she was trying very hard to get over that. He had apologized time and time again, and she believed he was sincere. She had to believe he was sincere – it was the only way they would be friends. And perhaps, maybe even more than friends…

"It's nothing," he said with a sigh as he stepped out of the elevator, pulling his hand free from hers as she walked out as well, right on his heels.

"Don't lie, Chris, obviously something is bothering you," she said as she grabbed his arm.

"Nothing is bothering me," he repeated, starting to get frustrated.

"I'm sick and tired of you lying to me," she said sternly, turning him so he was facing her as he groaned in impatience. "So tell me the truth right now – is there something going on between you and Stephanie?"

"No," he immediately answered, shaking his head.

"Then what the hell was that all about?" she asked, and he sighed.

"Nothing, we just don't talk anymore, that's it," he told her, and she reached up to him and slowly took the sunglasses off his face. He stood still, his eyes closed as he breathed deeply.

"Nothing is going on?" she asked again, and he stayed silent for a moment. "Chris?"

"No," he repeated, slowly opening his eyes to look at her. "There's nothing to tell, because nothing happened."

She stared at him for a moment, before snorting and shaking her head. "You know what? I don't know if I believe that."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't want to tell her their past, because he was tired of dealing with that past. He didn't want to think about all those times that he'd hurt her, or that she'd hurt him. When he looked back up though, she was already walking away from him. He watched her for a few moments, wondering if he should go after her.

Instead, he turned and walked off in the opposite direction.

----

Christian was waiting by the arena entrance for Chris to arrive, glancing at his watch every few minutes. He knew he was set to arrive soon, since he had called him fifteen minutes ago and told him he was on his way. Finally, a limo pulled up, and Christian smirked at the sight.

That is, until he saw Stephanie climb out of the limo. He sneered at the sight, and she returned the sneer as she approached him.

"Where the hell does a little worker for Bischoff get the kind of money to get a limo to work?" he asked, snickering.

"Where the hell does my father find a garbage can to pull out some piece of crap like you to work for him?" she shot back, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Whoa, what's with the hostility?" he said, raising his arms. "It was an honest question, I was just curious."

"Whatever," she said as she rolled her eyes and brushed right past him. He looked over his shoulder at her as she entered the arena, snickering to himself. Chris could so do better than _that_, and he was going to see to it that Chris did end up with someone better than a McMahon.

A few minutes later, he grinned at the sight of Chris walking up towards the arena. He had his head down and looked like he was concentrating on something, and unless it was the ground, Christian figured it was probably about Trish… or perhaps Stephanie. The thought made his grin disappear, and he put on a mask of concern as Chris approached him.

"Hey CJ, why the long face man?" he asked, making Chris look up in surprise.

"I didn't even see you there," Chris said with a sigh.

"Yeah, cause you're finding the ground more appealing than your best friend," Christian said with a laugh, which wasn't returned by Chris. Christian looked at him curiously. "You okay though? Something you want to talk about?"

Chris ran a hand through his hair, looking back down at the ground. "It's just…" he started, not sure if he really wanted to go there with Christian.

"Come on man, you can talk to me," Christian said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "Is it about Trish? Cause dude, I told you, you need to cut that broad loose…"

"It's just Stephanie, I screwed things up with her," Chris mumbled, not catching the look of annoyance on Christian's face.

"CJ, come on man, you're a sexy beast! There are other fish in the sea, huh, am I right or am I right?" Christian asked as he nudged Chris in the ribs. But he just frowned and shook his head.

"You just don't get it."

"Well, you never really did tell me what the hell happened between the two of you, you only freak the hell out when I say something remotely offensive about that chick," Christian said as he rolled his eyes. "And why the hell are you so hung up on her now, when Trish is also…" his voice trailed as his suddenly widened. "Oh, you're trying to score with both of them at the same time, aren't you?"

"What?" Chris asked, looking back up only to be met with Christian's smirk.

"Dude, you're freaking awesome!" Christian said with a laugh as he patted Chris on the back. "You're trying to get both of those broads in your bed, that's so impressive --"

"I am not," Chris stated firmly as he scowled at Christian, who rolled his eyes.

"Come on, are you going to deny that you never hit that with Stephanie?" he asked, and Chris sucked at his teeth a little. Christian snickered. "Yeah, I thought so."

"That was a long time ago," Chris said in a low tone as he began walking towards the arena. Christian's mouth however dropped at this confession. He had long suspected that Chris had slept with Stephanie, but for it to be confirmed…

Chris sighed as Christian caught up to him, wishing he hadn't started this conversation. The questions were about to start pouring out…

"Dude, when?" Christian asked, and if you looked at him, you would've thought that it was Christmas and he was getting the best gift he'd ever gotten. In a way though, that's what was happening. It was so clear to him now – Chris had had some kind of relationship with Stephanie, one that was apparently no more, and he had also screwed his chances up with Trish. Now all Christian had to do was say a few things here and there, and he could have both broads off of his best friend.

And as Chris started to share his detailed history with Stephanie, Christian looked concerned although he was so happy on the inside. This was his chance to get Chris Jericho back. Chris Jericho, the first-ever Undisputed Champion, the man he had won multiple tag team titles with and battled in a vicious TLC match with, that was the person who was his best friend. That was who Christian missed, not this unsure lovesick fool that was getting too soft for his own good.

He could get his best friend back.

"And then that Halloween, you remember…" Chris said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I remember," Christian said, struggling not to let the smirk come to his face. Of course he remembered that night – that was the night that Chris had freaked the hell out over an innocent comment regarding Stephanie, after she'd kissed Bischoff… well, he had actually called her a whore, but that's what she was. And that was why Chris deserved better.

He didn't know how long they were out there talking, or how long he was there listening to Chris actually since he was just absorbing what his friend was saying, but he was almost taken aback as he watched Chris's body language as he kept relaying layer after layer of his history with the youngest McMahon. At first he had started off quietly, sounding worn out as he explained the night of Wrestlemania 18. Then his voice had progressively gotten louder as he went on, and he started speaking faster, so by the time he was telling Christian about the "just friends" agreement that Stephanie had proposed, he was practically yelling…

"After all that shit, she wanted to be just friends with me!" Chris cried out loudly, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, as Christian decided now would be a good time to speak up.

"Relax man, relax, you're getting all worked up," Christian said, frowning a little as Chris rubbed at his eyes. "So then what happened?"

"I said some stupid shit, and things haven't been the same…" Chris said as he continued rubbing his eyes, trying to rub away the tears that were threatening to come to them. "I love her man, I just don't know what to do… this thing with Trish, I just don't know… and then, oh, and then I wound up telling Trish by mistake that I loved her," he added, laughing hollowly.

"You did what?" Christian asked, legitimately surprised.

"Yeah," Chris said as he shook his head in disgust. "It was before she knew about the bet…"

"Oh, so you told Trish that you loved _her, _Trish, instead of saying you loved Stephanie?"

"Yeah," Chris said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Man, screw it all," Christian said, brushing it all off and putting an arm over Chris's shoulders. "Don't let it get to you."

"I try not to," Chris sighed. "But it's hard man, I see Stephanie every week, I fucking work with her man."

"I know," Christian said as he rolled his eyes. "But seriously, this isn't Saved by the Bell, this is Raw, you're Chris Jericho, move on man, move on to better things."

"You think I haven't tried?" Chris said, forcing a laugh. "I've tried, I just can't…" his voice trailed, and he rubbed his eyes again, and it was only then that Christian realized why he kept doing that. He grimaced in disgust at the thought that this was almost driving Chris to tears. "I'm gonna go, I need to think."

"Yeah, you do that," Christian mumbled, watching as his friend disappeared through the doors to the arena. He folded his arms over his chest, mulling over what his friend had just told him. Never would he have guessed the kind of history Chris and Stephanie shared.

But he didn't like what it was all doing to Chris. He didn't like how soft his friend was becoming, and how many matches this had probably cost him because he couldn't focus on the task at hand. He didn't like the fact that Chris had been hung up over someone who didn't deserve him for the last two years. And Trish… he scowled at the thought of Trish. If he and Chris were the Beatles, then the combination of Trish and Stephanie was surely Yoko.

Going back inside, he made up his mind. He and Chris were too much of a good team to have it threatened by either Trish or Stephanie.

He was going to make sure of that.

-----

"You talked to him?"

"I talked to him."

"And?"

"I don't know."

Lance and Benoit fell into a silence as they sat in two steel folding chairs in the locker room. They stared at each other for several moments, before Lance nodded.

"I guess we'll find out when he gets here. I'm getting tired of seeing him depressed every week."

"Seems like he's having fun with Trish," Benoit said gruffly.

"Yeah, and then you mention Stephanie and he's tearing out of the room after her," Lance said in his dull tone. Benoit grunted and went to respond, when Chris opened the door and stepped into his locker room.

He didn't even notice that they were there as he leaned back against the door, covering his eyes as he tried regaining his composure that he had very nearly lost with his conversation with Christian. That was the second week in a row that he had come clean about the history between him and Stephanie, and it was starting to take its toll on him. He took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling as slow as he could.

"Never seen you so broken down, Jericho," Benoit cut in, effectively startling Chris who jumped back a bit against the door. He took another deep breath, covering his racing heart with his hand as he looked between Benoit and Lance.

"Jesus, don't do that," he breathed, mentally cursing that he hadn't noticed them there sooner. He straightened against the door, clearing his throat a little and feeling more than bit embarrassed that he had let them see him like that. "I'm not broken down, I was just… catching my breath, that's all," he mumbled, even though he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He was blushing… how fucking humiliating, he thought bitterly to himself.

"It's Stephanie, isn't it?" Lance asked, and Chris instinctively shook his head.

"No, I'm done with that," he said, finally dropping his duffel bag.

"Didn't look like it, unless those tears were for Trish," Benoit stated.

"Tears? What tears?" he said as he snorted, but judging from the incredulous looks he was getting, he figured he wasn't being convincing. "Okay, I was tearing, but I have allergies…" he started, and Lance sighed.

"You didn't talk to her," he said, but Chris didn't answer as he reached down into his bag. "I knew it."

"You're a coward," Benoit said bluntly, and that was it for Chris. There was only so much of this that he could take.

"Stop fucking saying that!" he cried out angrily as he straightened, clenching his fists at his side. "Both of you just need to shut the hell up, because neither of you knows shit about it!"

"Well -"

"You don't know shit about it!" Chris yelled again, his vision becoming blurred with angry tears of frustration. "She doesn't want to fucking hear it, alright! I fucked up, okay? I'm an idiot, you don't think I don't fucking know that! Huh! I know that!"

Benoit and Lance both just stared at him, and he stared back at them as he panted, his face red from his anger and his eyes glistening with tears. Benoit then rose slowly, his face still expressionless, the way it was when Chris had unexpectedly arrived. He stared at Chris for a moment.

"Is that it?" he said, and Chris looked at him in confusion.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he demanded, rubbing impatiently at his eyes.

"You're not going to talk to her because you think she doesn't want to hear it?"

Chris once again clenched his fists and closed his eyes, trying desperately to keep his temper in check. "I don't think, Benoit, I know, alright? I fucking _know _that she doesn't want to hear it, okay? I fucked up, haha, let's all laugh at Chris, he's the biggest idiot in the whole damn company!" he seethed, opening his eyes to glare at Benoit. "Is that what you want me to say, huh? Well there it is, I hope you're both fucking happy."

"No," Lance said as he rose as well. "What we want from you is to just tell Stephanie that you love her… maybe because we're your friends, and we don't like seeing our friends coming into their locker rooms in tears, when those friends can avoid it."

"You think I like being this way? You think I like walking in here and having two friends watch me being broken up over a girl?" Chris shot back. "Well, you're wrong, okay? I don't like it, I fucking hate it, but there's nothing for me to do now, she doesn't even want to…" he stopped and took a deep breath, regaining some semblance of control over his emotions before looking back up at them. "You know what? It doesn't even matter… it doesn't matter."

"It does, Jericho… look at yourself, and tell us it doesn't matter… you're running," Benoit stated, and Chris just shook his head. "You are, stop running from her."

"I am _not _running," Chris said with a sigh, closing his eyes and feeling the fight drain out of him.

"You are," Lance agreed. "And we just don't understand why."

"Maybe you're not supposed to know why!" Chris snapped. "Maybe both of you need to back the fuck off of me and let me live my life! This isn't any of your business, this doesn't fucking concern either of you, so back off!"

Benoit narrowed his eyes and approached Chris, who immediately tensed and instinctively braced himself. Finally, Benoit was standing a few mere inches from Chris, who was almost daring him to make a move. Benoit tilted his head as he looked at him, before slowly shaking his head.

"You're running," he said bluntly with a nod.

"I am _not_," Chris said in a dangerous tone. "Stop fucking saying that man…"

"You know, Jericho, sometimes it's okay to run," Benoit said with another nod, as Chris looked at him curiously. "You pick your battles. You fight some, you don't fight some. You win some of those fights, and you lose some. You're a fighter, Jericho, like me, like Storm here. You have to be to survive the Dungeon."

"What the hell's your point?" Chris sighed.

"The point is, the day you walked into the Dungeon, you believed in yourself. If you didn't, you would've been thrown out on your ass, you wouldn't have made it a week."

"Now if only you could apply that confidence somewhere else," Lance added, and Benoit nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, or at least pick better things to run from… because this isn't one of them," Benoit stated. "And that's all I'm going to say to you, because if you don't understand that, then you really are clueless. I'll see you later on the show."

And with that, Benoit brushed past him and exited the locker room as Chris stood in silence. Lance headed over and patted him on his shoulder, before also following Benoit out of the room. He knew that Chris needed space and time to think about things.

He knew him well.

----

Christian had a huge smirk on his face as Eric Bischoff announced that he'd be teaming with Chris to once again challenge for the tag team championship. Honestly, the day just couldn't get much better for him.

And then a certain brunette came into his view, and he was quickly proved wrong.

Shrugging his shoulders a bit the way only he could do, he strolled over to where she was speaking to other backstage workers. As he got closer, he took a deep breath and wiped the smirk off his face, instead donning a look of mild concern. He waited until the group of workers disbanded, and Stephanie walked away. He immediately went after her.

"Steph, Stephanie, wait, wait," he said as he jogged up behind her. She looked over her shoulder at him, before giving him a dirty look.

"If you came to be a jackass again, I'm not interested," she said snidely, and he shook his head.

"No, I just need to talk to you," he said in an apparently honest and dangerously sincere tone. She sighed.

"What is it, Christian? I'm busy," she said, struggling not to snap at him.

He took a deep breath and approached her a bit, lowering his voice as he spoke, "Listen, Stephanie, Chris is my best friend, but I think he's really doing you wrong here."

She narrowed her eyes at him in confusion, ignoring the way her heart still raced at the sound of his name. "What? What do you mean?" she asked, a little more timidly than she wanted to sound. God, was he spreading their story around? The thought was near mortifying for her…

"Do you love him?" he asked in a low voice, his eyes boring into her. She sucked a bit at her teeth, and he nodded, looking to the side for a moment as it all suddenly became clear. Her silence spoke much louder than words, and it spoke a truth that he had feared. He now realized that if anyone was a threat to his friendship with Chris, it was this woman standing right in front of him. "Well, that's what I figured, and that's what I've been telling him…"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right…"

"I'm serious," he said, looking at her in concern. "We travel together a lot Stephanie, he tells me a lot of things, he's told me everything about you and what you guys have been through."

"He has?" she asked, trying hard not to sound nonchalant, even though she was feeling incredibly small.

"Yeah, and I'm really sorry that you love him," he said in a regretful tone. "I mean, with the things he always says about you, it's almost foolish on your end…"

"Excuse me?" she said, her heart suddenly feeling like it was in overdrive. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well," he said, appearing almost uncomfortable by the conversation. "We're best friends, so he's totally honest with me about like, you know, everything… everything, Stephanie," he added, hoping she'd get the message. The way her eyes were widening in disbelief meant he was successful…

She cleared her throat, not wanting to know, and yet needing to know. "And uh… what exactly is everything, Christian?"

"I kind of disagree with him on a lot of this stuff, you know," he told her, deliberately avoiding her question. "I disagree with his viewpoint, I mean, it almost makes me ashamed that we're even friends… first he goes and suggests that bet with Trish, and then…"

"Wait, what?" Stephanie asked, her head spinning as she remembered the horrible conversation they had had that night. "But he said he didn't want to do it…"

"Yeah right," he said as he rolled his eyes. "He's just trying to get you off track Stephanie, I mean, he told Trish he loved her for God's sake… and then, to top it off, he said he was only using you for a cheap lay because you were easy, God Stephanie, you don't know how many fights we've had over this, but that's how he sees things…"

Even with everything that happened, even through it all, there was a thin shred of hope that Stephanie wanted to cling onto for dear life. She needed to hang onto the belief that Christian was wrong, that he was so wrong about this. Feeling incredibly numb, she shook her head, not able to speak and missing the smirk that was spreading on Christian's face as her mind ran over endless thoughts. Sure, the thought that he was using her had crossed her mind, but had he really been saying these things about her? Was Christian serious when he said that Chris was in love with Trish?

She turned away from Christian, not hearing him anymore. She couldn't hear him, she couldn't talk to him, but most of all, she couldn't believe him. Holding her hands together that had started to tremble, she walked away, not even hearing Bischoff barking orders at her through her headset. She couldn't think anything except for one thing.

She needed to talk to Chris.

----

Chris didn't regret the decision to run out to help Trish in her match against Kane, a match that he was incredibly pissed had been booked after he had given up his favor to nix the exact same match the previous week. He didn't regret saving someone he considered a close friend, and helping her escape to the back to get away from the madman named Kane. No, he didn't regret it one bit.

That is, until Kane rammed his knee into the steel ring post.

He clutched his knee as he rolled over onto his side, grimacing in pain. And yet, a part of him welcomed the pain that was shooting up his entire leg. This kind of pain he could deal with. This kind of pain was nothing, and would disappear in time.

It was his emotional pain that was tearing him apart.

It took a few, but as he made it backstage with the help of multiple referees, he knew he would have to see the trainer. He sighed as Trish instantly came up to him, the concern almost radiating from her as he pushed the referee he was leaning on away.

"Oh my God Chris, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," he said as he winced. He offered her a weak smile, and was rewarded as she threw her arms around him, almost knocking him over.

"Thank you so much," she whispered into his ear, and he somehow maintained his balance enough to hug her back.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it," he whispered back as he winced again. She pulled back from him a bit, as he leaned up against a near wall, biting his lip as he tried sucking up the pain.

"You need to get checked out, Chris," Trish said in a worried tone, and he nodded.

"Yeah, just give me a minute," he said as he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes for a moment. The initial pain would die down in a little bit, he just needed a few seconds to absorb it, and then he'd be able to at least limp to the trainer's.

Stephanie meanwhile, found herself concerned over her better judgment. She poked her head into the trainer's room, expecting to see him there, but he was nowhere to be seen. Slightly confused, she headed over to the gorilla position, wondering if they knew where he had gone.

And that's when she saw them together. Jealousy did not become Stephanie – not usually, anyways. But to see Trish concerned about Chris and touching him, it did something to her that she couldn't quite place. She forced his words from the previous week back into her mind, and felt that familiar sting of her own pain… pain caused by steel words instead of a steel post. She approached slowly...

"Chris," Trish started, and he looked back at her, trying not to wince.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember when you said you loved me?"

Had Chris not been leaning up against the wall, he might've fallen over from that statement. He looked at her with disbelief in his eyes.

"Yeah, I remember," he said as he tilted his head, looking at her curiously. "Trish, this is a little weird timing…"

"You said you meant it."

He sighed at that and closed his eyes. "Yeah, I did."

"What about it Trish?" Chris sighed, pushing himself off the wall and wincing as he did, shifting his weight to his good leg. She was immediately there for him, taking his arm and putting it over her shoulders. He hopped a bit as he tried regaining his balance, and she leaned up to him as he did.

"I love you too," she said with a small smile, and the words made him lose his balance completely as he fell down. She called for help as he groaned and instantly clutched his knee in pain, but once again, he welcomed it. It got his mind off those words that he didn't deserve… words that were coming from the wrong person.

And he was willing to take a thousand chair shots from Kane and participate in hundreds of Elimination Chambers, if it only meant that he could hear them from the right person.

Stephanie was leaning against the wall around the corner from where Chris had been leaning, no more than a few feet away from him. When she heard his words though, she had to leave. She didn't know where she was going, but Lord help her, she couldn't stop the tears even if she tried. How could she be so stupid to keep holding onto this ridiculous hope that maybe, just maybe, things could work out between them? She covered her eyes in shame, struggling to keep some kind of composure, but she was losing it. Her chest was tightening, and the tears she had sworn never to shed for him again were already streaking down her cheeks…

Christian was right... she was a fool.


	19. Unraveling

**February 9th, 2004**

_Stephanie and Trish._

Chris ran a hand over his face as he sat in his locker room, wondering how in the hell he ended up in these kinds of situations. How was it possible that he had let things get to this point with Trish? How could he have let it all fall apart with Stephanie? He shook his head, knowing that he should've seen the situation with Trish coming. He should've seen the signs that she was getting too attached to him.

He slammed his fist down on the bench he was sitting on, clenching his teeth together as he thought of the hole he was in with both of them. The woman he loved didn't want anything to do with him, and then someone he didn't care for in the romantic sense had confessed her love for him. And what had he done about it?

_Stephanie or Trish?_

Nothing. Not a damn thing. Like so many things in his life, he had done nothing to rectify a bad situation, one which was growing worse before his very eyes. It would've been so easy to make things right, so incredibly easy on his part. He could have easily just told her right there, right in the moment, he could've just told Trish that it was all a huge misunderstanding. He could've ended it that night, cut his ties with her and just ended the charade. Because at the end of the day, what the hell did he have? He didn't have who he really needed, so why string Trish along any further?

He was wasting his time if he didn't do anything. And he'd already wasted enough time. Hadn't he?

_Two years…_

He could easily take the coward's way out. He could give her up and settle for Trish instead. He smiled a little as he thought about Trish, and the way she really cared about him. She had been there for him through so much, and he knew, deep down he knew that he couldn't break her heart again.

But did that really mean he had to be miserable to spare her feelings?

_Trish or Stephanie?_

He groaned loudly as he covered his face with his hands. He knew the answer to that question. It was the question that had popped into his head whenever he had attempted to sleep at night over the last week. It was the same question that had come to mind whenever he had opened his door to find Trish standing on the other side of it, smiling at him in the way he didn't deserve to be smiled at. It was bad enough that he had his issues with Stephanie, but throwing Trish into the mix only served to complicate his problems. How could he go after Stephanie with Trish claiming she loved him? Where the hell could he go from there?

Each question had its answer, an answer that he never had to think about because he could feel it. Each question's answer resonated through him, and told him the truth. Lance and Benoit were right – he was running from that truth. He knew it, of course. He had known that for the past two years. It was nothing new to him.

He also knew what he had to do, but he just didn't want to do it. He wanted to do a lot of things, but breaking Trish's heart again and losing her friendship weren't among them.

He was startled then as Christian sauntered into the room, throwing back the door loudly. Exhaling deeply, he looked up at his best friend, who was looking at him curiously.

"Hey man, why the long face? Look like you've seen a ghost or something," Christian said with a laugh. "How's the knee?"

"It's fine," Chris said shortly with a shrug. "I'm just thinking."

"About?" Christian asked as he tossed his duffel bag to the side. He went and took a seat on a folding chair in the room, tilting his head as he looked at Chris, who appeared to be lost in thought.

"Things," Chris mumbled, and Christian rolled his eyes.

"You're thinking about Stephanie again, aren't you?" he demanded, trying to keep his voice neutral even though there was a hint of a snide tone in his voice.

Chris didn't catch the difference in his friend's voice. Instead, he flinched at the sound of her name. It brought him a strange kind of pain deep down that he couldn't place, and couldn't get rid of either. He would probably never be able to get rid of it until the day he could somehow make her his again.

It was a day he was sure had passed him by.

"No, I'm thinking about Trish," he said in a low tone, almost in a daze as his head started hurting from thinking about the situation with the two women. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with two fingers, urging the headache away. "She said she loved me."

"Really?" Christian asked as he raised an eyebrow. "She said that?"

"Yeah, last week… I don't know what to do here," Chris admitted reluctantly. "I don't love her man… I never have. I just wanted to fix things after that bet, but make her fall in love with me?" He snorted at the thought.

Christian nodded, a serious look on his face as he contemplated his friends words. Or at least, pretended to do so. He was in fact rather disgusted with how soft Chris was becoming. It wasn't like him, and in retrospect, it shouldn't have been like him. Chris had always had girls flocking towards him, so why he was so hung up on two specific girls was blowing Christian away.

"What are you going to do?"

Chris looked down at the floor, wringing his hands together unconsciously. "I don't know," he finally answered after a moment, even though he knew deep down what he was going to do. "I should've just told her last week, instead of --"

"Snapping at me not to yell at her?" Christian offered, and this time Chris picked up on the bitter edge in his tone.

"Sorry man," Chris said sincerely as he remembered the week before, even though he didn't look up. "I was just, I wasn't thinking straight in the trainer's room. She told me right before I went that she loved me, it just…" he shook his head in defeat. "And you know, I was about to tell her too, I was going to tell her right there in the trainer's room."

"So why didn't you?"

"You came in," Chris replied with a forced laugh. "You came in, and I was so frustrated, I just kinda snapped and let it out on you. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay," Christian said with a shrug, even though he had a frown on his face. "I know how it is with chicks, they screw with you, it's cool."

"I guess," Chris said absent-mindedly.

"Don't be so down about it, screw them both," Christian said as he stood up. "We should worry about bigger things man, like winning the Tag Team Championship again! Think about it CJ, we'd be back on top of the mountain, right where we both belong."

"I need to talk to her," Chris mumbled, more to himself than anything. "I have to talk to her."

"Dude, did you hear anything I just said?" Christian asked, and Chris looked back up at him in confusion.

"What? No, sorry, I don't think I did," he said with a frown as he stood up. "I have to talk to Trish, sorry man."

"Oh come _on_ Chris!" Christian cried out in frustration, but his friend was already walking towards the door. He sighed in defeat, shaking his head sadly at the thought of his best friend falling for these women who weren't worth a dime combined.

"Sorry," Chris repeated distractedly, not really meaning it as he left his locker room. He looked down the hallways, not knowing where Trish's locker room was. He didn't care though, he'd wander in search of it all night if he had to. He just had to talk to her, to tell her what he had decided to do about their predicament. Of course, she probably didn't think of it as a predicament, but he still needed to talk to her.

He was determined to set the record straight.

Christian was seething as he watched Chris leave the locker room the two were sharing. Just like that, without a look back, without a care, going to say who knows what to Trish. He sucked at his teeth a bit, angry at this sudden display of emotion towards Trish. All of this was starting to really get under his skin. It was starting to make Chris lose focus, and it was starting to make Christian doubt his friend's taste. Honestly, if it wasn't Stephanie, it was Trish. Why the hell couldn't Chris just listen to him and take the high road, ignoring them both until someone better came along for him?

"Unbelievable," he mumbled under his breath, shaking his head as he went over and sat down on the bench where Chris had been not a minute before. He cracked his knuckles, wondering who he was scheduled to face that night. He had come dressed to wrestle, some loose jeans on over his ring tights in the meantime. He was craving action, and figured since Chris had left him _again, _he could just get ready for whatever match he had that night.

_At least _I_ still give a damn about my matches, _he snorted, before grabbing Chris's duffel bag and pulling it over to him. He had realized after he'd left that he was out of wrist tape, but that wasn't a big deal. He knew Chris always carried more than enough. _Better safe than sorry _was his friend's motto, and when the first thing he saw upon opening the bag was his wrist tape laying on top of his ring tights, he knew he could always depend on Chris.

He picked up the wrist tape and began methodically taping his right wrist, all the while wondering what to do about Chris. He somehow knew it was up to him to get Chris's head back into the game and get his best friend focused on what was important – like winning gold for a change.

And that was when he saw it.

He didn't know how he noticed it, because he sure as hell hadn't been looking for it. A quick glance at Chris's bag though and it somehow caught his eye. He leaned over and peered into the bag, seeing the spiral of some kind of notebook buried at the bottom of his friend's bag.

Ripping off the rest of the wrist tape, he reached down into Chris's bag and moved things aside – his clothes, his ring tights, his wrestling boots, his guards, his towel – he moved it all until he found what had caught his eye.

A notebook. A familiar notebook at that…

_No way, _he thought in bewilderment as he opened the notebook carefully, as if it was fragile. There was no way that this was the same notebook Chris had once been writing in to Stephanie. There was just no possible way that he was still holding onto her… was there?

There was only one way to find out. He flipped it open and began to read.

---

Stephanie was getting sick and tired of a lot of things. At the top of her list though had to be Eric Bischoff treating her like the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. But there she stood, like the good little employee her father always wanted her to be. She stood there and took everything he dished out to her, not batting an eyelash and not intimidated in the slightest.

"You all need to work harder to make this show run smoother!" he yelled, glaring at the group of workers he had assembled backstage, at the forefront of which was Stephanie. "Vince McMahon doesn't take second best rate production, and neither will I! I expect you all to finish the tasks that I assign you, is that clear?"

There was a mumbled agreement among the workers, before Bischoff nodded in approval.

"Good! I'll start with my _favorite _employee," he said with a forced smile in Stephanie's direction. "Ms. McMahon, if you would be so kind, would you go and inform Chris Benoit that he's facing Ric Flair tonight?"

"Sure," she said, faking a sweet tone and returning his forced smile with one of her own. Just as she was about to leave, he called out again.

"Oh, and before I forget, will you tell those two lovebirds Jericho and Trish that they're teaming up tonight to face Molly and Matt Hardy?" he said snidely, making her close her eyes momentarily. "Thanks, you're the best Steph!" he added, before turning back to his other workers. "Now as far as the rest of you go…"

Stephanie sighed heavily as she walked away from him. She was seriously starting to question whether or not she could handle working for that man much longer. There were very few reasons for her to stay, if there were any at all. Come to think of it, there had never been a real reason for her to stay. The only reason why she had taken the job was to get away from her mother for a while, but now that she had fully seen what this job had to offer… she didn't think the trade-off matched up in the least. She'd much rather be babied to death by her mother than be treated like shit at the hands of Bischoff.

But unfortunately, her genes didn't let her be a quitter. And so she would stay as long as she could, perhaps longer than what was good for her. That's who she was though. She had a tendency to stick with things way past when she should… sighing again, she figured relaying a message to Chris Benoit would be much easier than going to see Trish.

The longer she could put off seeing Trish, the better.

---

Chris Benoit was a man who took his career very seriously. This was the night when he was scheduled to do a contract signing with Triple H, thus cementing his status as the official number one contender for the heavyweight championship. He therefore had many things on his mind, like how to adequately prepare to walk out of Wrestlemania as the new champion, or how to maneuver around the current champion who was undefeated in the last two Wrestlemanias.

He therefore had less time and zero patience to deal with his friend Chris's stupidity in handling his love life.

He finished his push-up repetitions before looking up at Lance, who was watching him, an almost bored expression on his face. Benoit snorted at the look as he switched hands to do his push-ups on his right hand.

"He's a coward," he said bluntly as he began doing his repetitions again.

"I don't understand him."

"He's right, you know," Benoit stated, as he continued doing his push-ups almost rhythmically. "It's his life, and if he wants to screw it up, then I say let him."

"He's been like this for almost two years." Benoit merely grunted in response, choosing to focus more on his push-ups as Lance sighed. "I always knew he was stubborn, but I don't think I ever realized how stubborn he could really be." Benoit snorted at that, and Lance nodded. "Yeah, I know, I should've seen it."

"Who cares anyways?" Benoit demanded. "It's his life and he doesn't want to listen, so who cares? I don't have time to deal with him being a coward, I've got to focus on Triple H," he stated, his push-ups increasing in speed at the mention of his arch nemesis. "I've about had it with Jericho."

Lance was about to respond when there was a knocking on the door. He looked at Benoit who didn't appear like he was going to stop doing his push-ups any time soon, and so he stood up and headed to the door instead.

He was surprised to find that it was Stephanie on the other side, and judging by the look on her face, she was also surprised to see him. He silently took in her appearance to make sure that she was doing fine, hoping that Chris's ignorance wasn't taking its toll on her. From what he could tell, she looked tired. Her demeanor was sharp and professional, but her eyes were clouded with fatigue.

"Can I help you?" he asked in his monotone voice, folding his arms over his chest.

"I was just sent to tell Chris that he has a match against Ric Flair tonight."

"Benoit, not Jericho, I'm assuming?" he asked, noting the way she flinched at the sound of the latter name.

"Yeah, Benoit, right," she said with a nod, her face suddenly gaining a tint of red. Lance nodded before looking over his shoulder at the Canadian who was still rather relentlessly doing his push-ups on the floor.

"You got Ric Flair tonight," he informed him, earning only a grunt in response. Lance shook his head and turned back to Stephanie.

"He's in a bit of a zone right now, don't mind him," he said in an easy tone. He noticed that she seemed almost reluctant to leave, and she also seemed uncomfortable standing there awkwardly. "Do you want to come in and sit down for a little while?" he asked, motioning towards the locker room.

She gave him a small smile but shook her head. "No, I really should be going," she stated, even though she wasn't giving any indication that she wanted to leave.

"Okay then… do you mind if I ask you some things?" he asked carefully, not wanting to upset her. He knew that all McMahons had fiery tempers, and Stephanie was definitely no exception to the rule.

"So long as it's not about him," she stated in a void tone, and he nodded, already knowing what she was talking about.

"No, I respect that," he told her, hoping she didn't feel like he was putting her on the spot, because that wasn't his intention. "It's not my business to get involved in. I just wanted to see how you were doing, how things are going for you."

"Look," Stephanie said, in a harsher tone than she had intended, "If he's making you ask these questions, then I swear --"

"He's not," Lance said, cutting her off. "Trust me, he's not. I'm no one's messenger, Stephanie. If he has something to say to you, then he's not going to do it through me. I just wanted to make sure that you're doing okay, since he's too much of a jackass to do it himself."

"Thanks for the concern," she told him, in a more relaxed tone than before. "I'm fine, but thanks for asking."

"No problem," he said, shrugging to show it wasn't a big deal. "And Stephanie?" he stated, just as she was turning to leave.

"Yeah?"

"He'll come around."

Stephanie looked away from him so that he wouldn't see how his words were affecting her. She would have responded, had she had a voice to respond with. Instead, she walked away, embarrassed to even look at him. She knew that Lance meant well, because the man wasn't an actor and couldn't force those kinds of words. Even so, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was just pity he was bestowing on her. Surely, if Christian knew of her past with Chris, then Lance also knew. All of his friends must've known, and the thought made her walk even faster.

_He'll come around. _She snorted at the thought, even as her heart began to ache. His three short words made her ache for that hope that she had given up on…

Meanwhile, Chris had finally found Trish's locker room. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, telling himself he had to do this. He was already here, he couldn't back out now. Raising his fist, he knocked twice on her door, before waiting for some kind of response. When none came, he pushed open the door a bit and poked his head in sheepishly, as if expecting her to be changing or something of that nature. Seeing that the room was truly empty, he pushed open the door and headed inside, putting his hands in his jean pockets as he did.

Figuring he might as well wait, he went and sat down on a steel folding chair in the room. He leaned back in it, hoping she wouldn't be long. He really needed to talk to her and didn't want it to wait for that much longer…

---

Christian could not believe the depths to which Chris Jericho had fallen over the last two years.

He laughed in disbelief at the notebook that he had found at the bottom of his bag, not sure what to even make of this. Honestly, the entire idea was so stupid, so… juvenile, it was just so trivial in the grand scheme of things, and Christian didn't know what he had to do to make Chris see that. Why was it so hard for him to see that Stephanie was only dragging him down?

He drummed his fingers along the cover of the regular spiral notebook, wondering what he should do. And there were many things he could do. His natural instinct was to confront Chris once he returned and lay down the law, make him somehow see that this wasn't good for him. If having a girl was what his best friend was craving, Christian could easily hook him up with someone. But this infatuation with Stephanie McMahon was consuming Chris, and it was starting to strain their own friendship.

He casually flipped the notebook open again, shaking his head in disgust as he flipped through the pages randomly.

"Pathetic," he mumbled, the wheels in his head turning. This situation was worse than what he had imagined, and he was going to have to do something about it. But what?

Just then, the door to the locker room was pushed open. He looked up, and smiled as his answer walked into the room.

"Hey Christian," Trish said, slightly wary of the man who was sitting in front of her. He'd been acting strange to her over the last few weeks, and it made her wish Chris had better judgment when it came to his friends. There was something she didn't trust about Christian, and the way he was smirking at her just then was slightly unnerving to her.

"If you're looking for Chris, he's not here," he said nonchalantly. "He went looking for you in your locker room I think."

"Oh," she said, looking slightly disappointed. "I was in catering, so I should probably go find him."

"Wait, Trish, wait just a sec," Christian said as he stood up. Trish had already turned towards the door, and looked back at him curiously.

"What is it?" she asked, looking at him with distrust in her eyes as he headed over to her.

"I heard about you and Chris," he said carefully, noting how her eyes seemed to almost sparkle at the sound of his name. She smiled at the thought of him, and nodded to Christian.

"I'm glad," she said politely, and Christian suddenly felt a strange feeling run through him at the sight of her so happy. It started high in his chest and slowly coursed through him until it settled in his stomach, where it suddenly began to gnaw at him. It was a strange feeling that he hadn't felt for a long time, so long in fact that it took him a few extra seconds to recognize it for what it was.

Guilt… and he wasn't quite sure he knew from what. But if he knew, he wasn't going to accept it. Not until he absolutely had to anyways…

"Trish," he started, looking slightly uncomfortable as his eyes relayed concern. This time though, he was genuine. "I don't think you really know what you're getting into with Chris."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her eyes narrowing at him.

"You do know about his past with Stephanie, don't you?"

"Yeah, he doesn't have one," she answered, and Christian shook his head, legitimately feeling bad for her. He handed her the notebook he had found, which she took reluctantly. "What's this?"

"Something that says differently."

---

Chris looked at his watch, wondering what was taking Trish so long. His good knee was jittering up and down as he continued to wait, even though he could feel himself getting restless. He didn't even know what he was going to say, or how to even begin this conversation.

It didn't matter though. So long as he walked out a free man without any sort of commitment to Trish, then it would be okay.

_Maybe we can be friends, _he thought to himself, before snickering. He knew that that wasn't going to happen. He'd be lucky if she didn't hate him after lying to her for this long. He ran a hand over his face, hoping she'd just show up soon, lest he lose his nerve and back out of it.

A few minutes later, he stood up, feeling slightly frustrated at having to wait so long. If she wasn't going to come to her locker room, then he was going to go find her. He was going to go track her down, and tell her that this was all a big misunderstanding. Maybe he'd even tell her that she deserved better than him, even though the thought made him roll his eyes. It was a line that meant nothing to him, but he'd spew a thousand similar lines to her if it meant she'd back off and not hate him in the end.

Determined now, he only managed to take two steps towards the door before it pushed open on its own. He opened his mouth to greet Trish, before realizing that it wasn't Trish that had walked in, which effectively killed any train of thought he had.

Stephanie was busy looking down at her clipboard as she walked inside, not bothering with knocking since Trish didn't have anything she hadn't seen before. She also figured that if she kept her eyes glued to her clipboard, she wouldn't have to see Trish's maddening smile as she kept mentioning Chris over and over. Some of her coworkers had already told her about the happy-go-lucky mood Trish was in, and Stephanie wanted none of it.

"Hey, I just came in to tell you that you're teaming with Jericho tonight against Molly and Matt Hardy," she said in a detached voice, not even looking up as she flipped through another page on her clipboard. "Oh, and before I forget, Bischoff also wanted me to tell you that my dad has some time at the top of the show, and so your match is the first scheduled one on the card."

"Good to know," a male voice responded in a similarly detached voice, and Stephanie closed her eyes and bit her lip as she recognized that voice. She would always be able to recognize his voice – it was just unfortunate for her that she was always subjected to hearing it.

Chris suddenly found himself unable to breathe as he stared at her. His eyes were taking in every little detail of her, everything that gave him some kind of insight to how she was doing. He noticed her oversized Wrestlemania shirt and the way she had just thrown her hair back into a loose ponytail, telling him that she had woken up too late to dress up the way she liked to. She wasn't wearing her favorite pair of earrings that her grandmother had given her, which told him that something was deeply bothering her. The slow way she had walked into the locker room showed him that she was tired, and having caught only a glimpse of her eyes, he could tell that she was exhausted.

There were a few strands of hair in her face, and his fingers itched to brush them back. His body was aching for this woman, and yet his feet were rooted to the spot. He watched as Stephanie nodded, her eyes still closed, before spinning around on her heel and heading towards the door.

But he wasn't about to let her walk out of his life again.

Stephanie was more than a little startled when the door that she was pulling back to leave the locker room was immediately closed again from behind her, courtesy of him. She ran her tongue over her teeth a bit as she looked at his hand that had come out over her shoulder and closed the door, raising her chin and refusing to look at him. Her heart started pounding when she could feel him standing dangerously close behind her, her body immediately picking up his body heat.

"You can't ignore me forever," he whispered behind her, sending chills down her spine.

"Watch me," she stated in a cold voice, determined not to give in to him. She was met with silence for a few seconds, before hearing him release a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about what I said," he said, making Stephanie breathe in as she heard the borderline pleading in his voice. "I didn't mean it, and you didn't deserve it."

He stared at the back of her head, wishing she'd turn around to just acknowledge him. He almost didn't want to breathe, silently urging her to turn around so he could tell her to her face that he was sorry about his comments two weeks before. Tilting his head a little bit, he watched as she stood in silence, not saying a word.

He was more than relieved when she finally did turn to face him, but that relief was short-lived since she accompanied that with the hardest slap she could muster up. He didn't see it coming, and before he knew it his head was shot to the right and the left side of his face was stinging as he stumbled back a few steps. Wincing, he rubbed the side of his face as he looked at her.

"Are you also sorry for calling me a whore to your friends?" she demanded, a slight tremor in her voice as he looked at her in confusion. "Are you sorry for using me all those times you wanted an easy lay? Hmm? You sorry for that, Jericho?"

"What? What are you talking about?" he asked, feeling almost hurt that she would think he was capable of doing that to her. "Stephanie, I never –"

"Stop," she said, her exhaustion ringing clear in her voice. "I know what you've been saying."

"Steph, no," he said as he shook his head, his frustration starting to spill over. He stepped back up to her and went to grab her arm, but she pulled away from him. "I've never said those things about you, never, how could you even think that?"

"Maybe you should watch what you tell your friends," she spat out at him, before turning back towards the door. He stood in stunned silence, watching as she exited the locker room. Running a hand through his hair, he tried to make sense out of this, but nothing was making sense anymore.

---

"I don't believe you," Trish said, fighting the tears that were stinging her eyes as Christian relayed a scary truth to her. "He's not lying to me."

"He _is _lying to you, Trish, don't you see it?" Christian stated. "He doesn't care about you, it's right here, the proof is right here. Insult Stephanie and he flips the hell out, don't you see that it's never been you?"

He watched as she fought back tears, and for some reason, this made him feel incredibly pissed at Chris. Trish had real feelings for him, and Chris was screwing everything up for her. Christian didn't know why he suddenly cared about Trish's feelings, but he did know that she didn't deserve to be screwed over the way she was. He couldn't care less for Stephanie, because he always considered her a spoiled little Daddy's girl, but Trish was making his guilt rise as she struggled to retain her composure in front of him.

"I don't believe it," Trish said, handing the notebook back to him. "He loves me, he's told me."

"He didn't mean it, he told me that," Christian said, but Trish shook her head.

"No, you're just trying to screw with us," she told him bitterly, and he sighed.

"I'm not, I'm trying to help you," he said genuinely, but the mistrust was back in her eyes, and he realized he wasn't going to be able to take that look away for a while. "Alright," he said with a shrug. "I told you the truth, if you don't want to believe it, then fine."

"Whatever."

"Fine, find out the hard way then."

"He loves me," she asserted again, and he just shook his head.

"You're only fooling yourself," he told her, before his cell phone started ringing in his pocket. He excused himself from Trish and stepped outside of the locker room before he answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"CJ, what's up?" he said, lowering his tone so that Trish wouldn't overhear. He didn't want her to run back into his arms, not if he could help it… it was his good deed for the day he told himself. It wasn't a big deal.

"Did you say something to Stephanie?" Chris asked bluntly, surprising Christian.

"No, I haven't talked to her in a long time," he said in a confused tone. "Why, what's wrong?"

"She has this idea that I've been using her… I don't know," Chris sighed, making Christian roll his eyes. "I just wanted to see if maybe you knew something."

Christian thought to himself for a moment, before a smirk came to his face. "You know, I do recall Lance saying earlier that he wanted to say a few words to her, maybe you should ask him?"

"Well I could, but Lance wouldn't do that."

"You _do _know that he doesn't want you to be with Stephanie, right?" Christian asked in mock concern.

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, bewildered now. Just what the hell was going on behind his back?

"Yeah, I heard him telling Benoit that it's making you really soft and pathetic, this pining for Stephanie… I mean, I tried telling him that at the end of the day, true love is true love, you know? But he doesn't get that and he thinks it's making you pathetic."

"Get the hell out of here man, Lance isn't like that."

"Chris, man, I'm your best friend, I'm serious," Christian said in his most sincere tone as he turned and walked back into the locker room. Trish was sitting on the bench in the room, her arms wrapped around herself, which made him sigh. He went and sat next to her, giving her a look of sympathy. "You really need to find out if he talked to her. I bet you that he did."

"Well, I'll talk to him and see what he says."

Christian smirked a little as he rubbed Trish's shoulder in comfort. "Trust me, you won't regret it."

---

Chris was wandering down the hallways aimlessly, not wanting to believe it. He had no reason to believe it. And yet, he didn't really have a reason to doubt Christian either.

Of course, it didn't make any sense to him. But nothing was making any sense to him, so why would this be any different? All he knew was that someone was trying to screw him over behind his back by telling Stephanie lies about him, and the thought was enough to make him want to beat the hell out of somebody. If he found out that one of his friends was indeed stabbing him in the back, there would be hell to pay.

He was startled when someone clapped him on the back, rudely interrupting his train of thought. Looking to his side, he saw Lance breaking into stride with him.

"Hey Lance," he greeted with a nod, even though he was looking at Lance with a wary eye.

"Jericho," Lance said in acknowledgement. "You look like you have a lot on your mind."

"I'm just trying to figure Stephanie out," Chris said with a frown. "I don't understand her sometimes."

"Oh yeah, speaking of Stephanie, I talked to her for a while today," Lance said, which immediately made Chris stop walking.

"You did?" he asked curiously, and Lance didn't catch the hint of distrust in his friend's eyes.

"Yeah, we talked a little bit about you," Lance said with a shrug, as Chris simply stared at him. Lance gave him a strange look. "Are you okay, Jericho? You're not going to ask what we talked about?"

Chris was trying very hard to keep his temper in check, but his fists were already tightly clenched as he glared at Lance. Forcing himself to breathe, he counted to five before finally nodding. "Alright, what did you talk about?"

"She didn't want to talk about you, but you know, I tried giving her some hope. You ought to thank me," he said in his monotone voice, snickering a little at the end. Chris's eyes narrowed as he maintained his glare on Lance.

"You're lying to me, aren't you?" he demanded, making Lance look at him like he was crazy.

"What, you don't think I talked to her? Of course I did, I'm capable of talking to her you know," he said matter-of-factly.

All of a sudden something inside of Chris snapped, and before Lance knew it, Chris had shoved him back hard against the wall behind him, clenching handfuls of Lance's Raw shirt as he pinned the bewildered man against the wall.

"What the fuck did you really say to her!" he yelled in Lance's face, pulling a fist back. "And don't lie to me, Storm!"

Lance, however, reached his own breaking point with Chris. Suddenly beyond fed up with his too-stubborn-for-his-own-good friend in front of him, he grabbed Chris's shirt and leveraged himself so that he could spin Chris around and pin him up against the wall instead.

"I told you what I said you jackass!" he yelled back at Chris, who was squirming to try and get Lance's grip to loosen up on him. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You're my fucking problem," Chris snarled before kneeing Lance in the crotch. Lance immediately dropped to the floor, wincing in pain, but he didn't get a chance to get away before Chris had mounted him and began swinging at him madly. He had lost all sense of control, and imagining that it was one of his closest friends who had cost him Stephanie, he couldn't handle the thought. It was a blind anger that consumed him, and so he kept swinging on Lance, just kept hitting him and letting all of it out.

Finally, someone pulled him up and practically slammed him back against the wall. Chris winced and was about to kick this new person's ass, before he was stopped by the cold gaze in the blue eyes of Chris Benoit.

"Go ahead, try me," Benoit stated dangerously, daring Chris to try attacking him instead. Chris just scoffed, backing off away from them both.

"Screw you both," he spat out angrily, before turning and walking away from them. Benoit glared at him as he watched him leave, before turning to Lance who was struggling to sit up. He silently offered him a hand, which Lance took gratefully as Benoit helped pull him back up to his feet.

"What the hell is his problem?" Lance wheezed, leaning up against the wall as Benoit shook his head.

"He's a jackass and a coward, forget him," Benoit said bitterly. Lance took a deep breath, before rubbing his jaw where Chris had hit him more than once. He hated to give up on a friend.

But Chris wasn't leaving him a choice anymore.


	20. Walking Away

**A/N: **Couldn't resist…

I own no names I mention. Enjoy and leave me some love…

**February 16th, 2004**

Chris twirled a single rose in his fingers, watching it spin as he did so. There was a scowl on his face as he contemplated his course of action for this night. Normally, he'd confer with Lance about it, but that wasn't an option tonight. Not after the way he had flown off the handle towards him the week before. He didn't care though, because Lance had lied to him. He deserved what he got. And so there he sat, twirling a rose, and wondering.

He knew who he wanted, and he was tired of ignoring how she made him feel. Life was too short to keep lying to himself. Too much time had been wasted on that already, and it wasn't worth it to him anymore. He stopped twirling the rose, breathing deeply as a single thought ran through his mind.

He had to get Stephanie back.

Too many opportunities had passed him by, and he knew deep down, that this was no way to live. The way he felt deep inside, the feelings he was struggling to keep in check, it wasn't worth it without her. But things were complicated, and he just wanted everything to fix itself. It would've been so much easier if Trish just backed off and Stephanie came to him, but he knew that neither was going to happen.

So on that night, he was planning on doing something about it. He just wasn't sure if his plan was the best way to do it.

Frowning, he resumed twirling the rose between his thumb and middle finger as he tried thinking about what he was doing. Stephanie practically hated him, and part of him was wondering if it was even worth it. Would she even take him back at this point?

He wasn't sure, but he was going to try.

Sighing, he stood up from the chair he had been sitting on, a dull aching in his knee from the week before. It had already gotten hurt once, only to get aggravated again in his match where he had teamed with Trish. He winced for a second, before walking down the hallway, knowing that he really shouldn't have come to the show. His knee needed rest, but he figured he could handle it. He was Chris Jericho, after all. He could handle anything.

And yet, he wasn't sure if he could handle what he was about to do.

---

She had to move on, and there was only one real way to do that. But it was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever done.

Stephanie looked up at the arena for several moments, pulling her coat tighter around her when she felt a chill in the air. Or at least, she attributed it to the air as she stood there, just thinking. It seemed as though that's all she had done over the last week, was sit around and think for hours on end. She closed her eyes and breathed in, knowing that she could not back out of her decision now. It was the right decision for her, and it would make her life so much easier to just go through with it.

That would be very much easier said than done. Quitting wasn't in her nature, but she needed to do it. Looking back up at the arena, she already felt the longing in the pit of her stomach, and she hadn't even done it yet. It was going to be hard though, and she knew she would be doubting herself frequently during the night.

Seeing as how she was determined to quit the business she loved and had grown up in, it seemed reasonable.

There was a tightening feeling in her chest at the thought that she was going to leave this. She had gone through it before, but she had been forced to leave that time. Now that it was entirely her choice, it felt worse. The wrestling business was her passion, it was in her blood, and it pained her to even think that this would be the last time she would come in to work. But she was going to do what she had to do, so she could really put her best foot forward and move on in her life. This entailed not seeing him every week, and hopefully, never seeing him again.

It would hurt, of course. She expected as much, since she foolishly still longed for him. Even so, she knew that if she put miles between them, her heart would eventually forget him and she could heal. That's what she needed the most, and that came before Chris, before her feelings, and before the business.

She then slowly began the long walk to the arena, one last time.

---

He was nervous, if he was being honest with himself. Looking down at the rose in his hand as he walked back to his locker room, he felt like an asshole for what he was about to do. It was an act out of sheer desperation, but Chris Jericho had become a desperate man. The thought disgusted him, but if it would make Stephanie talk to him, then he'd take it. The ends in this case very much justified the means, even if he did feel a pang of guilt for executing this plan of his. It could very well backfire in his face, but that was an improvement over doing nothing.

Even if this improvement involved using Trish to make Stephanie jealous, at the end of the day, it was still an improvement…

Finally reaching his locker room, he pushed open the door and walked in. Christian was already there, sitting on a chair and flipping through a magazine. He looked up and raised his eyebrows when he heard the door open, and he grinned at the sight of Chris.

"Hey CJ, how's the knee?"

"It's fine," Chris said, frowning at the thought of his knee. Eric Bischoff, the ever-present thorn in his side, had put him in a match against Kane that night. He instinctively shifted his weight to his good knee as he twirled the rose in his hand again. "Hey Christian, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure," Christian said with a shrug. "Since when do you have to ask?" he said as he stood up, watching as Chris looked down at his hand. Christian followed his line of sight down, before realizing what was in his friend's hand. "Chris, what are --"

"Hold on man, before you say anything --" Chris started, but stopped when he heard knocking on the door. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he sighed loudly as he walked back to the door to swing it open. His eyes narrowed at the cameraman who was standing there, holding a video camera that was resting on his shoulder. "What the hell do you want?" Chris snapped, having neither the time nor patience to deal with an interview tonight.

"I was sent to see if you wanted to give a backstage interview about your match with Kane," the cameraman said, apparently not bothered by Chris's attitude. "If you do, I've been told to tell Eric Bischoff so that he can get an interviewer ready for you."

Chris scoffed. "Why don't you take that camera and shove it up Bischoff's ass?" he stated testily, angry that his time was indeed being wasted. The cameraman just shrugged and turned around to walk away as Chris closed the door, turning back to Christian. "Can you believe that guy? What the hell does he want me to say in my interview? How I'm looking forward to Kane kicking my ass tonight since my knee is practically shattered and I should be in a hospital instead?"

Christian shrugged. "He would've probably just asked you about Trish, since you two are quite the talk these days." Chris tilted his head as he thought about that, his mind racing. He bit his lip and frowned, falling into thought as Christian watched him curiously. "Hey CJ, you okay? I didn't scare you with that, did I?"

But Christian had barely finished his question before Chris was already back at the door, yanking it open and stepping out quickly. He looked up and down the hallways, before spotting the cameraman who had stopped to get a cup of coffee.

"Hey, you! Monkey with the camera!" Chris called out, and the cameraman looked back over at him in confusion. "Yeah, you junior, get your caffeine fix and then get your ass back over here!"

"Chris, what the hell are you doing?" Christian asked as he stood in the doorframe to their locker room, bewildered over his friend's behavior. "You just told him --"

"I know what I told him," Chris finished, turning back to Christian. "But I think this might be it, this might work, this could work…"

His voice trailed off as his imagination raced. Making Stephanie jealous was key to getting her back, because it would show him that she really did care. It was a brilliant plan, and having the cameraman there to capture the conversation he'd have with Christian, it would fool everyone. He was confident in his acting abilities, and by doing it this way, he wouldn't have to act really romantic with Trish to make Stephanie jealous. He'd just have a conversation with a great friend of his, and there would be no leading anyone on; he'd just let both Trish and Stephanie find out at the same time. Yes, it was brilliant indeed…

"Chris man, you're not even listening," Christian said, frowning as he saw the determination on his friend's face. He could tell that he was hatching a plan, it was evident in his eyes. "What the hell's up with you?"

"Nothing," Chris said quietly, before a smile started to come to his face. Tonight was going to be his night, he could feel it. "We're just going to have our chat, remember?"

"Yeah, you said you wanted to ask me something."

"As soon as the camera guy gets here, we'll talk…"

---

Eric Bischoff looked at Stephanie in confusion, blinking several times as if she'd grown a second head. He had many things to deal with that night, and one of his main workers dropping this on him was _not _what he needed that night. "Excuse me? You're what?" he asked in disbelief.

"I said I'm quitting," she repeated mechanically. "I'm just letting you know that tonight is my last night here."

"But…" he started, before groaning as he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. This was very bad timing for her to drop this on him. Austin had only stormed out of his office moments ago, demanding that he make up his mind by the end of the night on who Triple H's opponent was going to be at Wrestlemania – Shawn Michaels, or Chris Benoit. He didn't need this on top of an already stacked night. "But why?" he demanded, sighing in frustration as he looked back at her.

She ran her tongue over her teeth, not about to divulge her true reasons. He was not the man who needed to hear them. Instead, she shrugged. "I don't like it anymore, and I think that you're --"

"You know what?" he interrupted angrily. "Forget I even asked. If you don't want to work for me, then fine. I have too many things on my plate then try and get you to stay, so do whatever the hell you want. If you don't like it that much, then leave," he sneered, "and don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!"

Stephanie rolled her eyes as she turned and walked back out of his office, feeling a sense of relief as she did so. The conversation was short and to the point, but she had expected as much. She knew that Bischoff was under a lot of pressure to deliver for Wrestlemania, and so now was actually the ideal time to ask for her release. She breathed deeply, feeling a tremendous weight lift off her shoulders now that that was done with. She was halfway there to never coming back again.

There was only one thing left to do…

---

Christian couldn't help but frown as he watched the camera light on him, not liking the direction of where Chris was going with this. It reeked of desperation to him, and he hated the fact that his friend had come to such a level. But he was being put on the spot now, and although he didn't want to hear about Chris's women problems, he had no real choice since he had pretty much screwed up the friendship between Chris and Lance. Not that he regretted it, but he wished Chris had someone else to vent to about these petty and stupid problems.

"Tonight's the night with Trish," Chris said sincerely for the camera, his eyes locked onto Christian's. Christian shook his head at the claim, reading the fake tone in his friend's voice a mile away. "I'm going to just give her this rose, and tell her how I feel."

"And how do you feel?" Christian asked, trying his hardest not to sound sarcastic, even though he truly knew deep down that his friend could care less for Trish.

"I just really care…"

_Liar… _Christian thought bitterly as he remembered how distraught she was over him.

"I want us to be more than friends," Chris finished, showing Christian the rose from earlier. "So I'm going to give this to her and make things right."

Christian tried not to grimace at the sight of the rose, shaking his head as he frowned. "I don't think this is such a great idea…" he said uncomfortably, and Chris gave him a confused look.

"Really? You think so?" Chris asked curiously, and Christian felt his anger flare at the question. Of course he didn't think it was a good idea, it was a rather stupid idea in fact. He was leading Trish on, and he apparently didn't give a shit about it. This realization made Christian's stomach churn with anger towards his friend, but he kept it in check. After all, Chris was his best friend, and even if he could put a girl in front of their friendship, he, Christian, refused to do the same.

"I think so," Christian said as he nodded, forcing his annoyance and anger to subside. "You shouldn't be focusing on these things man, you have a match with Kane tonight. You need to focus on him and make sure he doesn't screw up your knee even more."

Chris nodded, slightly disappointed with Christian's advice. In the end though, it was irrelevant. His message had come across on national TV, and that's what mattered. Everyone had seen it, and he just hoped that Stephanie would react to it. He needed her to react, to give him some kind of sign that she still cared.

"Alright… I should go and get ready for that," Chris said reluctantly, not all that eager to step in the ring with the Big Red Machine. "Can you hold onto this for me?" he asked, handing Christian the rose.

"No," Christian immediately replied, shaking his head. "I can't --"

"Come on man, please, just hang onto it and after the match, I'll give it to Trish and confess my feelings," Chris said, his hand still outstretched with the rose as he wondered when it had become so easy for him to lie. The words were just tumbling out of his mouth, and if he had any kind of a brain, he would shut the hell up and just go have his match. The pressure of being on live TV combined with the need of some kind of sign from Stephanie that he still had a chance, it was making him get caught up in the moment.

Christian reluctantly reached out to take the rose from Chris, a scowl evident on his face as his anger slowly crept back up through him. He sucked at his teeth as Chris patted him on the shoulder.

"Thanks man, you're the best," Chris said cheerfully as Christian nodded, unable to answer lest he snap. He was just getting so sick and tired of all of this, and he also didn't appreciate Chris practically putting him on the spot in front of the world. Even so, he still valued their friendship… and so he said nothing as he watched Chris leave for his match, the scowl only growing deeper on his face as the cameraman left too. He was alone now with his thoughts, not sure what to do with himself.

Looking down at the rose now in his hand, he twirled it in his fingers as he raised it up for closer inspection. His scowl slowly turned into a look of intrigue, which then transformed into a smirk as he got an idea of what he could do.

There was a certain someone he really needed to see…

---

Trish found herself staring at the monitor in her dressing room, unable to tear her eyes away. She had been doing some warm-up stretches, only to be surprised by hearing Chris's voice on the TV. She had been downright shocked to see that he was actually there that night. He had told her over the previous week that the doctor had recommended he take several weeks off, and yet there he was, live and present. She had volunteered to help him over the week, but he hadn't been answering many of her calls… which only further planted the seeds of doubt in her mind, that maybe Christian was right all along.

She didn't want to be naïve, and perhaps she was making a mistake in not seeing what was going on around her. She was choosing to ignore some of the signs that Christian was probably right about this situation. She wasn't blind, and she did notice that sometimes Chris did seem to zone out and it was obvious that he wasn't thinking about her while he did so. The tension in the elevator ride a week or so prior had also been a tip-off that there was some kind of history between Chris and Stephanie that she wasn't aware of… and whatever that history was, Chris wasn't about to say a word about it.

But it didn't matter anymore. A smile started to come to her face as she heard him say that he wanted to confess his feelings towards her. She knew she hadn't been wrong to place her trust in him again, after that whole bet scandal. She had just known that things would work out between them, and now they were beginning to unfold. Her smile was now spread widely across her face as she straightened and headed over into her bathroom to make sure her makeup was nothing short of perfect – thereby missing the part where Chris offered Christian the rose he was planning on giving her later.

Somewhere else in the arena, however, someone wasn't taking the news so well. Stephanie had been busy gathering up her things that were randomly scattered all over the backstage area, before hearing a voice that she knew all too well. She wanted to keep walking and ignore the monitor that was showing him, but she couldn't. She couldn't walk away from him, and so she stopped for a few minutes to see what was going on…

Minutes passed, the segment ended, and she was still there. Staring at the commercials that were now being rolled, she couldn't move. Instead of feeling angry or bitter about this, she suddenly felt so drained. Had her eyes been able to shed any more tears for him, she would have surely broken down into tears at the sight of the man she still loved preparing to profess his love to someone else. It was a losing battle, and this was exactly why she was going to leave.

If she had had any inkling of doubt at all about her decision, Chris had single-handedly just removed it.

---

Chris knew that he was probably going to get his ass kicked by Kane, but for once, he didn't really care. He just wanted to get it over with so that he could head backstage and see how Stephanie had taken to his bit on Trish. His mind was all over the place, and try as he did to focus on Kane, it just wasn't happening for him.

It was a decision he was soon regretting when his knee gave out on him during the match.

He struggled to stand, ignoring the ref in his ear asking him if he wanted to throw the match. But Chris Jericho was a proud man, and he would never, under any circumstances, throw any kind of match. And so he forced himself to continue through his stubbornness to heed his body's warning signals.

Even so, it only lasted for a few minutes, even though those minutes felt agonizingly long to him. Finally, his broken body won over his fighting heart as his knee gave out a final time, and he knew that he couldn't go on much longer. Thankfully, the referee took one look at his pained face and the way he was clutching his knee closely to him, and he called for the bell.

"Are you okay?" the ref asked, and Chris shook his head, his knee racked in pain as he clutched it to him and closed his eyes. The referee signaled to get help as Chris tried to relax, but the ref barely gave the signal before Kane shoved him away and bent down to grab Chris by the hair. Wincing, Chris grabbed onto Kane's hand, but the Big Red Machine effortlessly pulled Chris up and threw him over the top rope. He landed hard on the floor and cried out in pain, grabbing onto his knee and now realizing that it wasn't smart to walk into this match without a plan.

When Kane was there an instant later to pick him up again, he regretted not having prepared for this match. But when he felt him being lifted and walked over to the steel post, he realized he shouldn't have even bothered showing up this night as he braced himself for the impact.

He didn't have to wait long.

Kane ruthlessly rammed his knee against the ring post, before dropping Chris to the floor. Chris bit his lip to stifle a painful scream from the pain as he rolled onto his side. "Fuck!" he hissed as he squeezed his eyes shut, gripping his knee tightly as he groaned from the pain. It was intensifying as the seconds passed, and he could feel tears stinging his eyes from it. But he'd be damned to let them show now, and so he kept his eyes firmly shut as he felt the referees tend to him.

Stephanie had been watching his match on a monitor backstage, with the purpose to tell him about her latest decision as soon as he stepped through the curtains. Her heart skipped a beat, however, when she saw that he wasn't going to be stepping anywhere anytime soon. Seeing the look of sheer pain on his face made her stomach turn in ways that it had no right to turn. She didn't want to care – in fact, she wanted the indifference that she had a right to feel at this point in time.

It was hard though when she saw the stretcher go past her, making her heart pound in her chest in anticipation.

_He'll be fine, _she thought silently to herself as she wrung her hands together. _He'll be fine… _she frowned at the thought, wondering why in the hell she was still bothering. He had caused her so much heartache, and yet she was still sending her heart out to him and hoping he'd be okay… and he didn't even deserve it.

When they wheeled him backstage, she looked away. She didn't want to see him hurt, because her first instinct was to reach out to him and make sure that he was okay. At one point in time, she had rejoiced at the sight of him on a stretcher, but that was a long time ago. The sight now was enough to break her heart, and that was one thing that Chris didn't need a stretcher to do. And so she refused to look, lest it break her resolve.

Finally, she felt the commotion leave around her, and chancing a glance, saw that he was gone. She released a deep breath and walked over to the nearest backstage worker who was busy talking to someone else.

"Hi, um, excuse me," she said, interrupting their conversation and making them both look at her. "Would you happen to know where they're taking Chris Jericho?"

"I think they're gonna take him to the hospital that's a few miles north from here," the worker replied politely, and Stephanie gave him a grateful smile.

"Thanks," she answered, turning and walking away from him as she tried thinking of what she was going to do now. She knew, deep down she knew, that she had to go see him. Just one last time, she had to set her eyes on him and take him in, because she didn't know when she'd ever see him again after this night. She needed closure in her life, and that included walking away from the business… and everyone in it.

And so she decided to go to him, to see him one last time… if only to say goodbye. She nodded slowly, accepting her own decision, even if she wasn't in a rush to leave and run after him. No, she wanted to savor being at the arena. She had left it so many times, so many times had they said she couldn't come back, and yet her tenacity had somehow found a way to come back. To walk away, willingly walk away, it was hard, harder than she had imagined it would be. She felt a rising lump in her throat as she surveyed the backstage area, wondering what was strong enough to make her walk away.

But she knew.

And it was about time he knew too.

---

Chris frowned and looked down at his knee that was bandaged up and propped up with some hospital pillows, and he was pleased that the pain had substantially died down for the most part. Sighing, he leaned back and wondered how long he'd be out. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long, since Wrestlemania was right around the corner. He hadn't missed a Wrestlemania yet, and he refused to start now. Looking around, he couldn't help but notice that no one seemed in a huge rush to come see him. Not knowing what else to do, he leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes, figuring he could take a quick nap and catch up on some much-needed rest, at least until the doctors cleared him to leave.

Some time later, the door opened a crack. Stephanie peered in, hoping that it was his room. She felt that rising lump in her throat at the sight of him appearing to be asleep. Slowly and quietly, she pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped inside, closing the door behind her and leaning against it for a moment. She took a deep breath, one that was full of regret and something else she couldn't quite place. It shouldn't have been like this, she shouldn't have been bracing herself to have this conversation…

Of course, she could easily have scribbled him a note bidding him a nice life, and left it near him so that he'd find it when he woke up. That would be easy, but also cowardly. She left the cowardice up to him, and knew that she wouldn't go that route. And so she decided to wait until he woke up so that she could say her piece, and that would be that.

And she was willing to wait as long as it took.

---

"Oh my God, do you think he's okay?" Trish asked worriedly, and Christian rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, he's fine, I'm sure he's fine," Christian said, trying to sound concerned for his friend, but it wasn't coming to him. It was hard for him to feel concerned when it was Chris's own doing that had led to Kane going to work on his knee. If he was only more focused on his matches, then none of this would have happened.

"I have to go see him," Trish stated, concern etched in her features. "I have to see him, that match was horrible…"

"Hey, it's okay," Christian said reassuringly, somehow feeling inclined to put her more at ease. "How about we go visit him together?"

Trish gave him an uneasy smile, not sure she really wanted to be alone with Christian for an entire ride to the hospital. Her discomfort was weighing in against her concern for Chris, of which the latter was more of a priority to her. This was the man she loved, after all, and so she nodded reluctantly. "Okay, that sounds cool I guess," she said with a strained smile.

"Great," Christian said with a smirk. "Oh, and before I forget…"

"What is it?" Trish asked curiously, not really wanting to waste more time in going to Chris. She was picturing him by himself and in pain, and that in turn pained her. She gave Christian an impatient look, but that look was very quickly replaced by one of surprise when he brought his hand around his back – a hand with a rose.

"I got this for you," Christian lied, holding out the rose Chris had intended to give her so Trish could take it. He didn't feel bad about lying though, because at the end of the day, that's all Chris had been doing to Trish for the past few months. He'd been doing nothing other than feeding her lies, and she deserved a nice gesture that was _genuine _for a change.

Trish hesitantly reached out and took the rose, giving him a slightly more natural smile, even if it was tinted with confusion. "What's this for?" she asked, not ready to fully trust Christian and what seemed to be his change of heart in regards to her.

"Just thought it'd be nice," he said with a shrug.

"We should really go see Chris," Trish said quickly, not wanting to waste another minute wondering what Christian was up to. Every minute wasted was a minute that she couldn't be with Chris, and he had something important to say to her. Not only that, but he was hurt, and she wanted to be there for him.

"Okay, let's go," Christian said as he motioned for her to walk with him. She did, choosing to walk next to him, but then feeling awkward as he placed his hand on her lower back casually. Looking over her shoulder at his hand, she looked up and gave him a suspicious look, but he just gave her that smile of his as he led her towards the parking lot. She wanted to ask him more about Chris, but she resisted the urge, telling herself that she'd soon see the man himself.

Anything she wanted and needed to know could wait until then.

---

Chris slowly awoke, rubbing his eyes at the bright light that greeted him. It took only a moment for him to remember where he was and why he was there, and when he did, he sighed. He was going to be quite sore the next day, he knew that much already. Hell, he'd probably need crutches, he thought sleepily, not knowing where this fatigue was coming from. As soon as he could leave, he knew he'd head back to his hotel and crash for the night. He groaned inwardly at the thought of having to tell Bischoff that he needed a week or two off to recover, knowing the Raw GM would give him hell for missing time.

He yawned and ran a hand over his face, before instinctively looking around the room. He saw her standing there, but for some reason that didn't register in his brain as he turned to look at his bandaged knee again, as if it had somehow improved in his twenty minute nap.

And then, he did a double take, the haze from his nap leaving instantaneously when he looked back to see her there. He rubbed his eyes a bit and looked again, and he knew it was really her. She was leaning her shoulder against the wall, her back to him as she looked out a window in his room, not looking back at him even though he was sure she had heard him move around. He leaned back against his pillows, a small smile coming to his face just at the fact that she was there. She was _there, _with him, after everything. He let out a breath of relief, thankful that his plan had worked.

"You came," he said quietly, and she closed her eyes at his voice. She was still coming to terms with the decision she had made, but it was hard. It was hard to walk away from the only loves of her life, and the sound of his voice for a second almost made her change her mind.

But it was too late for that now…

"I did," she answered in a tone that matched his. She heard him shifting around behind her, heard the bed creaking under his weight as he moved around. A moment later, and there was silence in the room, before she heard him sigh.

"I'm glad you came, for what it's worth," he stated quietly, sitting up now on the bed. He waited for her to say something, but she didn't even turn to look at him. That made something inside of him ache as he leaned back a little, so that his back was leaning back against the pillows he'd propped up. He looked at her for another moment, taking in the smooth curls of her hair, before sighing again. "Stephanie, will you please look at me?"

"I don't really want to," she said firmly, knowing that seeing him hurt would make her sympathize. Sympathy wasn't going to do her any favors tonight.

"You can't say that you're here and you're not even concerned about me," he said in a low tone, and she didn't respond. "Steph, please…"

"I'm not," she said with disinterest, even though it was a lie. He picked up on it immediately, the thought somehow comforting to him.

"Then why are you here?" he challenged, hoping to get her to admit that she was concerned about him. Even if it was just a little bit, he'd take it in a heartbeat.

She ran her tongue over her lip, feeling the lump rising in her throat. Slowly, she pushed away from the wall and turned to face him, her arms folded over in front of her. He gave her a crooked smile, but instead of it warming her heart, it made her feel like crying. It was then that she realized that it wasn't the business that was killing her to leave – it was him. It had always been him.

But it could never be him…

"I came to say goodbye," she said in a voice that hardly sounded like hers. Her heart felt like it was being broken all over again as she watched the smile slowly disappear from his face. It was replaced by a look of hurt and concern as his piercing blue eyes seemed to bore right into hers.

"What?" he asked dumbly, not sure he had heard correctly. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it says, Chris," she said in a stronger voice, knowing she couldn't give in to him. "I'm leaving."

"Leaving what?" he asked, even though he knew the answer. But he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to hear it either, but he needed to know what she meant. He needed her to say something else, to kill this rising sickness in his stomach at the thought that she was leaving the company…

"Everything," she answered, holding his eyes with her own. "I quit today, so I'm done… I just wanted to say goodbye."

There were few occasions in his life where Chris Jericho had been rendered speechless. This was one of them, and for a few seconds, he felt like he couldn't breathe as he let her words sink in. Where in the hell was this even coming from? he wondered, trying hard to formulate words as she stared at him. He just managed to shake his head, the words there at the tip of his tongue, and yet nothing coming out. Stephanie just nodded at his lack of response as she looked away.

"So yeah," she said with another slight nod. "That's all I really have to say…"

"But…" he finally managed to stutter out. "But… why?"

"What do you mean _why_?" she snapped, her anger and hurt suddenly very apparent inside of her as she glared at him. "Do you really need to ask why?"

"Yeah," he answered, finally regaining his speaking capabilities. "Steph, how can you just quit? How the hell can you just walk away? Huh?" he demanded, his voice starting to rise. "How can you walk away from everything?"

"How can I walk away from you, you mean," she stated in a cold tone, and he took a deep breath at that, but didn't refute it. "You have some fucking nerve, Chris," she stated, her voice low and trembling. "Might I remind you of a time when you walked away from Smackdown, when you walked away from me… have we forgotten this, Chris?"

"Steph…" he said with a sigh. "Can we not go back there?"

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back for Stephanie.

"Excuse me?" she demanded, her voice rising and her tone becoming dangerous. "No, Chris, I think we need to fucking go back there!"

"But why?" he said, really not up for a trip down memory lane.

"Don't you fucking see anything, Chris?!" she yelled, reaching her breaking point with him. "Don't you understand anything that you've fucking put me through over these last two years!"

He looked at her in confusion as her face grew redder from frustration, and she again felt like crying at the realization that he really didn't know. She refused to cry though, using the emotion to fuel her anger towards him.

"Stephanie, I don't think --"

"You _used _me! You fucking used me, Chris! You can't even deny it!" she yelled angrily, and Chris winced at her loud voice. "You jumped to Raw, you left _me… you _left _me,_" she emphasized, her tone crisp even though she was wondering how she was maintaining her composure. "And then, and then you go to Raw of all places, you go to work for the man that I hate more than anyone… how the hell do you think that made me feel!"

"No," he said, shaking his head, a pained expression on his face. "I didn't…"

"Don't you fucking get it!" she yelled at him. "God, I have never met _anyone _as stubborn, or more of a jackass than you! Don't you see it? God, how can you not see that I love you, Chris," she said as her voice finally cracked on his name, and she lifted one hand up to cover her eyes, missing the look on his face as she did.

"You… what?" he asked dumbly, feeling like such a fool as he sat there. Here he had assumed, he had always assumed that she didn't care, so hearing this now… it was something he just had to hear again.

"I love you! And I fucking hate it!" she yelled, her voice shaky as tears escaped her eyes when she looked back at him. She didn't notice, but he did, and it almost made him break down on the spot. "You've used me, you've insulted me, you've treated me like nothing but shit for the past two years! You left me that night after that Triple Threat Match, when I needed you the most, you fucking left my show and I didn't see you again until Survivor Series…" her voice trailed at the memory, but she couldn't stop the tears now as she closed her eyes and covered them again with one hand.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" he started, trying to keep his own voice strong, even though he felt like a jackass as he sat there and watched her cry. The sight pained him, made him hurt in a profound way to know that not only could he do nothing to remove her pain, but that he was the sole source of her pain. That thought made his chest feel tight, and he swallowed hard.

"Well, I'm glad that you're sorry," she responded bitterly. "I'm fucking glad Chris, but you weren't all that sorry these past few months when you practically forced me to watch you prance around with Trish! You weren't that sorry then, now where you?" she demanded, looking at him with tears shining in her eyes, not able to hold anything back at this point. "You weren't that sorry when you called me worthless, or when you called me a bitch, where were the apologies then? Huh? Where were they, Chris?"

He had his eyes covered at this point in what she could only assume was shame, and she took a deep breath to control her emotions – an impossible feat, but she was a McMahon. She had to try.

"I'm done with you," she said dryly. "I just… I can't… you don't know how much…" she stopped and took a deep breath, before looking back at him. "I can't do it anymore with you… I don't ever want to see you again," she finished, noting how she didn't get a reaction from him.

But inside, that last statement was enough for her to break what was left of his heart. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, but he knew now that he deserved it. How, how was it possible for him to be so blind for such a long period of time? How could he have let it get this far?

"You meant the world to me," she said, her voice weak and shaky still, causing the tears to streak down his face as he lowered his head more so she wouldn't see. "But I can't let you keep breaking me… you don't know what you do to me, Chris," she stated, the sadness in her voice hanging in the air, since he didn't have the words to respond to any of her accusations. They couldn't be accusations if they were true, and that drove the knife deeper into his chest. "I wish we'd never gotten involved in the first place…"

"God," he said, his voice pained. "Please, don't say that…"

"Why the hell not?" she demanded, laughing bitterly. "It's the fucking truth, so why not," she added, noting how he winced at the words, before looking back up at her. Her breath caught at the sight of the tears swimming in his clouded blue eyes, and for a moment, she almost regretted her decision.

"Because I love you too," he admitted, and she flinched at the words.

"No, you don't," she said in a soft voice, sounding for all the world like a defeated woman. "You don't do these things to someone you love, Chris…"

"I'm so sorry Stephanie," he said quietly, his voice strained. "I never meant to --"

"Stop," she said weakly. "I came here to say goodbye, Chris."

"No, Steph, please," he pleaded, his own voice cracking at this point. "Please, stay, just listen to me --"

"I can't," she said as she shook her head, feeling fresh tears burning her eyes once again. God, how many tears did she have to cry for him? "I can't stay, I told you what I came here to do… Chris, I know that deep down, you're a good person, and I love that person inside of you… but I just can't keep going like this," she finished, her voice barely a whisper. "I can't take anymore of this, and so I'm leaving. I already quit, so you can't change my mind," she finally said, before forcing herself to move to the door.

"Don't walk away, Stephanie," he said quietly, struggling to maintain his composure, even though it was a losing battle at this point. He cursed his knee, wishing that it was an arm or some other injury that he had so that he could go after her. "Please, don't walk away…" he said as his voice trailed, feeling like his heart was stopped as he watched her stop. He couldn't let her go, and yet he couldn't stop her if that's what she wanted…

She lifted her chin up high, hearing the desperation in his voice and almost giving in. Closing her eyes momentarily, she reached up and brushed the tears from her face, opening the door to leave as she gave him one last message over her shoulder.

"You walked away first."


	21. Piece by Piece

**Don't ask why I'm updating this again, cause I don't even know lol…**

**I own nothing.**

**---**

**February 23rd, 2004**

"I already told you, I'll be fine," Chris sighed into the phone. "I've gotten hurt before, seriously, I'm not made out of glass."

"I just want to make sure you're okay," Trish answered on the other line. "I just feel bad that you're going to be alone today, your knee is still --"

"Trish," he started, rubbing his eyes. "You really don't need to keep checking up on me, I already told you that I can handle it."

"I know you can," Trish said, sighing on her end. "You've just been really distant this last week, ever since the night at the hospital…"

"That was just a bad night," he said in a tired tone, not wanting to get into it. She didn't need to know anything more than that anyways. "My knee was killing me that night, that's all."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, that's it," he said, leaning back against the leather sofa in his house and closing his eyes. "It was just my knee," he added again, as if explaining the question that was on her mind.

"Alright, if you say so, Chris," she sighed, and he heard the disbelief in her voice.

"Yeah," he answered, not knowing what else to say.

"Alright then, you just rest and take it easy, okay?" she said in a kind voice, one which had he actually taken time to process would've probably made his guilt shoot right through him. Instead, wondered idly why he even bothered to answer.

"Yeah, okay," he mumbled absent-mindedly, rubbing at his eyes again.

"Alright," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. She mistook his disinterest as him being upset about having to stay at home another week, and it made her wish she was with him instead of at the show. "If you need anything, just call, okay?"

"Will do," he said, wondering when this call would end.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later then."

"Alright, bye Trish," he said, before hanging up his cell phone. He realized that it was rude of him not to even let her say goodbye in return, but he had had enough of that to last him a lifetime from Stephanie. Tossing his phone onto the coffee table in front of him, he stretched out on the sofa, folding his arms behind his head as he gazed at the ceiling.

He sighed at the thought of the previous week. He wasn't the kind to let these things get to him so much, and he was still surprised at the guilt he was feeling over the things he had done. If it had been anyone else accusing him of such things, he probably would've laughed and said they were over exaggerating. As it was though, the last thing he was capable of doing while Stephanie was yelling at him was laugh. Hell, he was thankful he was even able to breathe, now that he remembered it…

"_You walked away first," she said, and then just like that, she was gone._

_He didn't know how long he stared at the door long after she had walked through it. He felt numb as her words washed over him, his body refusing to let them sink in. He should've said something, anything to get her to stay. _

_But she wasn't going to stay, and it was his fault. The thought made something inside of him twist and ache, and he wondered if this was how it felt to have a broken heart as he thought of how foolish he had been. She was right, after all. He _had_ walked away first. He had walked away so many times from her, and now, it was all coming back to him._

_Slowly, he shifted his weight gingerly so as not to hurt his knee, before he lay back down. He could feel his cheeks stained with tears, but he didn't bother wiping them away, instead closing his eyes with the realization that he was the world's biggest idiot for not having read the signs sooner._

_Now it was too late, and she wasn't coming back._

_That was the thought that somehow broke him. The numbness mercilessly left him in a matter of seconds, and he was suddenly overcome with pain. His eyes teared up, and he couldn't stifle the choked sob that escaped him at the thought that he had inflicted this pain on himself. That only made fresh tears burn his eyes even more as he covered his eyes with his forearm, not wanting to believe that the thought of Stephanie leaving was breaking him apart on the inside._

_How could he not have seen that she loved him all along?_

_He felt someone touch his arm, and he struggled to regain control of his breathing, the touch only mildly comforting him. He lifted his arm in the vain hope that she had come back to him, but instead found himself looking into Trish's concerned eyes. He quickly wiped at his eyes impatiently, trying to brush away his tears and feeling stupid for having her walk in on him while he was crying._

"_Chris, what's the matter? Do you hurt?" she asked gently as she brushed his hair back. He turned his head away from her, covering his eyes with one hand and already feeling more tears coming. He had tried to hide it for so long, for two years he had tried to stifle his pain, but he couldn't do it anymore. _

"_Yeah, my knee," he somehow managed to choke out, feeling her put a hand on his stomach and running her other hand through his hair._

"_You want me to call someone?" she asked._

_Stephanie, he wanted to say. Call Stephanie…_

"_No," he said painfully, wishing he could pull away from Trish, but he didn't have it in him anymore. He was just thankful that Stephanie had left when she did, so she wouldn't see him like this._

"_You'll be okay," Trish said, trying to reassure him. She thought he was hurting over his knee, and he wished that he was. He'd take a shattered knee over a shattered heart, gladly._

"_It just hurts…"_

Things were changing now. The thought of never seeing her again thankfully didn't bring anymore tears to his eyes, which was good, because he felt like his pride was dying piece by piece whenever she rendered him to tears. The thought also didn't make him feel like he couldn't breathe anymore, and it didn't bring him the pain he had grown so accustomed to over the last two years. It didn't make him feel numb, like he couldn't feel, because Lord knew he could still feel pain. To him, the thought of never seeing Stephanie McMahon now made him feel something worse than all of that.

It made him feel empty inside.

He laid there on the sofa, feeling like he didn't have the strength to move as he continued staring at the ceiling. She had become so etched into his life, so intertwined with his daily thoughts and emotions that to rid her from his system was like losing a piece of himself. What did he have left if she wasn't there? He had Trish, sure, but he could never fully give himself to her no matter how hard he tried. Hell, he could barely stand to talk to her on the phone for more than five minutes.

Could he really live like this for the rest of his life? The thought wasn't all that appealing. It was as if he was asking himself if he wanted to have a TLC match every night for the rest of his career. He'd handle it fine in the beginning, but eventually, it would wear him down until he was a shell of a man. The fact that any woman could make him feel this way was hard for his pride to accept, but Stephanie had rammed that truth down his throat, and she hadn't even tried.

But she had also said she loved him.

_Does she still? _

He frowned as the question ran through his mind instinctively, and he immediately recognized it as the question he asked her the night he left Smackdown. God, it was the exact same question he had asked back then, before having to watch her leave him there alone in the parking lot. And what the hell had he done then? Not a damn thing.

He slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position, before gingerly moving his injured knee over the side of the sofa. Grabbing his crutches that were laying haphazardly on the floor, he lifted himself up so he was standing. His mind was made up.

This time, he'd be damned to let her walk away again.

---

Trish had been about to say bye to Chris when she was met unceremoniously with a dial tone. She frowned and looked at her cell phone, wondering if it had dropped the call. Sighing, she ran a hand through her long blonde hair, wondering what was up with him and why he was being so distant. Didn't he see that she loved him and wanted to help him?

"Well, someone sure looks disappointed," she heard a sarcastic voice say. Looking up, she scowled at the sight of Christian sauntering into her locker room. He just met her with a smirk. "Geez, by the way you were looking at me, you'd think I was the one that just hung up on you."

"No one just hung up on me," she responded in an equally sarcastic tone as she rolled her eyes. He snickered and folded his arms over his chest.

"You were talking to Chris, weren't you?" he demanded, though it sounded more like a statement than a question. She looked at him with disgust, hating the knowing look in his eyes as he watched her.

"So what if I was? What's it to you?" she shot back, and he raised his hands in concern.

"Whoa, someone needs to switch to decaf, I was just asking a question," he said with an innocent shrug. "I don't know if you've heard or not, but Bischoff just booked me and you in a match."

"Excuse me?" she asked, her eyes widening. "You do mean in a tag team match right? As if, me and you teaming to take on two other people, right?"

"I wish, but no, he booked me to face you tonight," he said, somewhat regretfully. He frowned when he saw her cover her face with her hands and groan into them. "Hey, relax Trish, this is me we're talking about." She lowered her hands and gazed at him, half in confusion and half in disgust as he stepped closer to her. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he leaned down a little so he was making direct eye contact with her. "Trust me in this, okay? The match will be fine, and I'll take care of it. What _you _need to do though is back up off of Chris…"

She pulled away from him at those words, glaring at him. "Don't come in here telling me what to do," she warned, and he rolled his eyes.

"Trish, I'm trying to help you, why can't you see that?" he asked. "Why can't you just get it through your head that Chris doesn't give a shit about you?"

"Because he does," she shot back. "He does care, I know he does."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really, I heard the things he said last week," she said matter-of-factly, raising her chin in self-affirmation. "You heard it too, he said it right to you."

"What about what happened at the hospital that night?" he asked, and she frowned at the memory of the state Chris had been in when they had walked into his room later that night.

"His knee was hurting," she said with a shrug, and he snorted loudly at that.

"Yeah, you just keep on believing that, Trish. Keep on believing that Chris has an entire notebook devoted to Stephanie, and definitely keep believing that last week was just a result from an injured knee. Give me a fucking break…"

"You've gotten injured before, don't tell me you've never hurt like that," she said defensively, and he rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what it's going to take for you to wake the hell up, but if you can't see for yourself that he's just using you to get closer to Stephanie, then I'm going to make you see it tonight," he warned, and before she could think of a response, he had already turned and walked out the door. Sighing, she went over to the door and locked it, before turning and leaning her back against it.

Last week was the first week she had ever seen Chris in tears, and the sight had almost single-handedly broken her heart. She knew he was in pain, there was no way any man could fake those tears that he was crying that night. She just hoped he would heal and come back soon. She hated how distant he was being, but she didn't want to press him. She understood him.

She believed him.

---

"What do you _mean _you quit?" Shane asked in disbelief, looking at Stephanie over the cup of hot chocolate she had just served him. "Is this some kind of joke? It has to be a joke, right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" she responded snidely as she sat across from him at the table, holding her own cup of hot chocolate. She would have preferred coffee, but she didn't need to be up late. She had no reason to do that anymore.

"You can't quit," he said firmly. "You're a McMahon, we're not quitters."

She snickered at that, gazing down into her cup as she shook her head sadly. "You'd be surprised," she said in a soft voice.

"Did something happen?" he pressed, wanting to get to the bottom of this as he stared at his sister intently. There was something so much more sedate about her tonight, and he had picked up on it as soon as he had walked through her door. He had been trying to figure out what was going on, and then she had dropped this bomb on him.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she said, her voice lacking emotion as she trailed one finger around the rim of her mug. But to Shane, this all but confirmed his suspicions.

"Don't tell me it doesn't matter, Stephanie," he stated firmly.

"I'm telling you that it doesn't matter," she responded, matching his tone. "Just respect my decision, Shane, just trust me. It was time to walk away."

He frowned, continuing to stare at her as she looked down at her cup of hot chocolate, avoiding his gaze. He watched her bite her lip, both hands on her mug as she pulled it closer to her. All of a sudden, he felt like he was staring at his seventeen-year-old sister again, recognizing the look in her eyes. It was the look that had appeared the night she had found out that her boyfriend, her handsome boyfriend that she was so madly in love with, he had only asked her out because of her status and her money. She had bounced back from that and had become a stronger person because of it, but he would never forget the night she had found out. He had been there and had seen her cry her heart out over it, hugging her close to him while she did so. He had made a vow that night never to let any asshole hurt his little sister again.

And yet, he had failed that vow when he let her get involved with Hunter. He had been forced to relive that night all over again when Hunter had humiliated and left Stephanie. The pain had returned to her eyes that night, and he had once again been forced to watch his little sister get her heart broken again.

And now it was happening again right before his eyes. He recognized the pain evident in her face, and he nodded slowly as he realized why she had walked away.

He had broken his vow to her for the last time.

"Who was it this time?" he asked, trying to sound neutral, but the anger was slowly creeping into his voice.

She slowly raised her mug to her lips with both hands, taking a sip as she avoided her brother's gaze. She closed her eyes and relished the warm sensation the hot chocolate gave her, before sighing and looking back up at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said tiredly.

"Tell me who he is," Shane demanded, grabbing onto his own mug. He held it tightly in both of his hands, ignoring that it was still hot. "I'll kick his ass, I swear I will."

"It doesn't matter anymore," she repeated quietly, and he could hear the pain in her voice a mile away.

"When my little sister is quitting the business she loves, you bet your ass it matters," he said dangerously, not hiding his anger at whoever this new asshole in his sister's life was. As soon as she gave him a name, there would be hell for someone to pay, courtesy of Shane McMahon. "Who was it?" he pressed again, and she sighed.

"Shane…" she said in a warning tone.

"Tell me, Stephanie," he insisted. "I want to know who the hell could drive you out of this business, I need to know whose ass I need to kick. I need to know, sis," he said in a kinder voice. "You're my sister, and I hate that someone's driving you away from what you love. This business is ours, Steph, you can't just walk away from it. Tell me who he is."

She once again went back to letting her index finger trail the rim of her mug, looking back down. He waited patiently, deep down wondering what the hell this guy had done to her to make her like this. She seemed emotionally drained, and that made him want to kick this guy's ass even more. Finally though, he heard her speak up.

"It's Chris…"

---

Trish hesitantly climbed into the ring, deep down wishing that Chris had come to the show. She knew she was being unreasonable and that he needed to rest his knee, but she couldn't help feel nervous going into a match against Christian of all people. When Chris was around, Christian was somewhat tolerable. Without Chris there to keep him in check, however, she was weary around him at best. She just hoped he would really lie down for her, so they could end the match quickly.

It was little wonder then that she was relieved when he laid down in front of her in the ring, beckoning for her to pin him. She cracked a small smile as she covered him, hearing the referee begin the count.

He only got to two before Christian kicked out.

Trish immediately stood up, her temper flaring. "What the hell was that?" she yelled at him as he got up, smirking at her.

"Nothing, I made a mistake," he said with an easy shrug. "I'm sorry, it was just instinct. So just relax, we'll do it again, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, distrust in her eyes as she watched him briefly turn away from her. She could trust him for just a few minutes, right?

He answered her silent question when he turned back to her and viciously clotheslined her. Before she knew it, she was hitting the mat, gasping from the pain from Christian's blow. She barely had time to react to what he was doing before he locked her in a familiar submission hold. It only took a second to realize that he had her in the Walls of Jericho.

She immediately tapped out, screaming as the pain shot up her spine. She heard the bell ring, but he still had the hold on her. She felt so stupid in that one instant for trusting him, and once again wished nothing more than for Chris to miraculously appear and somehow make things right.

Finally, the stress was taken off her back as he let her go. She writhed in pain, feeling referees surrounding her and offering her help. All the while they tended to her, she wondered how Christian could be such a two-faced bastard. How could he pretend to care and then do this to her?

The next few minutes went by slowly for Trish, as the referees helped her climb out of the ring and walk back up the ramp. A small, strained smile came to her face when she heard cheers and applause from the crowd, and she appreciated the support. Now more than ever, she wished that Chris could have been there. She couldn't hold it against him, but she could sure as hell wish.

As soon as she limped backstage with the help of the referees, she was greeted by the sight of Christian standing nearby. His arms were folded over his chest and that maddening smirk was on his face, looking almost proud at the way she could barely walk. She shot him a glare as she grit her teeth in pain, before slowly heading towards the trainer's room. Wait until she told Chris, he would be so pissed. Then Christian would definitely get his.

Moments later, she was lying on her side in the trainer's room, a heating pad pressed up against her back. She grimaced in pain, and looked up a little when the door swung open. She groaned loudly at the sight of Christian sauntering in.

"Get the hell out," she snarled, and he snickered.

"Look, don't get all bent out of shape," he chuckled, earning a death glare from Trish at the pun.

"Wait until I tell Chris," she said bitterly, and he laughed.

"Like I'm supposed to be scared of what he'd do to me," he said in amusement.

"He's gonna kick your ass," she shot back, and his grin disappeared at those words. He stepped towards her slowly, making her grow impossibly tense.

"Don't you dare put your hands on me again, you'll regret it," she stated venomously, and he scowled at her words.

"Look Trish, I didn't want to do that to you out there, but someone has to make you see the truth. He doesn't care about you, why the hell can't you see that?"

"He does care!" she yelled at him, wincing in pain as she did so.

"Then where the hell is he!" he yelled back, growing incredibly frustrated with her. "Where is he, Trish? Oh, that's right, he's not here, how could I have forgotten?" he finished sarcastically.

"His knee is hurt!" she snapped, and he snorted at her words.

"Get it through your damn head Trish, Chris doesn't give a shit about you, because he's head over heels for someone who isn't even in your league," he stated calmly, infuriating Trish.

"So this was your master plan to get me to see that?!" she screamed back at him. "Maybe I don't want to hear it!"

"You know what? You don't have to hear it, but it's the damn truth. I'm sorry that I had to resort to this to prove my point to you, but when you realize that I'm right, you can come to me," he said with a smirk.

"Like I would want to do anything with you," she shot back, and he just shrugged.

"Has he even called to see how you are? Because my phone isn't ringing with threatening messages for putting my hands on you, let me tell you."

"Get out!" she cried, half in frustration and half in pain. He snickered and turned towards the door, granting her wish, but not before leaving her something to stew over.

"I will, but don't ever say I never told you so."

---

Chris slowly stepped out into the rain, leaning on his crutches as he gazed up at the large house in front of him. It was a nice and spacious house, nothing extravagant like he had expected from the Princess. He had been here once before, but it was just once when Stephanie had made him drive her back so she could get another brand of a purse. It had matched her outfit for the day and had annoyed him to high end, but it was one of her quirks that he had loved while they were business partners.

He heard the taxi pull away behind him, leaving him standing there in the street by himself. He stood there for a few minutes, the loose strands of hair in his face getting matted to his forehead from the rain, and yet he made no effort to move. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he remembered why he had come. His impulsive nature had kicked in and kicked in viciously, prompting him to book himself the first flight to Connecticut.

And so there he was. There was no turning back now, not like there had been in the past. He was not going to leave until she heard everything he had to say. Slowly opening his eyes, he silently began the walk up the driveway, crutches and all, the butterflies fluttering in his stomach at the thought of just laying his eyes on her again. The feeling didn't last though before an enormous guilt overcame him, but it wasn't going to stop him on this night.

Finally standing in front of her door, he reached up and rang the doorbell. His heart pounded a little faster in his chest when he saw the light to what was the living room turn on. The sounds of locks turning almost made him lose his cool, but he couldn't afford to do that. He had done that far too many times, and he was tired of running.

The door finally swung open, and he was mildly surprised to see that it was Shane at the door, gazing at him curiously. He offered Shane a weak smile.

"Hey man… is your sister around by any chance?" Chris asked as Shane pulled the screen door open. For a second, Chris thought that Shane was going to invite him in, since there was a chill in the air and he was still dripping wet from the rain.

Instead, he barely had time to react before Shane struck him hard in the face. The force of the shot knocked Chris down hard on the concrete pavement leading up to the front door. He winced in pain as he fell onto one of his crutches, hurting his knee in the process. Added to that was the throbbing pain in his nose. Pushing himself up so he was more or less sitting up, he grimaced and rubbed his knee as best he could while wearing his knee brace under his jeans, trying to keeping his temper in check.

"Stay away from my sister Jericho!" Shane yelled as he glared down at him. Chris looked down and raised a hand to his nose, before looking down at it and seeing that there was blood on his hand. "I know what you've done, and I am not going to let you hurt my sister again, you got me!"

Impatiently wiping at his nose with his forearm, Chris got up to one knee, careful with his injured knee and not to aggravate it further. Slowly and with the help of his crutches, he somehow managed to get back to his feet, finally looking up at Shane. He could see nothing but fury in Shane's eyes, and he nodded slowly.

"I deserved that shot," he said calmly, his eyes locked with Shane's. "But this has nothing to do with you. I want to talk to your sister, and I'm not leaving until I talk to her."

"Oh really?" Shane said in a dangerous tone.

"Yeah, really," Chris responded in an equally dangerous tone. "I need to talk to her, and you're not going to stop me," he warned. "You can take tons of shots, Shane, but I can take anything you can dish out in ten-fold."

Shane sucked at his teeth angrily, and took a few steps back into the house. When he re-emerged, he was holding a baseball bat in his hand. Chris looked down at it, and he couldn't help but snicker at the sight of it. He recognized the bat, as well he should have, since he was the one who had given it to Stephanie. While they were business partners, he had bought her her own baseball bat so that she could fend for herself if he was never around. It somehow put him just a little more at ease to see that she had never thrown it away after all this time.

Shane clenched the bat tightly in both of his hands, glaring at Chris. "I'm only going to warn you once, Jericho," he said calmly. "You might be tough, but you're on crutches, and I've got more than an equalizer right here. Walk away, and nothing will happen to you. Stick around though, and I'll take no responsibility for what I do to you."

Chris used his crutches to take a step closer to Shane, ignoring how cold he was getting from the rain, along with the throbbing pains in both his nose and his knee. There was some hair clinging to his face, but he didn't even bother trying to brush it back as he stared Shane down.

"You don't intimidate me," he said in a low voice. "Like I said, I'm seeing Stephanie tonight whether you like it or not, and if you want to take a shot, then go ahead. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Shane's eyes darkened as his grip on the bat grew tighter. "Fine, then I'm going to make you leave," he stated, starting to lift the bat slowly.

"You can try," Chris responded calmly.

"Shane!" Stephanie cried out, swinging the screen door open as she grabbed her brother's arm from behind. She had just gone upstairs to return her mother's call, to come back and find her brother at the door with her bat in hand. She pulled his arm, pulling him back. "What the hell is going…" she started, before her voice trailed at the sight of who Shane had been talking to.

She couldn't help but stare at him, as if wondering if it was really him. The Chris she had grown to know over the last two years had never done something as bold as stare a bat in the face for her. Hell, the Chris she had known would have let it die and gone to be happy with Trish, who he no doubt really loved.

She looked at him standing there, leaning heavily on his crutches, his t-shirt starting to cling to him from the rain. His hair was also pulled back into a ponytail, but the rain was making his loose strands of hair cling relentlessly to his forehead. His eyes were slightly blood-shot, and his nose looked like it was bleeding… he definitely looked worse for wear, and she vaguely wondered why he wasn't home resting his knee. She wanted to say something to him, but her brain couldn't formulate words.

Meanwhile, Chris's heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. She was wearing a tank top and some looser fitting pajama pants, a bathrobe wrapped around her to keep her warm. He looked right at her, ignoring Shane who was still standing there, a small smile coming to his face despite of the situation. This was the woman he loved, and seeing her for only a few seconds was like being granted oxygen to breathe after almost drowning without her.

"Go back inside, Stephanie, I was handling this," Shane ordered, and that snapped Stephanie out of it. She blinked a few times as she frowned, before realizing that Shane was still holding the bat. She immediately reached for it, almost yanking it out of Shane's hands, which made him turn to her in surprise.

"What the hell were you going to do with this?" she demanded, glaring at her brother. "Were you planning on going to jail for assault?"

"He doesn't want to leave until he talks to you," Shane said in frustration, and Stephanie's heart skipped a beat at the words.

"I don't want to talk to him," she said, speaking directly to her brother. The act stung Chris, making him hurt as he realized his chances were dwindling right before his eyes.

"Stephanie, please," he interjected, making Shane immediately turn back and shoot him a glare.

"She said she doesn't want to talk to you, so get the hell out of here!"

"Five minutes, Stephanie, just give me five minutes," Chris pleaded, ignoring Shane and not taking his eyes off of her.

"Did you not hear what I said?" Shane growled, wanting nothing more than to kick Chris's ass right then. "Haven't you done enough to her, huh? Why don't you scram with your whore of a girlfriend, Trish?"

"Five minutes," Chris whispered, his eyes still locked on hers. She shook her head in disbelief, finally tearing her eyes away from his.

"Go inside, Shane," she said quietly, and Shane looked back at her in shock.

"Stephanie, no, I'm not going to let you talk to him," he said firmly, making her look at him angrily.

"This isn't your choice, Shane," she said snidely. Chris just stood in silence, watching them both facing off. He silently hoped Stephanie would come out on top, but he recognized the look in her eye. She wasn't about to let her brother walk all over her, and a part of him fell just a little more for her because of that.

"He's done enough," Shane told her, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Stop torturing yourself, Steph, you don't have to listen to him, so just stop."

"I can handle this," she responded, her voice matching his. "Just let me handle this, Shane," she pleaded, and he sighed deeply.

"Fine," he relented, and she gave him a grateful smile. He returned the smile, though it was definitely strained. Shooting Chris a dirty look, he brushed past Stephanie and walked back inside. As soon as the door closed behind him, she wrapped her bathrobe tighter against her body, looking down at the ground so as to avoid the sight of him.

He watched her take a few steps up the pavement, walking right past him without even another glance in his direction. Folding her arms over in front of her, she stopped so she was looking out to the street, her back to him.

"You've got five minutes," she said in a detached voice, and he took a deep breath. This was what he had been preparing for. Five minutes to regain two years, and hopefully build infinitely more. It just came down to five minutes.

He looked down at his crutches, and gathered them in one hand, letting them fall on the ground. Gingerly, he slowly limped over so that he was standing right behind her, noticing her tense as she felt him close. He looked up at the dark sky for a few seconds, closing his eyes and feeling the rain come down on him, before sighing heavily.

"I'm sorry," he said, sending chills down her spine. He looked back at her for a moment, before looking down at the ground. "It's not easy for me to apologize to anyone, but I flew up here to apologize to you because you know what? It's been two years overdue… I was wrong in a lot of things, and if I could do it over again, I never would've snapped at you that night after that triple threat match… I should've kept my promise to you, and I felt guilty that I didn't. I am so sorry, Stephanie…"

"Like that's going to fix things," she whispered, and he closed his eyes and nodded.

"I messed up, Stephanie," he whispered back. "I just came to tell you that I messed up, and I am truly, honest to God sorry for the things I've done. I'm man enough to admit when I did someone wrong, and I did you wrong, and I'm sorry," he stated, taking a small step close to her so he was right behind her. "I love you, Stephanie, I've always loved you… I loved how pissed you would get when I'd insult you back in the day, I loved how high maintenance and how much of a spoiled brat you were when we were business partners, I love you right now, out here in your robe and soaking wet. I loved you coming to Raw so I could see you every week, even if I couldn't have you. It was okay, if I could just see you. I love you so much, Stephanie…"

Stephanie was glad that she had her back to him, so he couldn't see how his words were affecting her. She closed her eyes and let the words wash over her, swallowing hard, and thanking God for the rain so that her tears that were threatening to spill over wouldn't be so obvious.

"You have a strange way of showing how you feel," she mumbled, and she heard him snicker lightly.

"That's because I'm a jackass," he said with a forced chuckle. "I'm an idiot, Stephanie, and you don't know how much that hurts me to admit. But that's just it, I'm an idiot, I do idiotic things and I say idiotic things, because you're the only one who's ever made me feel… you just make me feel like a better person, and once you get used to that feeling, you want it to last. When it doesn't… you can't go back to how you used to be. I'm different because of you… I'm a better man with you, and I'm nothing without you."

"So what do you want?" she asked, wanting to relish with the feel of him being so close to her.

"A second chance," he said in a low voice. "I'll do anything, anything to show you that I deserve a second chance. I need you, Stephanie, I love you… you can't just come to me one week, tell me you love me, and then tell me you never want to see me again. But," he started, looking back down at the ground. "If you don't want to give me that… I can accept it."

"And well, I guess you should accept that decision, shouldn't you Chris?" she responded, feeling as if his words were rekindling her pain over the last two years. "Shouldn't you go back to Trish? Isn't she waiting somewhere for you?" she asked, trying to sound indifferent, but she closed her eyes as a tear escaped her.

"She doesn't mean anything to me," he said, still staring at the ground. "There was never anything there to begin with… Stephanie, don't you get it?" he pleaded, looking up at the back of her head. "Don't you get that it's always been you and it'll always be you?"

"Chris, stop," she said weakly.

"I can't stop, Stephanie… I know I've been a jackass, but I would give up anything and everything, if you would just turn around and tell me that you'll just give me one more chance. I can't guarantee that I won't be a jackass every now and then, but I guarantee that I'll never screw it up, because I love you and I know, I know you still love me. You said I meant the world to you, but you mean everything to me," he said sincerely, deep down impressed that he was still speaking clearly and that his voice had yet to crack. There were no more tears left to cry, after all, since he had let all of that go the week before.

"You say all of this to me, and yet, I heard what you were sayingabout me, Chris," she told him, anger starting to creep into her voice. "I heard how you were using me, word is out, I'm surprised you didn't think it would get back to me."

He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "I don't know what Lance said to you, but whatever he said, it was a bunch of bullshit…"

"Interesting," she said as she drew her robe closer to her, sniffling a bit. "I'd have thought you'd defend him in this nice chat we're having."

"How could I? He told you that I was using you, he told you all these lies, I still can't believe --"

"It wasn't even him," she sighed, making him frown.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously. "Didn't you say I should watch what I tell my friends? Isn't he one of my… or well, wasn't he one of my friends?"

"Your five minutes are up, Chris," she said quietly, turning and slowly walking back up the pavement to her front door. Chris sucked up the pain in his knee and trailed right behind her.

"Wait, what do you mean by it wasn't him?" he asked, not knowing what to make of that. He winced at the pain in his knee as he walked without his crutches, but he didn't care at that point in time. He could've been in a wheelchair and he'd still be right behind Stephanie at this point in time. "Stephanie, what's that supposed to mean?"

"What the hell do you want me to say, Chris? Do you want me to repeat what Christian said to me?" she shot back in frustration, needing distance from him.

"Excuse me?" he asked, grabbing her arm as soon as she said Christian's name. "Christian said something to you?" She pulled free from him, wanting to just get away from him so she could truly process what he had said to her on this night.

"Yeah, he said that according to you, I'm a cheap and easy lay," she stated as she gave a bitter laugh. "I guess you forgot that in your list of apologies, huh?"

She was met with silence, and she nodded sadly at that. She knew it was true, and so she just headed towards her front door. Part of her was hoping that he would stop her and shoot down that last bit of doubt that was lingering in her mind, but he didn't. She entered and closed the door behind her, before leaning back against it as the tears came to her eyes.

Meanwhile, Chris was standing in stunned silence, his mind back during a time when Christian had told him that Stephanie had been seen making out with Bischoff. He scowled deeply at the memory, and as the evidence began to mentally pile up against Christian, his field of vision began gaining a tint of red.

Slowly walking over to his crutches, he bent over and picked them up, his hands shaking from his anger as he did so. He was so pissed at this point in time, feeling so betrayed by someone who he had considered practically a brother, that he was almost beside himself.

Pulling out his cell phone, he tried dialing a number for a cab, but his thumb was actually trembling from his anger. Suddenly, the phone in his hand started ringing, and seeing Trish's name come up on the screen was enough to make him snap. Flipping the phone on, he raised it to his ear.

"What is it?" he demanded harshly.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?" she asked guiltily.

"Yeah, it is," he said bluntly. "What is it?" he repeated, walking away from Stephanie's house.

"I just… wanted to see if you had seen the show," Trish said sheepishly.

"No, I didn't, I'm in Connecticut right now," he said in a low voice, and Trish raised an eyebrow at that.

"You flew to Connecticut?" she asked in disbelief. "Chris, you're supposed to be --"

"Look, I don't need you telling me what the fuck I need to do, okay?" Chris snapped, and Trish winced at his tone.

"Sorry," she said dejectedly, and he sighed, waving a taxi cab down.

"No, I'm sorry Trish, I'm the one that should be sorry… I just don't think it's a good idea for you to keep calling me," he said, hoping he sounded friendlier, even though he was probably failing miserably. He didn't care though, he was done worrying about her feelings. He was done leading her on, and she deserved better anyways. His heart was claimed, and claimed for a long time to come.

"Chris, what's --"

"Trish, stop, okay? Just stop."

"Chris," she started, feeling hurt at how cold he was being with her. "What's wrong with you?"

"I gotta go, there's a cab here. I'll see you next week," he said, before hanging up. He put his phone in his pocket, opening the door to the taxi and throwing his crutches in angrily before climbing in. "To the airport," he instructed the driver, his fists clenched. He knew deep down that this business with Stephanie wasn't over, and he accepted that as the taxi driver pulled off.

But first, there was going to be hell to pay for Christian.


	22. It's Not Over

**A/N: **I don't own any of the names here, so don't sue… I just bought my textbooks for the second semester and man am I broke! But anyways, no excuse for the lack of updates. I hate excuses… but here it is. An update! Enjoy and let me know what you think.

----

**March 1st, 2004**

Shane set his jaw as he stared out of his window, looking at the scenery as it passed him by. He watched it pass in an endless and darkened blur as his limousine cruised along silently towards the arena where the show was to be held that night. He was silent, not wanting to speak for fear of losing his temper, but it was getting out of hand.

Twenty-seven years. His sister was twenty-seven years old, and he had seen her grow up. He was there and had always been there. Every high and low she'd gone through, he had been there and was still there. She confided in him in a way that made him proud to be an older brother, and then she'd turn around and do something like this. It made those years of getting to know her disappear in his eyes and make him wonder just how well he knew her in the first place… or if he had ever known her at all.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," he responded, the anger threatening to spill out in his voice, which he somehow kept in check. Stephanie rolled her eyes and looked away, looking out her own window as they rode on in silence. She knew he was lying, any fool could see it, but she wasn't in the mood to pry answers from him. They stayed this way for a few minutes, her thoughts going over the curveball that Chris was in her life, while he silently fumed over her mere presence.

Something had to give, and that something was him.

"You want to know what my problem is?" he asked suddenly, startling her and making her look back at him. "My problem is that you never learn from your mistakes, and this is a pretty big fucking mistake, Stephanie."

"I'm going to get my pay from Bischoff and clean up the terms of my release," she said dryly, her eyes shining and daring him to challenge her. "Is that a mistake?"

"That's not why you're going, and you know it," he shot back, not giving in this time. "You're going to see him."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said idly, as if without a care in the world, which only made him fume even more. How in the world could she be so passive when it came to the men in her life? He couldn't see it and it frustrated him that he couldn't make her see the kind of dangerous pattern she was falling into.

"My ass you don't, Steph, you know damn well what I'm talking about," he said, struggling not to raise his voice. "You're going to sit there and tell me that you're coming with me to Raw to talk to Bischoff, after what happened last week?"

"It's none of your Goddamned business why I'm going," she said smartly. "You're not the boss of me, Shane, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to be."

He remained silent for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his own brand of the fiery McMahon temper. He would never get through to her like that, twenty-seven years of arguing, and it had never worked. Fighting fire with fire never worked with his sister, and he knew he had to calm down to truly make her see what he saw.

"You're going to see him, you can't even deny it that you're going to see him. You're going to let him back in, just like you always do, and then he's going to burn you like he always --"

"Stop it, Shane!" Stephanie snapped. "I told you, you've got no say in what the hell I'm doing with my life!"

"What _are _you doing, Steph?" he asked, and she turned away again. "You refuse to see him, you want to isolate him, damn it Stephanie, you fucking _quit _because of him! Then here he comes, begging for forgiveness, and you hear him out… _and _go after him… Stephanie, look at me. Look at me, sis," he said, his tone easing up as she looked back over at him with a look of pure defiance. "I'm just tired of you not getting treated right by the guys you go after. What the hell has Jericho ever done for you? Can you honestly tell me what he's done, _anything _he's done that makes him good enough for you?"

"_Thanks for the flowers, Chris, they're beautiful."_

"_Glad you like them."  
_

"_I do…"_

"He's not good enough for you Stephanie," Shane said solemnly, as his sister fell into deep thought. "All he's ever done is hurt you, I can't believe you even let him talk to you after the shit he's pulled…"

"_He's not going to pin you Monday, you won't be kicked off the shows."_

"_How can you be so sure? What if something happens to you, or to me? What if something --"_

"_I promise you, on the sakes of _my _title, that nothing will happen. I promise Steph – I won't let anything happen to you."_

"Do you see what I'm saying? You can't even think of an occasion, can you? Baby sis, I'm just trying to look out for you, I don't want to see you fall for him again, I hate what he's done, I hate that bastard… he's never done right by you, he doesn't deserve you."

"_You just make me feel like a better person, and once you get used to that feeling, you want it to last. When it doesn't, you can't go back to how it used to be. I'm different because of you… I'm a better man with you, and I'm nothing without you…"_

The sound of Chris's voice saying those words echoed again in her mind, and she turned away from her brother, not wanting to show him how torn she was. She was supposed to be the epitome of strength, and her mind told her that everything Shane was saying was true. Chris _didn't _deserve her, and he had never done anything to prove any different. His words were just that, words, words lacking substance, words spun by a man who was a charming speaker and had once upon a time, charmed his way into her life. Words spoken by the man she had let herself fall dangerously in love with.

Empty words.

"_Don't you get it? Don't you get that it's always been you and it'll always be you?"_

Meaningless words…

"Stephanie," Shane whispered, and she felt his strong hand rub the back of her neck in support. His touch for some reason made her ache for Chris's, and a lump rose in her throat at the thought of how long it had been since she had last been intimate with him. Hell, how long had it been since they had even had a civilized conversation?

"I can't, Shane, and I know I should, but I can't," she said weakly, covering her eyes with one hand. "You don't understand…"

"Yeah, I don't understand why you're putting yourself through hell for someone who doesn't deserve it," he said calmly, hoping she didn't cry. It always bothered him to see her cry, and it always had. "And you can't what, Steph?"

"_You said I meant the world to you, but you mean everything to me…"_

"God, Shane, I can't let him go," she said, her voice breaking. "I think about him all the time, I just…"

He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily, shaking his head. He pulled away from her and looked at her critically for a long moment, while she looked back at him, unshed tears in her eyes.

"You see him enough and talk to him enough, you're just going to fall right back in it with him. He's trying to charm his way into your life, he's trying to make you fall deep with him, why can't you see what he's trying to do, sis? Why do you have to put yourself through this shit, huh?"

She took a deep breath, though it felt painful. This was hard enough on her as it was, and having Shane there to question her instincts wasn't helping. The truth was glaring her in the face, and she couldn't hide from it. She didn't think she could ever hide from it, and had even embraced it at one point. The problem was it had never been mutual… or at least, so she was still trying to convince herself.

In the end though, she agreed with her brother. She turned away and looked out the window again, watching the cars that passed on the other side of the highway on their way to the arena. "He's not good enough for me," she muttered softly, as if trying to convince herself. Shane wasn't convinced as he sighed and turned away to look back out his own window.

Her heart wasn't exactly convinced either.

----

Trish walked down the hallways gingerly, but with as much dignity as she could muster with her back and neck aching the way they were. She wasn't sure if she was needed on the show that night or not, but she figured she'd catch less hell from Bischoff if she just sucked it up and showed up. Even if deep down, she would have much rather stayed home and avoided Christian at all costs.

Avoiding Chris didn't sound so bad either.

The thought of him made her walk a little faster. She felt a slight aching again rear through her back, and she mumbled curses under her breath as she recalled Christian's words of advice. She absolutely hated to admit it, but as time went on and Chris kept ignoring call after call for the entire week (save for the one when she caught him half-asleep, even though that conversation was probably kept under 15 words), she just couldn't keep the thought out of her head.

He went to _Connecticut. _He actually got on a plane, injured knee and all, and _flew _to Connecticut. She hated to see the truth, but God, how much more obvious could it be? How much more proof did he need to see who Chris really was? The man who said he loved her got on a plane while she was getting beaten down by his best friend and humiliated in front of millions, and he wasn't going to see her.

Maybe that wouldn't have hurt so bad if she didn't know who he was really going to see.

"_Get it through your damn head Trish, Chris doesn't give a shit about you…"_

She was being naïve, and she knew it. She didn't know what was making her hold on to this small thread of hope that the past few months hadn't been lies with Chris. He was a complicated man, and she couldn't get through to him. Once upon a time, she had felt like he had let his guard down and let her in, but he had all but thrown her right back out the week prior.

_Not even one call to ask how I was doing… _the thought made it hard to breathe as she finally reached her locker room and pushed open the door, gingerly making her way inside as her temples throbbed mercilessly. She didn't know how attached she had gotten to him, but something inside of her hated it and even though she'd never admit it, part of her resented him for it as well. And now she had a headache to top off her wonderful evening.

She heard someone clear his voice just then and looked up, groaning inwardly. Yes, this was the cherry on top of her perfect day.

"What the hell do you want?" she demanded as Christian snickered, that maddening smirk on his face. She glared at him as he shrugged, sitting rather comfortably on the comfortable couch provided her on this night.

"Did he call?"

"What's it to you?" she snapped, and his smirk grew.

"Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning huh?" he teased, and she felt her angry overcoming the pain in her back as she stared a hole through him. This was a sad excuse of a man, this person standing before her.

"You have some fucking nerve," she said in a low voice, and he just snorted.

"He didn't call, did he?"

"Get out."

He stepped towards her, a knowing look on his face with the hint of a smile. "Trish, you're only fooling yourself, you do know that right? He doesn't care about you, when are you going to wake up and realize that you're wasting your time?"

"I don't think I stuttered," she said evenly, eyeing him down as he stopped walking, standing now directly in front of her. He tilted his head to the side as he looked down at her, studying her. She maintained her eye contact with him, even though her head was still pounding relentlessly.

"He's an asshole," he said in a calm, low tone, making her heart race with anger. Her head in particular felt like it was ready to explode. "When the hell are you going to wake up and realize that you're better than that lying son of a bi--"

That's as far as she let him get before she slapped him as hard as she could across his face. His head whipped to the side and he took a step back, hissing slightly as he rubbed the side of his face. She had caught him right at the ear, and none too gently. He straightened and looked over at her, before snickering as she watched him, breathing heavily from her anger.

"That's all you've got?"

"Get the fuck out of my locker room," she ordered. He stretched his shoulders out a little bit, before shrugging as he advanced towards her again.

"Hey, I try telling you the truth about Chris…"

"He's your best friend," she said in disgust, almost not wanting to believe the things he was saying about a man who was as close to him as a brother.

"He is, he still is, but he's changed," Christian said as his expression darkened, overtaken by anger and frustration. "We were supposed to be a team, and then _you _came along, but let's be honest here, Trish. Chris's head has been out of the damn game since Stephanie came in and took over his life. You, dear," he said, reaching out to her face while she instinctively recoiled from his touch. "You're nothing but an afterthought. His rebound girl. Don't worry though, I booked us a math at Wrestlemania, maybe after I beat the sense back into him he'll see you in some kind of good light."

She slapped his hand away, which only made him laugh. He stepped around her and opened the locker room door to leave, before pausing. He looked over his shoulder at Trish who hadn't moved and was giving him her back, but was obviously waiting for him to leave. Smirking, he leaned back in towards her, close to her ear.

"_I _would've called …"

She spun around angrily and shoved him hard back towards the door. "Get OUT, Christian!" she yelled at him, her anger only escalating when she heard him laugh. She couldn't stand that man, and she kept telling herself that as she went over and practically collapsed onto her sofa. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, wanting nothing more than to just lay out and sleep for a few days. Her body was aching, and being furious with Christian did nothing to help rectify her situation.

She couldn't stand him, this was true, but the reason why bothered her immensely.

He was right, and deep down, she knew it.

----

Chris Benoit stared at the television monitor provided him in his room, his arms folded over his chest as he watched Shawn Michaels give an interview backstage. His upper lip curled up a bit in disgust as Shawn said they wouldn't be able to co-exist together in their tag team match that night. Benoit could agree with that much, wondering who could've been the jackass that booked a match where he would team up with one of his opponents at Wrestlemania. A frown crossed his face as he watched the rest of the interview, already thinking of a plan to escape this night intact. Wrestlemania was only two weeks away, and he knew he would have to be at 150 percent if he was going to walk away with his championship…

He didn't move or even flinch when the door to his locker room entered and Lance Storm walked in. Lance glanced over at the television and decided it was better not to bother Benoit at that point in time. Instead, he walked over and sat down on a bench in the room, catching only the very end of the interview. They both stayed in silence for a long moment, even after the transmission went to commercials.

"You done for the night?" Benoit asked in his dry and blunt tone, and Lance nodded.

"Just worked a dark match. They're doing their best to keep me occupied," Lance responded, his voice equally dry with just a hint of sarcasm. "I thought Bischoff had mentioned me teaming with Christian, seeing as how Jericho's out now."

"Serves that jackass right," Benoit responded, his glare still transfixed to the TV.

Lance didn't respond, silently agreeing. He was tired of dealing with Chris, and although a small part of him had been concerned for his friend after watching him get beat down by Kane, Lance Storm was a proud man. Any concern he had was immediately offset by what Chris had done to him, when he had only had the decency to try and help him with Stephanie. His efforts weren't appreciated, and Lance wasn't about to let that go any time soon.

While Lance lamented on an old friendship, Chris Jericho was wondering how to repair one. He couldn't believe how fast things were unwinding in his life, and how powerless he was to slow any of it down. First he had lost Stephanie, and then Lance and Benoit, and now Christian. Trish was certainly going to follow soon, of this he was sure, but that was the least of his concerns. He walked the hallways of the backstage area aimlessly, trying hard to think of how to put the pieces back together and earn back the trust of the people that mattered the most to him. It irked him that he had painted himself into this corner, but he had to accept it for what it was. At the end of the day, it was all his fault.

But maybe, maybe sometime soon, something was going to break his way.

It was hard for him. Apologizing did not become Chris Jericho, and neither did begging. He had always detested people who begged for anything, and now he was no better. But what could he do? He slowly stopped walking when he saw a familiar locker room come into view. He cringed instinctively, knowing that this was going to be absolutely futile. Just like his apology the week before to Stephanie, when he had poured out every emotion that had bottled itself inside of him for the last two years, it would probably hurt him more than anything. He didn't even deserve their forgiveness.

But that had never stopped him before, and it wasn't going to start now. He took a deep breath and slowly stepped up towards the door and knocked on it. As soon as he did, he heard movement behind the door, and part of him wanted to run.

"_You're a coward…"_

Benoit's words echoed in his mind and he forced himself to stay there and wait. He didn't have to wait long.

Lance's expression didn't change when he opened the door to find Chris standing there. Had he not been overwhelmed with raw anger and betrayal towards his former best friend, he might have even cracked a welcoming smile. As it was, he stared Chris down, making the blond man shift his weight uncomfortably.

"Hey," Chris said warily, knowing he was on thin ice.

"What the hell do you want, Jericho?" Lance demanded, and Benoit's frown deepened at the sound of his name. He was trying to get into a zone, and dwelling with Chris's stupidity wasn't going to help him.

"Look man, I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry," Chris said, feeling another part of his pride slowly die inside of him. Between Lance and Stephanie, they were both going to wear him down until he was a shell of who he used to be.

But it would be worth it in the end. They could both easily build him back up a stronger man, and so he just had to suck it up now. He looked down a little bit, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck and hardly finding it in him to keep looking Lance in the eye.

"I overreacted, and you didn't deserve it, and I was just wondering if we could just… forget it happened, we've been friends too long to let this kill our friendship," Chris finished, hoping he didn't sound like he was pleading. He crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes still on the floor as he waited for some kind of reaction. When none came, he forced himself to look back up at Lance, who was still staring him down.

"I don't know, Jericho," Lance droned. "Frankly, I'm tired of being friends with a jackass who won't listen to reason. I tried to help you when I didn't need to and what did I get out of it? You throwing shit in my face when I hadn't even done anything."

Anger flared through Chris at this, and it wasn't directed towards Lance. The culprit, the true culprit of everything that had gone wrong for him was someone who he had considered a best friend.

"Christian fucked me over," Chris said in a low voice, his fists clenching at the thought of that scumbag excuse of a friend he had had as he slowly leaned towards Lance so no one would overhear their conversation. "He told Stephanie some shit about us, and she lost it with me… and he made me think it was you, I'm sorry man. I can't believe I didn't see it…" his voice trailed along with the frustration that the thought still gave him. But that was going to have its own place and time, he just had to have patience.

"I always said you were stupid," Lance said bluntly, and Chris gave a humorless smile at that.

"Yeah, I guess you were right," Chris admitted reluctantly, another part of his pride dying. He let out a deep breath as Benoit appeared at the doorway, looking between them both as Chris looked back down at the floor.

"Jericho," Benoit said gruffly, making Chris look back up.

"Yeah?" he said, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"I have to give an interview," Benoit told him, and Chris nodded and moved out of his way. Benoit walked right past him without even a second glance, as Chris watched him. He didn't even know what that meant, it could've meant anything, but he figured with his luck it probably meant nothing except that he had been standing in the man's way.

"He's like that these days," Lance said, as if reading Chris's mind. "In a whole zone for his main event shot at Wrestlemania. I'm sure you know how that goes," he added, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Chris winced, and was about to say something when Lance cut him off, "You said what you needed to say, and that's good. You're definitely more of a man than the last time I saw you."

"I don't know if I should be complimented or offended," Chris joked warily.

"How's the knee?"

"It's alright, getting better… I should be good to go for Wrestlemania," Chris answered, looking down at his knee which wasn't cleared yet.

"Who's the lucky opponent?"

"There's only one bastard I want," Chris said in a cool voice, looking back up at Lance, who simply nodded.

"Good luck with everything then," Lance told him.

"Thanks, but I won't need it."

"Don't go back to being stupid, Jericho," Lance warned, even though Chris could hear the joking in his voice. He smiled gratefully at his friend, knowing that he wasn't completely forgiven, but incredibly thankful they were even on talking terms. He'd kill to be on that same page with Stephanie, so he knew when to be appreciative.

"I'm not planning on it."

----

Stephanie finally felt like she could breathe when she was no longer with her brother. His constant scrutiny of her situation and how she was handling it was ridiculous. She was a grown woman and she was making her choices, none of which required his approval. As she stepped out of Bischoff's office, tired of arguing with that man, her eyes instinctively scanned the hallways. But she didn't see who she was looking for. She almost felt foolish for searching him out, but he had searched her out, hadn't he?

"_I don't understand why you're putting yourself through hell for someone who doesn't deserve it…"_

Shane's words repeated themselves, and she didn't have an answer for them. How could she when she didn't understand it herself? She was almost ready to turn right back around and just admit to Shane that he was right, and she was being stupid, when she saw him. He was sitting on top of a steel crate, staring at the wall in front of him, a deep scowl on his face. A sudden wave of nostalgia hit her right then, an eerie sense of déjà vu as she remembered this exact scenario from somewhere. But from where?

"_As one of my biggest superstars here on Smackdown, I just have to know… are you happy here?"_

She almost felt sick to her stomach at the memory of that night, a crisp memory that was etched into her brain and her heart. She remembered the trust she had invested in him, and God, she could still feel the pain of his betrayal. She suddenly stopped walking and disappeared around a corner, not knowing what she was doing. That same man who had broken her down to infinitesimal pieces, who had crushed her spirit and her hopes that there was something real there, this was the man she loved? She closed her eyes at the thought of the depth of her stupidity.

"Chris!" a female voice cried out, and Stephanie's frustration melted away into anger when she pinpointed the voice. She stayed behind her corner, not wanting to see this woman anywhere near Chris as a violent pang of jealousy overtook her…

Chris closed his eyes and groaned inwardly, already hearing Trish approach him. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her anymore, why couldn't she see? He took a deep breath and looked up to find her standing right in front of him, confusion and hurt circling her eyes. The sight made him wince, and it was only at this moment that he realized just how much he was going to break her when she found out the truth.

But the fact was that he was in love with another woman, and he had always been. Nothing Trish could say or do would change that…

"Hi," he said, trying to sound friendly.

"Hi? That's all you're going to say?" she demanded, the hurt filling her voice and wedging the guilt further into him. "I've been calling and calling, and you never answer your phone!"

"Sorry," he said lamely, and she waited for something more, but it wasn't there.

"That's it? That's all you're going to say?"

"What else do you want me to say?" he asked, and the indifference in his voice stung her somehow. She straightened her posture, still feeling a dull aching in her back when she did so.

"I don't know," she said sarcastically. "Maybe a _'Hey, are you still alive and breathing?' _would be nice, considering the fact that I was there for you when you were hurt! I stayed with you, I offered to take care of you, I --"

"I know, Trish, I know, I'm thankful," he said, even if his words weren't completely heartfelt. "I've just had a lot on my mind this past week, I'm sorry if I've been an asshole to you."

"Yeah? You've had a lot on your mind? You must've had _tons _on your mind to find time to fly to Connecticut," Trish said in a rather bitter tone. He sighed and looked away, not even bothering to answer. However, had he looked the other way, he would've seen Stephanie cautiously peering out at them and watching the exchange. "Yeah Chris, just ignore me why don't you," Trish said, her voice threatening to crack. "Put me through the ringer, let your best friend kick my ass, yeah, it's just the cherry on top of a terrific fucking dessert!"

Chris blinked in confusion before looking back over at her. "What do you mean, letting my best friend kick your ass?"

Trish just stared at him as if he had grown two more heads. "What the hell do you mean, what do I mean? Have you been living under a rock or something, Chris? You mean to tell me you didn't watch the show last week?"

"Yeah, I didn't watch it," he replied, looking at her curiously.

"Christian put me in the Walls," she said bitterly, and was amazed when he looked legitimately surprised.

"_He doesn't care about you, when are you going to wake up and realize that you're wasting your time?"_

"Are you okay?" Chris asked, looking her over, to which she scoffed, not knowing where this bitterness was coming from.

"Yes, Chris, a week later, I think I lived. I appreciate the concern," she said sarcastically, feeling her anger rising with him as Christian's words repeated themselves in her mind. "And last time I checked, since apparently you don't even watch the show anymore nor do you bother to even keep up with it, Christian's out there right now." Chris's eyes darkened considerably at the words, which sparked a little bit of hope in her. Maybe he did care? She continued, "He booked a match between you two at Wrestlemania."

He stood up and walked off towards the gorilla position without another word.

----

"I did it all for my best friend, Chris Jericho," Christian said into the microphone to the rain of boos from the fans as he smirked. "That's right Chris, this was all for you. Hell, I even went to Bischoff and it's Jericho versus Christian at Wrestlemania, where I'm going to beat the hell out of him, and hopefully knock some sense into him!"

He snickered as the fans booed louder, but he didn't care. He didn't care about their opinions, he never had. That's why he was a winner. He saw what was happening to Chris, his friend who cared about everyone. He'd be damned to follow in Chris's footsteps and become the loser everyone felt sorry for. Maybe after it was all said and done, Chris would thank him for making him see the light.

Suddenly, there were cheers from a few fans, and then the cheers quickly escalated. Christian looked at the fans in confusion, before turning towards the ramp. As soon as he did, he almost dropped his microphone at the sight of Chris strolling out onto the stage. He could've sworn that he was going to be out for two weeks because of his knee injury, but when he made eye contact with his former friend, he realized how stupid he had been.

Chris stopped walking halfway down the ramp, his eyes fixed on Christian's. His fists were clenched at his side, and he wasn't dressed to wrestle. He wasn't there to wrestle, he was there to fight. He stared at Christian, feeling everything build inside of him. All of his anger, all of his hatred, all of his emotion was combining into a dangerous explosion, all because of someone who he had once considered a friend.

"_What the hell do you want me to say, Chris? Do you want me to repeat what Christian said to me?"_

"_Excuse me? Christian said something to you?"_

"_Yeah, he said according to you, I'm a cheap and easy lay…"_

The pain in her words resonated through him, and that's what did him in.

He limped for a moment, before sucking it up and charging down the rest of the ramp and slid into the ring, vaguely hearing the microphone from Christian's hand drop. He was on his feet in an instant and immediately tackled the hell out of Christian, before pounding him relentlessly. Christian was caught by surprise but somehow managed to shove Chris off of him, before rolling out of the ring and making a quick escape. Chris stood up angrily and stared Christian down as he stumbled back up the ramp, not even hearing the cheers of the fans.

The cameras stopped rolling, but Chris's temper was far from stopping now. He wasn't rational anymore, nothing but pure emotion driving him on as he climbed out of the ring and made his way back up the ramp after Christian. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he couldn't place the overwhelming feeling of hatred that was coursing through him.

Christian was walking quickly down the hallway towards the arena exit, rubbing his jaw where Chris had hit him good. He figured he had about a minute to escape before Chris tracked him down, and he had seen the look in his eyes. He knew that now was not the time to mess with his ex-best friend.

His minute went by awfully quick, because before he knew it, he felt someone tackle him from behind, sending him sprawling onto the floor. He turned onto his back only to be met with a stiff shot right to the face from Chris, and he could immediately feel warm blood. He tried getting his hands up when he felt Chris get off of him.

"Get up, you son of a bitch!" Chris shouted, before bending over and snatching handfuls of Christian's shirt and literally lifting him back up to his feet. Christian barely had time to react before Chris hit him hard again, knocking him backwards. Christian groaned as a crowd started to gather around them, lifting himself up so he was sitting, even though his face was throbbing. Chris was about to kick him right in the ribs, as hard as he could when he felt hands grab onto him and pull him back right as he was about to gear up.

"Let me go! Let me go you jackasses!"

"Easy, Jericho," the person holding onto him said, and he recognized the voice as Lance's. "Easy, wait until Wrestlemania. You'll get your shot there, just wait for it…"

Chris stopped struggling, glaring at Christian who was staring right back at him, holding onto his jaw and boasting a bloodied nose. Lance didn't loosen his grip, knowing by the look in Chris's eyes that as soon as he did, his friend was liable to beat Christian until there would be no match at the show. Even though Lance himself wouldn't mind it, he knew that Christian deserved to be humiliated in front of the entire world, not in front of a few wrestlers and backstage personnel.

"You son of a bitch," Christian snarled, glaring back at Chris. "You could've broken my goddamned nose!"

"You were my best friend," Chris said, looking at the stranger before him in disgust. "You lied to me…"

"I did it for you, Jericho!" Christian said as he got back up to his feet. Lance immediately felt Chris tense, but he kept a good hold of him. "You're fucking weak man! First Stephanie, then Trish, you're a damn joke! Me and you were supposed to be tight, tag team champions, and then you got soft… I did it for you --"

"You fucking lied to me!" Chris yelled, struggling against Lance who was immediately assisted by a few referees when it looked as though Chris was about to break free. "You lied to me, and you lied to Stephanie to turn her against me! Who the fuck do you think you are to mess with my life like that, huh!"

"Give me a fucking break," Christian snorted, his voice tough with the knowledge that Chris was being held back. "You know, at first I thought that you deserved better than Stephanie, but you know what? I get it now man… I had it wrong all along. Trish deserves better, and Stephanie, that _whore_, shefucking deserves better than you too…"

That was the last straw for Chris.

Lance didn't know how Chris did it, but he tore free from everyone who was holding onto him and charged right into Christian, slamming him back against the wall. He immediately followed by driving his good knee right into Christian's ribs, knocking the wind right out of him and sending his former friend to the floor.

"Fuck you," Chris snarled as he felt the hands come onto him again while Christian groaned in pain on the floor. "Stay the hell away from Stephanie, do you hear me? You come near her again and I'll knock your fucking teeth out you jackass!"

"He's not worth it, Jericho," Lance said, trying to calm his friend's rabid temper which was dangerously close to spiraling out of control. He could literally feel Chris shaking from his anger, and it was a far cry from the sheepish guy who had approached him less than an hour ago to apologize. "You'll get him in two weeks man, get a hold of yourself."

"Fucking bastard," Chris muttered, his eyes still fixed on Christian as he breathed heavily. He could feel a dull ache in his bad knee, but he didn't care. For once, it felt good to let it all go in a way that didn't involve breaking down into tears. The thought almost fueled him to break free again and beat on Christian some more, and it truly sickened him how so much of his pain had been attributed by a man who was supposed to be his closest friend.

"Come on," Lance told him, practically dragging him away. He firmly believed there was a time and place for everything as he led Chris to his own locker room. This wasn't the time.

Meanwhile, Stephanie watched as Lance led Chris away while the referees asked Christian if he was alright. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel, but she somehow felt relieved. She turned to look over her shoulder, where a familiar person stood.

"Are you going to go see him?"

"I don't know," she said, even though she knew. Shane nodded, watching as Christian slowly sat back up.

"Well sis," he said, looking back at her and putting his arm over her shoulders. "I couldn't get Bischoff to get you a job again, that bastard's stubborn… but just so you know, I'll support whatever you decide to do."

She looked at him in surprise, "Really?"

"Yeah… I don't trust him, but he seems to care about you from what I just saw."

"Yeah…" her voice trailed, and he squeezed her shoulder in support before going over to see if he could help out the referees. She wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to do, not sure if she even really wanted to go see him.

But she needed to, and so she headed over towards Lance's locker room…

----

"That son of a bitch!" Chris shouted, throwing a random bag of Lance's things across the room at the wall. Lance snorted, thankful there wasn't anything that could be broken in the bag. His look turned to a frown when he saw Chris knock over his TV, making it fall over and the screen shatter.

"I'm not paying for that," he said as Chris collapsed onto a steel chair, so angry there were tears shining in his eyes. He closed his eyes and covered them with one hand, struggling to keep his temper in check when there was a soft knock on the door. Lance cursed the person's timing, and braced himself just in case it was Christian coming after them for a cheap shot.

He was surprised to find that it was Stephanie looking at him warily, her look similar to the look Chris had when he had first come to him that night. Then again, he felt like he shouldn't have been surprised. He held the door open and motioned for her to step inside, and as soon as she did, he quietly stepped out. She watched him leave, and then turned to Chris, and was hit once again with an incredible sense of déjà vu.

And then it hit her. This was almost the exact same scene she had walked in on two years ago, when it had all started. He was in the exact same position he was in back then, that same look of frustrated and pure anger etched onto his face as he struggled to maintain his composure.

Hell, the only thing he needed was to have his hair tied back and be clad in his ring tights, and the circle would be complete.

She walked over to him, and he didn't even seem to realize she was there. She wanted so desperately to hold onto her anger towards him, but she could feel herself slipping as she stepped behind him. She reached to his shoulders, feeling him instantly tense at her touch.

He didn't even have to look over to know it was her. He was about to say her name when she slipped her hands into his shirt and onto his bare shoulders, slowly massaging them. Any thoughts of Christian just about died as soon as she did, and he closed his eyes as he finally felt himself relax for the first time in what seemed like years…

"Breathe, Chris," she whispered, and he finally felt like he could. He leaned his head back as his muscles eased, nothing on his mind but the fact that Stephanie was there, with him, _touching _him again… he didn't know how long it would last, but he was going to stretch this moment as long as he could.

Like many good things, however, the moment didn't last long enough. Just like that, her warm touch on his skin was gone. He groaned inwardly as he straightened and opened his eyes, before slowly standing to face her. The sight of her made him feel… something, he wasn't sure what. He just knew, looking at her tired eyes and her strained smile, that she had never looked more beautiful to him in his life than she did right then. He unconsciously gave her a warm smile, but she looked away as soon as he did.

"It's hard looking at you sometimes, Chris," she said, cutting into the tense silence as she studied the wall of Lance's locker room. "It's hard to think about you even, it makes me wish I could just stop… block you out entirely."

"You don't mean that," he said, taking a step towards her.

"No, I really do," she snapped, finding that anger that had almost completely melted at the sight of his smile. "Chris, you can't just… come back to me and expect me to forget the hell you've put me through, it's not right, and it's not fair."

"I'm not expecting you to forget anything," he replied calmly, stopping about a foot from her and wishing she could just look at him again.

"Yes, yes you are, you asked me for another chance like you just want the last two years to disappear… how selfish can you be that you can't see this from my point of view?" she demanded, turning to give him a frustrated look. He flinched a little bit at her words, and they bothered him immensely.

"Oh I'm selfish?" he asked in disbelief. "I see, now I'm the one who's selfish in all of this."

"What the fuck else would you call it? What I recall, and do correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall you leaving my show, and not having the decency to tell me until we had sex right in the middle of a parking lot, do you recall this?"

Had his emotions not been off the chart that night, he probably would have agreed and begged for forgiveness again.

But begging did not become him.

"You want to know what I recall, Steph?" he shot back, angry at how stubborn she was being through all of this. "I recall a night two years ago when you told me that you loved me, and you were piss ass drunk when you said it! That's what I fucking recall, do you remember that moment?"

"Oh yeah, I remember you leaving me that night, I remember it quite well," she snapped.

"Oh you make it sound so fucking easy, Stephanie," he snorted in disgust. "What the hell was I supposed to do, huh? Take your word for it while you reeked of alcohol? Don't you know what the fucking did to _me, _Steph? Hearing you say you loved me… and then having to think it was just the alcohol talking? And then, you fucking lied to me and said you didn't even remember that night, because you only think about yourself!"

"You left me the night I needed you the most!"

"You would've done the exact same thing! Don't make yourself out to be the only one that's gotten hurt in this, Stephanie," he warned, his voice no longer steady. "I've loved you since that night, and all I had to show for it was you deciding when and when you wouldn't tell me the fucking truth. And when I finally did, when I finally told you how I felt, you flipped the fuck out on me! I tried, I tried so hard to get over you, other girls, parties, alcohol, but you're… I can't," he finally admitted. "And you never had the decency to even come clean with me on top of it all?"

"You walked off my show! What the hell was I supposed to do, welcome you back with open arms? Is that what you want, Chris, you want me to erase the past, you want me to forget the insults you threw my way, you want me to forget how pathetic you made me feel? Is that what you want?"

"I told you what I wanted last week," he said, the fight gone from his voice, pleading in his eyes. "You hurt, I hurt, it's no way to live…"

"You fucking used me!" she shouted, tears stinging her eyes, and he advanced towards her instantaneously. She backed up, but there was nothing there but the wall, and a split moment later Chris was right there in front of her, pinning her against it. He was so close she could smell his aftershave, so close that if she just leaned forward an inch or two, she'd be kissing him… the thought made her look away, as she refused to give in to him.

"Look at me."

She silently and stubbornly refused.

"Look at me, Stephanie," he repeated, his voice firm, but she wasn't about to. He wasn't about to give her a choice though as he reached to her chin and gently brought her face back so she could look at him. "You look at me right now, and you listen to what I'm going to tell you, and let it sit and marinate in that stubborn head of yours. I have _never, _not _once, _used you the way you think I did. Do you hear me? I've _never _used you, and I would _never _do that. That shit is a bunch of lies spun by a jealous bastard who I'm going to dismantle at Wrestlemania, but I'd rather retire from this business before I ever used you or your body for anything." He held her eyes with his own, and she looked right into them, and she could feel herself falling for him all over again.

"Yeah, whatever --"

"No, none of that shit, you get it straight right now, Stephanie. I love you, I don't even know why because you are the most stubborn person I have ever met in my entire life, you've made me feel lower than dog shit for the last two years, but God, I love you, Steph, please…" he started to lean in, feeling like he was going to combust if he couldn't taste her lips right then, but she raised two fingers to his lips and intercepted him.

"Shhh," she whispered. She let her thumb trail over his lips, and it took all his self-control to stay still. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I believe you."

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

"I just need time…"

"Yeah… okay," he relented, reluctantly pulling away from her. He needed to give her this, he needed her to deal with whatever this was that they had on her own time. She nodded when he pulled away and walked off, and he admired her poise. Once she was out of the room, he went back over and sat down on the steel chair he had been on when she walked in. She wanted time, well, he could give it to her. Time, after all, paled in comparison to what she had just given him.

Hope.


	23. All That Remains

**A/N: **Here it is! Fozzy owns "All That Remains"… enjoy.

**March 8th, 2004**

_Time heals all wounds._

_Whoever said that is a damn liar._

Chris stopped writing in his notebook and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall of his locker room. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind, trying not to think about anything. Not Stephanie, not Trish, not Christian, no one. Thinking brought his emotions raging forward and mixing them in ways that just left him confused and feeling miserable, and he didn't really need it. He felt tired and wished that he hadn't come to the show tonight, wishing he had stayed at home and rested. It would have done him good to not be near anyone and just clear his mind.

"_I just need time…"_

He frowned. How much time could she possibly need? Wasn't near two years of this more than enough for her?

He forced himself to stop. He couldn't keep thinking like that, that was why he was in this predicament to begin with. He was impulsive, way too impulsive, and that was his downfall and was costing him time with Stephanie. Had he had more patience in the beginning, they'd be happy right now, and he wouldn't be sitting on the floor of his locker room wondering if she would really give him another chance. He didn't really deserve one, but he had to wait and see.

He looked up when he heard someone knock on his door, feeling hope rush through him. He bit his lip as he stared at the door, forcing the feeling to subside. Even if she did show up to Raw that night, she wouldn't come to see him. He didn't know how much time she needed, but he assumed it was probably more than a week.

The knock came again.

"It's open," he said, staring intently as it opened slowly. A moment later, Trish poked her head in the door and he let out a deep breath, not able to help the disappointment he felt that it wasn't Stephanie.

"Hey," she said with a wary smile.

"Hi," he said, leaning his head back against the wall.

"Can I come in?"

His initial instinct was to say no, but he couldn't keep being an ass to Trish. It wasn't her fault, it was his fault for being a jackass and not knowing what the hell he wanted. He nodded after a moment, and she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

She watched him leaning back against the wall, his right knee drawn up to his chest and his forearm resting on it. She followed his forearm down to his hand and felt her chest tighten at the sight of a familiar notebook. She silently composed herself, telling herself that she had come to fix things between them and not make them worse. Quietly, she took a seat next to him against the wall.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Trish wanting to ask him so many things but not wanting to break their silence. The silence was comforting, but most of all, it was just safe. As soon as she opened her mouth to start prying, she was scared that she'd lose him. She wasn't sure if she was quite ready for that, even though all the signs were pointing that he was readily slipping out of her reach.

"You okay?" she asked, eyeing him carefully.

"No," he said quietly, staring straight ahead. He leaned his head towards hers, still not looking at her. "You?"

"No," she said after a moment's silence. "I think we need to talk."

He looked down, "Yeah, I think we do."

"You've just… I don't know what's going on with us. I don't know, you're just… not the same," she told him, but he stayed quiet as he listened. "I thought we might've had something for a while, I mean… you were the one that kept coming after me, you were the one that wanted me to talk to you again after I swore I wouldn't, you were the one that said you loved me…"

He looked over at her then. She stopped, searching his eyes and wondering what was going on with them. She had thought at one point that she could read him, just look him in his eyes and see what he was feeling, but she realized in that moment as she stared into his clear blue eyes that she was sorely mistaken. She had no idea what was going through his mind, but if she had, she surely wouldn't have come.

Instead, her eyes gravitated towards his lips. He watched her as she leaned in towards him, and he let her. He let her put her hand on the side of his face, and he closed his eyes at the touch, imagining that it was Stephanie touching him like this. A moment later and he felt her breath dangerously close to his lips, and he let it be for an instant before pulling away as soon as she was about to kiss him. He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, his eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry, Trish, I can't," he said, and she immediately got back up to her feet.

"It's her, isn't it?" she demanded angrily, but he didn't move. This was inevitable, had always been inevitable, but he just didn't feel like he could deal with the combination of Christian, Stephanie, _and _Trish in one night. "Goddamn it, Chris, answer me, I deserve at least a fucking answer don't I?"

"Trish…"

"Trish what? Are you going to deny it?" she asked, and he finally looked back up at her. Now he was really wishing that he had stayed home, but this conversation was long overdue.

Trish watched him angrily as he slowly climbed back up to his feet, tossing his notebook to the side in the process. He straightened and dusted himself off, before finally looking back up at her. He ran a hand through his long, blond hair, and she bit her lip as a flicker of naïve hope ran through her. Maybe, there was still a chance… _maybe she was overreacting. _The thought was sobering as she watched him fold his arms over his chest and look down to the floor.

"Trish, I've been involved with Stephanie on and off for the last two years," he admitted slowly. She felt something churn in her stomach at his words, but he didn't even look back up at her. "We were kind of together for a little while after WrestleMania two years ago, but uh, it was only for a couple of weeks, it wasn't anything official," he said sheepishly as he kicked at the floor, a bitter taste still coming to his mouth even after all the time that had passed.

"You love her," Trish said softly, unwilling tears burning her eyes. "You've lied to me this entire time…"

"I tried getting over her," he said, feeling tired all of a sudden. "I tried, you have no idea how hard I tried. I thought… I thought that you were my ticket out, that you would help me get completely over her. I wish it wasn't her, believe me," he chuckled humorlessly, "I really, really wish it wasn't her."

"You said you loved me…"

He closed his eyes and sighed, "Trish, come on, when did I say that?"

"I was in your locker room with you, you were kissing me, and you said -"

"I was half-asleep and I thought…" his voice trailed as he shook his head and realization finally dawned on her.

"You thought I was Stephanie?" she asked dumbly, struggling to not let her tears fall. The writing was on the wall for her to read, and she could read the three words clear as day.

Christian was right.

"I love her, I've always loved her," he said, making eye contact with her again. He felt guilty when he saw her watery eyes, but it was different from when he saw Stephanie cry. When Stephanie cried, he always felt like crying too, and no one made him feel like that. It pained him deep down to see Stephanie cry, and the sight almost always made him want to break into tears as well. Her pain was his pain, and there was no one alive that made him feel that way every single time. "It's always been her… I want to be with her, you have no idea how much I want to be with her. I'm trying to fix things but they're complicated… I'm sorry, Trish, it was never you," he told her, meaning that the reason he had been distant towards her had never been her fault.

She misunderstood what he meant as saying it was never her who was the important one in his life. She tried to speak and say something, but his admission was hard to take. Yes, she had anticipated it, but anticipating and experiencing were not the same. She had no words for him, no words at all, and so she just stood there and brushed at her tears with her fingers, embarrassed that she hadn't seen this coming from the very beginning.

"But uh…" he inwardly cursed at himself, not believing he was actually going to say this, but not really knowing what else to say. Christian, he was prepared to deal with. Stephanie, he was never prepared to deal with, but he was slowly figuring out how to change that. Trish, he just didn't know. He closed his eyes momentarily and wished that he hadn't been so stupid before, maybe then this could have all been avoided. "You know, maybe we should… just be friends."

Trish's hurt immediately dissipated into anger, anger that immediately seized her and gave her back the ability to speak… to scream if she wanted to, and right then she most definitely wanted to scream.

"_Friends_?" she asked in disbelief as he looked at her regretfully. "You want to be _friends _after you fucking lied to me for months!"

"What else do you want from me, Trish?" he asked, exasperated now. "I love her, I can't be with you anymore, I don't know what you people want from me, what the hell do you want, huh? Tell me, I don't know, I don't fucking know what to do here, I'm sorry, but I just don't…"

"You cheated on me with her, didn't you," she accused, staring him right in the eye.

"Like I said," he said quietly. "We've been on and off for the past two years."

She bit her lip and hugged her arms around her midsection, feeling like breaking down into tears. She didn't know which was worse, knowing that she was losing him or knowing that she had never had him to begin with. He was Stephanie's, the signs were so, _so _clear now, but what did it matter now?

It didn't was the thing.

He approached her and reached out to touch her shoulder, but as soon as he did, she slapped the hell out of him. He hadn't seen it coming at all and before he knew it, his head was whipped to the side and the left side of his face was stinging. He let out a deep breath as he rubbed his face, before feeling the corner of his lip. He looked at his hand and saw the small bit of blood as Trish stormed out of his room.

He stood there in silence for a moment, before going back over to where he had been sitting before. He sat down again, touching the bottom corner of his lower lip that was throbbing, probably from catching the tip of her nail, or something, he wasn't sure. Looking over, he picked up his notebook again and looked at it for a long time.

What if she decided he wasn't worth her trouble? The thought stung, but he knew he couldn't get his hopes up. It was still a very real possibility that she wouldn't take him back, and he honestly didn't believe he deserved the chance. Getting his hopes up now would only screw him over later, and he wasn't having it. He pulled out the pen that was secured in the spiral of the notebook and opened to the first clean page he saw, and began to write.

-----

"You know," Lance droned, "You should take it easy tonight. You go all out, you won't have anything left for this Sunday, and then you're out of luck because Hunter won't give you another shot."

"I'll take it easy once I'm champion," Chris Benoit responded as he worked on his push-ups. "Triple H doesn't respect me, well, I'm just going to have to beat the damn respect out of him."

"Who do you have tonight?"

"Hardy," Benoit responded mechanically, and Lance almost felt bad for the older Hardy brother. He was seeing first-hand just how focused Chris Benoit really was, and he knew that he was going to tear through Matt if it meant being one instant closer to winning the championship.

"Don't kill the kid."

"I don't give a damn about him," Benoit responded gruffly. "He just needs to stay the hell out of my way." Lance shrugged, not disagreeing, and Benoit glanced up at him. "Word around is that Jericho got into a fight with Christian last week?"

"Yeah, it started in the ring but it went backstage," Lance said in his monotone voice. "I helped stop it before it got out of control."

"Woman problems?"

"When is it never? You know how it always is with Jericho," Lance told him, and Benoit grunted his agreement. "He seems like he's coming around. There's still hope for him."

"I still think he's a jackass," Benoit said evenly.

"Yeah, but he's starting to realize it," Lance said as he stood up from the bench he'd been sitting on. "I think I'm gonna go find him and have a chat with him. Pick the man's brain and see if he really is turning over a new leaf."

"Good luck with that."

Lance gave a nod before walking out of Benoit's locker room, glancing back and forth down the hallways. He always spent time with Benoit to make sure the man wasn't working himself into a hole in his preparations for his Wrestlemania title shot. Chris Benoit was a very intense individual, but Lance considered him a friend and felt compelled to check up on him from time to time.

Much like the feeling he currently had to check up on Chris.

He was still burned by what had gone down between them, but he hadn't found out what had happened between him and Stephanie after he had made his escape the week before. He was unwillingly concerned with Chris's mental well-being and walked down the hall towards his locker room, hoping whatever had happened with Stephanie had been good. But with the kind of luck Chris had, it probably wasn't.

Finally, he reached a familiar locker room and knocked. He didn't hear anything, and so after a moment, he knocked again.

"Get lost, assclown!" Chris shouted from inside. Lance took that as a welcome and pushed open the door, walking inside. Chris was sitting against the wall, the death glare that had been on his face disappearing at the sight of Lance.

"You always were the welcoming one," Lance said absent-mindedly as Chris sighed.

"Sorry," he answered, no real apology in his voice. "I've just got a lot on my mind and it's stressing me out."

"Like?" Lance prompted, heading over to him. He went over and took a seat on the floor next to him, noting the notebook that was in Chris's hand. He couldn't place from where, but he recognized it.

"The match with Christian this Sunday," Chris said, giving the safe answer.

"Since when do you get stressed out about non-title matches?"

"This is an important match to me. It's personal."

"So your stress has nothing at all to do with Stephanie?" Lance wondered, knowing that there had to be more. Chris stayed silent for a moment, and Lance knew not to press the issue further. He was tired of pushing Chris into things, and so from now on he was content to just listen and not force his friend's hand into anything. It hadn't worked up until this point, so he figured it wasn't going to work anytime soon. And so there they sat in silence, Lance not thinking about anything in particular, and Chris feeling like he usually felt those days… miserable.

"She said she needed time," Chris said after his moment of thought. "But I don't know what the hell that means."

"I'm no rocket scientist, but I think it means she needs time."

"I don't know, she might just be covering up. I don't think she wants to give us a chance," Chris said with a deep frown. "She's just making it so complicated, you know? It's like she wants me to be miserable."

Lance rolled his eyes, "Yeah, Jericho, I'm sure that's why she said she needed more time. It's all a huge plan to make you feel like shit."

"I just think two years is enough time. Two years man, come on, the games have to stop sometime, right?"

"Don't be a jackass," Lance said as he leaned his head back against the wall, matching Chris's position. "Just give the woman time to sort out whatever she needs to sort out."

"I _am _giving her time, but how much time could she possibly need?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?"

"Because I'm giving her fucking time!" Chris said angrily, before shaking his head. "I'm sorry man, I'm not mad at you, it just bothers me that I can't ever get anything with her. Anyone else and I wouldn't be going through all this goddamn trouble."

"But she's the exception," Lance pointed out, and Chris sighed and closed his eyes, trying to clear his head again.

"Yeah, she's the exception."

"Give her time, she'll come around," Lance told him, repeating almost verbatim the advice that he had given Stephanie several weeks ago. They fell into a comfortable silence, with Chris trying to suppress the thoughts of her from his mind. But as life would usually have it, the more he tried, the more he couldn't stop the nagging questions from popping up.

He could give her time, that wasn't the problem. He knew that, and he'd known that from the moment she had told him she needed to take time to do… well, he didn't know what she needed to do, but whatever it was, it wasn't what was truly bothering him.

"What's with the notebook?" Lance asked, startling Chris.

"Huh?"

"The notebook you're holding. Why do I feel like I've seen that thing before?"

"Oh," Chris said, looking at the notebook he had forgotten he was holding in his hand. "It's nothing, just something I write in."

"Well, yeah, that's what you do in notebooks," Lance said and Chris instinctively cracked a small grin. He looked over at Lance for a moment and was thankful that they were on talking terms, and he showed the gratitude by handing the notebook in question over to him.

"It's how I deal," Chris told him, watching as Lance opened it and looked through it carefully. He realized in that moment that Lance was about the only person, besides perhaps Stephanie herself, that he would ever willingly allow to read through what he considered the most personal thoughts he had about Stephanie. Anyone else would be the ultimate humiliation, scarring his name and his reputation among the boys, but he trusted Lance.

"Are these lyrics?" Lance asked, and Chris leaned over a little to look at the page he was pointing to.

"Oh yeah, they are, but I've got tons of lyrics in there," Chris said as he leaned back. "They're not all about Stephanie, but -"

"Most of them are," Lance said, looking through each page carefully. After a few more minutes of leafing, he closed it and handed it back to Chris. "It's cool."

"Yeah, sometimes writing things down helps. Women, they drive you to crazy things," Chris said, a wistful smile on his face.

"You don't think she's going to give you another chance, do you?" Lance asked knowingly, and Chris went from having a smile to sucking at his front teeth, before leaning his head back again.

"I'm not getting my hopes up," he said after a minute. "But I don't really deserve another chance…"

"Wow," Lance said, legitimately impressed. "You know, if we were ten years younger, I would've said that those words would never come out of your mouth. You were the cockiest guy I knew back then… thought all the girls owed _you _something."

"I still am the cockiest guy you know, because I'm still the best."

"But Stephanie doesn't owe you anything."

"Yeah… she's the exception."

----

"I should be in the main event, but thanks to your ex, I'm bumped from the spot that I deserve."

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "Yeah, sometimes I swear that my dad thinks we're still together. He treats Hunter better than he treats me sometimes, and Hunter's just smart… that bastard."

"Well, worse comes to worse, you can always get back together with him."

"I think I'd rather jump off a bridge, thanks, but no thanks, Kurt," she said as she glanced out of her limo window, looking for signs of Bischoff. Nothing yet though, and so she turned back to the files her brother had left her to take care of, wishing she hadn't let him talk her into this.

"So," Kurt's voice came through her cell, "How's the current love life?"

"Uh, none of your business?"

"Please," he snorted. "I saw you through the worst of it, so you can't just stop telling me what happens now. Details, I want all the details."

"Sometimes I think you were a woman in your past life," she said, rolling her eyes again. "You nag me more than my female friends."

"Oh, you have female friends?"

"Shut up," she said in mock annoyance, "I have _plenty _of female friends, I just keep you around to have some testosterone in my life."

"Really, cause you'd think Chris is giving you all you can handle… wait, wait, that sounded wrong," Kurt said, and in spite of herself, she smiled.

"Easy, let's keep this conversation PG-13," she told him, looking out her window again before glancing at her watch. He was running late.

"So seriously, Stephanie…"

She sighed, "Kurt, I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"Aw come on," he complained, "You tell me everything."

"I know, I know, but Shane's been hounding me and I just… you know, I just need to stop thinking about Chris, if only for a week, I'd just like to not think about him. And well, that would kind of require me not to talk about him."

He sighed loudly, "Alright, I guess."

"Thanks, I'm going to have to let you go though, I see him coming out," she said, watching Bischoff walk out into the parking lot.

"Cool, call me later stranger."

"Will do," she said, quickly hanging up. She quickly pulled out a small mirror she kept in her pocket and checked her appearance, making sure she looked good. After a few seconds, she put it back in her purse, just in time for the limo driver to open the door. She slowly and confidently stepped out, taking in the fresh air. As soon as she did, her qualms about accepting her brother's role that night all but disappeared.

For the first time in a long time, she felt good. Here she was, standing in front of the boss that had made her life hell for the last four months or so, but she felt good. She didn't answer to him anymore, and with her just recently starting to slowly mend the fence with her father through the pains of her mother and brother, things were looking better. Add in that she wasn't thinking much about Chris at all, and hell, she felt better than good.

"Stephanie McMahon, this is a pleasant surprise, thanks so much for stopping by," Bischoff said, giving her a fake smile. She could smell the brown nosing from where she was at, and it gave her some satisfaction as she straightened her posture.

"No, Bischoff, thank you," she told him, sweetly faking her own politeness. "You see, if you wouldn't have been such a jackass when I was working for you, then tonight would've been a complete bore. But now, I get to make sure that you're keeping on top of things for Wrestlemania, and you get to answer to me," she said with a wide smile.

"I already got the talk from your dad, Stephanie -"

"That'd be Ms. McMahon to you," she interjected, and he truly forced the smile to stay on his face.

"Right, I already talked to him and he said that Shane couldn't come tonight, and so he was sending you."

"That's right."

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that anything you need, just come talk to me. There's no reason why we can't be friends after all, right?"

She rolled her eyes as she turned back to the limo and brought out her files on top of her brother's briefcase, and handed them to him. He took them immediately, and she walked past him, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

"Let's go, Bischoff, it's the week before the biggest show of the year," she told him over her shoulder, hearing his footsteps right behind her.

"Absolutely, Ms. McMahon," he said, forcing the politeness through his teeth. She smiled at the sound.

This was definitely more her style.

-----

Trish didn't know exactly what it was about the sight that welcomed her when she walked around the corner that bothered her so much. Maybe it was the way the other woman was standing tall, walking confidently down the hallways with Bischoff trailing after her and trying to juggle a large pile of paperwork. Maybe it was the fact that Stephanie looked satisfied and content with her life, while she was miserable in hers. Maybe it was the fact that the man she had foolishly fallen head over heels for had chosen that woman over her, thus making her direct competition. Trish had never had competition for a man before, and anger slowly crept through her at the thought that it should change now.

But then she had to remind herself of one particularly important detail.

There had been no competition from the very beginning. And this reminder was exactly the reason why she was about to do what she did next.

Christian was sitting in his rental, parked at the far end of the parking lot. He drummed his fingertips on the steering wheel, checking the time and seeing that the show was just barely getting underway. Needless to say, he was in no rush to move from his spot. He knew Chris was out practically for blood, and that he'd be foolish to screw with him in that mentality the week before their match. And so he just sat there, contemplating how he could make it into the arena and find his locker room without bumping into his former best friend.

So engrossed was he in this, that he was scared half to death when a hand started pounding on the glass of the passenger side of his rental. He immediately went to make his escape and run if Chris was in another one of his kill or be killed moods, until he looked over and saw that it wasn't Chris at all. He frowned in confusion, his heartbeat slowly returning to normal as he leaned over and unlocked the door. He watched her climb in without a word, slamming the door shut after her. The first thing he noticed was that her makeup was stained from tears, and that made him feel a pang of sympathy for her.

"Trish, what's wrong? And how the hell did you know I was here?" he asked, looking around as if expecting Chris to jump through the windows at him or something.

When he did look back at her, though, she shocked him again when she pulled him towards her and kissed him. He immediately kissed her back, loving the way she tasted and forgetting about Chris for the meantime. After a few moments, she pulled away, and he looked at her in confusion.

"You were right," she told him, and he immediately knew what she was talking about. He slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I know," he said, waiting for her to continue. She brushed the tears from her eyes and looked at him for a long moment, while he just waited. He could see it in her eyes, could see that she was itching for payback. He had had the look himself so many times, he could easily recognize it in someone else. He licked his lips, wanting to kiss her again, but first, he wanted to hear it.

"You were right about Chris… you were right about everything," she told him, and he nodded again, his eyes locked on hers. A conniving look came on her face as she wiped her lips, and he couldn't help but smirk as she said the words he truly wanted and needed to hear.

"Let's bring that son of a bitch down."

-----

"I'm facing who?"

"Stevie Richards," the backstage worker informed Chris, who groaned and turned back to Lance.

"Why the hell didn't Bischoff book a match with Christian or something? We didn't have to go one-on-one, he could've picked random guys to tag with us, you know? You could've been my partner, Christian could've tagged with a hot dog vendor, everything would be peachy."

Lance rolled his eyes. "Who cares? You're facing him this Sunday."

"What the hell do you mean, who cares?" Chris said as he stopped walking down the hallways and gave Lance a strange look. "Do I really need to tell you why the hell you should care? What the hell kind of question is that man?"

"Nothing, never mind," Lance said, not wanting to get into it. He knew that any further pushing would result in Chris ranting, and once Chris started ranting, he could go for hours. He had already succeeded in convincing Chris that sitting in his locker room wouldn't take Stephanie off his mind, so he _was _somewhat getting through to him.

Chris was about to prompt an argument when his cell phone started going off. He lifted his t-shirt a little to get the phone off the clip that was hooked on his ring tights, and then he groaned when he saw the number.

"Trish?" Lance asked, and Chris nodded. "Yeah, I think I'll leave you alone with that."

"Thanks man, you're the best," Chris said sarcastically, watching as Lance walked off towards Benoit's locker room. Chris stood there and waited for a few moments, wondering if he should even answer.

But he didn't really have a choice. He couldn't possibly keep being an ass to her, and so he flipped the phone open and answered, starting to walk down the hallway.

"Hello?"

"Chris, hey," Trish's voice came through. "Is this a bad time?"

"Not at all."

"Listen, I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier," she told him genuinely. "I overreacted, and I'm really sorry."

He sighed with relief, glad that they were going to clear the air. "It's okay, I deserved it."

"No, you didn't. You and Stephanie, well, you've always wanted to be with her, and I think you two would be amazing together… I'm just really sorry that I kind of hindered you from being with her, you know?"

"No, no, it wasn't ever you," he told her, instinctively just wanting to make her feel better. "Seriously, I was a jackass, I should've just been more honest with you about how I felt, I should be the one apologizing."

"Wow, you apologizing?" Trish said in a surprised voice, before giggling a bit. Chris smiled, feeling like some of his heavy load was being lifted from his shoulders. He felt good for a change, and maybe that was why when he looked up, he could see a camera man filming him live on the phone. "Now there's something I thought I'd never hear."

Her words made him laugh, and something turned inside of her as she heard his laughter. For a moment, she wanted to back out, but she was in now with Christian. Her cards were dealt, and Chris had already made his move – it was a move that didn't involve her.

There wouldn't be backing out of it now.

"I'm really glad you called," he told her, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "I didn't want things to get weird."

"No, not at all… and you know, I really was thinking, we should be friends," she said, lying right through her teeth.

"Really?" he said, instantly brightening. Things were looking up for him right then, he was talking to Lance again, and things hadn't gotten too ugly between him and Trish. If he could now just mend things completely over with Stephanie, he would finally be able to say he was happy. Sure, he had lost Christian as a friend, but he hadn't ever been a real friend, and so that was a moot point.

"Yeah, really."

"Oh man, I'm so glad you feel that way, Trish," Chris said, feeling incredibly relieved. "I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now, how I really feel, you have no idea -"

That's as far as he got before Christian attacked him from behind. Chris stumbled forward, almost falling but not quite as he dropped his phone. He didn't have time to react before Christian slammed him face first into a steel crate that was against the wall in the hallway, making him fall on his back and hold his face in pain.

Christian looked at him for a brief moment, sneering as he bent down to pick up the phone. He raised it, even though he knew exactly who was on the other line, and it wasn't from overhearing Chris on the phone.

"Hey Trish, guess what?" he asked, snickering when he heard her screaming at him through the phone. "I just left your boyfriend in a position you're quite familiar with… flat on his back." He then dropped the phone near Chris, who was still writhing in pain on the floor. He walked away, his smirk on his face from a job well done. Worriedly, he looked over his shoulder to make sure Chris wasn't trailing him, and just for safe measure, he began to run.

He kept running until he got outside where his own rental car was waiting for him, and he immediately climbed in and it drove him off. He looked at the driver and smiled in satisfaction.

"Job well done," he said arrogantly, reaching out and tucking her blonde hair behind her ear.

She just smirked.

-----

"I'm fine!" Chris said angrily, shoving the referees that had gathered around him away as he sat up. He felt his nose, which was throbbing, before checking his hand to make sure his nose wasn't bleeding. He cursed under his breath, in disbelief that he hadn't seen that coming. How could he not have heard Christian coming?

He felt a strong hand grip his forearm and pull him up, and he was about to voice his complaint when he saw who the grip belonged to.

"Hey, thanks," he said, looking warily at Chris Benoit who was staring intently at him.

"You okay?" he asked gruffly, and Chris nodded.

"Yeah, I'll live," he told him, and Benoit nodded before turning to walk away. Chris watched him go before calling out, "Hey, Chris!" Benoit stopped walking and turned to look at him. "Good luck tonight, and good luck Sunday."

"Thanks Jericho, but I think you're the one that needs luck," Benoit said in his almost mechanical voice as he turned to walk away. "I sure won't need it."

"Yeah, you probably won't," Chris said, even though Benoit was probably out of earshot now. He stood there for a moment, before bending down to pick up his cell phone. He walked back towards his locker room, knowing he needed to get ready and figuring he could call Trish on the way to make sure she knew he was okay.

-----

Stephanie was trying very, very hard to avoid him.

She felt good, and she knew that thinking about him would only make her doubt herself, and she didn't want that. So when she heard that Christian had jumped Chris backstage, she had sent him help, but hadn't gone herself. She knew the effect of seeing him hurt, she knew it very well. It was why she didn't want to deal with it.

And besides, it was much more enjoyable to watch Bischoff squirm for a change.

"My father was wondering what you would think if we moved Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero to the main event," she said, lying point blank and just wanting to make him angry. And she had also seen something that had reminded her of Kurt, so she figured why not.

"What?" Bischoff said in disgust. "Absolutely not, Raw's main event needs to take precedence."

"Do correct me if I'm wrong, but last year, your main event championship match was… what was it? Oh yeah… second to Smackdown, that's right. That just so happened to be my show at the time," she said smugly, and he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Angle and Guerrero need to take a backseat to my main event," he informed her, and she snickered.

"Well, we'll see about that," she told him.

"How in the hell would those two even compare to Raw's triple threat main event? You've got Triple H, you've got Shawn Michaels, you've got Chris Benoit, I mean, what are you, blind? That kind of match can't be topped."

"That's what you say, but when Kurt and Eddie leave that crowd dead for your main event, my dad will ask whose bright idea it was to not put them in for the last match…"

"You know what, I need to go and make sure that everything is set and ordered for Rock's This Is Your Life thing for Foley, so _excuse _me while I go do real work," he told her snidely, and she shrugged as she sat in his chair at his desk.

"Go ahead, knock yourself out," she responded in the same tone, thrilled that she didn't have to take his shit lying down for once. He rolled his eyes and walked away, angrily muttering under his breath as he left the room.

She smiled and reminded herself of how good this felt. She knew, deep down, that this probably wasn't wise for her to get a taste of the power she used to wield around, but at that moment she couldn't care less. For that moment, she felt like she was back, back to her powerful and confident self, not the broken woman she felt like she was becoming in recent times.

She snatched the first paper she saw off a pile sitting on Bischoff's desk, and looked it over, seeing that it was the first page running through the logistics for the show on Sunday. She started reading through it to make sure that everything would run smoothly when a knock came on the door.

"Come in," she said, not looking up as she heard the door open. "Bischoff, if that's you, then I suggest you go and work on that segment because Rocky is going all out with it tonight."

"It was bad enough I had to find out you were here through Bischoff complaining about you," she heard a familiar voice say as she froze. "But you could at least look at me."

She did just that, giving him a cool look and ignoring the way her heart pounded a little faster at the sight of him. "Chris…"

"Yeah, I know," he said, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"You know what?" she asked, confused.

"Wait, what? I'm sorry," he said sheepishly. "Were you going to say something?"

"Yeah, just wanted to ask if you're okay… Christian's been on your case tonight, that's all," she said with a shrug, and he sighed as he closed the door behind him.

"I'm fine."

"You don't really look fine," she told him as he ran a hand through his hair.

She looked down and didn't know what to really say to him. She was trying to just not think about him, but she was stupid to think it could last. She couldn't really escape him, and maybe part of her didn't want to. She hadn't been planning on ignoring him forever, but she had thought that maybe some time completely away with him out of sight and out of mind would help her look at their situation later a bit more rationally.

But she knew deep down that she was just fooling herself. She didn't fully trust him and didn't know if she could go back to that after having convinced herself for two years that it would never work out between them.

It was a hard mentality to break.

"I'm fine as can be," he said slowly, watching her as she stared at her hands. He bit his lip, not wanting to overanalyze or be impulsive, but it didn't exactly seem like her time to mull things over was making her lean towards being with him. But he had to believe, he had to hang onto this little bit of hope, otherwise he wouldn't have anything left. He knew what that felt like, and he never wanted to experience that again.

"Good, I'm glad," she said, nodding and still not looking up at him. She hated how just being in the same room with him robbed her of that power she had felt only moments ago. Those pretenses didn't work with Chris – they never had. "So what are you doing here exactly, Chris? I thought I told you I needed -"

"Time… yeah, I got that," he said, and she noted how that word seemed strained when he said it. "I'm sorry, I know I should give you your space, and I will… I just wanted, well…"

"What?" she said, a little more bitterly than she would have liked as she looked back up at him. "What did you want?"

He wanted her. Was it that hard to understand?

He felt like saying those words, but instead he just looked at her and took her in. She looked amazing that night, and unbeknownst to him, he was blatantly staring at her. In his mind, he was picturing himself pulling her close to him again and feeling her body heat on his, and the thought damn near made him want to just walk over to her and…

"Chris," she said, feeling her heart pounding just a bit more at the way he was looking at her. He blinked a few times, coming back to reality. "What did you want?"

"Well," he said, feeling embarrassed, "I know that you said you needed time, but I heard you were here… and I just needed to see you for a little bit, that's all," he told her honestly, and despite herself, she was touched.

"Chris… that's sweet, but you really shouldn't be here. I really need time --"

"No, I know," he interrupted. "I know, I'm sorry, really, take all the time you need."

"Thanks," she told him genuinely, and he hesitated momentarily, before approaching the desk. She looked confused, feeling like the heat in the room was escalating the closer he came to her. He stopped a little before her desk and it was only then that she noticed he had a notebook in his hand.

"This is kinda long overdue," he said, giving her a small smile and damn near melting her resolve with it. "But… I think you should have this," he told her, handing it over. She hesitated momentarily but then reached out to take it from him.

"What is it?" she asked, and he just shrugged, already taking some steps back.

"It's just been my personal medicine these past two years," he told her, and she looked up at him just as he turned to walk back towards the door. She did catch a blush in his face right before he turned around, and for some reason that made this gesture seem even sweeter. He opened the door and looked at her over his shoulder, "You gonna be at the show this Sunday?"

She could see the look in his eyes, and she could read it like she could read her own name. She nodded slowly, knowing what he was really asking, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

He gave her a crooked smile and then left, and she let out a deep breath as soon as the door closed behind him. They had actually had a civilized conversation for a change that hadn't had any arguing or tears, it was strange but refreshing to her. She pulled the notebook closer to her, noting that it was really just a plain notebook, nothing flashy or anything to symbolize anything more important than it being some biology student's notebook. She wondered if she should open it, not sure of what she would find in it, but needing to find out what had compelled Chris to come in here and give this to her.

She flipped it open, half-expecting it to be some stalkerish obsession with her or something like that. She didn't know what she had been expecting, but this wasn't it.

Notes. Letters. Lyrics. She flipped through page by page, so many things to look at that they were making her head spin. Nothing was ever that long and overwhelming, and the change in styles was enough to show her that he really would just write a few things down each time.

Her breath caught when she saw that he had kept the note that she had given him in November of the year prior… or maybe in December? She wasn't sure, but she was stunned as she sat there and read over her own handwriting…

_Friends with benefits… maybe it's for the best. Don't get the wrong idea, Chris. I didn't regret a second of it. But I need time to think about us and where we're going, and I didn't want to wake you. But I'm sure we'll be talking soon._

_Stephanie_

And underneath was his writing,

_We were always meant for something more. _

She didn't know what it was about that sentence, but it brought a lump to her throat. She closed her eyes momentarily and stretched out her neck, not wanting to get worked up over this. The last thing she needed was for Bischoff to come back and find her losing her composure. She just wouldn't have it.

She continued flipping until she got to the last few pages, and noticed that in those pages was what seemed to be a letter. It was a lot longer than any of the others, and it was written in a finer ink, catching her eye. She folded over the notebook and leaned back, beginning to read…

_Steph,_

_So if you're reading this, it's because I finally manned up and gave this thing to you. I hope you don't think it's weird, but sometimes, you write and you just feel better. There were lots of nights when I just needed to talk to you, and I couldn't. I had a lot to say, and no one was there to say it to, so I guess this notebook took the brunt of it._

_I don't know how much time you need, and I'm trying really hard not to pressure you. I just want to tell you here, because I don't think I have the balls to tell you in person… but really… if you really don't think it'll work out between us, if you honestly believe it, then… I can take it. Well no, that's a lie, but I'm trying to make this not about me. See, Steph, I think we'd be perfect… but I can't be the only one who thinks that. We've got issues, we've got tons of issues, but I'm willing to work on things. If you give me the chance, I'll work on them._

_But I just want you to know that no matter what, I love you. I don't think the meaning can come across on this page, but I love you and that won't change regardless of whatever you decide. I'm really sorry for what happened between us, and I hope you don't hold that against me although I don't blame you if you did. Do whatever makes you happy, regardless if that's me or someone else. So long as you're happy. I've made you hurt for so long, that you being happy would make up for not having you at all._

_Always yours,_

_Chris_

_PS – Thanks for being my biggest inspiration with my music. I got random lyrics all over this notebook, but if you look on the last page, I think I scored a winner with that song… and it's thanks to you. I already have a copy of them, so next year when my next Fozzy CD comes out, I'll make sure to send you a copy…_

Stephanie smiled despite her tears, and she wiped at her eyes, not caring that she was ruining her mascara. She didn't know how he did it, but she knew that any kind of doubt that had been on her mind up until that point had been almost completely distinguished. Almost because they still had issues to work on, and she sighed as she waited for the blurriness from her tears to clear while she flipped to the last page. She wasn't sure if she could readily forgive and forget, but with time, she could definitely get there.

She looked at the words on the page…

_Looking over my shoulder at the road that follows  
What once seemed to matter now dust at my feet  
Memories whisper at the edge of perception  
Silent reminders of a life incomplete _

And all that remains  
Are the scars to remind me  
And all the lives I've thrown away  
And all that remains  
Are the bars that confine me  
To a past I can't escape

There was more, but she couldn't read any more. Her eyes were tearing as she remembered all the pain that she went through over the last two years over him, the pain she had tried to ignore by blocking him out of his mind, it was rushing through her. She took a deep breath to compose herself, before looking down at the bottom of the page to try and read past the lyrics.

_PPS – I miss you… just, whatever you decide, please don't cut me off. I don't think I could take it._

She brushed away her tears, closing the notebook and leaning back in her chair. She had at one point decided to drop all contact with him, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. She knew she had been foolish to even think she could go through with something like that. After all… she wouldn't be able to take it either. That sobering thought along with the lyrics she had just read made her realize that the answer was staring her in the face. It was the same thing she had seen in Chris's eyes, the same truth she knew that deep down, he knew as well.

Two years was more than enough time wasted.


	24. Where It All Begins Again

If there was one important lesson Chris had learned early on, it was that perception easily became reality. He was walking down the halls backstage in Madison Square Garden, his duffel bag slung over his right shoulder casually, his hair pulled back in a ponytail, his shades preventing anyone from seeing his eyes as he chewed on his gum. To anyone watching him, he exuded confidence. He gave a few guys he knew a nod in acknowledgement, his stroll calm, collected, poised almost. It was who he was supposed to be… someone in charge who knew what he wanted and knew just how to get it.

But his mind was elsewhere as he walked in the direction of the stage entrance. Deep down, he had questions that were left unanswered. The questions never left him, always there in the back of his mind no matter what he did, where he was, or who he talked to. They nagged him while he tried to sleep at night by himself, they came up when he was trying to work out, they never left.

Would things go back the way they used to be with Trish? Would he ever be able to forgive Christian and rekindle their once strong friendship?

He smirked a little. Those were the easy questions, the first answer being a perhaps and the second being a resounding no. If he thought up easy questions that required no real thought to answer, then the unanswered questions would reside, at least for a little while. And that's what he needed. He needed them to reside so he could focus on beating the living shit out of Christian. That thought was comforting, and he pushed all questions out of his mind as he stopped walking.

In front of him was a stand-up white erase board with the match order scribbled on it. He lowered his shades, his eyebrows furrowing together as he peered the list over, looking for his name. He found it, right after some convoluted fatal four-way tag team match, and right before Evolution's match against The Rock and Mick Foley. His match was third on the card.

His eyes skimmed the list, before naturally looking towards the end to see whether Raw or Smackdown had the main event. He wasn't surprised to see that the triple threat match with Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, and Triple H was the main event of the night. He bit his lip a little, feeling a flare of jealousy that he wasn't in that spot. Two years ago, that main event spot was _his, _back when things were good. He had been champion, had had the spotlight, he'd had it all.

Two years ago, things were also good in so many more ways than that.

His eyes eventually settled back on his match, and he looked at it for a moment before pushing his shades up the bridge of his nose. He walked past the board towards the curtains where they'd all be walking out from later, and decided he'd go and look around. It would get his mind off things he didn't want to think about anymore.

Dropping his duffel bag near the stage entrance, he went through the curtains before emerging on the stage. He lifted up his sunglasses, perching them on top of his head as he took in the empty arena, soaking it all in. He used to do this a lot when he first broke into the business, arrive early, or sometimes stay late and just take in where he'd been and where he was going. It used to be his thing he'd do every show, just him and the empty arena. He got to get away and think things through, and now that he was standing there in Madison Square Garden, he missed it. He missed those moments.

He found himself missing a lot those days.

It was only then that he realized that he wasn't the only person in the arena. His eyes narrowed curiously as he looked into the ring, seeing someone leaning into one of the turnbuckles and staring out into the empty arena. He could only see their back, so he couldn't make out who the person was. Whoever they were though, they were standing perfectly still, so still that he hadn't noticed them at first.

He made his way down the ramp casually, feeling as though he should for some reason. He vaguely wondered why, but he chalked that up as an annoying question not worth answering. He felt like walking to the ring and seeing who this person was, and so he was going to do it. The days of overanalyzing… he was putting all of that behind him, slowly of course, but surely.

A moment later, he was circling the ring towards the steel steps, already recognizing who the person was from behind. He slowly climbed up the steps, putting one hand on the ring post before stepping onto the apron, his hand moving to lightly rest on the top rope. He looked at the man who was leaning into the turnbuckle at the end of the apron Chris was standing on, and he lowered his sunglasses back on before stepping through the ropes and climbing into the ring.

He straightened and waited a moment to see if he was going to be acknowledged, knowing that it was impossible for the other man not to have noticed him by now. But he continued staring out into the empty arena, and so Chris turned and leaned his back into the ropes, looking out the opposite end as they both stood in the ring in silence.

Finally, Chris was the first to break it, "Tonight's the night, huh?"

Chris Benoit nodded slowly, one of his feet crossed over the other as he rested his forearms on the top turnbuckle, leaning into it. He was already dressed to wrestle, needing only to discard his shirt and have the bell rung.

"Eighteen years…" Benoit said solemnly, and Chris could hear the underlined hunger in his voice. Benoit wanted that championship, he had that desire and passion for it, and he understood why it wasn't him in the main event this time around. His own desire and passion had been relocated to something that wasn't the heavyweight championship, as much as it pained him to realize and accept it, that was his personal truth. "I've been doing this for eighteen years."

"Yeah," Chris said thoughtfully. "You're due, man."

Benoit looked over his shoulder at him, "You ever regret it?"

"Regret what? Getting into the business?" Chris asked, receiving a nod in reply. He looked away from Benoit, thinking about it. Yes, there were days when he woke up so sore he could hardly get out of bed. Those days when he'd be alone with no one there to help him, he regretted everything on those days. But if he had never gotten in, he would've never met Stephanie…

That made Benoit's question easy.

"No," he answered. "There are days when it's hard… but the things I've gotten out of this business…" he smiled wistfully, "I'd never give them back."

"I never regret it," Benoit said in his dry tone. "I loved every second of it… I'm making it happen tonight, Jericho. I'm winning that championship."

"I know," Chris said with a light snicker. "I wouldn't want to be in the ring with you tonight."

"Yeah," Benoit replied, looking back out and gazing at the empty seats of Madison Square Garden. Seats that were going to be filled with people who would rock this entire arena until it shook, just so he could win. "I wouldn't want to be Christian tonight either," he added.

The small smile on Chris's face disappeared at the sound of Christian's name. His small smile turned into a snarl as he thought about what Christian had done to him… at what Christian had cost him with the person who mattered the most to him in the world.

"He was my best friend," Chris said bitterly.

"No, he wasn't," Benoit answered bluntly. "If he would've been your best friend, he would've never done anything to you."

Chris nodded, not having anything to say to refute that. It was the truth, and he accepted it. They both fell into a comfortable silence, Benoit thinking about the opportunity of a lifetime that was his later that night, and Chris thinking about the only person he ever thought about. He didn't want to think about her, because doing so prompted those goddamned nagging questions that were driving him crazy, but he couldn't help it. Being in an empty arena again reminded him of the last time he had been in an arena alone… when Stephanie had sat down next to him and talked to him for a few minutes. That was the night he left her show, when he had practically used her for sex afterwards right in the Smackdown parking lot.

No wonder she was hesitant to even give him the time of day.

"How are things with Stephanie?" Benoit asked, startling Chris as his thoughts started to get carried away. He resumed his confident poise against the ropes, chewing his gum, even though he didn't know why he was bothering with Benoit. Benoit was a man who had seen him at his lowest of lows, and he knew he didn't have to pretend around him.

Chris sighed as he slowly removed his sunglasses altogether, before brushing away from strands of hair that were in his face.

"I don't know," he said, his voice strained as he looked down to the mat below his feet. That was one of the questions that had kept him up on a few nights, and he honestly had no answer for it. "I want her to be… there, for me, you know? I just… I want another chance with her, but I don't really know if she's going to give me one. She might want to just be friends," he said, wincing as he did.

"Friends are good."

"I can't be her friend," Chris said quietly. "Been there, done that… that shit doesn't work, not with us."

"Well, then you'd have nothing."

"I can't do that either…" Chris told him, not wanting to go through that again. The first time had been hard enough, but to go through that choice again would break whatever of him was left over the past two years. He could hardly handle the mere thought of it, much less experience it again.

"So the only acceptable option is to get together with her?" Benoit asked curiously, glancing over at him.

"I love her," Chris said, staring out at the rows of empty seats past the ring. Nothing changed in his tone with those three words – he might as well have been telling Benoit that the weather was nice outside. And yet, it was something about the expression on his face and the look in his eyes as he said the words, that made Benoit believe him completely.

Benoit grunted, turning back to his corner of the ring. "Women," he mumbled.

"Yeah…"

"Convince her to give you another chance then."

Chris closed his eyes, wishing it was that easy. But the thought of doing that prompted another infuriating question he had no answer to. He tried to ignore it, but it was there now, and he couldn't stop it from tormenting him over the fact that he didn't know what the hell the answer was.

How could he convincingly ask for another chance if he didn't think he deserved one?

----

"I'm glad you're all here," Vince McMahon said proudly, gazing at his immediately family along with Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman, respective Raw and Smackdown GMs. "This is an important show for all of us, and so I expect things to run as smooth as possible."

Stephanie rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to be in the presence of Bischoff. She caught his eye while her father continued speaking, and he gave her a swarmy smile as she gave him a disgusted look.

"Shane and Linda are going to be watching the show in the audience, what are you going to do Stephanie?" Vince asked as everyone glanced over at her.

"With all due respect, Mr. McMahon," Paul Heyman interjected to Stephanie's chagrin. There was always something about that man that she couldn't stand, he just looked like he'd stab you in the back in a heartbeat. He turned to her and offered a kind smile, even though it looked so fake to her, "I just wanted to tell you, Stephanie, that if you don't have any plans for the show, you are more than welcome to help me run the Smackdown portion of it, what with your expertise and all that."

Stephanie hadn't had anything specific planned in mind for the show, other than paying particularly close attention to the third match of the night, and so she just shrugged. "That's fine, I wouldn't mind, so long as I'm not working with you directly," she said with just the right hint of an attitude.

Heyman rolled his eyes, "Look, Stephanie, I'm only offering you the chance to help because I want Smackdown to absolutely shine tonight, and specifically, to outshine a certain other show," he added, with a pointed look at Bischoff.

"You want to outshine Raw?" Bischoff scoffed. "Please, no wonder you need Stephanie's help, just face it, Bischoff. You're the B-show, and you'll always run the B-show. Smackdown compared to Raw is crap… C-R-A-P, pure crap. You know what crap is, Heyman? Crap was ECW compared with WCW and the WWE during the Monday Night war, that's crap," he said scathingly.

"You know what?" Stephanie said, looking at Bischoff with that evil glint in her eye. "I think I will stick around and help Heyman, just to see the look on your face when my old show kicks your ass and steals this entire show," she said, sounding almost malicious as she stared down Bischoff. Her history with this man wasn't about to be forgotten that soon.

"Alright, I kicked your ass before, I'll do it again," Bischoff said snidely. A tense silence followed as Vince, Shane, and Linda just stared at them.

"Alright then, good," Vince finally said, sounding pleased. "I can't wait to see what you all do, now, let's get to work people."

"Lazy ass," Stephanie whispered to Shane who snickered. "You're just going to go sit and watch instead of helping."

"Sorry sis, got other things to tend to," he said, before pausing momentarily and adding, "And I believe you do too."

She didn't need to ask to know exactly what he was talking about. She nodded, knowing that she couldn't avoid him forever. Sooner or later, she was going to have to talk to him. She had told him she needed time, and that was true. As she followed Heyman and listened to him tell her what she could handle for the show, her thoughts kept going back to him and his notebook. That damn notebook that had kept her up a good amount of nights over the last week, just so she could read it and let it sink into her head that Chris had kept it for so long.

She had taken her time, and had arrived at a decision. She was going to stand by that decision, mulling over it every day and every night, before deciding this was best.

Tonight, she was going to make the slogan for the night, "where it all begins… again" come true in more ways than one…

---

Stephanie wasn't the only one thinking about giving Chris another chance.

Trish was sitting in Christian's locker room, bored and waiting for his arrival as her thoughts kept going back to Chris. Every time she thought about him, there was this feeling that gnawed at her that she was making a mistake. But then every time that feeling would arise, she would remember the time she wasted on him. He could've easily told her the truth so long ago, and instead he had strung her along like an idiot, waited until she fell for him, and then dropped the bomb on her that he was just using her to try to get over Stephanie McMahon.

The thing that got to her the most was the knowledge that Stephanie had been working for Bischoff for a few months now, and Chris had been horrifically vague when she had asked him point-blank if he had cheated on her… which obviously meant that he had. She could picture him smooth-talking her during the shows and then sneaking off to see Stephanie late at night, maybe spending entire nights with that whore without her knowledge. Or maybe, Chris and Stephanie both had planned her humiliation from the very beginning, and were going to walk out onto the stage for Wrestlemania hand in hand.

Or maybe, she was just overreacting. This very brash decision with Christian, this alliance she had formed, this was going to cost her everything with Chris. And as much as he hurt her the week before, she wasn't sure she was ready to deal with losing him completely.

But he deserved it. He deserved what she had planned out with Christian. He deserved to know that she had spent the entire week with Christian, most of which was spent in bed. He deserved to know that she, too, could fuck him over just as easily, if not more easily than he did her.

Didn't he?

She glanced at her watch and saw that the show was scheduled to start soon, in about a half hour. She sat there in silence for a few minutes, before standing up. She told herself mentally that she was just going for some fresh air, but deep down, she knew she was only fooling herself. A moment later and she left Christian's locker room, only vaguely aware of the buzz backstage for their biggest show of the year.

She was only aware of the fact that after that night, he wouldn't want anything more to do with her.

And that bothered her more than she would ever care to admit.

----

Chris was pacing back and forth in his locker room, a scowl on his face. He was restless, wanting nothing more than to get his hands around Christian's neck and teach that bastard a lesson. His fists were clenched at his sides as he started pacing a step quicker, still in disbelief that Christian had pulled one over him for so long without his noticing. He could have cost him everything, who knew how much time he had already lost with Stephanie because of Christian? His fists clenched tighter, and he couldn't wait until he got the chance to knock his former best friend (scratch that, the bastard didn't even deserve that title) right in the face. He had some fucking nerve messing with Chris's life like that.

There was a knock at his door just then, and he instantly stopped pacing and glanced over. He stood there for a moment, wondering if that was Christian coming to sucker punch him, catch him off guard like he had the week before. Well, Chris wasn't born yesterday and he wasn't about to fall for that again. He went over quietly and picked up the steel chair that was in his locker room, folding it up noiselessly before slowly walking over to the door. He leaned his back against the wall next to the door, clutching the steel chair by the legs and ready to dent the shit out of it over Christian's head.

There was another knock, and then silence. Chris was holding the steel chair so tightly, his knuckles were getting white.

"Yeah?" he called out, already anticipating Christian kicking the door in or something.

"It's me," a female voice said. His grip on the chair instantly lightened, even though he remained tense even when he opened the door, holding the chair so it was kept out of sight.

"Hey," he said, forcing a smile even though he was looking behind her to make sure Christian wasn't using her as a decoy or something. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, finally feeling the tension leave as he opened the door. "I'm just being paranoid I guess."

Trish hesitated momentarily as he went back into his locker room, and it was only then that she noticed he was holding a steel chair. He opened it back up, setting it down on the floor before sitting down heavily in it. He looked back at her, offering a small smile.

"You coming in, or are we going to ignore each other and pretend we never dated?" he asked light-heartedly.

He didn't deserve it.

Yes, he did, she quickly thought as she stepped into his locker room. She crossed her arms over in front of her, looking down. He had lied, he had cheated, and she wasn't going to let that go anytime soon.

"You ready for tonight?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"I'm going to kick his ass," Chris responded bluntly, wondering what was up with her. She was acting weird, but he figured it was because she was probably still mad at him and just trying not to show it. He also figured it would be better to pretend on his end that he didn't notice.

Now it was her time to force a smile, knowing that he wasn't going to get that win, "Good, I just wanted to wish you luck."

"Thanks, but I won't need it."

_That's what you think._

"So…"

"So…" he said, feeling this getting awkward.

"Have you talked to Stephanie lately?" Trish asked, trying to make it sound nonchalant, but she knew this wasn't a question she cared to have answered. There was another question, right on the tip of her tongue, but she wasn't sure how he would react to it, so she kept it at bay for now.

He bit his lip and looked down briefly, "Just for a few minutes last week… we're not really on speaking terms these days."

"Oh," she said, gazing at him and wondering why he was holding onto something that hardly seemed real to her. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay," he said with a strained smile. She knew he was lying, and that it wasn't okay, but who was she to pry any further? She swallowed, licking her lips as she stood there uncomfortably. "How's your back?"

"Huh?"

"Your back, you know, after Christian put you in the Walls…"

"Oh," she said, realizing what he meant. "It's still a little sore, to be honest," she told him, even though the reasons why her back was sore had little to do with anything that had happened to her in the ring. He scowled at that, looking at her sympathetically. She hated that, almost tempted to tell him not to look at her that way, but he beat her to it.

"I'm sorry for that, but I'm going to pay him back tonight. He's done enough damage to last a lifetime," he said bitterly.

"Chris…" she said, impulsively, her question right on her lips. She bit her bottom lip hard so as to stop it from spilling forth as he looked at her curiously.

"What?" he asked, wondering what was on this girl's mind.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he responded immediately.

"I need you to be completely honest with me," she told him, and he nodded, leaning forward a little.

"Absolutely, shoot," he told her in a friendly tone, trying to ease her discomfort that he could read a mile away. She stared at the floor a little bit, and he watched her patiently, waiting for her to be ready as he rubbed his hands.

"What does she have… that I don't?"

He blinked, not ready for that. He looked away from her, wondering how he should handle this. This wasn't a difficult question, this wasn't one of those damned questions that he couldn't handle because he had no answer to. No, this was a really easy question to answer, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was he didn't know if she could handle the truth, which was simple.

Stephanie was everything he needed, everything that Trish wasn't.

He cracked his knuckles, debating on telling her, before another knock came on his door. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he stood up from the chair, folding it up again as Trish cursed whoever was at the door.

"Who is it?" he demanded.

"Chris, it's me," came another female voice. Trish watched with burning envy as his eyes instantly brightened. He was at the door hardly two seconds later, opening it to find himself staring right into Stephanie's eyes. She offered him a small smile, and he felt something flutter inside of him.

"Hey," he said, a smile hinting at his lips.

"Hi," she responded, looking calm and confident – the exact opposite of what he was feeling. He opened the door for her.

"Come in, please," he told her, and she took a few steps forward before her eyes settled on Trish. Stephanie immediately felt jealousy course through her at the sight of this woman in Chris's locker room, and she looked at Chris suspiciously, but he was already looking towards Trish.

"Trish, do you mind…" Chris said, trying to sound polite as he looked at her pointedly.

Oh yeah, Trish thought to herself as her envy settled and burned inside of her as she looked between the two of them. He deserved everything he had coming, and then some. Without another word, she walked towards his door, but not before bumping shoulders with Stephanie.

"What the hell is your problem?" Stephanie asked, shoving Trish from behind. Trish instantly turned back to her, her eyes flaring.

"Keep your fucking hands off of me, you bitch," Trish snarled.

"Whoa, hey, easy," Chris said, trying to calm down their tempers, but he should've known better.

Stephanie stalked up to Trish and slapped the hell out of her, telling herself it was only because she had just called her a bitch to her face, but knowing it was so much more than that. Trish immediately turned and tackled Stephanie down to the floor.

"You stupid bitch!" Trish shouted, swinging at Stephanie as they rolled over so Stephanie was on top. Stephanie started swinging back, each swing for each kiss this bitch stole from Chris that should've always been hers. She was pulling Trish's hair when she felt his arms wrap around her waist and easily lift her up off Trish.

"Let me go, Chris!" Stephanie screamed as he struggled to hold her back.

"Stephanie, stop!" he said as Trish stood up, panting and glaring at them.

"You want a piece of me, come get some," Trish threatened, already crouching and ready for Stephanie to charge at her again.

"Get the fuck out of here, Trish!" Chris shouted at her, barely able to hold Stephanie back as she struggled with everything she had in her to break out of his hold. Trish glared at him, almost in disbelief, before storming out of his locker room. Chris lifted Stephanie a little and she kicked her feet, nailing him right in his bad knee. He yelped in pain, and it was only then that she turned to face him as she stopped struggling, which was great for him because he would've let her go in that instant anyways.

"What the hell is your problem?" she demanded, glaring at him as he winced and rubbed his knee.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you hold me back?" she asked, her eyes burning into him. "Were you protecting that whore?"

"No," he immediately denied, shaking his head. "It's just not worth it, Steph."

"Don't fucking tell me what is and what isn't worth it!" she snapped, and he sighed, not wanting to argue with her. That's all they ever did, and he was tired of it. When she saw that he really wasn't going to say anything to that, she felt her anger subside substantially as she brushed her hair back. She took a deep breath to calm herself down as she looked at his knee. "I'm sorry I kicked you," she told him genuinely.

"It's fine," he said, and they fell into an uncomfortable silence with each other. He ached to ask her to help him answer the questions he couldn't, knowing that she was the only one who could do it. He licked his bottom lip, looking down at the floor, before biting it and hesitating. What else did he have left to lose?

That wasn't a hard question. That was a stupid question. He knew he had everything to lose, but also everything to gain.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, not apologizing for the way she had just snapped at him. She vaguely wondered if she should, but she wasn't over many things when it came to Chris Jericho. Apologizing for him, and for her as well, it came painfully and only with necessity.

They were perfect for each other.

"I just… I need to know," he said slowly as he frowned. She already felt herself tense, and she knew they didn't have enough time to talk before she needed to get back to helping her father and Heyman run the show.

"Chris…" she sighed.

"What's it going to take?" he asked as he looked back up at her, practically feeling the weight lift off his shoulders. That was probably the worst question that kept bothering him. If he knew the answer to that, he would finally know what he wanted to do and how to do it. And only she knew the answer to that.

She stayed silent for a moment, staring him right in his eyes. He felt his mouth grow dry, and his palms were sweating now as he waited. Maybe she would say there was nothing he could do. That would break him, he knew it, that would completely dismantle his psyche and he knew he couldn't handle that. But he had to brace for it, and if it came to that, somehow, he'd deal with it and eventually he'd move on…

"You want to know what it's going to take?" she asked, and his heart skipped a beat. He nodded mutely as she stepped a little closer to him.

"Tell me," he said, almost pleading.

"Go out there and kick Christian's ass," she told him, an almost fierce look in her eyes. He recognized that look. It was the same look she had worn two years ago, right before his main event title defense against Triple H. The words were almost the same too. A slow smile came to his face at the memory.

Those times were so good.

But they paled to what could potentially be his reality after his match.

"I promise, I won't let you down," he told her honestly, and she gave him almost the exact satisfied look that she had given him two years ago before turning and leaving his locker room.

"Good luck, but I doubt you'll need it," she said over her shoulder just before leaving. He ran a hand over his mouth, knowing that he had broken so many promises to her over the last two years.

But this time, he was going to keep his word.


	25. Coming Full Circle

He watched them from the ring, his teeth grit together from the hatred that was stemming inside of him. He had never felt this kind of anger before as he watched Christian grab Trish's hair and kiss her in front of the entire world. Chris watched them, spitting out in disgust at the thought that he had once kissed Trish Stratus and had cared for her. Now he was seeing the truth, that she was a bitch that was using him and she deserved Christian. He clenched his fists together, hating both of them for costing him his third Wrestlemania match in a row. It was fucking humiliating, that's what it was. Everyone was probably looking at him now and feeling pity for him, Chris Jericho, the fool that had let Trish and Christian pull one over him this entire time.

He slowly rolled out of the ring, his fatigue from the match with Christian overwhelmed by the feelings that were raging inside of him. Lord help him, if he ran into Trish, he was pissed off enough to strangle her over what she had just done to him. Trish, his supposed _friend, _had just cost him more than she would ever realize. He cursed under his breath, wiping the sweat off his brow.

He was a fool alright, but the mistake wasn't in trusting Trish. The mistake had been making Stephanie another promise that was only meant to be broken.

"Tough break, getting dumped at Wrestlemania, Jericho," he heard someone snicker once he walked through the curtains backstage. He clenched his fists tighter, biting his lip so hard he could taste the blood in his mouth. He ignored the snickering around him from the boys, wanting to just get the hell out of there. He needed to get out of there, before he lost it altogether.

He bumped shoulders with someone, and he turned to them, his temper flaring, "Watch where the fuck you're going, you jackass," he snarled, shoving the person with one arm. As luck would have it, the man happened to be Kurt Angle, who already didn't like Chris for the bullshit he was pulling with Stephanie.

"Or what?" Kurt challenged, shoving Chris hard in the chest in return. A nerve twitched under Chris's left eye, and before Kurt could regret messing with a man who was just humiliated at the biggest show of the year, Chris tackled him hard to the ground.

"You son of a bitch!" Chris shouted at him, taking a swing as someone called for security. Kurt rolled them so he had Chris mounted and he returned a swing of his own, not about to let this asshole get the better of him. He grabbed Chris by the hair and lifted him up, eager to teach him a lesson in respect but Chris was fast and hit him hard with a low blow. Before the pain could even register for Kurt, Chris had already slammed him face-first into a steel crate that was next to them.

Stephanie ran in on the scene, informed by one of her stagehands that Kurt was being jumped by one of Bischoff's guys. She cursed under her breath when she saw that Bischoff's guy was none other than Chris. She hesitated only for a moment, her feelings having to take a backseat to the fact that Kurt was her worker and challenger for the WWE title that night and she had to protect him.

"Get them apart right now!" she shouted at her backstage technicians and security guards who were already seizing both Kurt and Chris and pulling them apart. It was hard though, since Chris kept breaking free and kept relentlessly trying to get to Kurt.

"Is that all you've got, you jackass!" Kurt yelled at Chris, antagonizing a man who had already snapped and lost it. Chris had about four people restraining him as he panted, his lip busted open and his muscles aching, but he was running on pure emotion and adrenaline as he somehow found the strength to pull free. When Stephanie saw him deck one of her own employees, her own patience snapped and she decided she would have to personally intervene, lest Kurt get hurt and she would be left with no main event.

She was braver than half of the people working for her when she stepped right in front of the raw anger emanating from Chris, blocking his path to Kurt. He hardly even acknowledged her, needing an out to release all the pent-up anger he had inside and in that moment, Kurt was that out.

"Chris, stop it," Stephanie said calmly, but her words were falling on deaf ears as she put her hands on his chest in an effort to physically restrain him.

"You think you're so fucking tough, huh?" Chris sneered, looking past Stephanie and staring daggers at Kurt. "You want to mess with me tonight, you son of a bitch, then come on!"

Kurt's pride kicked in and he tore away from the guys restraining him, and Chris moved Stephanie aside to meet him head on, and they were right back where they had started. Her patience and authority being challenged, she didn't take kindly and decided that enough was enough.

"Get him off Kurt," she demanded, her voice crisp and angered. Within seconds, they were both pulled apart again as Chris struggled against the guys holding him back. "Let him go," she ordered, getting looks like she was crazy. She glared at them, "I said, let him go."

Kurt flipped Chris off behind Stephanie's back, being restrained but it was enough to get Chris's blood boiling again. Chris clenched his fists, breathing heavily, "Son of a --"

That's all he got out before Stephanie slapped him hard in the face. Chris saw it coming too late, and he didn't even try to turn away from it before he felt his head whip to the side. A moment later and the sting kicked in as he looked down at the ground, his fists clenched.

First Christian, then Trish, and now Stephanie. Chris felt humiliated again as he stood there, everyone growing quiet as they watched them.

"When I tell you to stop, I expect you to fucking stop," Stephanie seethed, driving the knife right into what was left of his self-esteem. He spit on the floor, wiping the blood from his lip with his forearm as she turned to Kurt.

Chris wasn't about to stick around to hear what she had to say to him. He couldn't believe that she had just embarrassed him backstage in front of everyone as he rubbed the side of his face with the back of his hand, trying to rub out that sting.

But the biggest sting he felt right then was in his heart.

"What the hell is the matter with you, Kurt?" Stephanie demanded a few minutes later after the small crowd they had gathered disappeared. Kurt was sitting on a steel chair, holding a pack of ice to his jaw. "Why couldn't you just leave him alone?"

"He started it, I was just defending myself," Kurt said defensively.

"You're both like little kids!" Stephanie said, exasperated. "I'm trying to help them run this show, which only happens to be the biggest show we've ever had, and you're both back here getting into a stupid fight!" she exclaimed, before raising a hand when he opened his mouth to say something. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as he shut up. "Just… stay the hell away from Chris, Kurt."

"Alright, alright, sorry Stephanie," Kurt mumbled under his breath.

"I'm serious," she told him sternly.

"I know, stay away from Chris, I got it," Kurt said in a clear voice.

"Thanks, that's all I'm asking," Stephanie said with a sigh, looking around for a glimpse of Chris. She knew he was stressed out and had probably flipped over his match, but she wasn't exactly in a stress-free environment right then and he wasn't helping her by almost taking Kurt out before Kurt's main event shot against Eddie Guerrero. She couldn't see him anywhere, and she knew her slap probably hadn't helped things, but his temper was out of control and she had to bring him back down to reality. She walked off towards the stage entrance, deciding to just worry about work for now and deal with Chris later.

Chris slammed open the door to his dressing room, kicking it open almost off the hinges as he stalked inside. Lance was sitting on his sofa, his feet up on the table while he read a book. He looked up, took one look at Chris's face, and then took a deep breath before closing his book, bracing himself for the explosion of flying objects that were soon going to be smashing against the wall.

Instead, Chris went over and sat down heavily next to Lance. He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands, trying to calm down, but he felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown. He took a few deep breaths, as Lance wondered what to say to him.

"Sorry about your match," he finally said, but he was ignored. He reached out to grab Chris's shoulder in a friendly gesture of support, but he had barely touched him when Chris pulled away, raising a hand a little and shaking his head.

"Don't, man, just… don't," Chris muttered, covering his face again. He was fighting tears, he was so humiliated, betrayed, hurt, angry, pissed off. He didn't want to lose Lance, Lance seemed like the only person who was still on his side through everything. And so he was trying as hard as he could to maintain his temper, not wanting to drive away the only person he felt like he had left… since he felt like things had just gone to hell with Stephanie.

How could she just embarrass him like that? In front of everyone, she had just cut him down like he was her two-year-old son and she was chastising him for throwing a tantrum. It was beyond humiliating, and after Trish and Christian humiliated him in front of the entire world, there was only so much a man could take.

Lance didn't know what to really say to him, and he was wondering if Chris's reaction was all because Trish had turned on him during his match with Christian. Because if that was the case, then it was plain as day to Lance that Chris seemed to legitimately care for Trish. He must've to be so upset over his match, and that thought made Lance wonder if maybe he had made a mistake in trying to push Chris towards Stephanie's direction all those times.

But how could it have been a mistake if Chris himself had shown him that notebook where he had written down the way he felt about Stephanie? Lance didn't know, and he was more than a little confused over why Chris was so upset. He sighed, not knowing what to say to him. After all, what could he say when he didn't even know what was wrong?

"I'm gonna go," Chris mumbled, standing up and walking over to where his things were.

"You want me to leave?" Lance asked.

"No, I'm leaving," Chris said, his voice clipped as he opened up his duffel bag and rummaged through it, pausing only briefly to wipe his eyes with his forearm. He told himself it was so he wouldn't get sweat in his eyes as he pulled out some jeans, putting them on right over his ring tights.

"You're not even going to take a shower?" Lance asked as Chris pulled up his jeans, buttoning and zipping them up.

"I need to get the fuck out of here," Chris told him, trying hard not to snap at Lance. He needed to leave, he needed to go outside and breathe in cool air. If he could do that, then he'd be able to think coherently and rationally, and then he'd be okay. He pulled out a white wife-beater and pulled it on over his head as Lance sighed.

"Alright, Jericho, what the hell's wrong with you?" he asked in his blunt manner.

"Nothing," Chris lied, pulling out a fresh hair tie from his bag even as his hands trembled ever so slightly with the anger of what had transpired that night. Yes, he needed to leave, he needed to leave right now so he could forget this night had ever happened. He pulled his hair back and tied it as tight as he could, and it took him a little longer than it usually did because he couldn't keep his hands steady.

"You're such a liar, man," Lance said, a slight snickering in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm a liar?" Chris asked in a challenging tone, as he finished tying his hair before angrily zipping up his duffel bag.

"That's what I said."

"Fine, you want to know what's wrong with me?" Chris demanded, and Lance simply nodded. His calm and patience was what snapped Chris, who exploded, "Fuck them!" He lifted his bag in one motion and slinging the strap over his right shoulder as he turned to Lance, his left arm extended and pointing to some vast unknown. "Fuck them and their bullshit, Lance! I'm fucking tired of it!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Christian, Trish, Angle, Stephanie, fuck them, I don't fucking need them," Chris sneered, his heart pounding in his chest.

"You don't mean that, not about Stephanie," Lance said, in that calm and rational voice that drove Chris crazy. Chris almost snapped at him then, but he bit his lip, even though it hurt since his lip was swollen now thanks to Kurt.

"You don't know, man, so don't fucking give me advice when you don't get what I'm going through," Chris told him. "I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lance asked, his eyes narrowing.

"You heard me, I'm not fucking coming back, so if Stephanie asks you about me, which she won't, but if she does, tell her I said that, and tell her to go to hell too while you're at it," Chris snarled, slamming the door to his room shut before Lance could even get in another word.

He walked down the hallways, still hot over his match, over Trish turning on him, over Stephanie, over everything really. This was supposed to be his night, a night of vindication when he got the best of Christian, got Stephanie, all at once. This Wrestlemania was supposed to be his best yet, but he hadn't felt this bad since he lost the championship to Triple H two years ago. And even then, he had gotten Stephanie at the end of the night, so it hadn't been a completely crushing blow like tonight was. Right then, it felt like he was losing his grip on everything, and he just needed to leave. He needed to get away.

Everyone steered clear out of his way, no one wanting to mess with him after the way he'd completely lost it with Kurt. Or maybe, they just all felt incredibly sorry for him over being humiliated in front of the world. That festered something deep inside of him, that feeling of pity. Every wrestling fan probably felt bad for him right now, but he didn't need any of them. Fuck them and all of their pity, Chris Jericho wasn't going to be humiliated anymore.

He slammed the door to his rental shut minutes later, sitting in the driver's seat and finally taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes, covering them with one hand and trying to forget the feeling that he'd blown it with Stephanie. Because on a night when Christian and Trish had embarrassed him and made him look like a jackass in front of millions, the knowledge that he'd lost her hurt the most. After all, the sting of Stephanie's slap ran deeper than on his face. That slap took that small thread of hope he'd been clinging to that they could be something and shredded it to small pieces, and he had nothing to hang onto now. He felt like he was falling, that's what it felt like, like he was falling and he couldn't stop it.

He opened his eyes slowly, grabbing the steering wheel for a moment before turning on the engine to his car. He pulled out a moment later, not sure where he was going, but not about to stay there a minute longer than he had to.

_I don't need her, _he thought to himself as he flipped on his turning signal at the exit from the parking lot. The monotonous ticking of the signal sounded loud to him, but it was all in his head. That was it, everything was in his head. This need for Stephanie, it would pass. _I don't need her, _he told himself again as he turned and drove off. He would be fine without her, better off even.

At least, he'd be fine once he accepted that he'd be living off a lie…

* * *

"This was the best Wrestlemania we've ever had," Vince beamed proudly, and Stephanie couldn't help the huge satisfied smile on her face. "Everyone stepped up, from the wrestlers to the GMs, to my daughter, Stephanie," he said, turning to acknowledge her. "Job well done, all of you, and here's to cleaning up and getting ready for tomorrow night." 

"Stephanie," someone said, and she turned to her side to see Paul Heyman standing there. They looked at each other for a moment, before he stuck out his hand to her. With a glint of satisfaction in her eye, she took his hand and shook it.

"Thanks, Paul," she said, and he smirked.

"I still don't like you, just so you know."

"Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual," she told him, even though she was fighting the smirk from her face. He gave her a nod before walking off, and she was about to go wrap up what she'd been working on when she heard someone clear their throat. She looked over her shoulder and saw Bischoff standing there, like the rodent that he was.

"So?" he asked, that annoying smirk on his face. "How's it feel to be runner-up to Raw once again? Hmmm? Like old times?"

"I wouldn't be so fast there, Eric," Vince said as he stepped next to Stephanie. She looked over at him in confusion, especially when he put his arm supportively around her shoulders. "You see, I was very impressed with how Stephanie handled everything tonight, and almost with no notice. Don't you think that's impressive?"

"Well, of course, Mr. McMahon," Bischoff said in that brown-nosing way of his. "She did well, but even you have to admit, Smackdown couldn't compete on the same stage with Raw tonight."

"Well, that's nothing but opinion Eric, and the only person's opinion here that matters is mine," Vince said, his voice taking on just the slightest hint of authority. "And it's my opinion that Stephanie work on Raw as the new backstage coordinator, and everything will run by her now."

"What?" Eric gasped, his jaw dropping. "You can't be serious… I mean," he said, clearing his throat at the look on Vince's face, "I just don't think that's necessary for Raw, I think we have things well under control."

"Now you'll have them even more under control with Stephanie running things," Vince informed him, and for all the differences she had had with her father over the last year, Stephanie still felt a surge of pride over having her father's complete confidence again. "I expect good things from the both of you, I know you won't let me down," Vince added, giving Stephanie's shoulder a squeeze before walking away with that walk of his. Stephanie and Bischoff watched him walk off for a moment, before she turned back to him and crossed her arms over in front of her, a smirk on her face.

"Well well well, how things have changed, Bischoff," she said in a sickeningly sweet voice, and he scowled a little bit, hating that things would have to run by Stephanie of all people.

"This won't last," he warned her, and she laughed an almost evil-sounding laugh at that.

"You're damn right it won't, if by it, you're actually referring to your reign as GM," she informed him, her smirk growing. "You'd best watch your back, you never know who might be gunning for your job…" she laughed again before turning and walking away, her head held high as he seethed behind her.

Stephanie was on cloud nine, wanting to call her brother and tell him that not only had she gotten her job back on Raw, but she was practically going to be running the entire show. This night had been so good for her, with everything running smoothly on the show. She had been given one shot at the plate, and she had hit a home run. The smile waned on her face, however, when Chris suddenly came to mind.

His match had been near the top of the card, but she hadn't seen him around since his altercation with Kurt backstage. She had seen his match though, but she had stopped watching when Trish had slapped Chris. She had to stop watching, because if she had continued to watch, she wouldn't have been able to help herself and she would've ran out there to help Chris. Things might've mended over with her father, but she knew he wouldn't take kindly to her imposing her presence on their biggest pay-per-view to date.

Still, she knew that loss must've been hard for him to take. She knew he didn't take losses well, especially losses of this magnitude, and so she decided to go and make sure he was okay. Then she could apologize for losing her temper with him earlier, and they could right their wrongs and just move on with their lives. They just needed to move on, and stop this cycle of giving and taking pain from each other. It was old, and it needed to end. In her mind, she'd tell him she was willing to give him another chance, and that would be it.

She should've known things were never that easy.

She knocked on his dressing room door, wondering if he was still around. She couldn't imagine him leaving, since almost everyone was still there and most of them were congratulating Chris Benoit on winning the World Heavyweight Title from Triple H. She knew that Chris was good friends with him, so why he would leave before the main event didn't make any sense to her. She knocked on the door again, before slowly pushing the door open only to find an empty dressing room.

"You looking for Jericho?" a monotonous voice droned from behind her. She looked over her shoulder and smiled a little at the sight of Lance standing there.

"Yeah, do you know where he is?" she asked, moving slightly out of his way as he walked in.

"He left, I'm just here to get my book, I forgot I left here," he said, going and picking up said book. He opened it and tried finding where he had left off so he could fold the corner of the page to mark his spot. "I don't know where he went, but he probably just went back to his hotel room or something."

"Yeah… probably," she said, the disappointment clear in her voice. "When did he leave, do you know?"

"Not long after his match, I was waiting for him and he just came in and grabbed his things, and then he was gone," he told her, closing the book and looking at her critically for a moment. "He was really upset, I know that much."

"Great," she sighed, brushing her wavy brown hair back. "Just great…"

"Did something happen with you two tonight or something?" Lance asked cautiously, not sure if she would snap at him that it was none of his business like Chris had so many times before. If anyone's temper could top Chris Jericho's, it was Stephanie's.

"Well, I did slap him," she said regretfully. "But he was being an asshole, he jumped Kurt before his match and nothing was getting through, I had to get through some kind of way."

"Oh," Lance said, understanding Chris's temper better. It all made more sense to him now.

"Why, did he say something?" Stephanie asked, her eyes boring into him.

"He was rather upset about something, I just figured it was his match," Lance said with a shrug.

"What did he say exactly?" Stephanie asked, trying to sound polite but she really wanted to know. Lance hesitated, and that alone spoke volumes to her. "Come on, you can tell me, I won't hold it against you."

"He was mad and he was just venting, it was nothing," Lance said in his monotonous tone. "I wouldn't worry about it."

They both knew he was lying, but he wasn't going to rat Chris out and she didn't feel like pressuring him when she could just go to the man himself and demand answers. She nodded, accepting Lance's answer, but knowing that she still needed to talk to Chris.

"Alright, well, I guess I'll talk to you later then," she told him, giving him a kind smile before turning and heading towards the door.

"Where are you headed?" he asked, wondering if she was just going to go back to work. She stopped momentarily, as if wondering herself. She had been intending to help wrap up the show, but really, it was busy work that didn't need her there. No, she had somewhere else to be, somewhere she should've been all along.

"I'm going to find Chris and fix what I should've fixed a long time ago."

* * *

Chris squinted at the television screen over the bar, before downing the rest of his beer in one shot. He wiped his lips with his forearm, before signaling for another beer as a cheer rose among the guys watching the basketball game on the television. He elbowed the guy sitting next to him in the ribs, leaning over a little bit. 

"Hey junior, what's the score?" he asked, his voice slurred.

"I don't know, but it's tied," the guy told him as the bartender brought Chris another beer with a piece of lime in it.

"Hey buddy, don't you think you've had enough?" the bartender asked as Chris snatched the beer right out of his hand. Chris laughed at him before taking a drink.

"Just keep 'em coming assclown, stop asking so many fucking questions," he told him, and the guy backed off, rolling his eyes and figuring it wasn't worth it. He didn't want to cause a scene, even though he knew that the blond man was already pretty drunk.

And indeed he was. Chris burst out laughing when one of the basketball players missed a lay up, "What a fucking moron, I could make that shot with my eyes closed!"

"Yeah, then why don't you play?" someone asked.

"Because… I don't like the Yankees," Chris laughed, chugging more of his drink when he felt someone's hand on his arm. He looked over at the female who had sat down next to him, and he grinned at her drunkenly.

"Hi stranger," she said seductively, rubbing his arm.

"Hey baby," he slurred, looking her over and tilting his head. "What's your name?"

"Christina," she said, and that made Chris laugh hysterically as he covered his eyes with one hand. "What?" she asked, confused as he shook his head, still laughing.

"I'm Chris… you're Chris…tina," he laughed, wiping his eyes and raising his beer bottle to his lips. He chuckled as he watched the game for a moment, before leaning over to his new companion. "Basketball sucks," he said, this time bringing the bottle all the way up and chugging down some of it as the girl moved her bar stool closer to him.

"I agree," she said, her hand back on his arm. She traced the muscles of his arm that he was showing off by wearing a white wife-beater, and he looked over at her and squinted at her in confusion.

"Have we met before?" he asked, taking in her blonde hair as she moved her bar stool even closer to him.

"No, just met tonight baby," she said, lowering her hand and then resting them on his knee. He took another drink as she ever so slowly raised her hand up his leg. "I couldn't help but notice a stud like yourself here alone, so I just wanted to come and see if you were up to having some fun."

"I didn't come here to get laid," he told her, reaching for her hand and getting it off his leg. She looked shocked for a moment, before deciding that he must've been really drunk to resist her. She reached up to the hair in his ponytail, twirling her fingers in it while he laughed a missed jump shot. "What a jackass, he missed!"

Stephanie hesitantly walked into the bar just then, having gotten a heads-up from Lance on the bar since he and Chris had gone there the night before to mellow out before the big show. She pulled her coat a little tighter around her, ignoring the couple of guys who were shamelessly checking her out as she walked inside some more, looking for one particular man who was nowhere to be found in his hotel room.

And then she saw him, sitting at the bar counter with a blonde woman practically hanging off of him. In his defense, he didn't seem all that interested, seemingly more fascinated with the basketball game on TV, but that didn't help the intense jealousy she felt as she marched over to where they were.

"You look good tonight, Chris, that was your name, right?" Christina asked him, her hand back on his leg as he took another swig of his beer.

"My name is Chris, and yours is…"

"Christina," she said, and they both laughed. He was about to point out how similar their names were when she leaned in and kissed him. He let it go for just a second before pulling back and looking at her curiously. "What's wrong?" she asked him as he stared her down, studying her almost.

"I don't know where your fucking lips have been, get the hell out of here," he slurred, picking up his beer again and chugging the rest of it down as she relentlessly kept rubbing his leg, making her way back up. She wasn't about to quit, no man had ever turned her down, and she'd be damned to have it start now.

"Come on, lighten up, have a little fun," she told him, leaning onto him.

"I believe he meant leave him the hell alone," Stephanie sneered from behind them. Chris didn't notice though, his full attention back on the basketball game as he signaled for another beer. But the girl did notice, and she gave Stephanie a dirty look.

"And I believe you should mind your own fucking business," she said snottily, and that was the wrong tone to take.

"I'm not going to say it again, this is my boyfriend you've got your filthy hands on, now get away from him or I'm going to make you regret it," Stephanie threatened, her eyes darkened as she glared at the woman in front of her. The girl slowly withdrew her hand from Chris's lap, a hint of embarrassment on her face.

"I didn't know he was taken…"

"Get the fuck out of here," Stephanie demanded, pointing towards the door. This time, Chris registered her voice, and he looked over his shoulder, squinting and trying to place the voice as the girl got up and begrudgingly left. He looked directly at Stephanie for a moment, but he didn't exactly recognize her because he turned back to watch the game as the bartender brought him another beer.

He grabbed it and went to take a drink when it was removed from his hand. He looked at his hand, confused, before noticing that there was a girl sitting by him.

"Hey, that's the same kinda beer I had," he said, gesturing towards the beer Stephanie had just swiped from him. "I had it, here…" he showed her his empty hand, before laughing. "But now it's gone, isn't that so weird?"

She shook her head sadly, "Chris, how much did you have to drink?"

"Stephanie?" he asked, leaning closer to her as if to get a closer look. She could smell the alcohol, he reeked of it, and she moved his beer as far away from him as possible before standing up. "That you?"

"Yes, it's me, and you're coming with me," she told him, signaling for the bartender and giving him a few bills.

"No," he said, that anger he had tried to drink away coming back full force as he stood up too. He almost lost his balance, and he steadied himself on the counter as he glared at her. "No, get the fuck away from me," he told her, before heading towards the exit. He was stumbling, but he wasn't falling, and Stephanie sighed as she followed him towards the door.

"Chris, you're coming with me whether you like it or not," she told him as he finally reached the doors.

"No!" he cried out, turning to face her but stumbling back, right through the doors and falling on the ground outside. He laughed a little, laying there on his back as Stephanie stepped outside and looked down at him, crossing her arms over in front of her and feeling just a hint sorry for him.

"We're going back to the hotel," she told him as he groggily sat back up.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," he informed her, struggling to get back up to his feet. "You hear me, Stephanie? I'm not going anywhere with you!" he shouted, slowly standing and almost losing his balance before she reached out and grabbed his arm. He instantly pulled free, glaring at her. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked, not wanting to feel hurt but she truly didn't know where this was coming from.

"What's wrong… with me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as he looked at her. "I'll fucking tell you! How about, you slapping me in front of everyone at the fucking show? Hmm, or, oh, oh man, this is good," he said as he laughed a bitter laugh, "Miss 'I need time,' that was you, right? Right? Well you know what, I'm fucking tired of waiting for you, and I've decided that I don't need you anymore," he said, shrugging and turning to walk away. Stephanie looked at him in disgust before following him as he somehow kept his balance enough to stumble towards his car.

"I slapped you because you were being a jackass, Chris," she told him as he hummed to himself. Her words made him laugh as he stopped in front of a random car and looked at it for a moment.

"Is this thing mine?" he asked no one in particular, reaching out to touch it. Stephanie rolled her eyes and grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him over to where her car was parked. "What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded. "Don't you get it? I don't want to be with you anymore!"

"Shut the hell up!" she told him, dragging him forcefully behind her. "I'm not letting you drive the way you are, are you insane? I don't care how much you complain, you're coming with me and that's it," she informed him as he snorted.

"Oh, Ms. Righteous, where have you been all my life?" he asked, laughing as he did. Stephanie sighed when they finally reached her rental, and she let his wrist go. He looked around for a bit before his eyes settled on her, and that anger came back full force. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" he demanded, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Stephanie McMahon," she told him, and he scoffed.

"I'm sick and tired of you, you know that?" he sneered at her. "I'm tired of you and your bullshit! You're not the boss of me anymore baby, cause I fucking quit!"

"Quit what, wrestling?" She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, get in the car."

"I'm not getting in the car," he told her stubbornly, and she groaned in frustration, rubbing her temples. As if Chris sober wasn't hard enough to deal with, but him being completely drunk was almost overwhelming her.

"Chris, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you," she snapped, her patience running out with him. "Now listen to me for once and get in the fucking car!"

"No, you fucking listen to me!" Chris yelled, his face turning red as the tears he had successfully suppressed earlier were stinging his eyes. "You say I use you and then this is what you fucking do to me!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked in exasperation.

"I wanted to give you everything, and you threw it back in my face over and over again, and now I'm not good enough for you? That's it for us? Well fuck you, Stephanie! I don't fucking need you, I can't stand you, go to hell, I fucking hate you," he told her, even as his voice broke and he leaned back against her car, covering his eyes as he finally broke down in tears in front of her. Stephanie rubbed her forehead as he sank to the ground, leaning back against her car and covering his face with his hands. He wasn't falling anymore, now he had hit rock bottom and the pain was overwhelming.

She didn't know what to say to him, what could she say to him? She was sure he wouldn't remember any of this later, and it was only then that she realized what he must've felt all those times she told him she hated him. Yes, she had never meant them, much like she highly doubted he meant them now, but they hurt worse than she imagined that they ever did.

"Chris…" she sighed, kneeling down next to him.

"No," he said, wiping his eyes with his forearm. "No, I'm not good enough for you, I fucking got it, alright! I got it!"

"Chris," she said, her voice softer as she fought the tears in her eyes. "Why do you think you're not good enough for me?"

"I know," he said, closing his eyes and practically wincing, as if the words hurt to say, "I made you promises, I broke the promises, I lost tonight, I'm a fucking loser, okay? I don't deserve you, I'm just a loser, I'm sorry, Steph," he said, his voice cracking as he covered his face again. He cried into his hands, the pent-up two years worth of pain and frustration getting the best of him. Or maybe it was the alcohol that wasn't letting him hold back anymore, neither of them knew, but he was letting it all go.

Either way, the next thing he knew, her arms were around him and she was hugging him. He was drunk, he could feel it, but it still felt so good to him. He hugged her back, holding her tightly against him as he closed his eyes tightly shut, willing no further tears to come. But he couldn't possibly feel more humiliated than he had earlier that night, and so there were more that escaped him.

"I never cared about the promises," she told him in his ear, her own tears blurring her vision. She pulled back from him and took his face in her hands. "Don't you get it? Do you still not see it? I don't give a shit about the promises and the matches and all of that, I only ever cared about you," she told him, her face no more than two inches from his as she locked eyes with his reddened and blurry ones. "Get that through your thick skull, Chris Jericho, I only care about you."

"I'm not good enough for you," he told her, his speech still slurred as he laughed bitterly. She sighed, wiping the tears from his face and then using her thumbs to wipe them right from under his eyes.

"I think I'm the rightful judge of what's good enough for me and what isn't," she told him, before lowering her hands to his and helping him back to his feet. "Now will you please get in the car?" she asked politely, opening the door for him.

"Yeah," he mumbled, feeling dizzy and completely drained as she helped him in. She closed the door for him, and he closed his eyes, already feeling his head pounding as she came in and sat in the driver's seat. She looked at him and sighed, wondering how long he'd been keeping all of that inside as she drove out of that parking lot and back to the hotel room she was staying in. That wasn't something that a night of drinking would come up with, that was more something that two years of keeping things bottled up inside would bring up.

They rode in silence, Chris fighting his headache and his feelings of nausea as she mulled over what to do. She wanted so badly to tell him that she wanted this second chance, she wanted to just start over with him, but his timing for going on a drinking spree had thrown a wrench into those plans. She looked over at him, and decided that whatever she had to say wouldn't be said to him while he was drunk. He had to be sober so he could realize what she was giving him, and from the sounds of things, it sure sounded like he would appreciate a second chance.

"Come on, let's go." Chris groaned and shoved Stephanie's hand away when she tried grabbing his wrist again once they were at the hotel. Stephanie rolled her eyes and tried again, this time able to grab his wrist and pull him out. "See, we're already here," she told him as she helped him stand. He looked up and squinted at the hotel, before looking over to her. She wiped the remnants of his tears away, her arm around his waist so he wouldn't fall over and embarrass both of them and his own arm around her shoulders.

"I'm fucking hot," he complained, pulling out his wife-beater with his free hand as she led him over to the hotel.

"No one told you to get drunk," she told him, and he laughed at that as they walked in. Chris flipped off the clerk at the counter, laughing hysterically as Stephanie pulled his hand down. "Chris!" she scolded.

"What?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes. She was thankful that he didn't seem to still be angry with her, that was definitely her worst case scenario, that he would start yelling and cursing at her right then. But he didn't, allowing her to lead him over to the elevator. She reached out and pushed the button to her floor, needing to get on the elevator so she could get a break from supporting Chris's weight.

"Alright, this is us," she said as the doors opened.

"We're us?" he asked as she practically shoved him in. She leaned him against the side of the elevator, and pushed the button for her floor. The door finally closed and she sighed, closing her eyes and thankful this night was almost over.

A moment later, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt him wrap his arms around her waist from behind. His breath was by her ear an instant later, "I'm sorry for what I said," he told her, his voice strangely clear and almost coherent. To anyone else, maybe, but Stephanie could hear the drunkenness in his voice a mile away. But even she couldn't deny that it was said with a decent amount of sincerity. "I love you, I always have…"

"Chris…" she sighed, closing her eyes when she felt him start kissing her neck. For being drunk, he sure hadn't forgotten how to kiss as he moved to kiss her jawline. "This isn't a good idea, not right now…"

"I love you," he whispered in her ear, his hands moving to her hips as he went back to kissing her neck. She bit her lip, wanting so much to push him away, but she had missed this more than she realized. She leaned her head back a little, one of her hands going up to rub the back of his neck while he continued kissing and touching her. It felt so good, for a moment she forgot that he was drunk and just gave in to how good he could still make her feel.

At least, until he lost his balance and had to stumble to the side of the elevator to support himself. He laughed as she rolled her eyes, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her against him. She looked at him and sighed as he leaned in for a kiss, but she raised her fingers to stop his lips just before. He pulled back, a look of hurt and anger on his face, so she quickly said, "Not now, not like this."

He sighed as the elevator door finally opened, and she took his hand and led him out to where her room was. She waited until he had taken a few steps before going back to having her arm around his waist.

"I have a headache," he groaned, rubbing the side of his head.

"Oh well," she said, reaching her door and pulling out the key from her pocket. She opened it, shoving open the door before leading him in. "You'll crash here with me tonight, okay?" she said, leading him to the sofa where she let him sit. He immediately leaned over and laid down, resting his head on the arm rest as she took a relieved breath.

"Fucking Trish and Christian," he mumbled, his eyes closed as she kneeled down next to him.

"Yeah," she said, her voice low as she lifted his wife-beater up. He moved just enough to let her pull it off, and she reached to him and felt his forehead.

"I hate them, both of them, fuck them," he muttered, rubbing his eyes with his hand as she only then realized that he was still wearing his wrestling boots. She rolled her eyes and moved over, lifting up the leg of his jeans high enough to start unlacing one of his boots.

"They planned this one ahead of time," she noted, working at the laces as he snickered.

"Yeah, they got me," he laughed, shaking his head. "Those bitches got me this time."

"You'll get them back," she told him, tugging off his boot and tossing it on the floor before going to work on the next one.

"That's right, cause I'm Chris Jericho, I'm the king of the fucking world…" he mumbled arrogantly, and she rolled her eyes as she worked at the other laces.

"Did you hear that Benoit beat Hunter and Shawn?" she asked, getting his laces loose enough to tug off his other boot. When she didn't get an answer, she looked up at him, and he had his forearm draped over his eyes. Figuring he must've passed out, she somehow managed to move him so he was laying on his side, and it was only then that she finally stood up. She sighed, stretching out her back before looking down at him. She looked at him for a long time, before heading off to her room.

The feel of a cool and light sheet over him stirred him, and he squinted up when she lifted his head and stuffed a pillow underneath it. She was turning to go when he reached out and grabbed her hand. She froze, turning back to him.

"What is it, Chris?" she asked, wanting to go to bed after this long night. He swallowed, regretting all the drinking he'd done as he looked up at her.

"You know, how I said… what did I say?" he asked.

"You said a lot of things tonight…"

"Yeah… but, I said I didn't need you…"

"Yes, you did," she said quietly, her hand still in his.

"I lied," he told her, and she stood there for a moment before putting his hand back on his chest. This was Chris and this was his apology to her, and she was accepting them both. She leaned down and kissed him on his cheek as he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I know."


	26. One More Time

Chris could feel the light hitting him, but he held his eyes closed in an effort to snag a few more minutes of sleep. He lifted one hand groggily to his face, letting it cover his eyes to shade out the light. He stayed that way for a while, trying to go back to sleep, but it was to no avail. Sighing, he slowly moved to sit up. As soon as he did though, he groaned and held his head, a killer headache greeting him for his troubles as he fell back on his pillow. He cursed under his breath, wondering just how much he had had to drink the night before.

He rubbed his temples, thinking of the night before. He had lost to Christian, and he scowled as he remembered the humiliation of that. That was something that was going to stay with him for a while. Then there was Stephanie… she'd done something to make him lose it, but he couldn't remember what. But he was sure feeling the effects of it now, and he cursed his impulsive nature. Why couldn't he just have gone back to his hotel instead of going drinking?

He slowly rolled to his side, his eyes opening just enough for him to squint. He laid there a moment before it suddenly sank in that this wasn't his hotel room. His headache forgotten for the moment, he pushed himself up so he was sitting on the bed.

"Oh shit," he groaned as he covered his eyes with one hand. "Don't tell me I'm that fucking stupid," he said quietly to himself. Had he really gone and hooked up with some other girl while he was drunk? He wanted to say no, that he wouldn't do it even if he was drunk, but he remembered very clearly how he felt like he was on the verge of an emotional and mental breakdown the night before. Try as hard as he could, he couldn't dismiss the possibility of having slept with someone else.

He slowly lowered his hand from his eyes, letting it run down his face as he looked around, his head pounding. There was no one there, and there were no signs that anyone had been there to begin with. By chance, he looked over to his side to the nightstand by the bed, where there was something. Gingerly, he moved over to see a bottle of aspirin sitting on top of what looked like a note. He took the bottle and then lifted the note, rubbing his eyes with his forearm before reading it.

_I'm tired of this too… it ends today._

On one hand, he was relieved that he hadn't wound up with some random girl and stayed the night with her. But on the other hand, he couldn't stop his heart from sinking when he read the words that were so obviously written in Stephanie's handwriting. He tried valiantly to remember the night before, but he was drawing an enormous blank. Obviously he had made his way back to Stephanie, or she had somehow tracked him down… oh God, what had he said to her while drunk?

"Fuck," he hissed, throwing the covers off of him and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He lowered his head and rubbed it with one hand, looking down at the note in his other hand. He hoped he hadn't said anything incredibly stupid to kill any slim chance he had to begin with, but he couldn't squelch the fear that he had probably made a complete fool out of himself in front of her. Or worse yet, tell her something ridiculous in his angry and drunken state that he didn't mean.

But how had he wound up in her bed? He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but every single time he and Stephanie had wound up in the same hotel room together had resulted in a night full of sex. It never failed… a thought dawned on him then that maybe he had said something hurtful to her while they had sex. That thought brought dread to his stomach, and he prayed that it wasn't the case and he hadn't been that stupid. He couldn't see her forgiving him for something like that, drunk or sober. He sighed, looking down at the note again.

One thing was certain. She wanted to end it tonight, and that meant only one thing to him.

It was now or never to get her back into his life.

* * *

"Chris, I just wanted to congratulate you on your win last night," Stephanie said, offering her hand to the new champion. Chris Benoit took it, the corner of his lips rising in a satisfied smirk. "I couldn't think of a better way for it to happen, no one deserved it more than you." 

"I appreciate that," Benoit said as he shook her hand.

"I'm just happy I was there to see it."

"So what, are you working here now?" Benoit asked, taking in her sharp business suit as he let go of her hand and readjusting the championship that was resting over his shoulder. Stephanie couldn't help the smile that came to her face at his question.

"To Bischoff's chagrin, yes," she chuckled. "Everything is going to run past me now, so if you need anything, you can come to me."

"Good, I'll remember that," Benoit said as they nodded to each other, both turning to walk away. He stopped halfway though, remembering something and turned back to her. She was already walking away from him, and he frowned, wondering if he should ask her the question that was on his mind. He hated getting involved in these things, but he decided asking would be best, and so he went after her.

Stephanie was running through a list of things she needed to get done in her head, when she was startled by someone grabbing her arm. She stopped walking and looked over her shoulder, only to find herself face to face with the champion. The scathing words she was about to dish out to whoever it was that had surprised her like that died on her lips as she turned to face Chris Benoit. She folded her arms over in front of her, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Did you need something, Chris?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think you can help me with something," he said in his monotone voice. "I was talking to Lance earlier, and he was telling me he hasn't heard from Jericho since last night," he told her, noting the way she broke eye contact with him at the name. "Would you happen to know where he is?"

"What makes you think I know?" Stephanie asked, looking back at him. Benoit just stared at her like she had asked him if he wanted to sell his championship belt for charity purposes, but she wasn't budging, and so he gave in first.

"Let's not fool ourselves here," Benoit droned. "If anyone knows where he is, it's you."

He knows, Stephanie realized as she looked at him. He knew about her and Chris. She looked away for a moment, thinking about the night before. Yes, she knew exactly where Chris was, and it wasn't fair for her not to say anything to his friends if they were wondering about his whereabouts when she held that information.

"He's fine, he's at the hotel now," she said, and Benoit nodded in satisfaction.

"Thanks, just wanted to make sure he didn't go off the deep end after losing his match last night."

"No, he's fine," Stephanie assured him. "He went for some drinks, overdid it a little, but he's fine."

"Good," Benoit nodded. "You took care of him then."

She hesitated for a moment, letting his words sink in. She couldn't even lie to herself anymore… the words felt good to hear.

"Yeah, I took care of him," she told him.

"Good, thanks," he said bluntly, giving her another nod before walking away. But her mind wasn't on him anymore, but rather on the night before…

_Stephanie felt a strong arm wrap around her waist from behind, but she was more asleep than awake as she lay on her side. She felt warmer and more comfortable though, this familiar feeling coming over her as she covered the hand resting on her stomach with her own. _

_A few seconds later, and her eyes snapped open as she realized that someone had climbed into bed with her. She looked over her shoulder and saw blond hair, before groaning and elbowing him in the chest._

"_Chris," she whispered, sitting up now and getting his arm off her. He grunted, rubbing his chest where she elbowed him. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded, glancing over at the time and seeing that it hadn't even been twenty minutes since she had left him._

"_Trying to sleep," he mumbled, squinting up at her. "Come here," he said, reaching out to her._

"_Come on, Chris, you're drunk and I need to sleep…"_

_He laughed, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes. "I ain't going nowhere baby," he told her and she glared at him angrily before sighing._

"_Fine, be that way," she said, laying back down on her side and scooting as far away from him as possible. She was thankful that she always made sure to get queen sized beds, which was usually because she loved the feel of being able to take as much space as she wanted. She slipped one arm underneath her pillow as she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that he was right there within her reach._

_She could feel him moving, and she scowled, trying her best to ignore him as she lay with her back to him. He kept moving, God, why couldn't he stay still? No sooner had she thought that then she felt his breath right behind her ear, his warm breath sending chills down her back as she closed her eyes and sighed. _

"_Stephyyyy…" he said, and she could already see the drunken smirk on his face._

"_What?" she demanded, not opening her eyes to look at him and just wanting him to leave her alone. _

"_Can we have sex?" _

"_No, go away," she said as he kissed her right by her ear. She elbowed him hard in the chest again, and he groaned as he lay down right beside her. "I said no, Chris, so if you touch me again, I'll kick you in the balls and then I'll kick you out of my room."_

"_You're pretty when you're mad…" he said, fighting sleep even though he was struggling to keep his eyes open. _

"_Thanks, now please shut up and let me sleep," she whined, drawing her pillow closer to her. He was silent then, and she sighed, hoping he had finally fallen asleep. It was not to be when she felt him tapping her shoulder again. "What do you want?" she groaned, already anticipating him saying sex. Was that all he ever thought about?_

"_I just want to hold you but I don't want my balls getting kicked in, that would hurt a lot and hurting a lot would suck," he rambled, rubbing his head and trying to get rid of his dizziness. Stephanie couldn't help the small smile that came to her face. _

"_Alright…" she relented, remembering how good it felt before. He scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her waist from behind, resting his head right next to hers on her pillow. He breathed in, taking in the scent of her shampoo as he closed his eyes._

_Stephanie tried to maintain her cool and remember that he wouldn't remember much of this the next morning, but that did little to stop the butterflies that came to her stomach at the simultaneous feel of his arm wrapping comfortingly around her waist and his breath tingling her neck. _

"_You feel good…"_

"_Thanks," she said, knowing that he felt good too._

"_I love you," he whispered as she placed her hand over his. How things had come around… now he was the one telling her while drunk that he loved her instead of the other way around. She understood in that moment what she must've made him feel like, and why he dismissed her claims completely. She wouldn't have been so quick to believe him now had she not read his notebook, seen both the small and obvious ways that he showed he cared… she understood that now._

"_I love you too, Chris," she whispered back, her fingers grazing over his gently._

"_Liar…" he mumbled._

"_Why would you say that?" she asked, the motion of her fingers stopping. He muttered something incoherent, and so she simply asked it again. "Why would you say that?"_

"_Huh?" he grunted, pulling her closer against him instinctively._

"_Why would you say that me loving you is a lie?" she asked, loving the feeling of being in his arms, but feeling hurt that he'd say that to her after everything they'd gone through._

"_You're not going to give me another chance…"_

"_You don't know that," she sighed. He was always jumping to conclusions, always thinking things were out of reach before she ever did. But then again, she was the same way… that had to have something to do with the fact that they had been on and off for the better part of two years._

"_I'm tired of wasting time, tired of this, all this, I need you… what should I say to get another chance? Tell me what to say…"_

"_I'm sure you'll think of something," she whispered, waiting for him to respond. But nothing came. She listened to his rhythmic breathing, and figured he'd finally fallen asleep. Hearing and feeling his breathing was enough to make her feel exhausted for some reason as her body craved sleep. She intertwined her fingers with his as she started to doze off, her last real thought being how even now, their hands still fit perfectly together…_

She glanced at her watch, wondering what time he'd get there. She hoped it wouldn't be too late, because she was sure to be swamped with things to do when the show got fully underway.

"Stephanie!" she heard someone shout. She recognized that voice – it was a voice she would probably always recognize. She turned and looked over her shoulder, before groaning at the man approaching her with his arm in a sling.

"Hunter," she greeted in her business tone. "It's been a long time."

"You're working here now?" he asked as he walked up to her, chomping on his gum.

"Yes, I am."

"Since when?" he demanded, making her narrow her eyes at him.

"Who the hell do you think you are, talking to me like that? I'll have you know that everything runs through me now, so it'd be in your best interest not to piss me off," she warned him. He sighed, removing his shades from his head and folding them in his free hand.

"Alright, look, I'm sorry," he said, his tone indifferent. "I'm just pissed about the match last night. You saw it right?"

"Yeah, I saw you tap out," she said evenly, and his nostrils flared a little as he glared at her.

"Yeah, whatever," he said dismissively, brushing it off with his hand. "Look, that was last night, alright? I wasn't at the top of my game."

She laughed heartedly at that, "Yeah, okay… still don't take defeat very well, huh?"

"Not when I was screwed," he informed her.

"How the hell were you screwed when you tapped out?"

"One match in one night doesn't mean anything," he told her angrily. She sighed, knowing that they could argue all night long and never get anywhere. It was the perfect throwback to her failed marriage.

"Look, I'm really busy and I don't have time to argue with you right now… did you have a point?" she asked, an edge to her tone.

"Yeah, I want a rematch, I went to Bischoff but he told me to find you," he said, slipping his sunglasses back on.

"He did, did he?" Stephanie asked, smirking at the visual of Bischoff's face when he must've said those words.

"Yes, he did, now cut the crap, Stephanie," Hunter ordered. "If you've got the power to do it, book me my goddamned rematch for my title."

"First of all, I _don't _have the authority to book championship matches, much less Wrestlemania rematches," she told him as she stared him down. "And second of all, you're not getting a rematch tonight anyways because my dad told me earlier today that no championship matches are being made tonight."

"That's a crock of shit and you know it, now give me my rematch," he ordered again, raising his voice.

"Excuse me, but are you deaf? Did Benoit knock the hearing out of you last night along with the use of your arm?" she asked as he glared at her. She smirked slightly, knowing she was hitting a nerve, "I said, you're not getting your rematch tonight. And if you keep hounding me like the annoying prick I know you can be, then I'll be forced to have security escort you right out of this arena."

He looked away, closing his eyes to regain control of his temper. Finally, after a deep breath, he looked back at her and scoffed at her triumphant expression.

"Fine, then at least give me time at the top of the show," he ordered, and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll give it to you."

"Fine," he said stubbornly, reminding her of a sulking child as he turned and walked away, all the while muttering under his breath, "Damn bitch."

"The sentiment is mutual," she called out to him sweetly, before looking at her watch again. The show was scheduled to start in a little less than a half hour, and she hadn't seen any signs of Chris yet. She wondered where he could possibly be as she walked over in the direction of Bischoff's office. Someone handed her a schedule for the show as she walked, and she looked it over, all the while wondering in the back of her mind what was taking him so long.

* * *

"Fuck," Chris said angrily as he lifted the ticket under the windshield of his rental. He angrily got into his car, frustrated that it had taken him so long to remember the bar he had driven to the night before, and irritated that his headache still hadn't disappeared. And now on top of all of that, he had a ticket under his name. He started the car before leaning over and reaching into the glove compartment. He shoved the ticket in and dug around in there, finally finding his cell phone. Straightening in his seat, he saw that he had more than a few missed calls… some from Lance, one from Benoit, but all the rest were from Trish. 

He scowled when he saw her name before dialing Lance's number. He glanced at the time and cursed under his breath as he pulled out of his parking spot, readjusting the rear-view mirror as he set out to drive to the arena.

"Hello?"

"Lance, hey man, it's me."

"Jericho, where've you been? I thought you were going to be there for the after party for Benoit," Lance droned. "You left me there like an idiot."

"Sorry, I just had to leave, think things over," Chris said, still pissed that Trish had had the audacity to call him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, show's about to start, where are you?"

"I'm on my way… uh, by any chance, you wouldn't happened to have seen Stephanie around, would you?" he asked hesitantly.

"I haven't seen her around, but Benoit saw her, so she's here," Lance said.

"Oh," Chris answered, his thoughts wandering to what he could say to her tonight. All of a sudden, he wished she wasn't there, then he'd have more time to think. He needed more time to think because at that point in time, his headache was only getting worse.

"Yeah, she's running the show," Lance informed him.

"What?" Chris asked in surprise. "What do you mean she's running the show?"

"I don't know, that's what Benoit said, said everything goes through her now," Lance said as he shrugged. Chris sighed heavily, wondering how these things happened to him. How the hell could he work there if she wanted to end things with him? It was Smackdown all over again…

"Alright, well, I'm gonna let you go because I'm driving right now and I'd like to make it there in one piece," Chris said, looking around and making sure he didn't get pulled over. Getting another ticket for talking on his cell phone, or better yet, trashing his rental and having to foot that bill would be the cherry on what was already a horrible day.

"Alright, oh, wait, I just wanted to tell you…"

"What?" Chris sighed, already expecting bad news.

"Trish and Christian are around and they're all over each other, it's disgusting but I wanted to let you know so you know what to expect," Lance said.

"Thanks," Chris mumbled, horrible visuals in his mind of those two making out, "I'm gonna go now."

"Okay, later Jericho."

"Later," Chris said, hanging up and tossing his phone into the passenger seat.

He drove in silence for a few moments, something he didn't do that often. He usually carried his music with him to blast it and keep himself entertained, but he couldn't remember the last time he had done that. He felt like reaching for his phone and calling Stephanie, but he didn't know what to say. It would probably be best to talk to her in person anyways.

After all, he'd come too far now to get it all squared away over the phone.

* * *

Stephanie's lip curled back in disgust as she stepped out of her new office and was greeted by the sight of Christian and Trish walking past, his arm draped over her shoulder. They were both laughing, and she had a good idea what their source of amusement was. She narrowed her eyes as she stared at them, wishing Chris was there. Had he been there, she would've pulled him to her and kissed the hell out of him so Trish could see. She was sure that Chris felt betrayed by them, but she was also sure that she could help him move on rather quickly… 

Trish felt someone's eyes on her and she looked around, her eyes finally settling on Stephanie. Trish sneered at her before turning back to Christian, who didn't even notice. Stephanie shook her head, not wanting to even bother with them right then. The show was already underway and she had a million and one things she needed to make sure were being taken care of. Dealing with Trish and Christian could be done at a later time, preferably with Chris…

While the thoughts of revenge on his behalf were running through Stephanie's mind, Chris was slowly walking into the backstage area, his duffel bag from his car hanging from his hand, even though he was pretty much dressed to wrestle already. He truly did not want to be there though, knowing that he'd have to see Trish and Christian in some capacity, and he didn't know what he was capable of doing to them. If it wasn't for Stephanie being there, he would've turned around after his phone call with Lance and gone back to his hotel room… _his _room, not Stephanie's.

He could hear the dull cheering of the fans, being drowned out by all the activity of the backstage area. He didn't care though, he felt miserable physically from his hangover and he felt completely drained emotionally. It wasn't the way he wanted to feel knowing he'd have to fight for another chance with Stephanie later.

Needless to say, Todd Grisham approaching him at that instant might not have been the wisest idea.

"Chris Jericho," he looked up when he heard his name and scowled at the sight of Grisham, "I just wanted to get your thoughts after Trish Stratus betrayed you last night at Wrestlemania."

Chris glared at him for a moment, feeling the cameras on him. He resisted the urge to knock the shit out of Todd Grisham and then the camera man, deciding to curb his anger and frustration for the people in his life that deserved it for a change. Instead, he turned and walked away, acknowledging neither the camera nor Grisham. His head was hurting, his body was aching, and the last thing he needed was for someone to try and shove a microphone in his face and ask about Trish Stratus. He didn't need any of it.

Stephanie sighed when she saw this on the monitor while they went to commercial break. That's all she needed, Chris to be in a miserable mood that night. She removed the headset, letting it hang off her neck as she saw Todd Grisham walking past.

"Hey Todd," she called out to him, motioning him over. "Who told you to try and interview Chris Jericho?"

"Eric Bischoff," he answered, and she rolled her eyes.

"Look, next time, you come to _me _before you go and try and get an interview, alright?" she ordered. "You're lucky Jericho didn't slam you into that wall. He's not in a good mood, in case you couldn't tell."

"Yeah," he agreed politely, knowing she was right, "I'll clear it by you next time."

"Thanks," she said, turning away from him and slipping her headset back on. "Alright, gentlemen, are we on schedule?"

"Yeah, we're on in about three minutes."

"Okay," she said, looking down at her clipboard and seeing that Chris was scheduled next in a match. She looked to see who he was facing, and saw that it was none other than Matt Hardy. She felt a tinge bad for him to be meeting Chris in the mood he was in, but she couldn't change matches. She wasn't that much in control of things.

Chris saw her then, and for a moment, forgot how miserable he felt. He ran a hand over his mouth, watching her read over her clipboard while she gave orders to the stagehands around her. He sighed, wanting to walk over but not sure if he should bother her. But, he needed to know when his match was scheduled for, and it was either ask Stephanie or find Bischoff… not much of a choice for him.

"No, absolutely not," she ordered into her headset, not seeing him approaching. "Well you tell Bischoff that Booker and Rob are booked after my dad gets on the air in the second hour, _not _in the first… I don't care what he says, that's the order we got and that's what we're going to work… with," she finished, finally lifting her head to see Chris standing several feet in front of her. He gave her a short wave, and she noted that he looked like he was exhausted. She sighed, "Look, just get it done, I've got other things I need to take care of," she ordered, switching off her headset and lowering it to hang around her neck again as she looked at Chris. Neither said anything for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hi," he finally said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hi," she answered. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," he said, lowering his hand and his gaze.

"Did you get my note?" she asked, and he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes on the floor.

"Yeah," he finally said, not knowing what else to say about that. He knew she wanted to end it with him, he knew it, but he didn't know how to change her mind. What could he say that he hadn't already said?

"Uh," he cleared his throat hesitantly, "You know, about last night…"

Her phone rang just then, and she lifted a finger to him, turning slightly to answer it.

"Hello?" she asked, looking at her watch and seeing they only had a minute left before they were back on the air. Chris looked at her almost nostalgically, before glancing over and seeing that he just so happened to be scheduled next on the card. He groaned, not wanting to do this as he looked back at Stephanie, but she seemed to have forgotten he was even there.

"Stephanie, how are things?"

"Great Dad, where are you?" she asked, looking at her watch. She glanced at Chris and his heart skipped a beat, thinking that she was going to tell him something.

Instead, she pointed to the erase board that he had already seen, silently telling him he was up next. He nodded to her and she turned away from him completely.

"I'm on my way, I just wanted to make sure things were running smoothly."

"Yes, they are, we're all ready for you to get here, I got you time at the top of the second hour to give your announcement," she said. Chris stood there for a moment longer, before slowly walking away from her and towards the gorilla position. He glanced back at her, but she hadn't even noticed that he had left. But why should she have noticed when she didn't want anything else to do with him? He sighed before leaving and getting ready for his match.

"Good, excellent," Vince said, "I'm very eager to see how you're running things."

"Thanks Dad, now I have to let you go because we're coming back on live, I'll see you when you get here."

"Alright, see you in a bit," he said, before they both hung up. For a second, she forgot what she had been doing before he called, before remembering that she had been talking to Chris. She looked around, but couldn't see him anywhere. She was going to look for him when a stagehand came by and got her attention, and she sighed, knowing Chris would just have to wait.

Chris sat by himself on a steel folding chair next to the entrance, his eyes on the floor as he waited for his cue to go on stage. He was cracking his knuckles, feeling grateful that he had a match. He had a lot of pent up frustration from everything, and he needed to let it go. Since Kurt was a Smackdown guy, a match on Raw was the best thing for him right then. He needed a match in a bad way, to at least get his mind temporarily off Stephanie.

He knew that eventually they were going to talk. He didn't know what to say though, and he hated feeling that way. He was a man who prided himself on knowing exactly what to say and when to say it, but that got shot to hell when he was around her. The anticipation of this talk was killing him, especially because he knew what the outcome was going to be. It almost made him want to avoid this talk because it would mean postponing having to hear her say that she didn't want him and that they were over.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair and running both hands back through his hair. Why the hell did she have to do these things to him?

"That's you, Jericho," someone said as his countdown hit. He didn't move, knowing he had a moment before he had to walk out for his match. He closed his eyes, willing his headache away, willing all thoughts of Stephanie away, at least for the next ten minutes…

"I don't care what you think will be more convenient for you," Stephanie seethed into her headset as she watched Chris's countdown hit on the monitors near her, "I'm putting Booker and RVD in the _second _hour, no matter what your opinion is, Bischoff."

"Look, _Stephanie,_" Bischoff said sarcastically from the other end. "This show was running just fine without you before, and I think your father would be just as well suited to go _after _the match than before. That was the original plan."

"Well, looks like the plan's been scrapped," Stephanie told him matter-of-factly as she watched Chris's entrance. She saw the look on his face, and she knew something was bothering him. He was more transparent than he thought… at least to her he was.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are," Bischoff said angrily through her headset. "You think that just because you're _Daddy's little girl _that you can just waltz on in here and change my show, well things don't work like --"

She hit the switch on the side of her headset, turning it off as she lowered them, sighing as she did. She liked it much better when she was on Smackdown and wasn't ever questioned. She watched Chris on the screen, watched the way he attacked Matt Hardy wildly and without abandon. She winced, once again feeling sorry for Matt. Wrong place, wrong time for the older Hardy brother.

"He's damaged goods, you know," someone said from behind her. She sucked at her teeth, not taking her eyes off the screen. "I made damn sure of that…"

"I suggest you get the hell away from me," Stephanie warned as Trish laughed.

"Does the truth hurt? Look at him, look at how upset he is," Trish said, stepping closer until she was right next to Stephanie. She snickered as she watched him on the screen, as Stephanie folded her arms over in front of her, drumming her fingertips on her arm. "You know why he's upset?"

"No, enlighten me," Stephanie said sarcastically.

"Because he woke up this morning realizing the huge mistake he made… I mean, let's be serious Stephanie, who would in their _right _mind pick you over me?" Trish asked smugly. "I mean, look at him, look at how distraught he is… I bet you I'm on his mind."

Stephanie sucked at her teeth again, this time in an effort not to laugh. "Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that."

"I know you two have… this… _thing _for each other, that's fine," Trish said with a carefree shrug. "You can have him, I'm giving him over to you." This time Stephanie couldn't contain the snicker that escaped her. Trish glared at her, "What's so funny?"

Stephanie watched Chris on the screen, ignoring Trish as she watched how he was flipping out in his match. She wondered momentarily why he was always pissed off all the time, before smiling a little. They complimented each other perfectly.

"Last time I checked," Stephanie said knowingly, "You can't give something away that you never had in the first place."

Trish felt like Stephanie had just used a knife to open an old wound, and for a moment remembered her pain over the last several weeks when Chris had slowly but surely slipped out of her fingers for good. Her momentary pain was covered by immediate anger, but she didn't have the right words for a good comeback. Did a good comeback even exist for Trish? She sneered and turned, walking off to find Christian.

Stephanie just chuckled to herself as she raised her headset back again, knowing that Trish wouldn't have a comeback to that. If anyone knew the truth well, it was Trish. Trish knew and understood it better than anyone save Chris and Stephanie herself.

They belonged together.

Chris angrily threw his bags in his car minutes after his match, breathing heavily and knowing he had snapped on Matt Hardy. He knew it, and a small part of him felt bad, but the rest of him felt good… but not good enough. No, it wasn't enough, and he decided that he was going to leave. He needed to leave and clear his mind somehow. Drinking wasn't his answer tonight, he wasn't going to make that mistake twice.

He drove for a long time as he debated what he should do. The situation with Stephanie was ridiculous, and he was tired of it, but what could he do? She was the one holding the playing cards, not him. He had made his mistakes, sure, but he had given it all back to her, hadn't he?

He pulled over into an empty parking lot of a store that looked like it was still being built. He shifted the gears to park before turning on the radio and reclining his seat. Resting one arm behind his head and the other across his stomach, he closed his eyes and just listened to the music coming through. It was mellow, more mellow than he usually cared for, but on this night it was perfect for him. Slowly, he felt himself start to cool down in more ways than one.

She was going to leave him for good, he was sure of it, and so he just had to brace himself for it. He wondered if maybe he could talk to Heyman and jump ship to Smackdown. He knew he'd just be running away, but really, it was either stick on Raw and be under Stephanie's reign while watching Christian and Trish make out every chance he got, or it was go to Smackdown and kick ass, get back to who he used to be.

The more he thought about it, the more appealing it sounded. Smackdown would give him the chance to start over, much like Raw had two years ago. He had worked for Heyman before in ECW, and he had absolutely loved it there. It was gritty, filled with hard kickass action, nothing but blood, sweat, and tears… it was amazing, and he knew he'd love to get back to that. Trish had damn near ruined the reputation he had spent the better part of fourteen years building, and maybe it was due time that he rebuild it.

At what expense though?

He slowly opened his eyes, knowing he was only fooling himself. He knew he'd rather suck it up and hurt every Monday night than go without seeing her for months… he'd gone through that before and didn't want to do it again. He snickered slightly at the thought that two years ago, he had just jumped in and jumped ship to get away from her. He remembered the way his tears had burned and not let him sleep at all that night. He remembered feeling like he had lost something important the next morning when he woke up alone. He remembered the regret eating him alive for months afterwards while he pretended to smile and be happy to be on Raw with his friends.

He remembered his mistake well.

And he wasn't about to make it again.

* * *

Stephanie sighed, rubbing her eyes as she stared at some paperwork she still had to get through. She didn't like taking her work back with her, and she wanted to just get it done so she could sleep on the plane ride to the next town. She lifted her cell phone, looking at the time, but mostly checking to see if maybe she had a missed call or a text message from Chris. There was a small feeling of disappointment that she couldn't hide when she saw that she had nothing from him. 

She went back to her work, all the while debating on whether or not she should call him. She knew he had left a couple of hours ago, and she knew he'd been upset, so she figured maybe it was best to leave him alone. After all, he worked for her show now… it wasn't like she wasn't going to see him the next day at the next town, and the day and town after that, on and on and on.

She heard a knock on her door, and looked up, slightly surprised anyone still needed her. The show had ended a good hour ago, and most of the talent had already left.

"Come in," she called out, adding her signature to the bottom of the page that was in front of her as the door opened. She looked up and was even more surprised to see Chris standing there, holding the door only partially opened.

"Hey," he said, giving her a small smile. She couldn't help the butterflies at seeing his smile, wondering when was the last time she had really seen his full smile light up his face. She lowered her pen a little at her desk as she gave him a small smile back.

"Hey," she repeated.

"Uh, is this a bad time?" he asked, still not stepping completely into her office. "I need to talk to you, but if you're busy, I can go…"

"No, please," she said, before catching herself sounding too eager. She cleared her throat a little and tried again, "I'd like for you to stay." He didn't need to be told twice as he entered her office and closed the door behind him. He leaned back against the door, putting his hands in his pockets. She leaned back into her seat, watching him as he looked down at the floor. "What's on your mind, Chris?" she asked.

He ignored the fact that her question sounded so detached from emotion, a look of concentration on his face as he studied the floor and thought of what to say. It was now or never, say everything on his mind and in his heart and not look back, or hang onto it forever and have it gnaw at him for months, maybe years to come.

"I appreciate what you did for me last night," he finally said, folding his arms over his chest and still not looking at her directly.

"It was nothing," she said quietly.

"No, it wasn't nothing," he told her. "You didn't have to do that… but you did it anyways, and I really appreciate it. And for whatever I said, if I was a jackass or an asshole, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

"It's okay --"

"No, it's not," he insisted, looking off to the side. "It's not okay, the things I've said and done to you are not okay, Stephanie. And if you didn't want to forgive me for them, then… that's fine," he said, forcing the words now and forcing his voice to stay steady and strong. "I understand completely if you don't want to give us a chance, I get it, you don't even need to say anything…" his voice trailed as he swallowed and waited to make sure that when he spoke again, his voice would still be steady and strong. Stephanie stayed quiet, wanting to hear out everything he had to say.

Finally, he cleared his throat and continued, "You know, that night I left Smackdown was one of the hardest nights of my life. I thought you'd hate me forever," he said, forcing a chuckle, before biting his lip and looking down at the floor. "It's not a great thought, the thought of someone you care about hating you… it sucks, actually," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and forcing another short laugh. She could tell he was doing it to valiantly hold back tears, and it suddenly felt harder for her to breathe. It was one thing to see him lose his control completely while being drunk, it was another to see him struggle to keep his composure in front of her.

"I just don't know what to say anymore," he said, putting his hands back in his pockets and finally looking up at her. She could see that his eyes were reddened, and the pain in his eyes was so raw and so real that it almost made her want to cry.

"Chris…"

"I really don't," he said, shrugging almost helplessly. "What do you say to get someone to change their mind and give you a real chance? I've said everything I could possibly say, and…" he cleared his throat, swallowing again, "If that's not good enough, then… well, then I guess this is as far as we go. But I just, needed to tell you and make sure that you know, because I need you to know that I never used you, and I love you," he said, his voice finally cracking as he bit his lip hard, looking away momentarily and using every bit of will-power he could summon to keep his tears at bay. "I'm so in love with you that it makes me hate you at times because I can't have you… you don't let me have you, and… it just hurts sometimes… or all the time," he said, forcing another laugh so he wouldn't break in tears.

She looked at him in confusion, wondering if he had misunderstood what she meant in her note to him that morning… why was he talking to her like he was leaving her for good?

"Chris," she started, "What are --"

"No, don't, please," he said, shaking his head as he finally looked up at her, his blue eyes reddened with unshed tears. He knew her decision, but he didn't want to hear it outright. "It's okay," he told her, forcing a weak smile even as one tear escaped him. "I don't deserve another chance, it's okay, I just… needed you to know, that's all," he said, wiping at the tear with his wrist and reaching for the door handle with his other hand.

She was about to say something when the phone rang on her desk. She looked at it instinctively as Chris opened the door. She looked back up at him, standing and taking the phone in her hand to silence it.

"Chris, wait," she said, looking down at the phone to see that it was her father calling. She cursed his timing.

"It's okay, you're busy," he told her, avoiding eye contact with her so she wouldn't see his blurred eyes. "I'll be fine, I'll just see you tomorrow at the house show, okay? Night, Steph," he said, leaving the room before she could get a word in edgewise. He buried his hands in his pockets and walked quickly down the hall the way he came, incredibly thankful that everyone was gone.

If they saw his tears right then, they'd never let him live the moment down. He brushed the tears out of his eyes with his forearms, sighing and wondering if maybe getting a deal with Heyman was the best way to go. It would advance his career and let him finally begin to legitimately move on from Stephanie.

He stepped outside into the fresh air, instantly aware of how good it felt. The cool air felt good against his skin, particularly good to his moist eyes. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He had tried, he had tried hard with her, but he knew a lost cause when it was staring him in the face. With time, he'd move on, find someone new and move on with his life. He pulled out the keys to his rental from his pocket, wiping at his eyes again with his free hand.

He was more than startled right then when a hand came on his arm and turned him around just as he was about to reach his car. His initial anger disappeared at the sight of Stephanie standing there in front of him. She was panting slightly, obviously having run after him.

"Steph," he sighed as she brushed her curled hair back with one hand, "I said what I needed --"

She cut him off by pulling him down to her by his t-shirt and kissing him. He was so surprised he didn't kiss her back, and she pulled away only slightly to look him in the eye. There was still some redness in his eyes, and that hurt her to see.

"Chris, what I meant was this back and forth, not communicating was ending tonight," she told him, brushing his hair back. "I didn't mean that _we _were ending tonight…"

"I thought…" he tried to think with her lips near his, but it was a challenge, "I thought we were over…"

"We were never over," she whispered, seeking his kiss again. This time, he gave in, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close against him as they shared a passionate kiss. He stumbled back with her until his back was against his car, and they both laughed a little at the contact. He leaned in and kissed her again, his hand on the back of her head to deepen it as she gently slid her hands up his t-shirt to caress his skin. The contact made him sigh with content against her lips. The contact, the heat, it all felt so good to both of them, so exhilarating, so familiar…

So perfect.


	27. Normal Relationships

Ahhhh… the finale. Thanks for reading to this point, been a blast…

I own nothing!

* * *

**March 29****th****, 2004**

Two weeks. Hardly enough time to change two years of frustration.

But that didn't stop Chris from feeling like they were the best two weeks of his life.

He was leaning against a wall backstage on Raw, his arms crossed over his chest as he chewed on his gum, a hint of a smile on his face. He couldn't even remember the last time he had felt this good, but life was just good to him right then. It felt like nothing could get him down, and he loved that feeling. Granted, he had gone through a bit of a scare the week before with the roster lottery, but he was still on Raw. Everything was working out and falling into place for him.

Yes, life was good.

"Hey Jericho," he heard from his side. He turned to see Lance walking up to him, and he nodded to him.

"Hey man, what's up?" Chris asked.

"Nothing, what are you doing?" Lance asked curiously, before following Chris's line of sight straight to Stephanie. He looked back at Chris who was trying to hold back his smile. Lance rolled his eyes, "You two are sickening."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, watching Stephanie on her headset and giving orders to a group of workers at the table set up next to the stage entrance. He had been watching her work for the last ten minutes or so, and he loved it. He loved her being there with him, just like he loved the fact that she was actually his now. His smile grew a little more, "You were the one hounding me to fix things with her, so I don't want to hear it."

"True, but it's still sickening," Lance said, and Chris couldn't tell if he was joking or not by his tone. He glanced at him, and could tell he was kidding. Lance confirmed it, "In all honesty though, I'm happy that you two finally figured it out."

"So am I," Chris said, looking back over at her. "You have no idea."

"It's gotta be nice to have a real relationship with her for a change."

"I don't think I even know what the hell that is anymore," Chris laughed, before pushing himself off the wall. "If you'll excuse me, Lance, I think I'm gonna go say hi to my girlfriend." Lance snickered a little at the pride in Chris's voice when he referred to her in that way, but he truly was happy for his friend. The turn-around in Chris's disposition over the last two weeks had been amazing. He had gone from being irritable and down all the time to being his old joking and down-to-earth self. How could Lance or any of Chris's friends be against that?

"During the commercials, I expect that pyro _fixed,_" Stephanie said angrily into her headphones before switching them off. She sighed, pulling them off and closing her eyes, feeling more than a little stressed. She was just thinking about what else needed to be taken care of when she felt warm lips kissing her temple. She smiled despite herself when she felt him lower his kisses down the side of her face and then over to her ear. "Chris," she whined, "I'm busy here."

"Me too," he mumbled, his breath on her skin giving her chills. But she loved the way he made her feel, wanting to kick herself every time he made her feel so good for pushing him away for so long. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt him gently start to nibble on her ear with his teeth.

"Chris," she gasped, shoving him a little with her arm nearest him, "Seriously, now's not a good time."

"I love you," he said, pulling away from her. She pretended to ignore him as she slipped on her headphones, and he frowned, poking her on her side. "Don't ignore me," he told her, making her look at him. "I'm the king of the world, when I say I love you, I expect it said in return."

"You're such a child," she said even though she smiled, leaning forward and kissing him. He deepened the kiss as she put a hand on the side of his neck, both of them ignoring the crowd coming alive again as the show went back live on the air. It wasn't until someone cleared their throat in annoyance that Stephanie finally pulled away from Chris. She chewed on her newfound gum, a satisfied smile on her face as she turned to look at a disgruntled Eric Bischoff.

"Forgive me for interrupting," he said snidely as Chris wrapped an arm around Stephanie's waist. "I don't want to stop you from working too hard, Stephanie," he added sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and popped a bubble with Chris's gum, resting her hand on his thigh. Chris only smiled, wondering if it was possible for anything to bring him down.

"What do you want?" Stephanie demanded. "Things are running fine on this end, I don't need you to babysit me, Bischoff. I'm not a rookie at this."

"I wasn't coming to talk to _you, _Stephanie," Bischoff said, shifting his gaze to Chris who raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to talk to Jericho."

"Well I'm right here, junior, what do you want?"

"Look, just because you've moved on to someone else, and that someone else happens to be Stephanie McMahon, that doesn't mean you can disrespect me," Bischoff told him angrily. "And I wanted to warn you that if you so much as put your hands on Trish Stratus tonight, or Christian for that matter, you're going to be fined and suspended, because I am _not _having that Wrestlemania incident again tonight. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Chris answered, his voice clipped at the thought of Trish. Stephanie rubbed his leg, her eyes burning a hole through Bischoff.

"Are you done, can you go bother someone else now?" she asked him, and he gave her a dirty look before walking off. She sat there in silence with Chris for a moment before glancing over at him. "You okay?" she asked quietly, bringing his eyes up to her.

"Absolutely, why wouldn't I be?" he asked, looking at her in confusion. She shrugged, looking away.

"I don't know, I just know it still bothers you what she did to you," she said indifferently, and he frowned, moving his chair so he was sitting even closer to her.

"Hey, look at me," he said, and she looked back at him as he held her closer. "I don't care about her, so get that thought right out of that gorgeous head of yours."

"I didn't say that," she said defensively, and he snickered.

"But you thought it."

"Well, what do you want me to think, Chris… why else would it still bother you?" she asked almost accusingly, and he snickered again at her assumptions. This of course only served to make her more angry as she shoved him. "You know what, just go away, I'm busy."

He laughed again, "Man, you never let up, do you?"

"I said, go away," she ordered, glaring at him.

"Steph, it just bothers me because I trusted her, you know? It's the same with Christian… I trusted him, more than almost anyone, and it just pisses me off I guess that I couldn't see through their charade," he said, never breaking his eye contact with her. "And in the end, it cost me so much time with you… yeah, it still gets to me, but only because if it wouldn't have been for them, we could've had so much more time, and I --"

"It's okay, Chris," she told him, cutting him off and brushing his hair back.

"Are you sure, I don't want you mad at me," he said, smirking a little.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss. "I'm just used to you being a jackass, I'm getting used to this normal relationship thing, it's new to me."

"Normal relationship? You mean such a thing still exists?" he joked, and she rolled her eyes.

"I guess so, I suppose this is somewhat normal… sharing hotel rooms, alternating between staying at your place and staying at mine, what would you call it?"

"A pain," he kidded as she glared at him again. He laughed, before being struck by an idea. "Oh man, Stephanie, you know what I could do tonight?"

"What?" she asked, looking at him curiously.

"I could do the Highlight Reel, man, you know how long it's been since I've done that?" he asked excitedly. She had to laugh at his excitement. "That'll be so much fun, it's been way too long since I've brought that to Raw, can you give me time at the top of the hour?"

"We were going to put Tajiri and Kane at the top of --"

"Please," he said, giving her his biggest and cheesiest smile he could muster.

"Chris…"

"Please, please, pleeeeaaaseee…"

"Who would you have as a guest?" she asked, and he fell into thought for a second while she simply looked at him. He was still so handsome to her, she couldn't deny it. She had tried to ignore her attraction to him for so long, it was still surreal to not have to hide the way she felt around him and pretend like she didn't care when she always had. She watched as his blue eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Oh man, how about Trish?" he asked, and her smile waned at the name.

"Why?" she asked, not seeing where this was coming from.

"Why not, it'll be fun," he said with a grin.

"I don't think it's a good idea," she said and his grin faded as he gave her a look of confusion.

"How come?" he asked.

"What good will come of it? What if Christian uses it as a coy to jump you or something? Wouldn't it just be best to leave it alone?" she asked, but he looked at her like she had just spoken to him in a foreign language that he didn't understand.

"You want me to just do nothing?" he asked in disbelief and she sighed. "Steph, they embarrassed me, at Wrestlemania no less. And if I embarrass her tonight, it won't change anything, but it'll make me feel better… could you give me that?" he asked her genuinely as she looked him in the eye. He was looking her in that same way he looked at her late at night, that look that drove her crazy and she still hadn't figured out a way to say no to.

"Alright," she relented, watching as his entire face lit up and he beamed. "I'll give you the time at the top of the hour, just be careful, okay? I don't want to have to --" she was cut off when he leaned in spontaneously and kissed her, pulling her close to him as her headset cackled back to life. She ignored it for a moment, caught up with him and not wanting to end their kiss just yet as she wrapped her arms around his neck, both of them earning disgusted looks from passersby.

"Stephanie, Mike couldn't fix the pyro, he said he'll get it done over the next commercial break," her headphones cackled as Stephanie and Chris ignored it, too involved with each other to even fully notice it. Hunter was walking by just then to go out and make a statement to the fans and to see if he could demand a rematch when he caught sight of two people making out behind the table set up near the entrance. He gave them a look of disgust before realizing who it was, and then he really felt like throwing up. He cleared his throat loudly, prompting Stephanie to pull away from Chris and look over.

"Working hard or hardly working?" he asked snidely as Chris gave him the middle finger.

"Worry about beating Benoit, then come talk to us," Chris said, as Stephanie reached her hand over to him and rubbed some of her lipstick from his lips. He looked back at her and smirked, popping his gum which he had taken back. Hunter fumed, hating the constant references back to Benoit, and disappeared through the curtains. A statement needed to be made, and he was about to make it to the world.

They didn't care though, a feeling of happiness settled deeply into both Chris and Stephanie. She picked up her headphones as he leaned in to kiss her neck, making her laugh, which made him smile.

"Jesus, can you keep your hands and mouth off of me for twenty minutes?"

"You're too hot to keep my hands and mouth off you for any extended period of time," he said huskily, rubbing her lower back as she slipped on her headphones.

"Seriously though, I do have things to do, go and do whatever it was that you did during these past two years when you weren't all over me," she told him jokingly and he snorted.

"Hey, you know what I just realized?" Chris asked, pulling away from her this time.

"What?" she sighed.

"Bischoff and Trips both came over here, and you've done things with both of them… maybe they're jealous," Chris said smugly as she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure that's why they were so bothered by us, now will you please leave me alone so I can get things done?" she whined.

"I love you."

"Thanks," she said, before looking at him and seeing him pout. "Oh wow, are you trying to guilt trip me? Because that look would be more effective if you were four instead of thirty-four, but that's just a hunch." He continued to just look at her with the same look on his face before she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on his lips. "You know I love you too, now get the hell out of here, you're getting too cheesy for your own good."

He smiled and gave her a wink, popping his gum again, "Thanks for the gum, it's delicious… like you."

"Get out of here, Jericho."

* * *

Chris felt light on his feet. That was the best way to describe it as he leaned back against the ropes and watched Trish come down to the ring. He felt good, loose, light, a far cry from how he had felt about a month ago. He looked around at the crowd booing, and ran a hand over his mouth, expecting to feel that intense feeling of hatred and betrayal come over him at the mere sight of Trish.

But instead, he felt sorry for her. She had never truly had a chance with him, and now she was with his arch-nemesis and ex-best friend, Christian. Truth be told, he was more burned by what Christian had done to him than Trish. He didn't forgive her for a second for betraying him at Wrestlemania, but he had known and teamed with Christian for years. He paced in the ring as she stepped through the ropes, wondering what possible excuse she was going to give him. He hoped she wouldn't ask for forgiveness, because he'd be tempted to put her in the Walls… and he didn't want to get suspended.

"So I suppose you want an explanation?" Trish asked smugly as Chris just watched her. "You want the truth, Chris?" He hung back against the ropes, wondering how he had ever considered a serious relationship with the woman standing before him. "Well, you know what? The truth is that you were never there for me," she said angrily into her microphone as Chris narrowed his eyes at her. "I needed you, and where were you? Where were you when Christian had me in this ring in the Walls of Jericho, huh? You were _home_ with a bum _knee_?" she asked incredulously, staring a hole straight through him as he looked away. He hadn't been home that week, he had gone to see Stephanie… and they both knew it.

"Christian came to my hotel room that night, and you know what… everything he said made _so _much sense," Trish continued as the crowd continued to boo her heavily. "You never appreciated me, Chris, all you ever did was try to hurt me. You should've been there for me that night, you should've hobbled down to the ring on one leg to try and protect me… but you _didn't, _you never appreciated me! I'm a three-time babe of the year sweetie, and you're not even in my league! And so I planned with Christian all night long on how to screw you over at Wrestlemania," she spat out angrily as the crowd ate it up. Chris was watching and listening to her explanation, and she knew she was lying to him and to the entire world, but what did it matter? She would be damned to admit that he had practically kicked her to the curb first, so that wasn't the story she was going to give.

She couldn't help but worry, though, that he was going to give it for her.

"And you know what, Chris?" she asked, watching him and wanting to dig the knife further into her betrayal, wanting to make him hurt as much as he had made her hurt, "That wasn't the only thing we did all night long…"

Chris looked away again and went back to his pacing, mulling her words over as the crowd buzzed in anticipation of what his response was going to be. He bit back his temper at her final shot against him, by telling himself that he had Stephanie now. That thought quelled his temper enough so that he could actually speak. By the time he opened his mouth, he couldn't help but try and hold in a laugh at how ridiculous this whole thing was. She no doubt thought that she was making him hurt, and he wondered if it was because she thought he still gave two shits about her. He raised his microphone, bearing in mind Stephanie thinking he still cared about Trish…

He was going to erase those stupid notions from both of their minds.

"You know what, you're absolutely right," he said in a calm voice, slowing his pace down as he spoke into his microphone. "I deserved it, I deserved the embarrassment at Wrestlemania… I mean, how could I take you for granted? It's obvious to me, and to everyone here, exactly what you are, Trish Stratus… and that is the biggest slut of the _century_!" he said, raising his voice on the mic as the crowd roared its approval. Their cheers only made his adrenaline run, and he hoped that Stephanie was watching.

"Three-time babe of the year?" Chris asked incredulously into the microphone, as Trish glared at him. "Wasn't Babe a talking pig?" he asked snidely as the crowd cheered him on. This was too easy for him, he hadn't had this much fun since… well, since he had verbally berated Stephanie week in and week out. "And I'm not in your league?! I'm Chris Jericho baby, I'm a sexy beast!"

He circumvented her, soaking in the frustration on her face, when he was struck with the brilliant idea of using a familiar insult against her. He licked his lips and hoped that Stephanie was watching again… she was going to enjoy this one.

"You're nothing but a dirty…"

Stephanie's huge smirk disappeared when she heard that first adjective. She knew better than anyone alive the string that was going to come next. She crossed her arms over in front of her as she watched the monitor, for some reason feeling extremely annoyed that he was going to unleash this on Trish. Granted, it was just an insult, but it had been an insult born during his "feud" so to speak with her. It was unique to her, meant for her and for her only.

And yet she was pleased that Trish was being absolutely humiliated on national television. That had a bigger upside than Chris using some stupid insult, even though that stupid insult was still just meant for her ears. She heard someone chuckling behind her, and she looked over and groaned at who it was.

"I hope you're happy because this is all your fault," Christian told her as she wondered if Trish and Christian had her on a radar to come annoy the hell out of her whenever Chris was in the ring. "Everything was fine, but then you had to stick your nose where it didn't belong and ruin my friendship with Chris, I hope you're happy you selfish bit--"

She never let him finish that sentence before she slapped the hell out of him, putting all her strength into her hand for it. Christian's head whipped to the side and the shot forced him to take a step or two back. It immediately stung, and he raised a hand to his face, using the tips of his fingers to feel his lip which felt like it was bleeding. People walking by slowed down to look over and watch as Stephanie glared daggers at Christian.

"Don't you ever come near me again you bastard," she seethed, getting right in his face. "If you think I'm going to forget what you almost cost me with Chris, you're sorely fucking mistaken, and if you ever bring Chris up with me again, I'll make sure your ass is fired!"

He gave her a dirty look but did back up, slightly intimidated by the fire in her eyes as he wiped his lips. He cursed underneath his breath as he turned and stalked off to wait for Trish, who was running backstage at that moment. Stephanie glared at them as they met, Trish humiliated by Chris, and Christian embarrassed by her. Christian put an arm over Trish's shoulders to try and calm her down as Stephanie rolled her eyes and put her headphones back on.

Chris walked backstage with a huge smirk on his face, looking over to see Stephanie. But she wasn't there, and he looked around the immediate area, his smirk slowly disappearing to a look of disappointment when he didn't see her around. He walked past the gorilla position, looking around still, until he finally spotted her down the hall talking to some of the workers there. Grinning, he went over to her, excited and hoping she had seen every last second of Trish's humiliation out there on the Highlight Reel.

"So let's get it done people," Stephanie said as everyone dispersed around her just as Chris walked up. He gave her a short wave as she gave him an annoyed look, before turning and walking away from him. His amused look disappeared, replaced with a look of confusion as he went after her and caught her arm.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as she pulled her arm away from him.

"Nothing, I'm just busy, I told you that," she said, but he just looked at her suspiciously.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," she snapped. He put his hands on his hips as he just stared at her.

"Alright, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me, stop asking me already," she snapped again as she pulled up her headphones and turned to walk away. This time, he reached out and grabbed her hand and before she could protest, he was pulling her towards his locker room that night. "What the hell are you doing, Chris, I have work to do!" she said indignantly.

He ignored her for the time being as he walked on over to his locker room and threw the door open, walking in and forcing her to walk in with him. As soon as they were inside, he let her hand go and closed the door behind him, before leaning back against it as she turned to him angrily.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" she demanded as he crossed his arms over his chest and just watched her. "Huh? Who do you think you are?" He shrugged, pushing all of her buttons now. "You think you can just commandeer me around, like I'm some your property or something, is that it? Well you are sorely mistaken, Chris Jericho, because I don't know who the hell you think you are, but I'm no one's property!" He nodded understandingly, his calm demeanor only infuriating her even more. "Are you even going to say anything!"

"You're mad at me for calling Trish that insult, aren't you?" he said, fighting his smirk as she stared at him in disbelief, wondering how he had called that.

She scoffed, "No, why would I be? It's not like it was something just between _us, _it was an insult you used on me when you hated me, why should I care? I don't care, it doesn't bother me, call Trish whatever the hell you want, see if I care." He chuckled, looking down momentarily before looking back up at her with a knowing smile.

"If it makes you that mad, I can call you that insult again… for old time's sake," he teased as she glared at him.

"Do it and I'll kick you in the balls."

"Mmm, feisty, I like that," he said as he licked his lips and she rolled her eyes in annoyance. She walked over to the door, but he wasn't budging. She glared at him angrily as he raised an eyebrow, "Oh I'm sorry, you want to leave?"

"Yes, I have real work to do, and you're really annoying," she told him as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Baby, you're not exactly a walk in the park either, okay? And I would appreciate it if instead of getting pissed at me, you could tell me why you're mad, and then get pissed at me, instead of leaving me in the dark… communication is the key to success, after all," he told her with a smirk.

"Whatever, let me get by."

"Oh I'm sorry, you actually think you're leaving, you're not going anywhere."

"Oh really?" she challenged, her blue eyes boring in on his.

"Really really."

"You're a jackass."

"Well, you're a bitch, but who's keeping track? Now will you please do that for me? Please, Stephanie?" he asked her genuinely, the joking gone from his voice as she sighed.

"Alright, I will," she said as he gently pulled her towards him, turning them so he had her pinned against the door. He leaned in to kiss her and she readily returned his kiss as he reached up to pull her headphones clear off and drop them on the floor while she worked at pulling his shirt off. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he laughed against her lips, pulling away slightly to look at her.

"I can't believe you got mad about that, you know I don't give a shit about Trish," he told her as she rested her hands on his shoulders.

"It was stupid, can we forget it?" she asked, and he nodded as he leaned in to kiss her neck. "Guess who came up to talk to me while you were out there with Trish."

"I don't know, who?" he mumbled against her skin.

"Christian," she said, and he immediately pulled away to look at her. She expected to see that familiar anger burning in his eyes, but instead, he looked at her in concern.

"What happened?"

"Nothing… besides me slapping the hell out of him," she said with a smirk. He matched it slowly with one of his own, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up against him, before leading them over to the sofa as she laughed. "What are you _doing, _I have to work!"

"Yeah, on me," he laughed as they fell together on the sofa. She landed on top of him and she pulled up, straddling his waist as he crossed his arms behind his head, looking up at her. They looked at each other for a long time, both of them just appreciating being with each other again.

"How come we waited so long for this?" Chris asked, cutting into their comfortable silence.

"We're both stubborn?" she suggested, and he nodded. "Two years is such a long time though."

"Yeah," he said wistfully, thinking of how much time they had lost. "I am never letting that happen again, I promise you that, but on the flip side, I really don't regret it."

"Really?"

"Nah," he said, shaking his head. "I think I know how to appreciate a good thing now, you know?"

"Is that all I am to you, Chris, a good thing?" she teased as he laughed. She leaned down to kiss him and he maneuvered them so that he was on top, leaning most of his weight on his forearms as he pulled away and smiled at her. Even after all this time, his smile still got to her in a way that she couldn't quite place.

"You're more than a good thing and you know it, you just want me to keep telling you over and over how much you mean to me, don't you?" he said knowingly and she shrugged, less-than-innocently.

"Maybe."

"I love you, you're everything to me, and you know it, and you use it against me, and I love you anyways," he said as she laughed and hit his shoulder.

"I never use it against you…" she said before looking up into his eyes and seeing him give him that damn look that he knew always got to her. "And I love you too."

"You better," he joked, before thinking to himself for a moment. "You know what was the best thing of the living through hell these past two years without you?"

"You mean something good came out of it?" she joked back and he nodded.

"Absolutely… wanna know what it is, huh, you want to know?" he asked excitedly as she chuckled.

"What is it?" she asked as he smirked.

"That song I wrote is going to be a fucking _hit_!" he exclaimed, and she laughed and leaned up to capture his lips. He instantly kissed her back, and she could feel the smile in his kiss as she trailed her hands down his bare back, her headphones cackling by the door as he caressed her with his hands, both of them completely absorbed in each other. Neither paid attention to the headphones cackling on the floor by the door as the weight of Chris's promise came down on both of them.

It was the one promise between them that wasn't going to be broken any time soon.

THE END


End file.
